The 2 sides to MFP
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You cant get mad at an entire website because at that very moment most of the people logged on were responding to chit chat threads. If you want to hear the symphony of the fit happy people posting in all the info forums without a sad panda face or rage muffin in their hand- you got find us in those threads early in the morning before all the complainers spend hours trying to break our spirit and everyone gets all troll-y.
As is usual on here, things have escalated into an Internet brawl
I didn't get 'mad at an Internet website', I just said "It's a shame that he was put off by his first impression"
I still think it's a shame - not advocating change, not saying anybody is wrong or right, not getting mad, just think it's a shame
escalated into a brawl?
how did I make this a fight? what did I do?? Im not even mad. Why are you upset at me???
I was telling you the best time to see all the posters here at their very best!!!!!! i didnt even say YOU were mad at a whole website- i just said you cant -
nevermind
I didnt do anything wrong - Im just gonna leave. Im not sure how I hurt you but I apologize for trying to give some perspective.
I didn't say you were involved in the brawn, nor did you upset me. You said 'you can't get mad at an Internet site' so I just said that I wasn't mad at it - the comment about the Internet brawn was based on the friction this thread has created - wasnt supposed to0 -
I think my favorite argument on MFP is "If you don't like it, leave" because it's generally by the same people who the mods are constantly having troubles with and have to delete their pics/posts etc and then complain about the mods not being "fun". Essentially THEY'RE the ones who're using the site for something that isn't allowed (overly showoff with profile pics, overly sexual forums posts etc).
I did however made a suggestion in the suggestion sub-forum about allowing MFP'ers to block the chit-chat section (or any other sub-forum they wish) posts to appear in their "Recently Forum Topics". I hope this might fix some fued between people who just don't want those topics to pop up at work etc0 -
I agree. Honestly, I think it should be a bit monitored. I understand people want to chit chat, but when you have posts like "how sexy" etc. on a site where a lot of people who are over weight, and don't FEEL sexy are... that's kinda discouraging. Who would want to join something when they already feel down, where it appears people are STILL judging your looks. Chit chat and word games and stuff like that is fine, but I think no one should be all about who's cute, who's sexy, and my biggest pet peeve is trying to hook up with people on the forums... it's not a dating site.
Honestly I think the 'rate me' threads should all be redirected here: http://hotornot.com/
They're the same thing, after all.
To me it's just a lot of desperate attention seeking. Doesn't seem all that fun but whatever. To each his/her own.0 -
I was praising MFP to a friend the other day, explaining how good it was and how useful I had found it (He had noticed that I had lost weight and asked me about it), especially the support from everyone on these forums. He is very overweight and so self concious that he is reluctant to go to the gym, or even to weight watchers etc.
I explained that the ethic on MFP was that nobody judges and that everyone is equal including the very overweight - motivating stuff!
So he takes the mouse and clicks around the site. This is where it gets awkward. Clicks on 'Recent Posts' then on Chit Chat where most of the recent posts seemed to be from. here's what he saw:
Rate the person above you
What's sexy about the person above you?
The person above - part 4
Dear attractive men over 30
Who is your celebrity crush
Cutest thing about the person above you - part 7
Ladies, who would you rather have a one night stand with?
Hotest guy on MFP
etc etc
It was a little embarrassing to be honest. Seemed all that anyone was interested in on that side of MFP was how men look. I'm not overweight but I get an inferiority complex on there! - I can only imagine how someone with self-worth issues must feel! My friend went from excited and motivated, to crest-fallen and resigned in just a few clicks!
Polar opposites:
The support, advice, motivation of most of the MFP groups. Everyone is equal
The lustful, frenzied, man-crazy posts on Chit chat, where how someone looks is the only thing that seems to matter. You're rated on how sexy you look
I subscribe to the POV that if you don't like something, don't look, so I'm not suggesting that people shouldnt write what they want; just seems a pity to me that this part of MFP is inextricably linked to everything else.
Tell him to sign up and friend me IMMEDIATELY!!!
