"Dead Fish" handshake

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  • JustJennie1
    JustJennie1 Posts: 3,843 Member
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    PS. how is it disrespectful? maybe he doesnt know he's a dead fish handshaker and maybe, just maybe, that sh it isnt about you. *gasp* i know its hard to comprehend.

    P.P.S She said he gave a normal, firm shake to the men who were there so it kinda was about her.
  • DimpleBrockhouseofLoamsdown
    DimpleBrockhouseofLoamsdown Posts: 6
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    PS. how is it disrespectful? maybe he doesnt know he's a dead fish handshaker and maybe, just maybe, that sh it isnt about you. *gasp* i know its hard to comprehend.

    I don't know about disrespectful more than it really just makes a very bad first impression.... aka the experience OP had.
  • _Timmeh_
    _Timmeh_ Posts: 2,096 Member
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    Could have been somewhere back in time when his mom or dad was giving him life lessons, open the door for ladies, be polite, treat elders with respect, don't fart in public, firm handshake for men, gentle handshake for women....etc
  • SwimTheButterfly
    SwimTheButterfly Posts: 265 Member
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    It is quite strange. It might be as was said above, perhaps in the past he hurt a woman's hand or perhaps he thought you were stunning ...you will never know. But you could have a conversation with him in the future about something other than a handshake and then shake his hand again and find out what happens?
  • indisguise
    indisguise Posts: 235
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    Arthritis runs in my family. I've had my hand crushed by guys who were delivering a "firm" handshake. It hurt. I'd rather get the dead fish than the 'I'm a manly man' handshake any day!

    I say lighten up OP, perhaps he was simply trying to be gentle.
  • SeaChele77
    SeaChele77 Posts: 1,103 Member
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    PS. how is it disrespectful? maybe he doesnt know he's a dead fish handshaker and maybe, just maybe, that sh it isnt about you. *gasp* i know its hard to comprehend.

    P.P.S She said he gave a normal, firm shake to the men who were there so it kinda was about her.

    Thank you - yes, he gave a firm handshake to the 5 other men that were present. and now remembering....he gave me not 1, but 2 limp/dainty handshakes. I think it was....just a little....about me. I'm not saying give me a hand breaking handshake, I don't mind gentle - but not limp.
  • sz8soon
    sz8soon Posts: 816 Member
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    Why?
    Because buried deep in his past is the time when he crushed some lady's knuckles by accident.
    Shrug it off.

    I'm sorry, but I got some huge *kitten* hands and I'm constantly crushing the life out of guys hands around here. So when I go to shake a ladies hand, I do tend to give the dead fish handshake.

    huge *kitten* hands....hmmmm
  • BrawlerBella
    BrawlerBella Posts: 400 Member
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    You mentioned he was from the South. Most boys here are taught the "Mans, Man handhsake" and to treat a lady, the dainty flower that she is with respect therefore you get a gentle shake. If you are family or friends you get a dainty shake, a peck on the cheek and gentle hug...OH THE HORROR!!
  • mbajrami
    mbajrami Posts: 636 Member
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    I get so offended by sissy handshakes.
  • Fatal1ty2k5
    Fatal1ty2k5 Posts: 333 Member
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    You mentioned he was from the South. Most boys here are taught the "Mans, Man handhsake" and to treat a lady, the dainty flower that she is with respect therefore you get a gentle shake. If you are family or friends you get a dainty shake, a peck on the cheek and gentle hug...OH THE HORROR!!

    Exactly this, from the south and I was taught handshakes are for men, women you have to be gentle with.
  • SmexAppeal
    SmexAppeal Posts: 858 Member
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    Did you squeeze his hand? I would have totally turned his hand proper direction and firmly squeezed.
    Men sometimes... jeeeez
  • 1n2m3g
    1n2m3g Posts: 40 Member
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    I get creeped out by all handshakes. Total germaphobe. Where's the Purell? Eek!!
  • SeaChele77
    SeaChele77 Posts: 1,103 Member
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    You mentioned he was from the South. Most boys here are taught the "Mans, Man handhsake" and to treat a lady, the dainty flower that she is with respect therefore you get a gentle shake. If you are family or friends you get a dainty shake, a peck on the cheek and gentle hug...OH THE HORROR!!

    Exactly this, from the south and I was taught handshakes are for men, women you have to be gentle with.

    Yes, we are in the South and again gentle does not have to equal limp (aka dead fish). A nice firm but gentle handshake is quite appropriate.
  • AShawneeF
    AShawneeF Posts: 123 Member
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    I don't care who it is, even little old ladies. As long as you can move your fingers, it's respectful and honorable to give a decent handshake. I have no idea why any respectable person does that. I'm kinda shy around new people and i'm a small girl - but even i make the effort to give a strong, professional handshake.
    Totally a pet peeve for me too.

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  • trojanbb
    trojanbb Posts: 1,297 Member
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    i've given them sometimes, it's usually when the other person, usually female, does not commit to the handshake. Girls often just slightly extend their hand which means I end up just making contact with my fingers. With guys, we usually meet halfway and it works.
  • ShreddedTweet
    ShreddedTweet Posts: 1,326 Member
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    first world problems

    THIS!
  • hyperionguy
    hyperionguy Posts: 90
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    i've given them sometimes, it's usually when the other person, usually female, does not commit to the handshake. Girls often just slightly extend their hand which means I end up just making contact with my fingers. With guys, we usually meet halfway and it works.

    Bingo!

    Yeah, in general, that is how we were taught growing up. Women make it awkward and confusing by not agreeing among yourselves what the standard is. Many of you do it different ways and 1) expect us to magically know which type you are, 2) take offense to having your hand shook in a manner different from your preference. Can't have it both ways.

    A gentle handshake I have no problem with, that isn't at all like dead fish, or as I call it "corpse hand". Bleh. Also I don't like the old fashioned "grabbing fingers" kind of handshake made the standard by old ladies ages ago. I think in today's world it comes across as insincere and weird.
  • hyperionguy
    hyperionguy Posts: 90
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    first world problems

    THIS!

    I disagree.

    The meaning and importance of a handshake transcends socioeconomic boundaries. It (and other forms of greeting) is important across many cultures and the form in which it is done matters.
  • foxyforce
    foxyforce Posts: 3,078 Member
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    first world problems

    THIS!

    I disagree.

    The meaning and importance of a handshake transcends socioeconomic boundaries. It (and other forms of greeting) is important across many cultures and the form in which it is done matters.

    edited for clarity: LOL
  • melbaby925
    melbaby925 Posts: 613
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    this is one of those trivial things that bothers me more than it should.

    if its an older person i understand it could be arthritis issues but other than that its just weird.

    I'm Texan so if you give me a bad hand shake you are dead to me.


    thats what i mean. if someone gives me a limp handshake i immediately think less of them even though its silly to do so.

    Same here. I can't help it - I tend to blow them off. And I don't think anyone has ever tried to turn the handshake so their hand is on top...I'm going to have to pay more attention. Usually when someone gives a dead fish, I try and detach as quickly as possible.

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