Depression and Motivation

that's a terrible thing to discover, OP, and i feel for you

i struggle with depression also, and i've found that the times i can barely motivate myself to get off the couch...are the times i really need to do that.

when i feel like crap, i do yoga. it relaxes me, puts me in a meditative state, and gives me something to focus on besides feeling like crap. and the boost afterwards helps clear up the depression.

find some sort of exercise to do that you really enjoy, whether it's yoga or a walk or a bike ride or something - that you can make yourself do, and that you can tell yourself, "i know if i do this i'm going to feel better." if you can learn to listen to yourself when you say "ok, self, time to do some yoga," that discipline can be applied to all other kinds of situations where you need it.

good luck, and take good care of yourself!

Aww. OP, I feel so bad for you. =(

I was depressed for the longest time with my family situation, and I let my weight get out of control. I know that it's SO difficult, but keep eating healthy. Turn your exercise into your therapy, not the food. When you start feeling down (and trust me, you need to do this as SOON as you start to feel that twinge of depression in your gut otherwise you won't), get up and do something. Don't sit still. Don't put it off. Even if it's just going for a 20 minute walk, DO something! Don't sit!

Keeping your head as healthy as possible will help you through everything. Yes, being sad is completely understandable, but don't let it turn into depression or anxiety. Walk, run, buy a punching bag, do whatever you can to keep from sitting still for too long. It'll keep your mind clear of too much negativity.

I hope everything goes alright for you. My heart goes out to you.

Maybe you need to talk to your DR if it is actual depression and not being "down" because of the situation.

Deleted.

I agree with those saying turn exercise into therapy.
I did that after I broke up with my boyfriend of three years (not the same, I know) and even though I'd still feel crushed having an hour to just channel all the emotions into a physical activity really helped.
Maybe join a fitness class where you don't have to be alone and are motivated by others.
Try a new activity to shake up your life - kickboxing, boxing, anything that's demanding physically.
However, I also urge you to be kind to yourself in this time.
Don't let weight gain get you down. It may happen but you know you can lose it.
You lost it once, you can lose it again
Sending my love!

I don't think I can add anything that you don't know or that the above posters haven't said, but just wanted to chime in support. That's a really, really crappy thing to discover (I would use a stronger word than crappy, but am not sure if I'm allowed). While I've never been in that situation, I do understand the cycle of depression and lack of motivation.

I like the idea of making small goals. Sometimes when I'm struggling, I commit to a 20 minute walk (you could even commit to less). If I feel like continuing, I continue (often). If I don't, I don't, but at least I tried.

I also like the idea of yoga. I love yoga. I think doing it outside your home might be nice if you can find a class or studio somewhere - might be more peaceful than how I can imagine your house currently feels.

One other idea: maybe take up a new activity that your husband DOESN'T do or that you never did together. It might help you feel independent and like you have some power. Things like bowling, golf, hiking, Zumba, etc.. Heck, if you just want to tackle the emotional and not the physical, even drawing, knitting, playing an instrument, etc.

Bottom line: I know that cycle all too well. It's hard to break, but once you do, in three months you will be glad that you started today!

OH man, I hear ya. I can't say I know what you're going through, but I have been in the pits before. I think you should use his eff up as motivation to kick some serious azz!! Beat the crap out of the heavy bag, do some tae boe, run until you drop! This is YOUR time!!! Don't let him and your hurts ruin all of your hard work!!!! :flowerforyou:
Know that all of us MFP peeps are loving you and lifting you up!!

Talk to the doctor about some natural supplements too. Omega-3's and something called n-acetyl-cysteine (just called NAC) are really good for mood disorders. And it's nice that they don't have the side effects of a prescription medication. Exercise is great but every little bit helps.

i feel really bad for you..
me and my husband have been trying to conceive for 6 years without success and used to stay so depressed because of this.. my husband is a doctor and doing his specialization and doesnot have much time for me either which would make coping with depression worse.. and nowadays he z posted in a city where i dont have many friends so not much social life as well.. but i have tried hard and overcome these depressive phases by mainly exercise.. even on the days i dont want to do anything but curl up in my bed and cry and just eat, i force myself to walk.. and i really feel much better after simple walk. i have been able to control my depression and mood swings with exercise..

