Once a Cheater …Always a Cheater…is BS
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I think you cant judge anybody too, because you never know why they did it. You dont know what really goes on in someones house and relationship, only they do. sometimes things look really peachy and happy, and they are far from it. we all make mistakes and as far as I know, nobodys perfect. I do think there are people who cheat just for the newness and rush of it all, but not everybody does. Sometimes you dont make the best decision, but if it's a mistake, learn form it and better yourself.
There are reasons to cheat?? If you're unhappy, LEAVE... simple as that.
No, I didnt say that. I said, EVERYBODY makes mistakes and those without fault, PLEASEEEE hold your hand up!!! Id personally like to see one of those people as ive NEVER had the pleasure of seeing one, just as the rest of the world hasnt. Cheating is horrible and it destroyes families and breaks hearts. Sometimes there are things called children, and other reasons and you cant just LEAVE simple as that.0 -
This is a very touchy subject for alot of people. If I was going to throw my 2 cents in, I would have to say that I agree with the theory that you cant judge everyone the same. There are those who do learn from their mistakes and become better for it. However there are those who (like previously stated..) have developed a pattern, and are repeat offenders.
Unless you are in someone's personal life then you cant say if they learned their lesson or if they are repeat offenders.
And for the record YES, I have been cheated on before, unfortunately in my case it was a habitiual thing for this man and needless to say I am no longer with him. But I am STILL not going to say once a cheater always one....0 -
"Once a cheater always a cheater" is one of those cliche phrases that drives me nuts because it's not true. Each situation and person is different and there are no shortcuts. My fiance said that I am the first woman he has never cheated on because I'm the first woman he has ever wanted to spend his whole life with. He cheated on other girlfriends when he was young and stupid and also didn't really love them. I trust him 100%. But yes, a lot of people are habitual cheaters. It just depends. I like to get to know people and then make my judgements based on their personality rather than on blanket statements that get thrown around by the general public.0
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Honestly, if someone can cheat once, they have proven that they can perform the behavior. Its almost the saying what "he does with you he can do to you" in regards to women who date men who are cheating. I'm not saying that once a cheater always a cheater, but if someone can do it once, they can def do it again, so IMO, its not BS.0
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I think you cant judge anybody too, because you never know why they did it. You dont know what really goes on in someones house and relationship, only they do. sometimes things look really peachy and happy, and they are far from it. we all make mistakes and as far as I know, nobodys perfect. I do think there are people who cheat just for the newness and rush of it all, but not everybody does. Sometimes you dont make the best decision, but if it's a mistake, learn form it and better yourself.
There are reasons to cheat?? If you're unhappy, LEAVE... simple as that.
No, I didnt say that. I said, EVERYBODY makes mistakes and those without fault, PLEASEEEE hold your hand up!!! Id personally like to see one of those people as ive NEVER had the pleasure of seeing one, just as the rest of the world hasnt. Cheating is horrible and it destroyes families and breaks hearts. Sometimes there are things called children, and other reasons and you cant just LEAVE simple as that.
Totally agree. I think that the fear of incurring the brutality of everyone's judgment usually precludes an honest discussion about the topic. People who were cheated on are sometimes the victims, but sometime they are selfish, horrible people, who use this as an excuse to wear the "victim" mantle. People point at the cheater and say, "What a miserable human being." Rarely, if ever, do they look at both sides of the issue. I also think this is an area where people feel vulnerable, so it is easier to address it in generalities without truly thinking about it.0 -
It may be more accurate to say, "Once a cheater, always suspected as a repeat offender."0
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interesting but not quite sure how it fits in with this site. same issue I have with other forums from time to time but to each their own.
Anything goes in the "chit chat" section. That's why it exists. I don't spend a lot of time in this section because it's not why I'm here. But it's the appropriate place for folks to post topics of this nature.0 -
I thought this was gonna be about food......lol sorry.
I agree with, but there are some people who are "once a cheater always a cheater"0 -
Ummm, people post **** here all time that has absolutely nothing NOTHING to do with fitness. I don't know why anyone has a bug up their *kitten* about OP posting this.
Needless to say- I agree. I know many situations where the person cheated once and never again.0 -
Generalizations are usually created because there's some truth to it.
That is all.
whateva
might as well be racist..
Not saying you are....but people who do this might as well be racist
Per Wiki: A generalization (or generalisation) of a concept is an extension of the concept to less-specific criteria. It is a foundational element of logic and human reasoning.[citation needed] Generalizations posit the existence of a domain or set of elements, as well as one or more common characteristics shared by those elements. As such, it is the essential basis of all valid deductive inferences. The process of verification is necessary to determine whether a generalization holds true for any given situation.
The concept of generalization has broad application in many related disciplines, sometimes having a specialized context- meaning.
