Frustrated With Outside Opinions

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2

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  • Serah87
    Serah87 Posts: 5,481 Member
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    Carlos_421 wrote: »
    Sounds like half the threads here on MFP...

    Yep.
  • mbrown913
    mbrown913 Posts: 10 Member
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    Even though their advice is unsolicited, they're just looking out for you and trying to help
  • SLLRunner
    SLLRunner Posts: 12,943 Member
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    BrooklynApple88 wrote: »
    So, today I walked into my relative's home and someone asked me what I ate today. I said, "Pizza." So then I had to hear a whole speech about how I need to stay away from pizza because it's so fattening and greasy. Then I also had to hear about green juices, vegetable soup, and making homemade potato chips to "cut all the grease and fat out."

    I said, " Trust me, I'm doing fine. I made sure I had enough calories to enjoy a greasy slice of pizza." Then they went on about how I need to cut pizza out completely and eat fruits and vegetables. I need to drink this type of milk, cut out this, add this, this vegetable is good for the blood, no Chinese food, eat fast food once a month, blah, blah. I'm so annoyed. People are really uneducated about what it takes to lose weight. I loathe the restrictive attitude. If I ate like what they suggested, then I'd end up bored and unsuccessful. They noticed the 45 pounds I've lost in 8 months, but still give their unsolicited advice. Sigh. They just don't get it.

    Blah. It's none of their business. Tell them so in the words you are comfortable using. :)
  • WifiresGettingFit
    WifiresGettingFit Posts: 1,773 Member
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    The only opinion that matters is yours.

    I'm the type of person that I get tired of crap like that so I'm liable to say something and it probably will not come out all nice and polite.

    Also, my reply to "what did you eat today?" would have been "Food." and the subject gets changed. What I eat or don't eat is no one's business and is not up for a debate. I also don't have the patience for it.
  • earlnabby
    earlnabby Posts: 8,171 Member
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    WifiresGettingFit wrote: »
    The only opinion that matters is yours.

    I'm the type of person that I get tired of crap like that so I'm liable to say something and it probably will not come out all nice and polite.

    Also, my reply to "what did you eat today?" would have been "Food." and the subject gets changed. What I eat or don't eat is no one's business and is not up for a debate. I also don't have the patience for it.

    I'm the type of person who likes to divert if I am speaking to someone I know is a zealot. My answer to that question would have been "a meat and veggie pie".
  • 2011rocket3touring
    2011rocket3touring Posts: 1,346 Member
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    Here is a tip that I used to be a successful married guy (25 years)...
    Pretend your listening and think about anything else, nod appropriately say thank you.
    What your doing is obviously working and they are speaking from a position of ignorance.
  • Cutemesoon
    Cutemesoon Posts: 2,646 Member
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    CattOfTheGarage wrote: »
    "I see that what you're doing is succeeding. Let me tell you why it's wrong and you should do it some other way."

    Honestly, I'd only go down the "education" route if people are genuinely interested. If they're just lecturing you and it's getting up your nose, try and change the subject.

    If people haven't been successful with weight loss, what makes them think they are qualified to give you advice???Someone had the nerve to tell me that I should stop losing weight. They said they observed the way I eat, then proceed to tell me how I should eat. BTW, it was a guy and he looked about 6 months pregnant.
  • lemurcat12
    lemurcat12 Posts: 30,886 Member
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    jennifer_417 wrote: »
    This is the exact reason I never really talked about what I was doing to lose weight. Errbody got an opinion. I figured I'd let my results speak for themselves. But I realize that there are times when it's unavoidable, and those times I just nod and smile, and make noncommittal noises.

    Yep, this.

    I don't think I know anyone who would ask me what I ate and then say judgy things about it, but if I did I'd probably start asking them why they were so interested in what I ate or say "just food" or some such.
  • billglitch
    billglitch Posts: 538 Member
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    BrooklynApple88 wrote: »
    So, today I walked into my relative's home and someone asked me what I ate today. I said, "Pizza." So then I had to hear a whole speech about how I need to stay away from pizza because it's so fattening and greasy. Then I also had to hear about green juices, vegetable soup, and making homemade potato chips to "cut all the grease and fat out."

