People who "used" to have eating disorder, now obese?

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  • sheshe32
    sheshe32 Posts: 195 Member
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    Yeah I would starve myself for 7-10 days at a time an would drink outrageous amounts of water. Then after that starving period I would eat like there was no tomoro and then feel terrible about myself and beat myself up about it. and would workout for 5-7hours a day eat nothing again for almost two weeks(except water). It was horrible. My parents used to make fun of me when I was little for being overweight and I would go into this major depression. I used to get made fun of in school as well. I had no support and was depressed through most of my childhood. I ended up moving in with my grandparents(because of how bad my parents were) and she gave me anything and everything and my weight again skyrocketed. Throughout the years ive went on and off with sarving myself.I still don't have great confidence(like at all), but I'm trying to work on it. Growing up being told you are a worthless fat *kitten* over and over again, you start to believe it. I gained a LOT of weight once i started to actually eat again. But like I said I'm really really trying to work on that. I have an amazing boyfriend who tries to help me out all the time and loves me no matter what. I'm becoming a new and better person everyday :)
    Sounds like you are on the right track in working on what you need to become a happy and healthy person. Its good to hear. As long as we are aware of why we do things and are able to stop and try re-wire our brains to know that good food, portioned, is GOOD for us. And exercise, is good for us. We will be ok.

    Yes, its hard when people are so negative towards you. We just have to tell ourselves, we are better than the people saying these things. Sometimes its the only way to get through x
  • sheshe32
    sheshe32 Posts: 195 Member
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    I'm 5,8" as an adult my lowest was 117, my heaviest was 320. When I was skinny, I kept telling myself I was fat, when I -was- fat I kept telling myself I wasn't 'that fat.' It took me long time to get comfortable with who I was and just accept that I will always be me no matter how much I compare myself to other people. Self acceptance is the only real way to have a healthy body image.
    Me too. I wouldn't wear singlets or show my arms when I was around that low weight (I think around 120?) Now when up at the beach (not in town though...) I will wear a singlet and don't feel as insure and I am around 310lbs now. Its funny. I see myself in the mirror and don't recognise myself as a heavy woman, but when I try on clothing etc...it hits home (also hearing s******s and comments and getting looks from people who I don't even know!!) I know I am fat. But I forget LOL
  • sheshe32
    sheshe32 Posts: 195 Member
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    At about age 16 I became obsessed with my "fat" body and food became my enemy. If I sinned and ate a banana I would work out to burn it off. I started going to the gym 3 x a day. In the morning before work, a run at lunchtime and back to the gym for a minimum of two classes. From there I started to purge after meals. I got down to 49 kgs, my doctor was telling me Iwas underweight but all I could see was FAT! Now I have just hit 40 years oldand I still have an unhealthy obsession with my weight. I hate to admit it but Im *eek squirm* 90kgs. The weird thing is I dont hate my body as much as I did when I was skinny although in reality I am a heifer! Its great to see there are so many people who have similar stories to mine.
    This is what I have been thinking about lately. I was wondering, if there were people out there with similar stories. Maybe that may help us move from where we stuck (me in particular LOL). So its interesting to see, and lovely to talk to people similar to myself.

    Feel free to add me, I think this journey could be an interesting one.

    Actually that is another thing I THINK I have worked out. Each time I start losing weight (usually around 20lbs is the tops) I start to sabortage myself, and start over eating again. I like being smaller, healthier, happier. But for some reason each time my confidence starts growing...I give up and think its not worth it. My conclusion was (and tell me if this has happened to you) is that I do not like the person I was when I was lighter. I don't want to be obsessive, worry I will be the ED again. That maybe that confident me isn't the person I should be (I was a bit wild LOL and VERY flirty). I also remember that feeling about feeling fat all the time, but was wasn't. Is this what has shaped my sabortage each time. Am I setting myself up for failure as I don't think I deserve it, or want to be who I think I am when I am thin?? (does that make sense to anyone LOL) Sorry just rambling....:happy:
  • Tivo8MyNeighbors
    Tivo8MyNeighbors Posts: 151 Member
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    Yes, in high school, I suffered from anorexia, only to become a binger in my late twenties. This was an offshoot of surviving child molestation. However, as I recovered from the trauma of that experience, I find I suffered less and less from body image problems. I have finally, in the last five years or so, been able to take the bull by the horns and become healthier.

