The 2 sides to MFP

cal_73

There is MFP the application and MFP the forum. These are two different things. You can easily just use the application and find a different forum to visit. Not using the app because of the forum is just a pathetic excuse.

sarahmatters

Oh dear. This all got very negative didn't it! I really dislike how ugly people get over the slightest thing. I can understand why that thread put your friend off but there is some truth in that perhaps he subconsciously looked for what might put him off (an understandable mindest at the start of a weightloss journey though)

I also tell my friends about the site and actually was totally unaware of that side of it unless I saw this thred in the recent posts. Another negative side I have glimpsed myself though is where people who it seems might have under eating habits encourage and reinforce eachother (in a way it's like a pro-ana website in places) that's a negative trigger for me but I just unfriended some people who I felt were not conducive to the experience I wanted to have. If what they are doing fulfills them then that's OK. I just don't need to be involved.

But I also agree in freedom of speech and everyone has a right to say what they like no matter how obtuse, unconstructive or just plain idotic it may seem to others: "I may not believe in what you say but I would die for your right to say it"-Voltaire. Sadly yes that does have to include perma-tan from deadend townsville's vacuous, pointless, image-obsessed commentary :P I think it should be moderated if it's an offensive view expressed in the wrong forum but it doesn't seem that's true here.

I think you should let your friend know that as with everything MFP is what you want it to be. Just as your bodyshape and image can be what you want it to be. Don't show him this thread (!) but do continue to encourage and try to inspire him. That is a worthwhile and noble pursuit. It would appear that ChitChat probably isn't. But horses for courses and all that. If that's what motivates people to be fit and healthy who are we to judge?!

mmarcy7

I just figure there is the "singles" posts on mfp and then the rest of us. I've been married for 13 yrs and have no interest in any of that rate the person above you stuff. So, I ignore it and move along and see if there is a post I can relate to. Kind of annoying some days when every post seems to be like that, but I just figure those people are in a different stage of life than me, no big deal.

Wonderob

This place is what we make of it. I don't understand why your friend chose to start out looking in Chit-Chat when his other choices were things like Success Stories and Motivation, or even General Diet and Weight Loss Help.

I explained that - he clicked on Recent posts - most were from chit chat

Maybe he wasn't ready to lose weight, maybe he was looking for an excuse, maybe he doesn't want to help himself, maybe he is just too lazy or too greedy. I dunno. Just seems a shame that the first impression he got of a health & fitness site - one that COULD have helped him, was the bit of fun, no harm, lust-fueled part of MFP!

twinmom14ek

I'm starting to think he is right not to join

Can I just point out that a lot of the posters here that are giving you crap are the same ones that take part in the chit-chat threads that you were questioning? They felt attacked, and they're hitting back. It's not necessarily the mature response, but not everyone in life is mature. That said, some of them can be pretty d@mn amusing when they post on nonsensical topics--I'm a sucker for some good sarcasm...in the right forum. If people don't want to be supportive, they should stay out of the Motivation and Support section (it works both ways, right?)

I do tend to agree with some of their points, however indelicately stated they might be. If your friend truly wanted to lose weight, he'd figure out how to filter through all the crap. As much as we may want people we care about to embrace things that could improve their lives, it's ultimately in their hands. Hopefully he'll find whatever he needs to be happy, with or without MFP.

BondBomb

This place is what we make of it. I don't understand why your friend chose to start out looking in Chit-Chat when his other choices were things like Success Stories and Motivation, or even General Diet and Weight Loss Help.

I explained that - he clicked on Recent posts - most were from chit chat

Maybe he wasn't ready to lose weight, maybe he was looking for an excuse, maybe he doesn't want to help himself, maybe he is just too lazy or too greedy. I dunno. Just seems a shame that the first impression he got of a health & fitness site - one that COULD have helped him, was the bit of fun, no harm, lust-fueled part of MFP!

So what happens to the next person that decides to join the site looking for motivation and support and just find people whining about what they don't like about MFP? I guess they could technically blame you for creating a first impression of excuses and complaining.