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I agree. Honestly, I think it should be a bit monitored. I understand people want to chit chat, but when you have posts like "how sexy" etc. on a site where a lot of people who are over weight, and don't FEEL sexy are... that's kinda discouraging. Who would want to join something when they already feel down, where it appears people are STILL judging your looks. Chit chat and word games and stuff like that is fine, but I think no one should be all about who's cute, who's sexy, and my biggest pet peeve is trying to hook up with people on the forums... it's not a dating site.
no one is allowed to feel sexy in public until all the people feel sexy in public.
Yall hear that?
Wait - also - dont forget that being judged for your looks can be a positive OR a negative judgment.
Some of us had a negative judgment because of our looks and worked hard until we got a positive judgment because of our looks- but now we must continually apologize for being excited about this in public, in front of people that waited longer to start, because its not fair to the people that waited or had more to change.
Oh AND while you are apologizing for losing weight, being proud of your new body and making friends, if you happen to come across an amazing person, who has been through alot of the struggles that you have had while getting fit, and your personalities click and you are attracted to each other and have lots of fun together and you bring out the best in each other and are all around amazing together... dont you dare meet, or hook up, or fall in love or have amazing adventures together in celebration of your new lives- dont you dare do it- this is not a dating site and that behavior is simply inappropriate.0 -
If only MFP would let us filter out certain forum groups from the "recent forum posts" section of the main page.0
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If only MFP would let us filter out certain forum groups from the "recent forum posts" section of the main page.
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/714005-ability-to-select-which-forums-show-in-recent-forum-topics0 -
I think it's really cool that you are helping your friend with MFP.I was praising MFP to a friend the other day, explaining how good it was and how useful I had found it (He had noticed that I had lost weight and asked me about it), especially the support from everyone on these forums. He is very overweight and so self concious that he is reluctant to go to the gym, or even to weight watchers etc.
I explained that the ethic on MFP was that nobody judges and that everyone is equal including the very overweight - motivating stuff!
So he takes the mouse and clicks around the site. This is where it gets awkward. Clicks on 'Recent Posts' then on Chit Chat where most of the recent posts seemed to be from. here's what he saw:
...
Are you really posting about concerns for your friend, or is this a convenient context in which to place your soapbox?
Oh blimey I hope I'm not seen as trying to promote myself as some kind of helpful saint.
Basically I was asked what I did that helped me to lose weight, so my answer would probably be the same as most people on here - "I found this website called MFP that was really useful"
I have got concerns, but I've done nothing to help him thus far. Not sure what I can do to be honest other than tell him what has helped me0 -
When I first joined MFP in 2010, the forums were never like this. As more people joined, the forums have gotten less useful and more petty. I stay off them for the most part now.
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Encourage him to come back and give it a shot. When I first began I saw those forums and was a little discouraged, but I then met people on her who were the total opposite of those groups and it MFP has been a hit with me every since.
I love the support out here and the encouragement is off the chain.. I'm thankful for the people I've had the pleasure of meeting and those that have become my friends. I would have never dreamed all of this would have come about because I decided to change my lifestyle.
So to your friend.............Come on back!0 -
I think my favorite argument on MFP is "If you don't like it, leave" because it's generally by the same people who the mods are constantly having troubles with and have to delete their pics/posts etc and then complain about the mods not being "fun". Essentially THEY'RE the ones who're using the site for something that isn't allowed (overly showoff with profile pics, overly sexual forums posts etc).
I did however made a suggestion in the suggestion sub-forum about allowing MFP'ers to block the chit-chat section (or any other sub-forum they wish) posts to appear in their "Recently Forum Topics". I hope this might fix some fued between people who just don't want those topics to pop up at work etc
I agree that argument is pretty stupid. Especially for this topic because the OP never said he thought the chit-chat section shouldn't exist. He simply stated it was discouraging for his friend to have those topics to be his first experience with the website.
