Relationship on the rocks and I need chocolate!!

jilliew
jilliew Posts: 255 Member
in Motivation and Support
July has been the worst month ever. My bf of 3+ years and I are teetering on the edge of break-up, and all I want to do is eat crap. I have lost my motivation to work out, too (why work to look good when the person you love doesn't really give a crap?). We started this weightloss journey together, and now he's moved in with his mom for a bit until we can see if we can straighten things out. He took his puppy, too, and walking him was my main motivation for getting out and moving. Excuses, excuses, I know, but it's SO hard to stay on track right now. Sigh.
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Replies

  • billsica
    billsica Posts: 4,741 Member
    No excuses. you just got to put on your big girl panties and do it.
  • Mommagoose4
    Mommagoose4 Posts: 132 Member
    My opinion is DO IT FOR YOURSELF!
    You can't do this for anyone but YOU.
    And if he doesn't give a crap who cares - b'c the next (if your bf doesn't come around) WILL give a crap!
    So chin up~!
    You can do this.
  • lumina0o0
    lumina0o0 Posts: 498 Member
    The best way to be successful is to want to lose the weight for you and no one else. If your trying to do it for someone else you'll never be happy.
  • drusilla126
    drusilla126 Posts: 478 Member
    Throw on some Kelly Clarkson or Cher tunes (Strong Enough comes to mind) and work out. It'll be a better outlet for your anger and you will feel better rather than guilty if you gorge on chocolate. Trust me I've lost 34 pounds partly fueled by my recent dislike of men lol
  • mfoutch86
    mfoutch86 Posts: 87
    You don't need chocolate or any other junk for that matter, thats something you have conditioned yourself to think. Go for a run. Sweat out all the emotions.
  • hellokehtty
    hellokehtty Posts: 94
    You know, if you do get out there and get moving, it will help clear your head - get your mind off of it for a bit!!
  • macx2mommy
    macx2mommy Posts: 170 Member
    I have lost my motivation to work out, too (why work to look good when the person you love doesn't really give a crap?).

    The person you love should be you!
  • missymuffet459
    missymuffet459 Posts: 162
    My opinion is DO IT FOR YOURSELF!
    You can't do this for anyone but YOU.
    And if he doesn't give a crap who cares - b'c the next (if your bf doesn't come around) WILL give a crap!
    So chin up~!
    You can do this.

    This.
  • Princess_Sameen
    Princess_Sameen Posts: 284 Member
    I do feel for you was in a similar situation! however I am losing weight for me so I still kept working out! maybe you are losing weight for the wrong reasons...if your main reason is someone else!
  • danabrash
    danabrash Posts: 67
    why work to look good when the person you love doesn't really give a crap?

    Because you love yourself. why do it for anyone else?
  • Hellbent_Heidi
    Hellbent_Heidi Posts: 3,669 Member
    Sorry about your situation, but don't fall back on food...its NOT the answer and will only make you feel worse after you eat it.

    Take your feelings out in the gym, or get outside for a run. Exercise is great for getting rid of anger and stress...

    Good luck, and hang in there.
  • jrwatson87
    jrwatson87 Posts: 66
    If you want to use him as a reason to lose weight, it is the wrong reason. I've done it a million times so I know how it feels. You have to push yourself and show him that you are stronger without him. He will come crawling back no joke
  • GodsGirl37
    GodsGirl37 Posts: 348
    defintely do it for yourself! I know how difficult it is to have a relationship on the rocks. been there. stand strong.
  • Kelley528
    Kelley528 Posts: 319 Member
    Why work to look good? You work to look good for yourself. If you dont give a crap about yourself why should anyone else.

    My boyfriend is all muscle and abs and he loved me even though I gained weight. I started to lose weight because I couldnt stand looking at myself anymore. The difference is now I like the way I look, too.

    I know its hard when relationships start coming apart but you still have to take care of you. I hope your relationship works out the way you want it to but if it doesnt, you are going to feel even worse if you wind up gaining lots of weight as a result of it.
  • vb4evr
    vb4evr Posts: 615 Member
    Just remember... even though may have started together bottom line is you are doing this for you.
    Refocus, and give it hell =)
  • Liasings
    Liasings Posts: 150 Member
    Sounds like kickboxing is in your future.
  • Par8hed4life
    Par8hed4life Posts: 104 Member
    You will not be happy with yourself with or without him until you make the changes you need to make.

