Guys can you help me out? Nurturing relationships?????

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245

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  • gseburn
    gseburn Posts: 456 Member
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    Men are easy.


    Steak and a BJ

    Some men are just a wee bit more complex than that.
  • Bobby_Clerici
    Bobby_Clerici Posts: 1,828 Member
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    Nurturing relationships?
    Can I be blunt without coming off as creepy or trollish?
    I don't need, require or desire nurturing but steady, rip roaring sex.
    That's all the nurturing I need.
    I realize ladies need more, so I send or bring flowers twice per month and leave stupid notes around with little things like "thinking of you" or "you are my sunshine"...and on and on....
    It takes effort and what is absurd and irrelevant to me is the world to her.
    Anyway, that's my take.

    Maybe some guys are different.....:bigsmile:
  • FuneralDiner
    FuneralDiner Posts: 438 Member
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    Um. I don't even know wtf this means. If it's going well and you're happy, why does it need to change?
  • LemonBurns
    LemonBurns Posts: 538 Member
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    i like how my girlfriend is so helpful and relized this after she almost died had a big scare just the other day i was comming home for lunch and when i opened the door i heard her making strange sounds thank god the cable guy was in there he was holding her from behind and giving her what i later found out through her was the heimlich maneuver i mean he was really trying too almost lifting her off the floor with each thrust he apparenty disloged it cuz i heard her saying oh god oh god it musta been frightening for her to pray like that , mannn he was such a nice guy too not only did he save her life he gave me 328 free channels of cable , mannn you dont find good people like that ever day

    oh lawd...I can see how this went over some heads...lol

    Bha ha ha - ya. I can see that too - FUNNY BOY!!! You CrAzY!
  • mikeyboy
    mikeyboy Posts: 1,057 Member
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    Nurturing relationships?
    Can I be blunt without coming off as creepy or trollish?
    I don't need, require or desire nurturing but steady, rip roaring sex.
    That's all the nurturing I need.
    I realize ladies need more, so I send or bring flowers twice per month and leave stupid notes around with little things like "thinking of you" or "you are my sunshine"...and on and on....
    It takes effort and what is absurd and irrelevant to me is the world to her.
    Anyway, that's my take.

    Maybe some guys are different.....:bigsmile:

    Pretty much sums it up Bobby.
  • Bobby_Clerici
    Bobby_Clerici Posts: 1,828 Member
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    Taking the time to speak your partner's "language" is important... In other words, figuring out what makes him feel loved, and doing that. For you, it may be verbal affection. For him, it may be physical intimacy or spending quality time together or getting gifts or leaving little notes or something else. I always have good results when I figure out what makes another person feel loved (it's usually different than things that make ME feel loved) and spending the time to make them feel appreciated in the way that is most significant to them as an individual.
    Huh?
    ZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzz:yawn:
    I need my woman to talk less and undress more.....simple deal.
    Let's not make relationships more complicated that we need to. You start in with a bunch of psycho-babble, and he might just pack up and GO!
  • eilmeister
    eilmeister Posts: 37
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    Show an interest in his hobbies..but don't try to take them over.

    This, and this.

    And these: Don't create problems where there aren't any. Be yourself. And leave a little room for each other to do things on your own.
  • wareagle8706
    wareagle8706 Posts: 1,090 Member
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    Taking the time to speak your partner's "language" is important... In other words, figuring out what makes him feel loved, and doing that. For you, it may be verbal affection. For him, it may be physical intimacy or spending quality time together or getting gifts or leaving little notes or something else. I always have good results when I figure out what makes another person feel loved (it's usually different than things that make ME feel loved) and spending the time to make them feel appreciated in the way that is most significant to them as an individual.

