Divorce Horror Stories....
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Definitely the second.... you can blame the first go-around as an honest mistake...Liftng4Lis wrote: »The first or second time I divorced him?
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My divorce was the best thing I ever bought myself. He is absolutely ridiculous and out of control most of the time.
Eh, I am super happy with the true love of my life and he gets to be the pathological liar and miserable addict he is .
I had an injury to my back . I had a total of 4 spinal injections and was going to actually take pain medication. He had stolen it and accused my 10 yr old of taking it. I left and never looked back.0 -
UncleGorilla wrote: »Mediation is required by law in Tennessee, with regard to divorces that involve children. However, most courts and/or local rules compel mediation, regardless. North Carolina requires mediation in ALL superior court cases, period.
And that's the trend across the country.
Pennsylvania has no such crockery. The day the laws prohibit me from being able to litigate my divorce and custody cases is the day I hang it up. I've been at it 31 years and I didn't go to law school and build my career to sit around playing footsie around a mediation table. The large percentage of my cases settle relatively amicably because I can hold the threat of litigation over their head... and I'm talking about the attorneys on the other side. Most lawyers today are too wimpy and afraid to go to court... it's too much work... they want to sit around having warm fuzzy moments selling out their clients. My approach is simple... I will spend the time to give you a good, fair agreement with some wiggle room for reasonable negotiation. But if you start nit-picking and getting all emo on me or try to exploit my client, I'm hauling your butt off to court and we can let a judge decide. Most attorneys now days just cave in and give me what I want. They have been sucking down too much sticky sweet syrup from the teat of mediation.
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I wish I had had my ex's attorney. She was mean, mine while having impressive stats, was probably not the best choice I could have gone with. My divorce cost me well over 10k in legal fees and jurisdiction custody issues and a lot of travel costs. Ah well, 12 years hind sight.
No snacks in my mediations. Now I know for sure I got the shaft. But, I did get custody in another state and thank goodness no trial. That might have been epically ugly, so I guess it evens out in the end.
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Money helps...0
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UncleGorilla wrote: »
I'm not aware of litigation being prohibited or replaced by mediation, anywhere. Mediation is simply a procedural prerequisite to trial, no different than pleadings or discovery. If the case settles, great. If not, on to trial they go.LoneWolfRunner wrote: »UncleGorilla wrote: »Mediation is required by law in Tennessee, with regard to divorces that involve children. However, most courts and/or local rules compel mediation, regardless. North Carolina requires mediation in ALL superior court cases, period.
And that's the trend across the country.
Pennsylvania has no such crockery. The day the laws prohibit me from being able to litigate my divorce and custody cases is the day I hang it up. I've been at it 31 years and I didn't go to law school and build my career to sit around playing footsie around a mediation table. The large percentage of my cases settle relatively amicably because I can hold the threat of litigation over their head... and I'm talking about the attorneys on the other side. Most lawyers today are too wimpy and afraid to go to court... it's too much work... they want to sit around having warm fuzzy moments selling out their clients. My approach is simple... I will spend the time to give you a good, fair agreement with some wiggle room for reasonable negotiation. But if you start nit-picking and getting all emo on me or try to exploit my client, I'm hauling your butt off to court and we can let a judge decide. Most attorneys now days just cave in and give me what I want. They have been sucking down too much sticky sweet syrup from the teat of mediation.)
There are a lot of mediators that are "touchy-feely.". ... I'm not.
A quick background...
I paid for law school by working as a private-security military contractor. I was an operator that was specifically trained in interrogation and force-on-force combatives. I was deployed to the mid-east and South America. After law school, I was a corporate attorney that specialized in compliance, security auditing and corporate dissolution for fortune 1000 companies.
I've also been a fighter for 27 years.
I conduct divorce mediations like boardroom negotiations in hostile corporate takeovers.
There is no footsie.