Curious if you even got a response from an admin about your suggestiion? I am guessing no.0 -
Seems like the motivation and support is what your friend needs. Tell him to ignore the chit chat, and go with all the other stuff. Once he feels a little more secure in and with himself then he may be able to have fun with it. 0
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I agree. Honestly, I think it should be a bit monitored. I understand people want to chit chat, but when you have posts like "how sexy" etc. on a site where a lot of people who are over weight, and don't FEEL sexy are... that's kinda discouraging. Who would want to join something when they already feel down, where it appears people are STILL judging your looks. Chit chat and word games and stuff like that is fine, but I think no one should be all about who's cute, who's sexy, and my biggest pet peeve is trying to hook up with people on the forums... it's not a dating site.
no one is allowed to feel sexy in public until all the people feel sexy in public.
Yall hear that?
Wait - also - dont forget that being judged for your looks can be a positive OR a negative judgment.
Some of us had a negative judgment because of our looks and worked hard until we got a positive judgment because of our looks- but now we must continually apologize for being excited about this in public, in front of people that waited longer to start, because its not fair to the people that waited or had more to change.
Oh AND while you are apologizing for losing weight, being proud of your new body and making friends, if you happen to come across an amazing person, who has been through alot of the struggles that you have had while getting fit, and your personalities click and you are attracted to each other and have lots of fun together and you bring out the best in each other and are all around amazing together... dont you dare meet, or hook up, or fall in love or have amazing adventures together in celebration of your new lives- dont you dare do it- this is not a dating site and that behavior is simply inappropriate.
I love when people take a post and make it WAY too much. Idiots.
Like someone else posted, if you're proud of your new body and think you're the sexiest being ever, go to hot or not and get your self esteem booster from there. But if you're proud of your weight loss, then post like others do with their success story.
If you want to meet people for friendship that's one thing. But when I see posts like "lonely girl wanting to talk to a boy" or some crap like that, it's just stupid.
So before you go and get sarcastic and stupid, think a bit more into stuff. I'm just saying, this is a site targeted for people who want to lose weight and get in shape. Not ALL people that want to lose weight want to be reminded how sexy "skinny" people are considered on a hot or not forum. And not ALL people who have lost the weight are looking for hook ups and sexy pics.
Grow up.
**EDIT** Because I KNOW this will be hit. I choose not to go on those stupid chit chat things because I personally could care less, I don't click on forums that advertise "lonely blah blah blah". I support people, I give advice, I crack some jokes on other forums. I'm just agreeing it's kind of two sided on MFP and it would be nice to have an option for people who DONT want to see shallow people gloating about their looks rather then encouraging people.0 -
If only MFP would let us filter out certain forum groups from the "recent forum posts" section of the main page.
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/714005-ability-to-select-which-forums-show-in-recent-forum-topics
No surprise that you haven't got a response. I bumped it so it would move to the top of the Recent Posts0 -
One of my husband's friends was interested in MFP, so I told him all about it. The final selling point was "Oh, and sometimes on Fridays, a bunch of women post photos of their cleavage."
Yeah, sometimes it gets silly. Silly is good. This place wouldn't have sunk it's addictive claws in me if everything was always on topic. It's good to break the monotony of "yes, eat the exercise calories," "no, you won't get bulky," "no, you did't gain 5 pounds overnight," and "any time you cross the finish line is a good time for a 5k."0 -
no one is allowed to feel sexy in public until all the people feel sexy in public.
Yall hear that?
Yep. We've seen it a few times in this thread and countless others. The OPPOSITE of motivation.
"I don't feel very good about myself right now. So I hate all the people who do."
If anyone should be banned from MFP it's these people. I've seen users admit that they report people who post success threads just because they have strong jealousy issues and can't stand that someone else lost weight before they did.