Wonderob

Why do you think there is something wrong with me for pointing out the difference between the mentality of those on the main groups and those on the 'rate me' threads?

I don't think that you can make a broad sweeping generalization on the "mentality" of everyone who participates in what is just a fun thread.

Again, some people- they are just here to try and score someone.

The vast majority of us- just like to have fun once in awhile. Doesn't mean I am a 16 y.o. looking to hook up with a dude on this site because I decide to comment in a thread of that nature.

I'm not saying you shouldn't have fun on the chit chat, of course you should. Im also not saying that there shouldn't be those type of posts - rate me etc

All Im saying is that as a first impression - MFP shouldnt be as he saw it - not sure what the answer is though

If I visited a cycling forum and the first few topics were: Name your sexiest cyclist. Best shorts that make your bum look nice. Do cyclists make better lovers? etc, then I would be looking for another cycling forum regardless of how good that one might be. If those topics were sepearte from the main part of the cycle forum then that would be better wouldnt it?

If someone coming onto MFP did the same then they would be missing out on a real good site

I have an solution to your problem.
You and your friend should create your own fitness site and it can operate around the guidelines that you create.

You're welcome!:flowerforyou:

It's not my problem, I come on here, get good advice, have a laugh, have some arguments, take away some good tips and enjoy using it. I avoid the parts I don't like. I haven't created any guidelines nor do I wish to

doorki

This place is what we make of it. I don't understand why your friend chose to start out looking in Chit-Chat when his other choices were things like Success Stories and Motivation, or even General Diet and Weight Loss Help.

I explained that - he clicked on Recent posts - most were from chit chat

Maybe he wasn't ready to lose weight, maybe he was looking for an excuse, maybe he doesn't want to help himself, maybe he is just too lazy or too greedy. I dunno. Just seems a shame that the first impression he got of a health & fitness site - one that COULD have helped him, was the bit of fun, no harm, lust-fueled part of MFP!

It seems as though you should have guided him to the part that would help him.

Wonderob

This place is what we make of it. I don't understand why your friend chose to start out looking in Chit-Chat when his other choices were things like Success Stories and Motivation, or even General Diet and Weight Loss Help.

I explained that - he clicked on Recent posts - most were from chit chat

Maybe he wasn't ready to lose weight, maybe he was looking for an excuse, maybe he doesn't want to help himself, maybe he is just too lazy or too greedy. I dunno. Just seems a shame that the first impression he got of a health & fitness site - one that COULD have helped him, was the bit of fun, no harm, lust-fueled part of MFP!

So what happens to the next person that decides to join the site looking for motivation and support and just find people whining about what they don't like about MFP? I guess they could technically blame you for creating a first impression of excuses and complaining.

Exactly my point

I made it clear that I'm not against any of these threads - not against the 'rate me' threads, or the moaning threads, or any of them to be honest. I just think that there should be a way of keeping them apart from the main site.

cmcollins001

This place is what we make of it. I don't understand why your friend chose to start out looking in Chit-Chat when his other choices were things like Success Stories and Motivation, or even General Diet and Weight Loss Help.

I explained that - he clicked on Recent posts - most were from chit chat

Maybe he wasn't ready to lose weight, maybe he was looking for an excuse, maybe he doesn't want to help himself, maybe he is just too lazy or too greedy. I dunno. Just seems a shame that the first impression he got of a health & fitness site - one that COULD have helped him, was the bit of fun, no harm, lust-fueled part of MFP!

Having him use the phone app or just the calorie/exercise logging application portion of the website only for a while is probably the best advice given so far.

I started here because of my wife...and before long I had 4 people in my office sign up and are now my friends. There is accountability and encouragement among us. I'm probably the one that is most active in the forums, the others have not interest in them.

If he decides to actually track what he's eating and start exercising and really starts to lose some pounds, then he can see the benefit of MFP and be more open to searching for motivation from the forum part of MFP or if not here, then somewhere else. The main thing is, he is working on making progress.

If he's not interested in even tracking his calories and exercise, and being honest with himself and you and whoever else he has on here as friends, then he's not interested in losing weight and not ready yet. And if that's the case, then the stuff he read on the forums was just an excuse.