    If a puppy was helping you stay motivated...get a new puppy.
  • MizSaz
    MizSaz Posts: 445 Member
    At the risk of sounding harsh, whether you shove a bunch of chocolate down your throat or not, you're still going to be in this situation. It's ok to be upset. Maybe you need to learn to feel your feelings, not eat them. You're human. We're emotional critters. Don't be ashamed of a few tears, they are part of life.

    Wishing you well & positive vibes your way!
  • ReinasWrath
    ReinasWrath Posts: 1,173 Member
    wow I can SUPER relate to you atm. My bf and I of 4 years (4 and a half years in a few days too. great timing huh...) are on the edge and I have wanted to do nothing but lay in bed. I guess I should tell yah to get it out of your head and workout (might relieve some stress) and to not eat bad or else you'll feel worse... but I don't wana be hypocritical. All i can say is good luck hun, feel better and best wishes to you. Try to get in there to work out if you can but if not I mean life happens sometimes...
  • JuneyJo
    JuneyJo Posts: 182 Member
    (why work to look good when the person you love doesn't really give a crap?)

    Because your worth is not determined by someone else's opinion of you.
    No matter what happens with your bf, YOU are worth every ounce of effort you have.
    Don't give up.
  • Jules2Be
    Jules2Be Posts: 2,238 Member
    RAWR!!!!!!
  • joeyrox808
    joeyrox808 Posts: 3
    That's some great advice
  • Assassins_Angel
    Assassins_Angel Posts: 329
    i was going to comment but it seems everyone has beaten me to it!! you should be losing weight for you! not him! i
  • Jani2416
    Jani2416 Posts: 275 Member
    I know the feeling.

    The thing is, I'm doing this for me and my kids...not for anyone else! And if I have learned anything over the past 7 months, stuffing your face isn't the answer. Exercising is now what I do to get rid of stress. I feel so much better once I'm done.

    Don't let this ruin any progress you have made, be strong and do this for YOU! Good luck!
  • futuremalestripper
    futuremalestripper Posts: 467 Member
    Keep working out.
    You need to look hot so you can get a real hot bf when you're single.
  • gwduker
    gwduker Posts: 293
    Do it for yourself, you are the only one that REALLY counts. Besides, what better revenge than to get smokin' hot and be with someone else!! :)
  • DemiRaye
    DemiRaye Posts: 37
    Do it for YOU! My boyfriend and I started our weight loss journeys together, but we're not doing it for the other. I'm losing weight because I want to feel good about myself, and he is losing to feel better about himself. My advice would be to put yourself first in all aspects and then worry about your relationships. You can't give true, genuine love to him or anybody else, if you aren't truly in love with yourself first.

    Best of luck to you during this difficult time <3
  • logicman69
    logicman69 Posts: 1,034 Member
    I understand where you are comng from. A couple weeks ago I found out my Mom was diagnosed with cancer. It really hit me and I ended up falling back on my old eating ways (lots of chocolate chip cookies, lots of beer). I did notice that the binging did not make me feel better, like I thought it would. It actually made me feel worse. Instead I went out for a run, and it helped clear my head.

    I know what you are going through is rough, but use that anger and frustration to fuel you workouts, not your sweet tooth. (ok... you can have 2 cookies... :wink: )
  • AJ_Pete
    AJ_Pete Posts: 863 Member
    Here's what I say.... and it's not going to be what everyone else says (at least I don't think so, but I tend to blubber on)....

    Eat that junk... go ahead, eat it. I'm serious too!!! You know in your heart where things are heading and it's tough to deal with. I've been there, but I was two months pregnant.

    Do whatever it is that comforts you until you feel sick of it and say "ENOUGH IS ENOUGH"... you'll find that fuel to get back on the wagon, but you might need to hit bottom before you do that. AND WHEN YOU GET BACK ON THE WAGON, you'll be ready and nothing will stand in your way because a fire will be lit under your *kitten* and you'll be doing this for yourself!!

    HUGS!
  • RobynMWilson
    RobynMWilson Posts: 1,540 Member
    If you do anything like lose weight for someone else, you will never maintain it. You can't place "conditions" on positive change (i.e. I'll lose 15 lbs if I get this job, boyfriend, girlfriend, million dollars). If you have a reservation about your lifestyle change then don't bother. You have to want this for yourself and nobody else! Also, the best way to feel better about yourself during/after a break up is to get fit! Then you feel sexy and confident!

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