I'm one of the most successful mediators in the state for this very reason. I encourage the lawyers in my cases to do what they do best... Negotiate with balls-to-the-wall momentum and tactics.
But you are correct. No judge makes decisions in my cases, unless the case impasses. The expansive power to determine a case's resolution is exclusively in the hands of the litigants and lawyers, rather than a third party who is unfamiliar with the case, the litigants, the children and the facts in the matter.
Also different from trial... we provide snacks.
I've had many old-school lawyers such as yourself say the same thing about mediation vs litigation. In fact, I've had several say worse, in my presence, on the record, in open court.
After one of my cases, virtually all change their mindset.
Especially when their very satisfied, post-settlement clients start referring friends and family by the truckload.
The only guarantee I make as a mediator that has settled thousands of cases (beyond those required by statute)... You will know the strengths and weaknesses of your case exponentially better when you leave, than you did walking in.
All that said, if you're winning every domestic trial for which you have been retained, and every client you have is doing naked cartwheels down the courthouse steps as the plaster social media about their amazing lawyer... Keep on, keepin' on.
If not, you might want to find someone like me in your area, and give it a second chance.
If all that is true, you are not a 35 year old female like your profile says.... Not that I ever thought for a minute you were.... 0 -
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That's what it all ends up being. Divorce is nothing more than taking your relationship and converting it into a business transaction.redfisher1974 wrote: »Money helps...
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such an interesting thread.
tales of woe, infidelity, financial ruin, living in squalor, lawyers and mediators fighting. People deactivating in this thread. Threats of profile lying. Fantastic.0 -
ourtruelovewillneverdie wrote: »Liftng4Lis wrote: »The first or second time I divorced him?
I'm not the only one lol. I married and divorced my ex twice. First time he left us for one woman and the second it was a completely other woman. Our second time getting divorced was much harder though.
Never understood why someone would take a person back after they left them for someone else, like they somehow magically changed into someone new.
This thread is pretty funny, especially the part where people get a good laugh out of heartbreaking experiences. The deactivated accounts are pretty interesting too.0 -
ourtruelovewillneverdie wrote: »Liftng4Lis wrote: »The first or second time I divorced him?
I'm not the only one lol. I married and divorced my ex twice. First time he left us for one woman and the second it was a completely other woman. Our second time getting divorced was much harder though.
Never understood why someone would take a person back after they left them for someone else, like they somehow magically changed into someone new.
This thread is pretty funny, especially the part where people get a good laugh out of heartbreaking experiences. The deactivated accounts are pretty interesting too.
Well, I personally find it funny because I have lived and learned from it. I'm also not miserable in my life like he is. It helped me become who I am today. I also married him again because I thought it was best for my children at the time. I don't always make the best decisions but I try to do the best I can. You live and you learn, right?
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The worst divorce horror story has to be the movie "The War of the Roses!"0
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Nah, they ended happily ever after, they never had to deal with each other ever again.0
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Was with a girl for 8 yrs. Married for a little under 2 yrs. Left me for another because I was fat. She remarried the week after out divorce was finalized. That marriage lasted 2 years. The guy left her for another. She's now dating another guy. I'm just enjoying life :]0
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That makes so much sense, Thanks for your insight.LoneWolfRunner wrote: »
That's what it all ends up being. Divorce is nothing more than taking your relationship and converting it into a business transaction.redfisher1974 wrote: »Money helps...
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GorillaEsquire wrote: »
To be clear, the OP is me. I deactivated that account, because I didn't realize this account was still active.LoneWolf_70 wrote: »such an interesting thread.
tales of woe, infidelity, financial ruin, living in squalor, lawyers and mediators fighting. People deactivating in this thread. Threats of profile lying. Fantastic.
Carry on.
I stand corrected, yet, still a very interesting thread. Please MFP posters, I need more stories.