Wonderob

This place is what we make of it. I don't understand why your friend chose to start out looking in Chit-Chat when his other choices were things like Success Stories and Motivation, or even General Diet and Weight Loss Help.

I explained that - he clicked on Recent posts - most were from chit chat

Maybe he wasn't ready to lose weight, maybe he was looking for an excuse, maybe he doesn't want to help himself, maybe he is just too lazy or too greedy. I dunno. Just seems a shame that the first impression he got of a health & fitness site - one that COULD have helped him, was the bit of fun, no harm, lust-fueled part of MFP!

It seems as though you should have guided him to the part that would help him.

Well I did eventually, seems he wasn't interested by then

Tobi1013

The problem isn't those threads, or topics, or that they get so much play on MFP...the problem is that someone made the "effort" to log into MFP, found those threads, then got discouraged. It has nothing to do with the threads themselves, nor does it have anything to do with those who participated in those threads, the problem lays squarely on the shoulders of the person who got upset about them.

Self conscience or not, if you're going to let something that was posted on the internet, in a section you never have to visit unless you want to visit, if you let that deter you...then you weren't serious to begin with. I have met and know too many people with the "I can't" or "I tried, but it didn't work for me" attitude that want to complain and whine about their weight or situation, but never want to do anything about it that goes beyond taking some magic pill. The only true motivation a person needs is themselves, because without first believing in yourself, you won't believe what anyone else says either. You need to want to be motivated or else it's all in vain.

Veteran: You want to read the forum?
Noob: I think I'm entitled.
Veteran: You want to read the forums?
Noob: I want motivation!!
Veteran: You CAN'T HANDLE THE MOTIVATION!! We live on a site that has fit people. And most of those fit people have worked hard to get where they are. They want to be known as sexy! Who's gonna tell them their sexy? You? They have a greater opinion of themselves than you can possibly imagine...they worked hard to get where they are. The cried, they poured sweat, they fasted, they ate more to weigh less, they cut calories. The truth is, they know their BMR and their TDEE, they know the dedication it takes to lose 100 lbs and feel good about who they are. You don't want the motivation, because deep down you know those magic pill infomercials are solid crap, and you want ripped, you NEED ripped abs, and you know there's only one way to get them. Those Chit-Chat people use words like sexy, cute, hotness because they've earned it. You use them as way to cop out. They neither have the time, nor the inclination to put forth effort to help motivate someone who is looking for an excuse to stay un-motivated. They would rather you log out and move on. Otherwise, I suggest you dig deep down, realize that you want to lose the weight, find the motivational threads, log your calories, lift some weights and jump on a treadmill and thank MFP for allowing me to be accountable to myself and to others.


When you decide to get serious about something, then you will let nothing stand in the way of your goal.

If you believe you can't do something, then you're probably right.

Post on Mr. and Mrs. Hotness, keep those threads going Ms. Firm Butt and Mr. Cut Abs... because one day, one day soon...I will be among you....oh yes...one day MFP will be writing long blogs about my awesomeness, but for the time being, I will toot my own horn, because I am worthy of some tootage! Ok...not sure that came out as good in print as it did in my head.

Edited to say that I apparently am WAY bored at work and need to find something to do.

You completely win the internet today. Srsly.

Becoming_A_Butterfly

I love MFP and am excited to have found it. I have absolutely no use for the Chit-Chat part of the forum though! If someone is going to judge all of MFP based on the Chit-Chat thread, then he gave up way too easily.

To avoid the infestation of Chit Chat threads, just click on Home instead of Recent Posts, and go to specific, weight-loss related and motivating threads instead of mindless drivel and giggly chatter.

I pick and choose what works for me on here: take what I like, leave the rest.

sarahmatters

Blah- the forums mostly turn into fights......As a member for 2.5 years, I have noticed a shift in the forums. When I first started, the MFP forums were a lot more positive, less arguing, less trolling, and more of the health/fitness, nutrition, success stories, ect. Chit-chat section has taken over. I'm not saying its bad- I have even posted in there once in a while when I'm bored, but don't feel it is my main purpose while using the site. I usually don't use the forums anymore if I have questions- I will research online, or ask my friends because of the few people who have nothing better to do than stir up something. I guess as a member of this site, I try to be positive, encouraging, and a good role model to others who have just started this journey.

