Getting To The Gym!

I'd tell your partner to suck it up and go.. and see what happens to the kids when you come back.

I'm not going to give relationship advice, but that doesn't stop me from giving him the ****ty dad of the year award. I'm a single Dad with sole custody of my THREE children. NOTHING is more important than spending time with them.

Then again, we'd be finding a sitter anyhow, because I'd be going to the gym WITH my wife.

In the end though, given your stated circumstances...you have no choice but to pay it and don't go, or go and jeapordize your children and relationship.

This is assuming your relationship is more important of course.

Good luck with all of this...but unless you give in to him and how he's manipulating you...I don't see it ending well at all.

Maybe you can hire a sitter to come in so you can go to the gym.

WOW. Not "allowed" to go??? I think he is insecure of you getting all fit, and dumping him.

This. I would also say tell him to suck it up (I do have children). But then again, this would tell my hubby I was serious - but hes an awesome dad. It has happend to me though, and that is what I have done.

Get a sitter if you have to, say its for x amount of children, and one "grown" male. LOL.

This situation sounds incredibly effed up.

Take the $65.00 a month and hire a divorce attorney!!! They're his kids and he won't be a father while you go to the gym? He'll lock them in they're rooms? What the hell are you still doing with this piece of garbage that calls himself a man????? :mad:

And, I would add one thing to what the previous responders said. The fact that you seem very accepting of this "allowed or not allowed to go" situation is utterly disturbing to me. A person who loves, cares about, and values another person (in other words, a healthy relationship) wants them to do things that make them happy and healthy. This man seems very controlling. It's great that you want to improve the health of your body, but you might want to start looking into ways to improve the health of your relationship as well.

I'd tell your partner to suck it up and go.. and see what happens to the kids when you come back.

Don't have any kids of your own...do you.

Nope, but I'm a teachers aid... So tech. I do have kids.

She said what he would likely do.. not what he would actually do.

Only way to find out is to go and see what happens in the end.

So...as a teachers aide...you would take a chance that your 'kids' might possibly come to harm so you could go do what you want to do?

I wish I knew where you worked...because they would certainly see a copy of this.

Can you take your children with you (childcare at the gym) or swap childcare with a friend? It could turn into every 2nd day if you can arrange it with a friend.
If your partner believes childcare consists of letting them scream endlessly in a locked room, I suggest never leaving them at home alone with your partner, as you would be an accessory to child abuse.

I'd tell your partner to suck it up and go.. and see what happens to the kids when you come back.

Don't have any kids of your own...do you.

Nope, but I'm a teachers aid... So tech. I do have kids.

She said what he would likely do.. not what he would actually do.

Only way to find out is to go and see what happens in the end.

So...as a teachers aide...you would take a chance that your 'kids' might possibly come to harm so you could go do what you want to do?

I wish I knew where you worked...because they would certainly see a copy of this.

No, I'm not saying that at all

At first he was ok with watching the kids and she could go, and now suddenly he's not and she's not allowed to go? Why could she trust him a month ago but she can't trust him now?

Sounds like there are deeper issues that need to be addressed besides childcare.

Also sounds like you are looking for a fight because you are clearly twisting what I say.

I'd tell your partner to suck it up and go.. and see what happens to the kids when you come back.

Don't have any kids of your own...do you.

Nope, but I'm a teachers aid... So tech. I do have kids.

She said what he would likely do.. not what he would actually do.

Only way to find out is to go and see what happens in the end.

So...as a teachers aide...you would take a chance that your 'kids' might possibly come to harm so you could go do what you want to do?

I wish I knew where you worked...because they would certainly see a copy of this.

No, I'm not saying that at all

At first he was ok with watching the kids and she could go, and now suddenly he's not and she's not allowed to go? Why could she trust him a month ago but she can't trust him now?

Sounds like there are deeper issues that need to be addressed besides childcare.

Also sounds like you are looking for a fight because you are clearly twisting what I say.

Because he was willing a month ago...and is willing no longer. Additionally...I didn't twist anything you said...what you said was go anyway...regardless of what might happen to the kids. I asked for clarification with the (admittedly sarcastic) comment about you not having children...since no parent worth the name would EVER just 'see what happens' with their kids safety.

Your clarification was:

She said what he would likely do.. not what he would actually do. Only way to find out is to go and see what happens in the end. 

Which still in no way suggests you care at all about children's safety.

So please...how did I twist what you said? If you can show me...I will gladly apologize.

By assuming that I what I suggested OP should do, is somehow a direct representation of what I would actually do.

Did I ever say that I would put my students in harms way? No. Did I ever tell OP that she should put her kids in harms way? No.

Maybe I shouldn't have worded it the way I did, but maybe if she stopped complying when he tells her she can't go, he'd man up and watch the kids like he's supposed to.

There has to be a reason as to why he suddenly isn't willing anymore.. and since OP hasn't said what is, I can only give suggestions based on what she puts.

I'd tell your partner to suck it up and go.. and see what happens to the kids when you come back.

Don't have any kids of your own...do you.

Nope, but I'm a teachers aid... So tech. I do have kids.

She said what he would likely do.. not what he would actually do.

Only way to find out is to go and see what happens in the end.

So...as a teachers aide...you would take a chance that your 'kids' might possibly come to harm so you could go do what you want to do?

I wish I knew where you worked...because they would certainly see a copy of this.

No, I'm not saying that at all

At first he was ok with watching the kids and she could go, and now suddenly he's not and she's not allowed to go? Why could she trust him a month ago but she can't trust him now?

Sounds like there are deeper issues that need to be addressed besides childcare.