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Will post my story in 6 mo to 1 yr or however long it takes in AZ0
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my story is too long to post here.
i'll try to shorten it up.
narcissistic alcoholic abusive hoarder I was married to him for 22 years. (closet alcoholic - i didn't know) Had a son. I furthered my education within that time period. The last 12 years he did not work - I was the sole supporter, he was somewhat disabled but actually got much better & could have worked.
divorce process - i proved he could work. he took half the assets he put ZERO funds into. I had to retain ALL the liabilities. he TORE the house up - house worth LESS THAN mortgage (I had to prove it with appraisal as he wanted me out of the house so he could have half the equity). judge ORDERED me to PAY HIM ALIMONY. we are suppose to share custody but he never contacts our son - probably better off that way. ok, every once in a while my son hears from him or spends the night but it's very rare! He pays NO child support. I have to pay an *kitten* who ABUSED me and my son money every month for the rest of his natural life. Now tell me... how the He!! is that fair???0 -
sweetcurlz67 wrote: »my story is too long to post here.
i'll try to shorten it up.
narcissistic alcoholic abusive hoarder I was married to him for 22 years. (closet alcoholic - i didn't know) Had a son. I furthered my education within that time period. The last 12 years he did not work - I was the sole supporter, he was somewhat disabled but actually got much better & could have worked.
divorce process - i proved he could work. he took half the assets he put ZERO funds into. I had to retain ALL the liabilities. he TORE the house up - house worth LESS THAN mortgage (I had to prove it with appraisal as he wanted me out of the house so he could have half the equity). judge ORDERED me to PAY HIM ALIMONY. we are suppose to share custody but he never contacts our son - probably better off that way. ok, every once in a while my son hears from him or spends the night but it's very rare! He pays NO child support. I have to pay an *kitten* who ABUSED me and my son money every month for the rest of his natural life. Now tell me... how the He!! is that fair???
Gorilla, Esq could have negotiated a deal where you could have at least kept all the crap he hoarded. The only mistake you made was staying with him the 12 years when he didn't work. You should have gotten your degree and dumped him. Now learn from your mistakes and pinky swear you will never get married again.0 -
LoneWolfRunner wrote: »sweetcurlz67 wrote: »my story is too long to post here.
i'll try to shorten it up.
narcissistic alcoholic abusive hoarder I was married to him for 22 years. (closet alcoholic - i didn't know) Had a son. I furthered my education within that time period. The last 12 years he did not work - I was the sole supporter, he was somewhat disabled but actually got much better & could have worked.
divorce process - i proved he could work. he took half the assets he put ZERO funds into. I had to retain ALL the liabilities. he TORE the house up - house worth LESS THAN mortgage (I had to prove it with appraisal as he wanted me out of the house so he could have half the equity). judge ORDERED me to PAY HIM ALIMONY. we are suppose to share custody but he never contacts our son - probably better off that way. ok, every once in a while my son hears from him or spends the night but it's very rare! He pays NO child support. I have to pay an *kitten* who ABUSED me and my son money every month for the rest of his natural life. Now tell me... how the He!! is that fair???
Gorilla, Esq could have negotiated a deal where you could have at least kept all the crap he hoarded. The only mistake you made was staying with him the 12 years when he didn't work. You should have gotten your degree and dumped him. Now learn from your mistakes and pinky swear you will never get married again.
hahahaha! it's been a few years and at first i would have told you there was no way in He11 i would have gotten married again! however, now i do hold out hope. but this time, i will make d@mn sure we are BEST Friends first and know that it is RIGHT before saying "I do" again. however, do not fret... just 'playing the game' right now... oh and having a BLAST doing it (pun intended)
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I had a lawyer, he didn't. I got what I wanted and more than I would have gotten had he not had a lawyer. I got my divorce for costs only since I had worked for the lawyers I used. I see him often he still is an obnoxious idiot. I'm happy and loving life so what's the opposite of a divorce horror story?0
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SomeGirlSomewhere wrote: »The worst divorce horror story has to be the movie "The War of the Roses!"
Loved that one!0
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