    It isn't as uncommon as one might think.
  • healthymission92
    healthymission92 Posts: 157
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    I'm 5'8 and at my lowest I was 96pounds (I never straved myself or purged. But I controlled what I ate, probably used to eat around 1000-1200 a day, but as I have a high metabolism and was in an active job I lost so much) I'm now 149pounds, so a healthy weight but it's too much for me and I do not feel comfortable. I want to get to 130. I have gone through an episode of restricting then binging then repeat. So have gained an extra amount. ATM i'm working on trying to balance out my diet and focus on only eating healthy nutrious foods.
  • lauralind5
    lauralind5 Posts: 133 Member
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    I dont think its "used" to have an eating disorder I think its still an eating disorder, just in the opposite way. At least thats been my experience. When I was 17-20 I weighed 109...at 5'8". Ugh. by the time I was in my 30s (after 3 pregnancies) Ive gone the opposite way, with the exception of about 10 years ago, I did the no fat diet and lost a lot. For me its finding the balance between total control (anorexic behavior), total obsession (anorexic behavior) to a healthy vision and expectation of myself.
  • gramacanada
    gramacanada Posts: 558 Member
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    I call what it sounds like most of us here now have: disordered eating. My meaning is an unhealthy relationship with food.
    It's pretty well all terminology anyhow. a label is merely a tag line. it makes it easier to explain. pigeonhole, or research.
    it has to be called Something. as long as we recognize it, we can do something about it. that's the point at which we can
    get beyond what we Have or Are. and take any steps we deem necessary. Good on us! :flowerforyou:
  • Fatbutfoxy
    Fatbutfoxy Posts: 2
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    o my sheshe32... were we separated at birth?? lol Our paths are so similar. As well as the food and exercise issues,I also hated the unwanted attention from men when I was lighter. At least now I know they are talking to me without any "ulterior motives" in mind. Its an interesting dynamic for sure. Now that I am older part of me says " its safe to be skinny" while another part Holds on tight to the fat and says that is my protection. I still feel really guilty when I eat. Trainers at the gym have told me that I dont eat enough and have too long a gap between meals. Of course when I do then eat, I pig out!! Its a vicious circle that Im hoping to work my way out of.
  • chazsucks
    chazsucks Posts: 170
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    i used to have problems with eating, I'd not eat for a couple of days, then I'd eat thousands of kcal's and vomit it all up. Then I'd not eat again for a few days. Well when I say not eat I used to have chewing gum etc.

    Anyway I lost tons of weight and I managed to keep it going for quite a long time, my sometimes when it got bad my periods would stop and there would be blood in my vomit.

    When I met my partner he helped me, I got slightly better but still not great. I used to eat a little more between binges.

    After 2 years with him I got pregnant with our first son, and thats when I started eating more with the help of my partner and the midwives. Its strange, like the more i ate the hungrier i was the next day and by the end of my pregnancy I had put on nearly 60lbs.

    Since then its gone up and up, then down a bit, then up a bit. I've had a few times when my eating has gotten a bit worrying again but i think of my children and my health and log on here and make myself eat healthily even though all i want to do is vomit

    its hard, and i think I'm always going to be this way. I think when you start eating you need to do it in a very control way. I wasn't used to eating, and I'm a very selective eater so I just ended up going completely the opposite way.
  • papate
    papate Posts: 67 Member
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    I was anorexic, about 20 years ago, got down very small, LOVED IT, but my father died, this and that, I gained a little, not to bad, but over the last 5 years I have ballooned and gain 75 from my normal weight to 100 from my anna days. So disgusting, how did I let that happen? Life took over instead of me I guess. but I have been good on very strict diet, lost 23 in firs 3 weeks, but when you have a ton to lose, comes over easier in the beginning I just want it OFF.
    I know I'm not eating enough calories according to their suggestion, but I figure, and everyone says, calories IN vs calories OUT. So that's what I'm guaging by.
    Good luck to you as well
  • zCarsAndCaloriesz
    zCarsAndCaloriesz Posts: 348
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    I went through this as well, and now I also have Hashimoto's, I've been curious as to if my eating disorder could have caused or increased my chances of getting hashimoto's/Hypothyroidism?
    Because before this, I was healthy, well minus the eating disorder.
  • suzieqcookie
    suzieqcookie Posts: 314 Member
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    i used to be anorexic. i would only eat once every 2 or 3 days and ONLY if the scale went down. I also walked 5-7 miles a day. I ended up with polycystic ovarian syndrome as a result. I gained over 130 lbs :(
  • PJ_73
    PJ_73 Posts: 331 Member
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    I have suffered with Bulimia intermittently over the past 10 years and have seen my weight yo-yo between 98lbs and 126lbs during this period.

    I finally got some help and I no longer allow it to control me and my eating habits, which is great. However, I have gained over 50lbs.

    I am now working on a healthy balance between a good, clean diet and regular exercise - seems to be working! And so far I haven't been tempted to binge and purge, so I think I am going in the right direction.

    I hope you can too, good luck.
  • chelseathinspired
    chelseathinspired Posts: 31 Member
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    Even obese people can have eating disorders. I'm obese, and I don't have BED [binge eating disorder], I have EDNOS. And it's very likely that someone can go from starving themselves, to over indulging. To be honest though, and not to upset anyone. But people never get over an eating disorder. Eating disorders are not just restricting and losing weight. It's a mentallity. Hense why it's called a mental disorder. It's never been about weight, with some exceptions. Just because you restricted doesn't mean you actually had one, so it's even more likely for a person to go from restricting as a teen to being obese as an adult. A lot of people who commented on this don't sound like they were actually diagnosed with and eating disorder. Just because you restricted doesn't mean you had one. It just means you restricted. A lot of people do that. Eating disorders have to do with your mind.
  • peachyxoxoxo
    peachyxoxoxo Posts: 1,178 Member
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    Yes, in high school, I suffered from anorexia, only to become a binger in my late twenties. This was an offshoot of surviving child molestation. However, as I recovered from the trauma of that experience, I find I suffered less and less from body image problems. I have finally, in the last five years or so, been able to take the bull by the horns and become healthier.

