The 2 sides to MFP
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I don't post in those threads. How boring? I find them kind of childish, but if someone wants to rate some and be noticed, then go for it. I agree, if you don't like it, you don't have to look at it.
I agree with you ErinBeth!
I think they are extremely childish. it's definitely not just teeny boppers and 20 somethings posting in there, though. LOL
I will say this... it's very difficult, at least for me, not to click on those stupid posts... and then boom... demotivated. I get both sides.0 -
Why do you think there is something wrong with me for pointing out the difference between the mentality of those on the main groups and those on the 'rate me' threads?
I don't think that you can make a broad sweeping generalization on the "mentality" of everyone who participates in what is just a fun thread.
Again, some people- they are just here to try and score someone.
The vast majority of us- just like to have fun once in awhile. Doesn't mean I am a 16 y.o. looking to hook up with a dude on this site because I decide to comment in a thread of that nature.0 -
THIS^^^^^I mostly avoid the Chit Chat forum myself... You should have redirected him to Success Stories, Food and Nutrition, Motivation and Support - as well as how handy the food database is.
I stay away from most of the posts, too. I don't ever post a public question because there are too many that just rip your question apart and some very nastily... Basically this is a great site. If a post subject doesn't interest a person, don't go there. Have your friend, friend request me. I love helping others reach their goals and even tho I had reached my goal long ago, it helps to keep me motivated and on track, too. This is not a diet. For me it will always be a lifelong journey.0 -
I post a lot (more than I should) and I have never felt the need to post in any of those threads. I barely notice them. If that's all you want to focus on, that's your problem.0
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This is one of the reasons I don’t post pics on here (the other being this is my first real foray into online and I have some of my employees on here). I am a reasonably attractive man, decent shape, widower, good father, good job and I ride rodeo. I don’t have self esteem probs. However look at how these threads work going each way about attractiveness. A site devoted to positive encouragement and getting healthy judges everyone on looks. That is sad and counterproductive I am also a very traditional guy. I believe in marriage, and keep passion between to people. But almost everyone constantly posts about sex. I can understand good natured flirting but I see so much raunchy stuff and so much same gender sexual talk its unreal. I don’t judge anyone on it, or complain or even delete people for it but it sure disturbs me. I pretty much think I am too old fashioned for this site and that’s a shame. I wonder how many just delete over these issues.0
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OP... I blame you for telling him MFP is all sunshine and roses in the first place. And for claiming the chit chat forum DEVALUES MFP. You, sir, are ridiculous for missing... reality.
Hey come on - I'm going to try and 'sell' something to him by saying "Yeah it's ok, plenty of annoying know-it-alls, lots of supeficial people, many many trolls, but filter that and there's loads of great stuff too"?
Of course whilst I'm extolling the virtues of MFP, I'm going to paint it in only a good light. My point was that by coincidence or other - every message seemed to be just the opposite of what he wanted to see0 -
10!
oh wait, wrong thread...my bad.0 -
I was praising MFP to a friend the other day, explaining how good it was and how useful I had found it (He had noticed that I had lost weight and asked me about it), especially the support from everyone on these forums. He is very overweight and so self concious that he is reluctant to go to the gym, or even to weight watchers etc. I explained that the ethic on MFP was that nobody judges and that everyone is equal including the very overweight - motivating stuff!
It's a judgement free zone... for women.
This is an unfortunate problem. IMO, the "Recent Forums" topics that comes up in your HOME PAGE should be free of the Chit-Chat section by default. It's not enough to avoid clicking, since the topics are inserted into your home page.
Or, you could advise him just to use the mobile apps, which don't do that.0 -
I post a lot (more than I should) and I have never felt the need to post in any of those threads. I barely notice them. If that's all you want to focus on, that's your problem.
