My fiance keeps gaining weight !

MityMax96

Yeah I did, cause I think it funny that some people are saying what they say about OP......
While I think OP should talk to her SO about this, and not in a forum.....

It is ironic to see some of the replies.....

Everyone in a every relation has a list of things they want/desire/need in the other person.
For OP, it looks like physical aspects rank high on her list....while on other posters, that aspect ranks lower......
There is nothing wrong with this.
No different from women who want security/affirmation/affection......
That is what they want/desire in their SO.

I for one do place the physical aspect within the top 5 on my list of qualities.....
I take the time and have the discipline to bust @$$ in the gym, and eat right.....so if I ever wind up with someone, I hope she takes an interest in her appearance as well.....not saying she has to have just stepped off the cover of a body and fitness magazine....but at least show a bit of discipline.
And I expect her to have expectations of me.....whatever they may be....they may not be physical for her......that might be just icing on the cake. She may want other things, so I have to try and deliver those things.

So maybe in the case of OP, she would be better to either talk with him, or end it.

But I see nothing wrong with her saying that the physical aspect plays a role in her attraction to her SO.....
It just is how it is.

farmgirlrrt

MityMax96 wrote: »

Yeah I did, cause I think it funny that some people are saying what they say about OP......
While I think OP should talk to her SO about this, and not in a forum.....

It is ironic to see some of the replies.....

Everyone in a every relation has a list of things they want/desire/need in the other person.
For OP, it looks like physical aspects rank high on her list....while on other posters, that aspect ranks lower......
There is nothing wrong with this.
No different from women who want security/affirmation/affection......
That is what they want/desire in their SO.

I for one do place the physical aspect within the top 5 on my list of qualities.....
I take the time and have the discipline to bust @$$ in the gym, and eat right.....so if I ever wind up with someone, I hope she takes an interest in her appearance as well.....not saying she has to have just stepped off the cover of a body and fitness magazine....but at least show a bit of discipline.
And I expect her to have expectations of me.....whatever they may be....they may not be physical for her......that might be just icing on the cake. She may want other things, so I have to try and deliver those things.

So maybe in the case of OP, she would be better to either talk with him, or end it.

But I see nothing wrong with her saying that the physical aspect plays a role in her attraction to her SO.....
It just is how it is.

Agreed

catb58

NoelFigart1 wrote: »

Oh for *kitten*'s sake!

That heart attack at forty *kitten* has GOT to go.

I'm 45, 5'2" and weigh 250. While yes, yes, yes, I want to take weight off, my blood pressure is 118/68 and my resting heart rate is 62. Fat=/walking heart attack.

My sister had a heart attack at 42. Very overweight and no exercise. Lived on fast food. Did it change her lifestyle? Yeah...she switched from drinking 2 liter bottles of soda to drinking fruit juice. Did that help? Nope. So now she's diabetic, as well. So the "heart attack at forty *kitten*" can be a reality.

NoelFigart1

I don't say don't have a taste in body type. I do say if a person doesn't have the body type you want and that's important to you, you're an idiot to marry the person.

I don't argue for a second against criteria for partners. Mine is a lot sterner than a six pack. He's gotta have an IQ of at least 140 and be into intellectual and creative pursuits, and that's even rarer. (I did get lucky young, but not everyone does).

So, no, I didn't marry the jock, lovely though he was. I married the nerd. The jock found someone who appreciated him for exactly who he was, and the nerd has exactly the same thing.

Seriously, OP, toss this one back and find someone who suits you better.

wmcmurray61

My husband, who I adore, has health problems and will not make a doctor's appointment, yet still complains about how crappy he feels and continues to smoke like a train. I would never leave him and I won't. But how is that any different from OP's SO gaining weight and not caring for himself? As much as we would like to continue to be in denial about it, being significantly overweight is unhealthy and there is no way around it. So I completely understand your frustration. But I also have to say that were he to gain a bunch of weight, I would STILL find him attractive and continue to sleep with him. Because I fell in love with the person that he is inside, not his physical body. Our bodies are just vehicles. Not who we really are. Problem is, to keep the vehicles going, we have to take care of them or we end up checking out. As much as you may love someone, you can't "make" them do anything. They have to want it for themselves, not you or anybody else.

catb58

All the comments about underlying issues that he's having? Maybe he's as unhappy with you as you are with him. Not trying to be mean, but it's something to think about. Your best bet is to sit down and talk WITH HIM. Ask him if something is bothering him. Let him know that his weight gain is bothering you. Be honest, but tactful. Don't make accusatory or nasty comments....be sincere and matter of fact. If the two of you can't discuss uncomfortable issues with each other, it doesn't bode well for the future anyway.

If one of you is unhappy, the other one will likely end up the same way before long. If you're BOTH unhappy, you'll both end up miserable and bitter. You need to fix this now. If you can't figure out what to do, maybe talk to a counselor so you can figure out what you really want out of life.

dieter1200

So if he does lose this weight and has lots of loose skin r u going to be more attracted to him. I think your the 1 who has the problem. If the person your with aged and got wrinkles would u tell him to get a face lift so u can be attracted to them. You should love someone for the person they r not their physical appearance.

Wronkletoad

yeah, but all that loose skin can be perfect this time of year. you know, paint it blue and he could go as batman. get a kick-*kitten* leather codpiece and a utility belt from the AV guy at the high school, and boom! perfect!

PrizePopple

Atkins800 wrote: »

whatatime wrote: »

Atkins800 wrote: »

Tiamo719 wrote: »

Atkins800 wrote: »

where is this anger coming from? did you eat too many cookies and cant lose weight? Well don't take it all out on me.

That made me laugh

sherimiller123 wrote: »

People that are fit and healthy or atleast close to it want to be with others that are fit and healthy, most fit people are not attracted to overweight people. It is hard to be attracted to someone who cannot keep up between the sheets and has to stop because they are hurting or just plain out of shape and dont have the stamina to keep up.

lmaoo I totally agree with you.I bet any amount of money that those are are critizing me for wanting a fit partner are overweight so they took an offense to my thread. That pretty much explains it. I am fit and healthy so it makes sense to expect a partner that is also fit and healthy. Not a fatty

Seriously this person has to be a troll. No way can someone really talk/act this way. If OPs situation is real, and this is how you really do feel, then seriously you need to grow up. Leave your fiance, so he can find someone better. Invest in some mirrors so you can focus on whom you really love, yourself.

I can tell the comments from heavy chicks and they are the ones that are flagging all the answers of those who agree with me.That makes me laugh

Tanie98

I feel like its going to get worse if you go ahead and marry him. He is probably going to really let himself go, and sits in front of the tv all day eating. You might want to postpone the wedding, for a few years, or for him to lose 75 pounds that he gained .

Therealobi1

Without talking about weight have you tried to find out if some thing is bothering him. If he has made all that effort in the past why then would he revert.
Calling people fatty on a weight loss website I can only imagine what you say to his face. That can make issues worst.

If you can't bear it any longer you have to end it. Find your next partner in the gym and really interview him well. EXample questions. Have you ever been obese. What do you think of obese people. Do you ever eat out of boredom.

Ex obese woman here dating obese guy. I would have been mortified if I was dumped because of my weight. People can change when they are ready

SuninVirgo

Chances are is that he's depressed- hence the weight gain and attitude. Talk to him about that and not the weight gain. If you are not attracted to him- which is your right. Then think of ending it.

Unknown

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