THIS

eduardo_d

Meh. I find these message boards to be a diversion, only. They have nothing to do with any success I have had or will have.

Everyone is different. MFP works for me because of my excellent pals and the quality of the iPhone app. For others, the message boards keep them coming back.

There are trolls everywhere on the web and that will always be the case. Your friend shouldn't make those his excuse for not trying.

SurfinBird1981

I just think that there should be a way of keeping them apart from the main site.

But they are kept away! They have their own forum and it's cleverly named so that you know that it is an "off topic" forum.

Wonderob

I love MFP and am excited to have found it. I have absolutely no use for the Chit-Chat part of the forum though! If someone is going to judge all of MFP based on the Chit-Chat thread, then he gave up way too easily.

To avoid the infestation of Chit Chat threads, just click on Home instead of Recent Posts, and go to specific, weight-loss related and motivating threads instead of mindless drivel and giggly chatter.

I pick and choose what works for me on here: take what I like, leave the rest.

Yeah that's exactly what I do. Recent posts was a bad idea!

yoovie

Well since he was the one that went straight the chit chat fun and games section, obviously he isnt serious about this stuff either. now, had he gone to the Exercise or Nutrition end he would have found more helpful areas.

You cant go to Target, walk to the toy section then leave because that store was obviously built just for children- thats just... not very bright.

And when you are used to running around the serious parts of the forums today wading endlessly through excuses, laziness and plain old bullcrap- just to try to find the shiny ones who are really trying to change and want your help - sometimes you need to take a break and go to the chit chat thread and talk about your favorite movie line and see if anyone else remembers it too.

Oh and also- never tell anyone that somewhere on the internet is all equal and nonjudgmental cause you're going to be proven wrong.

Mellie289

This place is what we make of it. I don't understand why your friend chose to start out looking in Chit-Chat when his other choices were things like Success Stories and Motivation, or even General Diet and Weight Loss Help.

I explained that - he clicked on Recent posts - most were from chit chat

Maybe he wasn't ready to lose weight, maybe he was looking for an excuse, maybe he doesn't want to help himself, maybe he is just too lazy or too greedy. I dunno. Just seems a shame that the first impression he got of a health & fitness site - one that COULD have helped him, was the bit of fun, no harm, lust-fueled part of MFP!

Yes, I saw that you said that and I'm not buying the excuse. Whenever I have looked at Recent Posts, there is a mix of posts from the different boards (if I'm using those terms correctly). I have never seen a list of Recent Posts that were all from Chit-Chat. Maybe I'm too much of a skeptic, but I just don't believe your friend saw a list of Recent Posts that had nothing represented from Motivation and Support, Success Stories, Food and Nutrition, Fitness and Exercise or General Dieting and Weight Loss Help. I think your friend latched onto one thread that was off-topic in a list of other alternatives and went to the Chit-Chat board and saw all those listed. Those threads aren't strictly dealing with how men look - many are also judging women!

I hope your friend will be reasonable and give the other boards a chance. This place is what everyone makes of it for themselves. I could get upset about all the hot women here and the Chit-Chat subjects, or I could be inspired by what people have accomplished to get there. I choose the latter because I'm not going to make excuses for why I am unhappy with being overweight. Being unhappy about your weight isn't the fault of other people who are thin and fit. He needs to take more personal responsibility for where he is to turn himself around, I think. It doesn't sound like he's ready to lose weight, but maybe if you can convince him to have a look at the Success Stories, he can find the inspiration to change his way of thinking.

Wonderob

I just think that there should be a way of keeping them apart from the main site.

But they are kept away! They have their own forum and it's cleverly named so that you know that it is an "off topic" forum.

Yeah I know but seems like the recent posts section was a too-easy short cut to the off topics