I worked hard, I look good and I feel good. You want the same? WORK FOR IT!! Stop trying to tear down other people for doing what you haven't.0 -
I agree. Honestly, I think it should be a bit monitored. I understand people want to chit chat, but when you have posts like "how sexy" etc. on a site where a lot of people who are over weight, and don't FEEL sexy are... that's kinda discouraging. Who would want to join something when they already feel down, where it appears people are STILL judging your looks. Chit chat and word games and stuff like that is fine, but I think no one should be all about who's cute, who's sexy, and my biggest pet peeve is trying to hook up with people on the forums... it's not a dating site.
no one is allowed to feel sexy in public until all the people feel sexy in public.
Yall hear that?
Wait - also - dont forget that being judged for your looks can be a positive OR a negative judgment.
Some of us had a negative judgment because of our looks and worked hard until we got a positive judgment because of our looks- but now we must continually apologize for being excited about this in public, in front of people that waited longer to start, because its not fair to the people that waited or had more to change.
Oh AND while you are apologizing for losing weight, being proud of your new body and making friends, if you happen to come across an amazing person, who has been through alot of the struggles that you have had while getting fit, and your personalities click and you are attracted to each other and have lots of fun together and you bring out the best in each other and are all around amazing together... dont you dare meet, or hook up, or fall in love or have amazing adventures together in celebration of your new lives- dont you dare do it- this is not a dating site and that behavior is simply inappropriate.
I can't quite see how phases like 'It's a shame that was the first impression he got' and 'That's kinda discouraging' turns into 'You're not allowed to feel sexy in public!' or "Don't you dare have fun on here!' or even 'Ban these types of threads'
Nobody has said any of these things. Nobody is trying to ban anything, or stop people having fun, or sensor the messages or lay down new rules.0 -
I don't think I've ever read a post from chit chat. I hope you can convince your friend to check out MFP one more time. Show him this post!
Yeah we chatted for a while. It's a whole other issue about how much you should try and 'push' someone into dieting/keeping fit; so basically I just told him how good MFP was (In the main!) and I guess it's up to him now. I left it at "MFP is singularly the best tool I have ever used for my health"
maybe he could checkout fat 2 fit radio its a pod cast, with a sensible approach to a healthy life style0 -
Here is also another way to look at this.
The chit-chat sections is a place for people to have fun, blow off steam, joke around. So a lot of those thread titles, are just being being funny, and trying to lighten to mood up.
Are some people on here creepy and looking to use this as a dating site? Of course. You will run into that on most social media type sites on the internet these days. The point is to find and make friends with people who are like minded and will help you along the journey.
I know that I have commented on threads in the chit chat section. That doesn't mean that I am not motivated about losing weight, or using this site for dating purposes. It also doesn't mean that I am not helpful or want to help motivate others to lose weight. We all need to let off steam once in awhile.
Tell your friend to come back and connect with people who can help him, and have him stay out of the forums for now if seeing titles like that offend or makes him uncomfortable.
^^ This - I don't stand around in the break room to discuss what's going on in the meeting, but I do like to hang out in the break room some to talk about no work things and joke around. Don't base my support of others off of the chit-chat waste some time forums0 -
wtf is wrong with you OP??
and others.
so if somebody came here went from fat to ripped they have to leave the page cose they are too good looking now?
this is chit chat section it supposed to be for fun
and yes, we are getting hotter in the process so we feel sexier so we want to rate and be rated
what is wrong with that?
it's not myfatpal it's myfitnesspal for people who want to get fit and SURPRISE for people who are fit
I was waiting for someone to get all indignant. I think you're missing my point. Who said only fat people can go on MFP? Who said you can't be fit and go on here? Who said you can't have fun on the chit chat section?
Why do you think there is something wrong with me for pointing out the difference between the mentality of those on the main groups and those on the 'rate me' threads?
oh so I'm free to post whatever I want but as long as you approve and it's within mentality defined by ... you
I think there is a slight miscommunication here
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I think my favorite argument on MFP is "If you don't like it, leave" because it's generally by the same people who the mods are constantly having troubles with and have to delete their pics/posts etc and then complain about the mods not being "fun". Essentially THEY'RE the ones who're using the site for something that isn't allowed (overly showoff with profile pics, overly sexual forums posts etc).