    I said, " Trust me, I'm doing fine. I made sure I had enough calories to enjoy a greasy slice of pizza." Then they went on about how I need to cut pizza out completely and eat fruits and vegetables. I need to drink this type of milk, cut out this, add this, this vegetable is good for the blood, no Chinese food, eat fast food once a month, blah, blah. I'm so annoyed. People are really uneducated about what it takes to lose weight. I loathe the restrictive attitude. If I ate like what they suggested, then I'd end up bored and unsuccessful. They noticed the 45 pounds I've lost in 8 months, but still give their unsolicited advice. Sigh. They just don't get it.

    i get your point...everybody knows better. it happens all the time. deep down they think they are helping. just keep doing what you are doing....and say thank you to the advice givers ;-)
  • healthykaitlin
    healthykaitlin Posts: 91 Member
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    My dad says the same thing when I tell him I've eaten bacon "Kaitlin! That's so high in fat! You won't lose weight if you eat too much fat." K dad. I just say "thanks for the advice!" It's hard to be rude in those situations because the advice is well-meaning & sometimes it's hard not to second guess yourself, but just stick with what you're doing.... The best is when you can say "I've lost weight & didn't give up pizza!"
  • RosieRose7673
    RosieRose7673 Posts: 438 Member
    edited May 2016
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    WifiresGettingFit wrote: »
    The only opinion that matters is yours.

    I'm the type of person that I get tired of crap like that so I'm liable to say something and it probably will not come out all nice and polite.

    Also, my reply to "what did you eat today?" would have been "Food." and the subject gets changed. What I eat or don't eat is no one's business and is not up for a debate. I also don't have the patience for it.

    I'm that type of person too! Some times when people kept trying to give me unsolicited advice and suggest many things, I'd let them speak and say what I had to say. They often disagreed and I would just end it by saying, "what I'm doing is working just fine. Let's move on."

    A few occasions, I had to physically leave the room because they would get so defensive about their weird fad diet and I didn't want to say "rude" things.

    Edit: I lost 70 lbs by this time last year. I'm maintaining and in great shape. I'll keep doing what I've been doing! :smile:
  • WJS_jeepster
    WJS_jeepster Posts: 224 Member
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    AnvilHead wrote: »
    When people think it's okay to rudely stick their noses in my business and try to tell me how to run my life, I think it's equally okay for me to rudely tell them to pound sand up their *kitten* and mind their own business in return. Fair is fair.

    an ex taught me the "pound sand" expression. It was the best thing to come out of that relationship. I say it (or think it at people) all the time. Unsolicited advice regarding my life often gets leads to a "pound sand" comment.

  • DebSozo
    DebSozo Posts: 2,578 Member
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    WifiresGettingFit wrote: »
    The only opinion that matters is yours.

    I'm the type of person that I get tired of crap like that so I'm liable to say something and it probably will not come out all nice and polite.

    Also, my reply to "what did you eat today?" would have been "Food." and the subject gets changed. What I eat or don't eat is no one's business and is not up for a debate. I also don't have the patience for it.

    "Food." Perfect. My mom would answer with noncommittal things to questions. That sounds like something she would say.

    For instance when I was a kid if I asked her, "Where are you going?" She would reply with, "Going crazy." Lol.
  • Moxie42
    Moxie42 Posts: 1,400 Member
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    healthykaitlin wrote: »
    My dad says the same thing when I tell him I've eaten bacon "Kaitlin! That's so high in fat! You won't lose weight if you eat too much fat." K dad. I just say "thanks for the advice!" It's hard to be rude in those situations because the advice is well-meaning & sometimes it's hard not to second guess yourself, but just stick with what you're doing.... The best is when you can say "I've lost weight & didn't give up pizza!"

    This is such a great way to address the situation! Sometimes saying "none of your business" is easier said than done, and it can be a little rude if you're talking to family or friends who might honestly be trying to help. There are ways to divert those kinds of questions in a more polite way (like the above).

    I wish I could say I've never lied about what I eat but with certain people I do, like my mom. She's definitely of the mindset that I "can't" eat all sorts of things, but I also understand her viewpoint because she knows how many times I've failed as losing weight. So when she asks what I had for dinner, I might say "Chicken and veggies" when the actual answer is "BBQ chicken pizza." It just prevents any judgmental comments and awkwardness/ hurt feelings/ arguments as a result.

    With most people I just say "Different things work for different people. For me, moderating works better than restricting and banning." Plus phrasing it that way, idk, I guess maybe it sounds like a more well-informed comment than "I can eat whatever I want!" If I use words like "moderation" and "restriction" people seem to have less comments afterwards than if I say something that's more defensive or if I totally blow them off.

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