Of any two related concepts, such as A and B, A is considered a "generalization" of concept B if and only if:
every instance of concept B is also an instance of concept A; and
there are instances of concept A which are not instances of concept B.
For instance, animal is a generalization of bird because every bird is an animal, and there are animals which are not birds (dogs, for instance). (See also: specialization).0 -
I LOVE Peanut Butter..but sometimes...sometimes, I just have to have jelly too.
What a cruel world!0 -
Exactly. Its always easy to point the finger at someone and stitch that scarlet letter on thier chests, but remember that everyone is a person and sometimes, we make mistakes. Nobody gets thru life without lying, hurting someone, and so forth. Some people have the courage to just leave and some dont. I think you never know what you will do untill you are in that position.I think you cant judge anybody too, because you never know why they did it. You dont know what really goes on in someones house and relationship, only they do. sometimes things look really peachy and happy, and they are far from it. we all make mistakes and as far as I know, nobodys perfect. I do think there are people who cheat just for the newness and rush of it all, but not everybody does. Sometimes you dont make the best decision, but if it's a mistake, learn form it and better yourself.
There are reasons to cheat?? If you're unhappy, LEAVE... simple as that.
No, I didnt say that. I said, EVERYBODY makes mistakes and those without fault, PLEASEEEE hold your hand up!!! Id personally like to see one of those people as ive NEVER had the pleasure of seeing one, just as the rest of the world hasnt. Cheating is horrible and it destroyes families and breaks hearts. Sometimes there are things called children, and other reasons and you cant just LEAVE simple as that.
Totally agree. I think that the fear of incurring the brutality of everyone's judgment usually precludes an honest discussion about the topic. People who were cheated on are sometimes the victims, but sometime they are selfish, horrible people, who use this as an excuse to wear the "victim" mantle. People point at the cheater and say, "What a miserable human being." Rarely, if ever, do they look at both sides of the issue. I also think this is an area where people feel vulnerable, so it is easier to address it in generalities without truly thinking about it.0 -
I have cheated in the past, and I will not do it again. I know some people don't believe me, but that's not really my problem.0
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On one hand you are right...But, on the other hand you are wrong.0
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Ummm... How about get even by dumping the cheating *****'s *kitten*??? And no offense, okay, maybe a little offense, but your mom should have left your father IMO. Cheating is not ok.
What a waste of a good marriage because of a single mistake.
Was it really a good marriage if someone cheated though? Obviously there were some issues, issues that may have been able to be resolved if someone hadn't cheated. If someone cheated on me, that'd be it. I'd never be able to trust again. But that's just me.0 -
Dear OP:
I love your profile picture...and your name.
That is all...
From, Me.0 -
Lost 60 lbs in 7 months after learning I had been cheated on. Best diet ever, haha!0
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I see plenty of topics under this category (Chit-cat, fun, and games) that aren't related to weight loss nor fitness. Not sure why people are posting replies as if they're confused as to why the poster created this topic.
At any rate, I imagine if a person who has cheated feels genuine remorse, he or she won't keep cheating. In my opinion most of the time though, the cheater does NOT feel remorse, so they carry right on cheating.0 -
ThisI think you cant judge anybody too, because you never know why they did it. You dont know what really goes on in someones house and relationship, only they do. sometimes things look really peachy and happy, and they are far from it. we all make mistakes and as far as I know, nobodys perfect. I do think there are people who cheat just for the newness and rush of it all, but not everybody does. Sometimes you dont make the best decision, but if it's a mistake, learn form it and better yourself.
)) 0 -
Totally agree. I think that the fear of incurring the brutality of everyone's judgment usually precludes an honest discussion about the topic. People who were cheated on are sometimes the victims, but sometime they are selfish, horrible people, who use this as an excuse to wear the "victim" mantle. People point at the cheater and say, "What a miserable human being." Rarely, if ever, do they look at both sides of the issue. I also think this is an area where people feel vulnerable, so it is easier to address it in generalities without truly thinking about it.
good point here. you can be an awful person to your spouse every day for a year, they can make one mistake (not to diminish it since it is a big one yes but in the case of a one night stand it is just that, a one night stand) and they are the evil person branded for life while the person on the other side of the equation is now now forever the victim. in most situations, there are two sides. sometimes someone is just a cheater, they like the thrill and they are immature and selfish but that is definitely not always the case.
cheaters can learn from their mistakes and that mistake may be how they picked their mate. maturing past the inherent selfishness of youth goes a long way and being more self aware of your wants and needs can help you as well as you try to build a better relationship the next time.