Whose problem? Not mine - If I don't want to see them, I don't look
I'm just thinking of the first impression of MFP that my friend, and possibly many others, see0 -
I can understand both sides. I have participated in these silly threads before. Some want to be told they look great, which I don't think is a problem. Good for them that they are becoming fit and want a little reassurance on how they look. We are all shallow at times.
I don't see a problem with it as long as it is in the appropriate section. All these people participate willingly and as long as it is not hurting anyone or being malicious I say let them have their fun.0 -
Read this argument, it gets made here all the time. Tell me how much sense it makes.
"I skipped the Fitness/Exercise, Motivation/Support, Nutrition sections of the forums. I headed right for Chit Chat, Fun & Games. No one in there was talking about fitness or nutrtition!! It was all frivolous! What is wrong with this site??"
The problem is not MFP. The problem is a lack of basic intelligence from some of it's users.0 -
Here is also another way to look at this.
The chit-chat sections is a place for people to have fun, blow off steam, joke around. So a lot of those thread titles, are just being being funny, and trying to lighten to mood up.
Are some people on here creepy and looking to use this as a dating site? Of course. You will run into that on most social media type sites on the internet these days. The point is to find and make friends with people who are like minded and will help you along the journey.
I know that I have commented on threads in the chit chat section. That doesn't mean that I am not motivated about losing weight, or using this site for dating purposes. It also doesn't mean that I am not helpful or want to help motivate others to lose weight. We all need to let off steam once in awhile.
Tell your friend to come back and connect with people who can help him, and have him stay out of the forums for now if seeing titles like that offend or makes him uncomfortable.
This ^^0 -
Personally, I don't go to that section. But it doesn't bother me that there is a chit-chat section. It's to be expected.0
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I guess I'm confused what someone would think they would see on any website in a forum called "Chit Chat, Fun and Games".
If you are here to lose weight and make changes and that is IT...there are what...8-10 other forums SPECIFICALLY for that. Those are the places that should be highlighted. BUT....that one forum with random non related WL threads doesn't deserve to be crapped on just because others don't like it or can't handle it. We are all going the same journey, though maybe taking different paths.0 -
You should mention to your friend that the "ratings" are total BS anyway. I've never seen under a 9. I swear. I'm sure it makes a lot of people feel good too. I refuse to get in on those because, frankly, if someone gives me a 10 I know they're lying and it'll just make me angry. And the cute/sexy things about above poster.. Nobody has ever been like "OMG EWWWW NO WAY!" Anything super insensitive like "omg I hate fat people" or "omg I hate skinny people" -- those all get deleted at some point.
Just saying.
Tell him to give it a chance. 0 -
Read this argument, it gets made here all the time. Tell me how much sense it makes.
"I skipped the Fitness/Exercise, Motivation/Support, Nutrition sections of the forums. I headed right for Chit Chat, Fun & Games. No one in there was talking about fitness or nutrtition!! It was all frivolous! What is wrong with this site??"
The problem is not MFP. The problem is a lack of basic intelligence from some of it's users.
My favorite part of this thread is all the people who neeevvveerrr come into the Chit Chat section. They're above that. Lucky for us they just got lost and stumbled in here apparently...
BANNED for having great guns.
what? wrong thread again? darnit.0 -
Honest when I recommend this site to my friends I tell them to stay off the forums until they are established into a routine because I don't see them as supportive. It seems to me unless you are posting pics of your progress or sharing a NSV you are just as likely to be bashed for not doing the plan "right" or the same way as all the diet and exercise experts (aka MFP members). I mean seriously does a day go by when there isn't a heated thread about eating exercise calories, how many calories should you be eating and the ever popular starvation mode? Is there any wonder people get confused and give up early on with so much contradicting information in the forums. For that matter even in the support threads you see people get bashed on occassion, saw one girl get to "normal" bmi share her success and then get bashed because she had also decided to set a goal to get to the lower end of the normal range.0
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OP... I blame you for telling him MFP is all sunshine and roses in the first place. And for claiming the chit chat forum DEVALUES MFP. You, sir, are ridiculous for missing... reality.