    Have you read that Love Languages book? sounds like it. that is a really great book for the question the OP is asking. It's by... Gary Chapman, I think?
  • MarkAWhipple
    MarkAWhipple Posts: 77 Member
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    Guys are veery responsive to physical intimacy. I am not saying drop your pants every five seconds. Many men just like a kiss on the cheek for no reason or you coming and sitting next to us when we're reading/watching tv/smoking some crack....
  • dcc56
    dcc56 Posts: 172 Member
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    ...how about something simple, like taking time to plan out a date night...and take turns doing it.
    It makes taking time out just for us a special time for us to be together, alone, doing something we like, to
    temporarily forget about all of our other responsibilities, just for a while. And end the night with some cuddle time.
  • lizziebeth1028
    lizziebeth1028 Posts: 3,602 Member
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    don't try so hard lol...in other words if your relationship is going good then let it progress naturally, respect each other, be honest with each other, don't take each other for granted, treat each other how you would in turn like to be treated!
  • JakeRN45
    JakeRN45 Posts: 19
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    Glad she was okay. Scary situation
  • Julzanne72
    Julzanne72 Posts: 467 Member
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    I can honestly say after being married and divorced, and now being engaged, that for me communication is so important. Knowing what your SO needs to feel loved, etc. I never realized during my marriage, how much the little things in a relationship mean. Holding hands in the car, in public, a kiss on the forehead, a simple I love you, saying please and thank you for little things, doing things together(ie:household chores like cleaning, cooking, etc) My marriage was full of a lot of sefishness, and I was alone alot while he did whatever fun things he chose to do like softball, hunting, bowling, etc..this time around, I knew what I wanted and needed in a relationship and was up front about it from the get go. I have never been happier and I feel so blessed.

    I suggest you just talk and you both determine what it is you need to nuture your relationship. Good luck to you! :)
  • CinJay
    CinJay Posts: 157 Member
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    something people often forget,

    treat your partner with the same respect and politeness you would anyone else.
    say thank you, please, ask if they would like, would mind, will need.
    smile, ask how their day was, say good morning and good night.

    people forget that these little things matter, that they stop people feeling like they're being taken for granted. these little things done every day mean more than any grand gesture or romantic scheme. these things are the foundations on which healthy relationships are built.

    ^^^^ this! It's the little things that make a big impact, not the showy displays or gifts. Every morning before my husband leaves for work, he comes and gives me a kiss, even if it's 5 am and I'm sleepy. Means more to me than you can imagine. He also once commented that he appreciates my generosity - what I do for others, not just what I do for him. Appreciate each other, respect each other, treat each other the way you each want to be treated, take an interest in what the other likes without taking it over, and respect each others' space. I've been married to my best friend for almost 5 years now and it's as wonderful now as it was on day one.
  • Bobby_Clerici
    Bobby_Clerici Posts: 1,828 Member
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    Nurturing relationships?
    Can I be blunt without coming off as creepy or trollish?
    I don't need, require or desire nurturing but steady, rip roaring sex.
    That's all the nurturing I need.
    I realize ladies need more, so I send or bring flowers twice per month and leave stupid notes around with little things like "thinking of you" or "you are my sunshine"...and on and on....
    It takes effort and what is absurd and irrelevant to me is the world to her.
    Anyway, that's my take.

    Maybe some guys are different.....:bigsmile:

    Pretty much sums it up Bobby.
    One huge mistakes women make is trying to figure out their man.
    Please....
    All that's ANNOYING!
    I am easy to figure out.
  • Spice_4_Life
    Spice_4_Life Posts: 225
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    Men are easy.


    Steak and a BJ

    Haha!! So true :)
  • mndamon
    mndamon Posts: 547 Member
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    stroke their ego once in awhile.

    Is that what you ladies are calling it these days?

    Agree though, stroke the "ego" and don't ask him to hang wallpaper. I'll hang drywall before I hang wallpaper.
  • secretlobster
    secretlobster Posts: 3,566 Member
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    Have you read that Love Languages book? sounds like it. that is a really great book for the question the OP is asking. It's by... Gary Chapman, I think?

    I have! It makes a lot of practical sense. I understand he takes kind of a religious angle (I'm not, so I kind of ignore it) but it's worth the trivial hour or so it takes to actually read through. Really made me change my approach to relationships and it always has an effect.
  • MeliJean78
    MeliJean78 Posts: 249
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    BOB doesn't need nurturing.
  • glovepuppet
    glovepuppet Posts: 1,710 Member
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    thankyou soooo much for your concern apparently the cable guy is just part time she says he is really a nurse and shes been going there three times a week for treatment , free of charge if you can believe that mannnnn such good people in this world
    lolz!

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