The 2 sides to MFP

I was praising MFP to a friend the other day, explaining how good it was and how useful I had found it (He had noticed that I had lost weight and asked me about it), especially the support from everyone on these forums. He is very overweight and so self concious that he is reluctant to go to the gym, or even to weight watchers etc.

I explained that the ethic on MFP was that nobody judges and that everyone is equal including the very overweight - motivating stuff!

So he takes the mouse and clicks around the site. This is where it gets awkward. Clicks on 'Recent Posts' then on Chit Chat where most of the recent posts seemed to be from. here's what he saw:

Rate the person above you

What's sexy about the person above you?

The person above - part 4

Dear attractive men over 30

Who is your celebrity crush

Cutest thing about the person above you - part 7

Ladies, who would you rather have a one night stand with?

Hotest guy on MFP

etc etc

It was a little embarrassing to be honest. Seemed all that anyone was interested in on that side of MFP was how men look. I'm not overweight but I get an inferiority complex on there! - I can only imagine how someone with self-worth issues must feel! My friend went from excited and motivated, to crest-fallen and resigned in just a few clicks!

Polar opposites:
The support, advice, motivation of most of the MFP groups. Everyone is equal
The lustful, frenzied, man-crazy posts on Chit chat, where how someone looks is the only thing that seems to matter. You're rated on how sexy you look

I subscribe to the POV that if you don't like something, don't look, so I'm not suggesting that people shouldnt write what they want; just seems a pity to me that this part of MFP is inextricably linked to everything else.
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Replies

  • Treesy72
    Treesy72 Posts: 230
    I totally agree those threads are super stupid but that's why I don't click on them. You have to remember that there are a lot of teens on the site and lets face it when you're young all you think about is the opposite sex and how hot they may think you are. So I suppose let them have their fun, it doesn't hurt anyone.
  • Wonderob
    Wonderob Posts: 1,372 Member
    I totally agree those threads are super stupid but that's why I don't click on them. You have to remember that there are a lot of teens on the site and lets face it when you're young all you think about is the opposite sex and how hot they may think you are. So I suppose let them have their fun, it doesn't hurt anyone.

    True - doesnt hurt anyone. Does de-value the credibilty of MFP in some way though.
  • You are so right. I never read chit chat. Just one look at rhe subjects was enough for me to realise it was not why I started using MFP.
  • Bob314159
    Bob314159 Posts: 1,178 Member
    There are people here who either have a fake profile and pictures, and are not here to lose weight and treat MFP as a dating site.

    When I see a guy with a muscular trimmed body and a lot of "friends" - it makes my wonder if its really him, or he really looks like me and is just collecting groupies.
  • KALMdown
    KALMdown Posts: 211 Member
    I don't think I've ever read a post from chit chat. I hope you can convince your friend to check out MFP one more time. Show him this post!
  • I am pretty sure they must all be of a certain age! i am 28 and would never dream of commenting on such a thread!! i only get involved in adult conversations - (not of the xxx nature!!!!)

    Its not even worth looking at some of those stupid threads!

    He can add me as a friend as i am not a mean girl!
    x
  • wannabesexymama
    wannabesexymama Posts: 367 Member
    You are so right. I never read chit chat. Just one look at rhe subjects was enough for me to realise it was not why I started using MFP.

    Tell him to come back and just stay away from the chit chat! We are not that bad!! I know lots of women on here that are not going to judge and lots of men willing to help him find his nitch and if he doesnt feel comfy being out of the house to work out there are lots of things in the support parts that explain you can use simple can goods as weights and so on! Im still not that comfy being in the gym but I also know that no one is really judging me there since I go to the YMCA gym here and slot of them were or are in the same boat I am! Everyone has been very friendly and I havent had anyone look at me like Im a foreign thing lol regular gyms I have felt like that but not at our Y which is NICE!!!
  • Wonderob
    Wonderob Posts: 1,372 Member
    I don't think I've ever read a post from chit chat. I hope you can convince your friend to check out MFP one more time. Show him this post!

    Yeah we chatted for a while. It's a whole other issue about how much you should try and 'push' someone into dieting/keeping fit; so basically I just told him how good MFP was (In the main!) and I guess it's up to him now. I left it at "MFP is singularly the best tool I have ever used for my health"
  • wwk10
    wwk10 Posts: 244 Member
    There is narcissm on MFP.
    But, I think it is also a helpful tool to motivate and encourage.
    I am guilty too.
    I never thought once about how my back looked.
    A year ago I would have thought you were the most vain person in the world if you even thought about how your back looked.