Hey come on - I'm going to try and 'sell' something to him by saying "Yeah it's ok, plenty of annoying know-it-alls, lots of supeficial people, many many trolls, but filter that and there's loads of great stuff too"?
Of course whilst I'm extolling the virtues of MFP, I'm going to paint it in only a good light. My point was that by coincidence or other - every message seemed to be just the opposite of what he wanted to see
Listen, if your friend is going to use the Chit Chat forum as an excuse to not use MFP or any other tool to improve his health, but instead overlook every single other attribute of this site... that is his problem. And apparently you're making it yours.
You sold it to him improperly. You failed. Quit blaming everyone else. Sounds like both of you need to pull up your boot straps and take a cold hard look at reality... this is the freaking internet. And no one, NO ONE, is responsible for your feelings but you.0 -
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wtf is wrong with you OP??
and others.
so if somebody came here went from fat to ripped they have to leave the page cose they are too good looking now?
this is chit chat section it supposed to be for fun
and yes, we are getting hotter in the process so we feel sexier so we want to rate and be rated
what is wrong with that?
it's not myfatpal it's myfitnesspal for people who want to get fit and SURPRISE for people who are fit
I was waiting for someone to get all indignant. I think you're missing my point. Who said only fat people can go on MFP? Who said you can't be fit and go on here? Who said you can't have fun on the chit chat section?
Why do you think there is something wrong with me for pointing out the difference between the mentality of those on the main groups and those on the 'rate me' threads?
oh so I'm free to post whatever I want but as long as you approve and it's within mentality defined by ... you
Wow. Deep breathe. Why are you so mad?0 -
Why do you think there is something wrong with me for pointing out the difference between the mentality of those on the main groups and those on the 'rate me' threads?
I don't think that you can make a broad sweeping generalization on the "mentality" of everyone who participates in what is just a fun thread.
Again, some people- they are just here to try and score someone.
The vast majority of us- just like to have fun once in awhile. Doesn't mean I am a 16 y.o. looking to hook up with a dude on this site because I decide to comment in a thread of that nature.
I'm not saying you shouldn't have fun on the chit chat, of course you should. Im also not saying that there shouldn't be those type of posts - rate me etc
All Im saying is that as a first impression - MFP shouldnt be as he saw it - not sure what the answer is though
If I visited a cycling forum and the first few topics were: Name your sexiest cyclist. Best shorts that make your bum look nice. Do cyclists make better lovers? etc, then I would be looking for another cycling forum regardless of how good that one might be. If those topics were sepearte from the main part of the cycle forum then that would be better wouldnt it?
If someone coming onto MFP did the same then they would be missing out on a real good site0 -
I was praising MFP to a friend the other day, explaining how good it was and how useful I had found it (He had noticed that I had lost weight and asked me about it), especially the support from everyone on these forums. He is very overweight and so self concious that he is reluctant to go to the gym, or even to weight watchers etc.
I explained that the ethic on MFP was that nobody judges and that everyone is equal including the very overweight - motivating stuff!
So he takes the mouse and clicks around the site. This is where it gets awkward. Clicks on 'Recent Posts' then on Chit Chat where most of the recent posts seemed to be from. here's what he saw:
Rate the person above you
What's sexy about the person above you?
The person above - part 4
Dear attractive men over 30
Who is your celebrity crush
Cutest thing about the person above you - part 7
Ladies, who would you rather have a one night stand with?
Hotest guy on MFP
etc etc
It was a little embarrassing to be honest. Seemed all that anyone was interested in on that side of MFP was how men look. I'm not overweight but I get an inferiority complex on there! - I can only imagine how someone with self-worth issues must feel! My friend went from excited and motivated, to crest-fallen and resigned in just a few clicks!