I did however made a suggestion in the suggestion sub-forum about allowing MFP'ers to block the chit-chat section (or any other sub-forum they wish) posts to appear in their "Recently Forum Topics". I hope this might fix some fued between people who just don't want those topics to pop up at work etc
I agree that argument is pretty stupid. Especially for this topic because the OP never said he thought the chit-chat section shouldn't exist. He simply stated it was discouraging for his friend to have those topics to be his first experience with the website.
Curious if you even got a response from an admin about your suggestiion? I am guessing no.
Not sure if sarcasm or not (sorry english isn't my first language). But since a lot of folks have problems with chit-chat section then figured that for folks who like to keep the MFP work friendly, seeing "THONG THURSDAY!!!" Kinds of posts at work might not be good and since these kinds of posts are mainly created in chit-chat, the folks who prefer not to see that section can turn it off in the "recent forums posts" area and go there if they wish to later on.
The developers of MFP are usually fairly busy so I understand if they don't come back to the suggestion or feel its even feasible to make such a thing. I just wanted to throw something out there because frankly, as much as I love this site, I am sick and tired of seeing these posts and the constant banter.0 -
If only MFP would let us filter out certain forum groups from the "recent forum posts" section of the main page.
They do.....it's called the left click button on your mouse. DON'T CLICK ON THE FORUM AND SCROLL DOWN TO READ IT. :huh: :indifferent:0 -
for the life of me i cant understand how i always see people who say "i never post in those stupid things" posting in this stupid thing......cant leave well enough alone0
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10 pages for something very simple.
Not everyone defines "supportive community" in the same way.0 -
I think my favorite argument on MFP is "If you don't like it, leave" because it's generally by the same people who the mods are constantly having troubles with and have to delete their pics/posts etc and then complain about the mods not being "fun". Essentially THEY'RE the ones who're using the site for something that isn't allowed (overly showoff with profile pics, overly sexual forums posts etc).
I did however made a suggestion in the suggestion sub-forum about allowing MFP'ers to block the chit-chat section (or any other sub-forum they wish) posts to appear in their "Recently Forum Topics". I hope this might fix some fued between people who just don't want those topics to pop up at work etc
I agree that argument is pretty stupid. Especially for this topic because the OP never said he thought the chit-chat section shouldn't exist. He simply stated it was discouraging for his friend to have those topics to be his first experience with the website.
Curious if you even got a response from an admin about your suggestiion? I am guessing no.
BurghDad has figured out the point I was making - maybe I should have made it clearer.0 -
I love when people take a post and make it WAY too much. Idiots.
I love when people get ready to respond to a valid argument and start with an insult and then excuse themselves at the end with a 'i know this is gonna get a reaction' line.Like someone else posted, if you're proud of your new body and think you're the sexiest being ever, go to hot or not and get your self esteem booster from there. But if you're proud of your weight loss, then post like others do with their success story.
No. I use this site and its improving my physical appearance - Im not going to go hide on a dating site as though I should be ashamed of the goals this site is helping me reach. Some people post success stories (like me) some people post weekly success profile pics (also me) some people stay clothed and talk about Jesus and their children (not me) but Im not telling them that that is the wrong way to celebrate.
My way is ok too.If you want to meet people for friendship that's one thing. But when I see posts like "lonely girl wanting to talk to a boy" or some crap like that, it's just stupid.
agreedSo before you go and get sarcastic and stupid, think a bit more into stuff. I'm just saying, this is a site targeted for people who want to lose weight and get in shape. Not ALL people that want to lose weight want to be reminded how sexy "skinny" people are considered on a hot or not forum. And not ALL people who have lost the weight are looking for hook ups and sexy pics.
Good thing they dont have to participate there to lose weight. And this site is one reason why I lost almost 100 pounds and can lift heavy things and have such goof self esteem. Stop telling me to wait until everyone else looks good before Im allowed to feel good about my progress and show off my happy smile and my non-scale-victory midsection.Grow up.