many people (as you can see from this thread) like to make generalizations and there is rarely any talking them out of it. life is a lot simpler and easier if you can see things in black and white and pretend that the grey doesnt exist so it is understandable that so many people live their lives that way. it is depressing and if you ask me, it is one of the biggest things that drags down humanity from the heights we could otherwise reach0 -
You sure get cheated on a lot......:bigsmile:I was cheated on by my ex when I was 20, so what did I do? I cheated on her to get even. BUT it didn’t fix how awful I felt for getting cheated on. I still felt like crap, and I have never cheated on anyone since then. I made a vow with me and my God that if I ever got hurt like that again I would just break up…and I did get cheated on three girlfriends later and I broke it off with her. Even though I had lots of opportunity to cheat I didn’t. I was 28 when that happened. I do not believe once a cheater always a cheater. My dad cheated on my mom once when I was like 6 or 7…It was the only time my dad ever cheated on my mother. They have been married going on 37 years now. My dad and I talked about that time, and he said he was young and stupid. Wished he never made that mistake. But once a cheater always a cheater is such crap. I personally feel people who say that are only trying to empower themselves to call someone a lifetime Ahole…Some people learn from their mistakes and never do them again.
Who is with me? I am probably in the minority here.0 -
I have never known someone who just cheated once. Most of the cheaters I know are habitual cheaters.
I agree with Dextress. cheating is not ok. If your unhappy in a relationship or if you aren't getting what you need from your partner, get out of the relationship.
This. Cheating just screws up everyone's lives.0 -
Hard to make broad sweeping generalizations on such matters.
personlly I kind of agree.
Some people are jus *kitten*, other people made a huge mistake and are trying to focus on never letting that mistake happen again.0 -
One time when playing monopoly I stole money from the bank.0
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I agree... sometimes people learn from their mistakes. But someone who cheats is usually never to be trusted again regardless of whether or not they cheat again.0
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You sure get cheated on a lot......:bigsmile:I was cheated on by my ex when I was 20, so what did I do? I cheated on her to get even. BUT it didn’t fix how awful I felt for getting cheated on. I still felt like crap, and I have never cheated on anyone since then. I made a vow with me and my God that if I ever got hurt like that again I would just break up…and I did get cheated on three girlfriends later and I broke it off with her. Even though I had lots of opportunity to cheat I didn’t. I was 28 when that happened. I do not believe once a cheater always a cheater. My dad cheated on my mom once when I was like 6 or 7…It was the only time my dad ever cheated on my mother. They have been married going on 37 years now. My dad and I talked about that time, and he said he was young and stupid. Wished he never made that mistake. But once a cheater always a cheater is such crap. I personally feel people who say that are only trying to empower themselves to call someone a lifetime Ahole…Some people learn from their mistakes and never do them again.
Who is with me? I am probably in the minority here.
thank you..for the comment...I got cheated on when I went to Basic Training...and it was both our first relationship....She was raped as a child and had commitment issues...which was the reason she used...and still was wrong...but that was her excuse....
the second cheater was after I moved 400 miles a way to look for work...Her reason was...
1) she thought I was cheating
2) she never met a man who didn't cheat so she became a cheater because she thought all men cheat
Till this day we are good friends and she wishes she never cheated on me and wishes we were together...0 -
This was posted in a forum call 'Chit-chat, fun and games". The OP was well within their right to post it here. Not everything on this site has to do with weight loss and calories.
That said, I agree. Everyone makes mistakes in life and sometimes cheating is just that. A mistake. Yes, there are people out there who do it all the time where they fit in that idea of once a cheater always a cheater. Not everyone is like this.0 -
I generally don't hold the actions of anyone under the age of 24 against them. I certainly did some things I regret when I was younger that I would never repeat now.0
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i like to believe that is the case. But I don't think that happens very often. The people who cheat like the thrill of it. They will most likely always do it. Kudos for you and your dad for not being that way. But like i said before, very rare that someone only cheats once.
I do agree with this to an extent. The MAJORITY of 'cheaters' continue to cheat because they liked it, its easy for them, and it becomes a habit. it takes more time to break a habit then it takes to make one. i have been the cheated on, never the cheatey. And I've been that naive girl that stuck around thinking they would change.. adn again and again.
All of my EX's are ex's for a reason. Because they never learned. The very few that dont continue to change have a stronger conscience than the others I think. Thats why I would never cheat. I would have died from guilt. For me it was easier to endure the paint than to dish it out. Not that it was easy.
Moral of MY story is people CAN change SOMETIMES, but VERY FEW PEOPLE do.0 -
and if certain things are just part of your dna then what else falls in that category?
is a criminal always a criminal? i stole some beer once in college, am i due to restart my life of crime any day now?
what about an over eater?
racist?
workaholic?
smoker?
close talker?
bad cook?
for those that say a cheater is always a cheater then what else have you written people off for after they did it once?0
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