    It isn't as uncommon as one might think.

    Yeah, it's actually very common for one type of ED to turn into another.

    I lost 30+ lbs by eating very little during my junior year of high school. Never officially diagnosed as anorexic and I thought I was being healthy at the time, but looking back, clearly I wasn't. I maintained that low weight for a while (I was 5'7 and 114 lbs) then my senior year of high school I started binge eating. From then until my junior year of college, I managed to get up to 165 lbs at my highest. I also began to struggle with bulimia at that time.

    Now I've gone almost 40 days binge/purge free and I've lost 5 lbs in a healthy way over the last month. Doing Insanity and eating 1900 calories a day. I feel so much better about myself and I would like to believe I've overcome my disorder for good. I still think about food a lot and I often worry about accidentally bingeing, but it's becoming easier each day to say no to those urges.
  • SW8689
    SW8689 Posts: 22
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    I had, I guess still do to a certain extent but I like to think its under control an eating disorder. However I got very sick years ago with MS and had to take so many medicines and I felt I had to make sure I ate properly to be healthy, well all that did was pack on 15-20 lbs. so the bad habits started again and I had to make a decision to smarten up and eat right if I wanted to be healthy. I'm not saying that's what I did every day, and I'm not saying I'm purge free, but, for four months now I have eaten nothing but gluten free nutritional healthy food, and my weight should be within 8 lb of my goal, ( not ready for weigh in).

    Eating disorders, for any length of time totally screw up ones metabolism, it is best to take your time and eat five small nutritional meals, using this diary, it really helps.

    Just don't slip into old habits, it only makes it worse, especially as we get older..
  • MaraDiaz
    MaraDiaz Posts: 4,604 Member
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    I've been at war off an on with my body since I was a teenager. I cannot eat what I feel like eating ever again if I want to lose and then stay thin. I know this. My hunger impulses and the food choices I am inclined to naturally make will never let me be thin.

    And if I am not thin, I will die. It's as simple as that. I can't work here because I'm sick from the heat, so I have to move. I have no money to move, I have severe social phobia (it was only mild social phobia when I was thin), so I can't work at all, anywhere, until this weight is gone. I'll be lucky if I can work anymore when thin. Ever since I saw just how nasty people can be up close and personal, the last thing I've wanted to do is interact with them. Yet I can't get disability because I'm not certifiably nutty and they couldn't care less about the fact that my spine is messed up, either. My family cannot support me much longer.

    And as a side note, all those men and free spirited pals that used to chase me around when I was thin and working and always had a free meal ready or a place to crash for their bummy selves when I was in my twenties? Where are they now when I could use some help? Nowhere.

    So I have to get skinny, and get the heck out of this part of the country (preferably out of this country entirely) and find some kind of work. That's how desperate my situation has become. The reason ED is so common is that people with it rightly perceive that they're in danger of being ostracized, miserable, and impoverished if they become overweight. This society is a horror story for fat people. Am I obsessing my way back into an ED? Probably. But I'm out of other options.
  • onyxgirl17
    onyxgirl17 Posts: 1,721 Member
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    I stopped focusing on food, calories, etc. When I got married me and my husband ate out A LOT and there is where the pounds packed on. I never have been classified obese (Highest BMI 28) and when I had an eating disorder 10 years ago my BMI was 18-19. Not the best indicator, but I would like to have a BMI around 21-22.
  • weighlossforbaby
    weighlossforbaby Posts: 847 Member
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    Had an eating disorder in 2006 that put me at 125 lbs at 5'7 but after I got married in 2007 hubby always made sure I ate. I gained 50 lbs in 4.5 years that we've been married. I am trying to lose less than half what I gained for now.
  • thebrianmo
    thebrianmo Posts: 108
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    Just wondering if there is anyone out there that used to have an eating disorder but now are obese. In other words, it was one way now the other.

    I just want to share that eating disorders are not limited to those who are skinny or underweight or to those who make themselves throw up or whatever.

    I've been morbidly obese for a while now and it was not until I admitted that I have an eating disorder that I was able to make changes. Eating disorders come in many forms with many diagnoses. I actually diagnosed myself initially. Some like to call it "food addiction" but the proper and medical term is eating disorder. Any time a person does not eat a healthy, "normal" diet of foods for an extended period of time, it can be classified as an eating disorder.

    I don't mean for this to be like AA or anything... Hi I'm Brian and I have an eating disorder and that's why I maxed at out 430 and now I'm taking my life back through medical weight loss....

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