Well, first - you give yourself permission to crawl into a hole and cry! Not forever, but you need to process some of this pain you're feeling. FEEL your feelings - you're allowed!

Then remember that no one is going to take care of you but you. In a year, will you want to run into him so he can eat his heart out because you are so effing amazing? You bet your ever slimming *kitten*!

I am not sure if it will help, but I like to work out hard and heavy when I am feeling down. I can NOT do long cardio or anything like that because my mind drifts and I dwell on what is bothering me. Instead, I push heavy weights or, as a poster said earlier, I kick or punch a heavy bag. If you can find a release at the gym (even if that is just a 40 minute escape from your own mind), you will probably find it easier to find the motivation to go.

Good luck!

Oh man, sounds like you are having a rough time. I've been in a "down" mood the past few days myself. Nothing that has to do with anything major just blah days. Anyway i hope you feel better soon. Make yourself feel better and show him what he gave up on. i know its easier said than done but you can do it. we are here to support you. They say exercising releases "happy hormones" so lets get to it and get happy. lol. If you need a friend to chat with feel free to add me.

run, I run (now anyway), my sister yoga's, I have friends that bike . . . what it is you do should depend on who you are, but you have to move and do something you like. I still crawl into a bag of candy, but I run until I'm raw. I run until whatever it is I leave as dust on the trail, I pick it back up on my way back but I run for that feeling of nothing but me and my feet and the clarity it all brings. The motivation is tough, but the seratonin (sp) is especially important to your mental health and well being. My BIL died a few weeks ago and that week I ran, the day of the funeral I ran. My active husband has been sitting and the hole has been getting bigger and bigger, so we had some serious talks about the importance of exercise when it comes to chemical balance in the brain and mood control. Not only that, I get the whole comfort food thing now, but you have to get the healthy stuff first and then the crap . . . food is just as important to mental health as movement.

You are at a branch in the road and you can either take all that energy and use it to be self destructive, or you can use it to heal yourself. Your marriage will shake out one way or another, but how are you supposed to make reasonable decisions while neglecting yourself? You can’t make good decisions about your emotional well being while you’re allowing yourself to sit in the mire.

The motivation can be impossible to come by, find a really supportive friend who will force you to put on those shorts and sneakers and get your move on.

Dang it. I'm sorry you're going through this. I imagine most of us have at one or another and we've all dealt with it differently. Counseling is a good start. Depression is a disease that can kill so don't mess around with it. Be honest with your counselor and also with your medical doctor.

That being said...I find it helps me to NOT look at the big picture. When I get down, instead of saying "oh I need to go exercise for an hour or two" I say to myself, "I need to get out of bed and wash my face". I know it sounds dumb but by setting goals in 5 minute increments really helps me. Even if all I did all day was get out of bed and wash my face, that was a goal I set and I achieved it. And when I can do two or three of those 5 minute goals, I give my self a treat...a new coat of polish on my toe nails, a fried egg sandwhich....something that makes me want to do even more of my 5 minute goals. Pretty soon I'm back to the big picture.

Unfortunately, you're the one that has to go through this so all any of us can do is support you. We've all got your back and we're all here for you.

This may seem an insensitive response but I promise, it's not.

I have "no worries" pills. AKA Xanax. When my emotions are running that heavy and hard and I'm losing control, I have to start taking the no worries pills.

I recommend finding a therapist that specializes more in the types of issues you are struggling with. My EAP connected me with a counselor that was experienced in ED as well as other issues I struggle with. He is the one that dubbed the Xanax as the "no worries" pill. I refused to take them except for the dentist and other things that made me nervous but he urged me to understand that there is no weakness there, when you need help and you accept that help.

Medication has helped me gain control of my bulimia and binge eating problems during high stress times. I'd also recommend making a mix CD with songs like "I Love Myself Today" by BIf Naked, and "U + Ur Hand" by Pink, blast it while driving down the highway...

I knowthis is not an easy time to see it but you are going to be okay, don't let this man's mistakes ruin the goodness you've made in your life. Don't let it encourage you not to care. Now is a great time to get yourself all hot and sexy and awesome and let him watch your tight, well-shaped *kitten* as you walk away to bigger and better things for yourself... If that's what you decide to do anyway.