Please show me where I attacked you personally in public. Please.**EDIT** Because I KNOW this will be hit. I choose not to go on those stupid chit chat things because I personally could care less, I don't click on forums that advertise "lonely blah blah blah". I support people, I give advice, I crack some jokes on other forums. I'm just agreeing it's kind of two sided on MFP and it would be nice to have an option for people who DONT want to see shallow people gloating about their looks rather then encouraging people.
unless its people who already got mostly fit, those *****es dont deserve our encouragement OR our tolerance.0 -
Nobody has said any of these things. Nobody is trying to ban anything, or stop people having fun, or sensor the messages or lay down new rules.
you do see that we are quoting women saying it right?0 -
I think my favorite argument on MFP is "If you don't like it, leave" because it's generally by the same people who the mods are constantly having troubles with and have to delete their pics/posts etc and then complain about the mods not being "fun". Essentially THEY'RE the ones who're using the site for something that isn't allowed (overly showoff with profile pics, overly sexual forums posts etc).
I did however made a suggestion in the suggestion sub-forum about allowing MFP'ers to block the chit-chat section (or any other sub-forum they wish) posts to appear in their "Recently Forum Topics". I hope this might fix some fued between people who just don't want those topics to pop up at work etc
I agree that argument is pretty stupid. Especially for this topic because the OP never said he thought the chit-chat section shouldn't exist. He simply stated it was discouraging for his friend to have those topics to be his first experience with the website.
Curious if you even got a response from an admin about your suggestiion? I am guessing no.
Not sure if sarcasm or not (sorry english isn't my first language). But since a lot of folks have problems with chit-chat section then figured that for folks who like to keep the MFP work friendly, seeing "THONG THURSDAY!!!" Kinds of posts at work might not be good and since these kinds of posts are mainly created in chit-chat, the folks who prefer not to see that section can turn it off in the "recent forums posts" area and go there if they wish to later on.
The developers of MFP are usually fairly busy so I understand if they don't come back to the suggestion or feel its even feasible to make such a thing. I just wanted to throw something out there because frankly, as much as I love this site, I am sick and tired of seeing these posts and the constant banter.
I'd like to add that not all of the chit chat posts are clearly titled. Some of them show up in recent topics with topic names that seem useful and end up being another junk thread.
It's a waste of my time I say! A REAL WASTE!
Being able to filter which forums show up in the recent posts list would actually be very useful and helpful for those of us who get tired of the rating threads (which seem to dominate the site on some days).0 -
I worked hard, I look good and I feel good. You want the same? WORK FOR IT!! Stop trying to tear down other people for doing what you haven't.
You don't look good... you look DAMN good.
I'll admit, when I first joined here and saw people with a ticker showing they wanted to lose 5 pounds, or people who were already fit and sexy, I'd think, "What the hell is wrong with them?!"
But we're all here for different reasons. Everyone likes to say, "We're all here for the same reason," but we're not. I was here to lose weight and get fit. Now I'm here to maintain my weight and stay fit. Which takes just as much effort. I thought losing weight was the hard part. I was wrong. There's a little more wiggle room in my food choices now, and running six miles now is as "easy" as running one mile used to be. But it's still work. It's still hard. In some ways it's harder because when I was still losing and my fitness was improving in leaps and bounds, it was a lot easier to stay motivated. Going from "I can't run" to "I can run a mile!!!" is a bigger deal than shaving a few seconds off a 5k time. Going from a size 12 to a size 4 is a big deal. Having those size 4s get a little loose, but not so loose than you need to go down another size, is less of a big deal. And you start to question, "Is all this effort really worth it?!"0 -
If only MFP would let us filter out certain forum groups from the "recent forum posts" section of the main page.
They do.....it's called the left click button on your mouse. DON'T CLICK ON THE FORUM AND SCROLL DOWN TO READ IT. :huh: :indifferent:
That is not a filter. Perhaps you should try to understand the point the OP was trying to make.0
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