Also sounds like you are looking for a fight because you are clearly twisting what I say.

Because he was willing a month ago...and is willing no longer. Additionally...I didn't twist anything you said...what you said was go anyway...regardless of what might happen to the kids. I asked for clarification with the (admittedly sarcastic) comment about you not having children...since no parent worth the name would EVER just 'see what happens' with their kids safety.

Your clarification was:

She said what he would likely do.. not what he would actually do. Only way to find out is to go and see what happens in the end. 

Which still in no way suggests you care at all about children's safety.

So please...how did I twist what you said? If you can show me...I will gladly apologize.

By assuming that I what I suggested OP should do, is somehow a direct representation of what I would actually do.

Did I ever say that I would put my students in harms way? No. Did I ever tell OP that she should put her kids in harms way? No.

Maybe I shouldn't have worded it the way I did, but maybe if she stopped complying when he tells her she can't go, he'd man up and watch the kids like he's supposed to.

There has to be a reason as to why he suddenly isn't willing anymore.. and since OP hasn't said what is, I can only give suggestions based on what she puts.

You would give someone advice that you wouldn't do yourself? Ahh, I forgot...this is the internet. Accountability is nil.

And yes, actually...you did tell the OP to 'likely' put her children in harms way. Your words, not mine.

Now, for the rest of it...I agree about her complying. Maybe she should tell him she's going to the gym, take the kids with her...and go do something else. Let him stew on that. There's a million things she can do, to be honest...including leave him if he doesn't become a respectable human being.

None of these were her question however. And your answer to her question...was to tell an 18yr old mother of however many, who is clearly having issues and is confused, to do something that could very well have harmed her children. My suggestion however, was the opposite of yours. She knows what she should do with her relationship...she doesn't need us to tell her that. But my response was to tell her that if she wants to keep her kids safe, and if her relationship is more important, she'll have to do what he says. The implication being that if not, she should leave.

THAT is why I took offense, and THAT is why I'm still commenting on your responses. You're defending a position (whether you meant to say what you did or not isn't relevant, you've been defending what you said...not what you meant for how many posts?) that is irresponsible at best...and could have ended up with children harmed very, very easily. Possibly worse.

I mean...do you EVER see the news?

I'd tell your partner to suck it up and go.. and see what happens to the kids when you come back.

Don't have any kids of your own...do you.

Nope, but I'm a teachers aid... So tech. I do have kids.

She said what he would likely do.. not what he would actually do.

Only way to find out is to go and see what happens in the end.

So...as a teachers aide...you would take a chance that your 'kids' might possibly come to harm so you could go do what you want to do?

I wish I knew where you worked...because they would certainly see a copy of this.

No, I'm not saying that at all

At first he was ok with watching the kids and she could go, and now suddenly he's not and she's not allowed to go? Why could she trust him a month ago but she can't trust him now?

Sounds like there are deeper issues that need to be addressed besides childcare.

Also sounds like you are looking for a fight because you are clearly twisting what I say.

Because he was willing a month ago...and is willing no longer. Additionally...I didn't twist anything you said...what you said was go anyway...regardless of what might happen to the kids. I asked for clarification with the (admittedly sarcastic) comment about you not having children...since no parent worth the name would EVER just 'see what happens' with their kids safety.

Your clarification was:

She said what he would likely do.. not what he would actually do. Only way to find out is to go and see what happens in the end. 

Which still in no way suggests you care at all about children's safety.

So please...how did I twist what you said? If you can show me...I will gladly apologize.

By assuming that I what I suggested OP should do, is somehow a direct representation of what I would actually do.

Did I ever say that I would put my students in harms way? No. Did I ever tell OP that she should put her kids in harms way? No.

Maybe I shouldn't have worded it the way I did, but maybe if she stopped complying when he tells her she can't go, he'd man up and watch the kids like he's supposed to.

There has to be a reason as to why he suddenly isn't willing anymore.. and since OP hasn't said what is, I can only give suggestions based on what she puts.

You would give someone advice that you wouldn't do yourself? Ahh, I forgot...this is the internet. Accountability is nil.

And yes, actually...you did tell the OP to 'likely' put her children in harms way. Your words, not mine.

Now, for the rest of it...I agree about her complying. Maybe she should tell him she's going to the gym, take the kids with her...and go do something else. Let him stew on that. There's a million things she can do, to be honest...including leave him if he doesn't become a respectable human being.

None of these were her question however. And your answer to her question...was to tell an 18yr old mother of however many, who is clearly having issues and is confused, to do something that could very well have harmed her children. My suggestion however, was the opposite of yours. She knows what she should do with her relationship...she doesn't need us to tell her that. But my response was to tell her that if she wants to keep her kids safe, and if her relationship is more important, she'll have to do what he says. The implication being that if not, she should leave.

THAT is why I took offense, and THAT is why I'm still commenting on your responses. You're defending a position (whether you meant to say what you did or not isn't relevant, you've been defending what you said...not what you meant for how many posts?) that is irresponsible at best...and could have ended up with children harmed very, very easily. Possibly worse.

I mean...do you EVER see the news?

Darling, I live near Chicago and work with under privileged children. Yes I see the news, and 95% of the time, my students are in the news for one thing or another.

I'm not trying to defend anything except myself. You assume that you know me and how I would act based on comments I made. You never asked for clarification on anything that I said, you just assumed that you knew what I meant and threatened my job because of it.

If you had maybe asked for clarification instead of just assuming this entire time, we wouldn't keep going round and round.

Seems like we agree on one point and one point only.. and thats about compliance.

Now can we please let this thread rest.. I think it's gone on long enough.