Polar opposites:
The support, advice, motivation of most of the MFP groups. Everyone is equal
The lustful, frenzied, man-crazy posts on Chit chat, where how someone looks is the only thing that seems to matter. You're rated on how sexy you look
I subscribe to the POV that if you don't like something, don't look, so I'm not suggesting that people shouldnt write what they want; just seems a pity to me that this part of MFP is inextricably linked to everything else.
Those sort of threads bore me silly to be honest, they remind me of the old "a/s/l" question on AOL.0 -
I think people should stop being so butt hurt over what its on the internet.0
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I think people should stop being so butt hurt over what its on the internet.
yes please.
OH NOESS..flirting is prohibted too, right?0 -
@Captain 10 :laugh:0
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All Im saying is that as a first impression - MFP shouldnt be as he saw it - not sure what the answer is though
If I visited a cycling forum and the first few topics were: Name your sexiest cyclist. Best shorts that make your bum look nice. Do cyclists make better lovers? etc, then I would be looking for another cycling forum regardless of how good that one might be. If those topics were sepearte from the main part of the cycle forum then that would be better wouldnt it?
If someone coming onto MFP did the same then they would be missing out on a real good site
Listen, I like the Chit-Chat as much as anyone. I'm a total flirt, and hanging out on chit-chat has helped ME open up in a way I never have before.
That said, I can see that if I was a hundred pounds overweight and having problems with my self-image, that having judgmental sex-heavy topics up in the corner of my HOME PAGE probably would scare me off. I might not even know that the forums are split into an off-topic/on-topic section, as my entire first impression would be set right there. Now, if I actually wander into those topics and get butthurt, then I'm an idiot.
I've seen this exact problem happen in plenty of other forums that have OT sections, and this issue always comes up. It's a bit worse here on MFP, since we are all working on our BODIES, and being more fit is usually more attractive. So, the sex factor is automatically amped up by a huge factor. In genereal, OT has to be well-cordoned off from the main area to avoid this exact sort of thing.0 -
I'm not saying you shouldn't have fun on the chit chat, of course you should. Im also not saying that there shouldn't be those type of posts - rate me etc
All Im saying is that as a first impression - MFP shouldnt be as he saw it - not sure what the answer is though
If I visited a cycling forum and the first few topics were: Name your sexiest cyclist. Best shorts that make your bum look nice. Do cyclists make better lovers? etc, then I would be looking for another cycling forum regardless of how good that one might be. If those topics were sepearte from the main part of the cycle forum then that would be better wouldnt it?
If someone coming onto MFP did the same then they would be missing out on a real good site
Then he shouldn't have started in the Chit Chat, Fun & Games section.
Change the example. Most internet forums have an "Off Topic" section for users to play around in. If I went to an automobile fanatic website, clicked on the off topic section of their forums and then got upset that no one in there was talking about cars...
Well would you blame me or the website?0 -
It is fitness pal and sometimes even my Pals I am getting fit with and motivation gets tired of talking about how to get fit, lose weight, or anything related to it. This is why they have the chat section.
As ridiculous as it is sometimes it is to blow off steam, laugh, have fun, and just talk to other people with similar goals about whatever else. Without down time for even the topic itself with the same people you get can have less of a relationship sometimes with each other and some people need strong relationships (online relationships) to feel motivated. Just my opinion0 -
I just ignore them. Except for celebrity crush ones, because they put up some nice pics. ;D0
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Sad that you have to turn and attack me - it does not reflect well
I don't ever post my real picture in any social site - so I post one that's obviously not a real person and certainly not meThere are people here who either have a fake profile and pictures, and are not here to lose weight and treat MFP as a dating site.
When I see a guy with a muscular trimmed body and a lot of "friends" - it makes my wonder if its really him, or he really looks like me and is just collecting groupies.
You serious?? You have a computer generated avatar and you're calling people out for fake pics?
I have a muscular body that I earned using MFP. That's why I have no problem showing it here. The site works if you use it. If you wanna sit around and assume everyone in better shape than you is just lying.. well that's pathetic is what it is.0
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