    Turns out back fat was a motivator for me.
    Months later in a "look how awesome my back looks" thread I started wondering about my back.
    Motivated me from doing 1 palm in close chin up to now I cant do 7 that way and from 0 to 3 for wide grip palm out pull up.

    Not necessarily bad.
  • luvhandles74
    luvhandles74 Posts: 85 Member
    I never even look at the chit chat posts. People should be able to communicate in whatever way they like I suppose, I don't play though. I have never based a relationship on the way a person looks, for me the most attractive part of a man is his brain! I'm a bit of a dork though so perhaps my oppinion doesn't count!

    It really is a shame that your firend was turned off by this section of the boards, I hope he decides to give it another try. There are many of us here that are not cyber tramps and looking to get healthy so just point him in this direction!
  • gshoemaker06
    gshoemaker06 Posts: 264 Member

    I explained that the ethic on MFP was that nobody judges and that everyone is equal including the very overweight - motivating stuff!

    Ha! Good one!
  • richx83
    richx83 Posts: 334 Member
    definitely two sides here, the forums are where everyone hangs out, like in the playground at school, then there are the people you actually want to know and talk to and help and get help from (your friends list)

    Get him to sign up and send me over a friend request :drinker:
  • ErinBeth7
    ErinBeth7 Posts: 1,625 Member
    I don't post in those threads. How boring? I find them kind of childish, but if someone wants to rate some and be noticed, then go for it. I agree, if you don't like it, you don't have to look at it.
  • Martucha123
    Martucha123 Posts: 1,093 Member
    wtf is wrong with you OP??
    and others.

    so if somebody came here went from fat to ripped they have to leave the page cose they are too good looking now?
    this is chit chat section it supposed to be for fun
    and yes, we are getting hotter in the process so we feel sexier so we want to rate and be rated
    what is wrong with that?

    it's not myfatpal it's myfitnesspal for people who want to get fit and SURPRISE for people who are fit
  • Faintgreeneyes
    Faintgreeneyes Posts: 730 Member
    Here is also another way to look at this.

    The chit-chat sections is a place for people to have fun, blow off steam, joke around. So a lot of those thread titles, are just being being funny, and trying to lighten to mood up.

    Are some people on here creepy and looking to use this as a dating site? Of course. You will run into that on most social media type sites on the internet these days. The point is to find and make friends with people who are like minded and will help you along the journey.

    I know that I have commented on threads in the chit chat section. That doesn't mean that I am not motivated about losing weight, or using this site for dating purposes. It also doesn't mean that I am not helpful or want to help motivate others to lose weight. We all need to let off steam once in awhile.

    Tell your friend to come back and connect with people who can help him, and have him stay out of the forums for now if seeing titles like that offend or makes him uncomfortable.
  • Railr0aderTony
    Railr0aderTony Posts: 6,804 Member
    I agree there are two sides and honestly I do check out the Chit chat forms, I can not get on facebook at work so it is a great way to kill some extra time, there are games and other things besides the meat market. but one this for sure, MFP is a great tool to get fit or lose weight.
  • Pedalpush
    Pedalpush Posts: 246 Member
    The site is what you make of it. The only part I take seriously is my food and exercise diary. That is why I am here. I get a huge return on the accountability factor. I don't participate too much on the forums, but if a subject catches my eye, I'll peek.

    As you can see, I do like to have my flirty fun, but that it is what I make it. If you don't like it. Don't look.

    I just want everyone to be happy and healthy on his/her respective journeys. I wish all of you the best of luck.
  • loserbaby84
    loserbaby84 Posts: 241 Member
    You're always going to have shallow people. The more people there are in "one space" the more likely to have losers like this posting stuff to make someone else feel bad about themselves...

    You CHOOSE to ignore this junk!! Anddd, YOU'RE HERE TO BETTER YOURSELF!!

    Personally, joining this site was the best thing I could have ever done for myself. Make sure you urge your friend to see the positive things about MFP.

    Cheers!
  • indisguise
    indisguise Posts: 235
    I mostly avoid the Chit Chat forum myself... You should have redirected him to Success Stories, Food and Nutrition, Motivation and Support - as well as how handy the food database is.
  • acfkaren
    acfkaren Posts: 60 Member
    Aw bless him! Suggest he gives it a go for 4 weeks and see how he feels after that. And he (and you) are more than welcome to add me as a friend! :happy: