Divorce Horror Stories....

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  • Myrmilt
    Myrmilt Posts: 124 Member
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    I won't bore you with my story, but I dated a guy that had a sad story.

    He had been married before and the divorce had been years before.

    I asked what the divorce story was - it was a typical too young, bought her everything, she was crazy story.

    About a week later I saw him and he said he had bad news. His attorney contacted him and the divorce from 5 years prior wasn't finalized and he was technically still married. He had paid her out and was afraid of having to pay her more.

    All I could do was laugh. He oddly enough didn't find it funny. We broke up shortly after. Poor guy.
  • Myrmilt
    Myrmilt Posts: 124 Member
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    UncleGorilla wrote: »
    dbanks80 wrote: »
    What doesnt kill you makes you stronger...
    Except taxes. And Ebola.

    Funny. Paying taxes keeps you out of jail at least.
  • mjterp
    mjterp Posts: 655 Member
    edited November 2014
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    [quote/]

    What doesnt kill you makes you stronger and it seems like you came out of that superman strong! Good for you to be able to trust and love again!

    [/quote]

    Yeah, if the "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" were true, I'd be the friggin HULK!

    DH#1 had an affair when baby number 3 was born. I had been a stay at home mom...quit college early on because if I didn't pay him my full attention he "strayed." (yeah...I learned)
    I had the parental agreement drawn up such that things were stable no matter where he moved to. (if he was within an hour...visitation was X, if he was within 2 hours...visitation was Y ...etc. Now he lives out of country so as not to pay child support.) During the time of the divorce, I was homeschooling the older kiddos, going to college myself, and handling the home (nursing and diaper changes and appointments...gak) He called Child Protective services on me twice, once when we had an electrical fire (the power companies fault as it was thier external ground wiring that failed) and once when we had a downstairs water leak...mold...yuck...insurance involved, drywallers and carpet guys and everything from downstairs had to be moved upstairs so living conditions were tight and messy) BOTH times the claimes were listed as unfounded. He took me to court a few times saying I wasn't in compliance of the parenting plan. EACH TIME I was found innocent...the problem was his and he was told to catch up on/increase his child support. SERIOUSLY DUDE...you left...I let you go....MOVE ON and find someone else to bother already! (yeah, glad he is out of country and the kids are old enough to ignore him themselves.)

    DH#2 was 8 years later...I fell more in love with his kids than with him. They blended SOOOO well with our family and now I never get to see them (contact via facebook occasionally) He had a gambling problem that he hid really well until I took out a equity loan to pay for a new furnace and some other needed home repairs...money was GONE in less than a month...came home to his stuff gone....then found the money gone. After a few months we tried to work it out...yeah...he left again...I'm still paying his gambling debt. He has a gal he has been with for the past couple of years, but he still comes around to try to get a booty call. I asked him why and he said I was better in bed...Ummm...so? Chemistry was never our problem, but I'm not into sharing and we are divorced...so no going back now.

    Needless to say, there will be NO #3. (anybody have a recommendation for a new BOB? (battery operated boyfriend) Mine died...Does this make me a widow?
  • LoneWolfRunner
    LoneWolfRunner Posts: 1,160 Member
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    UncleGorilla wrote: »
    Excellent. All I practice is mediation.
    I never do mediation.... or collaborative law... or anything that tells me I can't go to court. But I like lawyers that do... I get their clients when mediation falls apart.
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,841 Member
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    Married almost 20 years now. Most of them good. Some of them the worst years of my life. True story, that is marriage.
  • Liftng4Lis
    Liftng4Lis Posts: 15,150 Member
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    The first or second time I divorced him?
  • ourtruelovewillneverdie
    ourtruelovewillneverdie Posts: 170 Member
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    Liftng4Lis wrote: »
    The first or second time I divorced him?

    I'm not the only one lol. I married and divorced my ex twice. First time he left us for one woman and the second it was a completely other woman. Our second time getting divorced was much harder though.

  • LoneWolfRunner
    LoneWolfRunner Posts: 1,160 Member
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    Liftng4Lis wrote: »
    The first or second time I divorced him?
    Definitely the second.... you can blame the first go-around as an honest mistake...
  • TheRealKit
    TheRealKit Posts: 97 Member
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    My divorce was the best thing I ever bought myself. He is absolutely ridiculous and out of control most of the time.

    Eh, I am super happy with the true love of my life and he gets to be the pathological liar and miserable addict he is .

    I had an injury to my back . I had a total of 4 spinal injections and was going to actually take pain medication. He had stolen it and accused my 10 yr old of taking it. I left and never looked back.
  • LoneWolfRunner
    LoneWolfRunner Posts: 1,160 Member
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    UncleGorilla wrote: »
    Mediation is required by law in Tennessee, with regard to divorces that involve children. However, most courts and/or local rules compel mediation, regardless. North Carolina requires mediation in ALL superior court cases, period.

    And that's the trend across the country.

    Pennsylvania has no such crockery. The day the laws prohibit me from being able to litigate my divorce and custody cases is the day I hang it up. I've been at it 31 years and I didn't go to law school and build my career to sit around playing footsie around a mediation table. The large percentage of my cases settle relatively amicably because I can hold the threat of litigation over their head... and I'm talking about the attorneys on the other side. Most lawyers today are too wimpy and afraid to go to court... it's too much work... they want to sit around having warm fuzzy moments selling out their clients. My approach is simple... I will spend the time to give you a good, fair agreement with some wiggle room for reasonable negotiation. But if you start nit-picking and getting all emo on me or try to exploit my client, I'm hauling your butt off to court and we can let a judge decide. Most attorneys now days just cave in and give me what I want. They have been sucking down too much sticky sweet syrup from the teat of mediation. :))

  • Myrmilt
    Myrmilt Posts: 124 Member
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    I wish I had had my ex's attorney. She was mean, mine while having impressive stats, was probably not the best choice I could have gone with. My divorce cost me well over 10k in legal fees and jurisdiction custody issues and a lot of travel costs. Ah well, 12 years hind sight.

    No snacks in my mediations. Now I know for sure I got the shaft. But, I did get custody in another state and thank goodness no trial. That might have been epically ugly, so I guess it evens out in the end.
  • redfisher1974
    redfisher1974 Posts: 614 Member
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    Money helps...
  • LoneWolfRunner
    LoneWolfRunner Posts: 1,160 Member
    edited November 2014
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    UncleGorilla wrote: »
    LoneWolfRunner wrote: »
    UncleGorilla wrote: »
    Mediation is required by law in Tennessee, with regard to divorces that involve children. However, most courts and/or local rules compel mediation, regardless. North Carolina requires mediation in ALL superior court cases, period.

    And that's the trend across the country.

    Pennsylvania has no such crockery. The day the laws prohibit me from being able to litigate my divorce and custody cases is the day I hang it up. I've been at it 31 years and I didn't go to law school and build my career to sit around playing footsie around a mediation table. The large percentage of my cases settle relatively amicably because I can hold the threat of litigation over their head... and I'm talking about the attorneys on the other side. Most lawyers today are too wimpy and afraid to go to court... it's too much work... they want to sit around having warm fuzzy moments selling out their clients. My approach is simple... I will spend the time to give you a good, fair agreement with some wiggle room for reasonable negotiation. But if you start nit-picking and getting all emo on me or try to exploit my client, I'm hauling your butt off to court and we can let a judge decide. Most attorneys now days just cave in and give me what I want. They have been sucking down too much sticky sweet syrup from the teat of mediation. :))
    I'm not aware of litigation being prohibited or replaced by mediation, anywhere. Mediation is simply a procedural prerequisite to trial, no different than pleadings or discovery. If the case settles, great. If not, on to trial they go.

    There are a lot of mediators that are "touchy-feely.". ... I'm not.

    A quick background...

    I paid for law school by working as a private-security military contractor. I was an operator that was specifically trained in interrogation and force-on-force combatives. I was deployed to the mid-east and South America. After law school, I was a corporate attorney that specialized in compliance, security auditing and corporate dissolution for fortune 1000 companies.

    I've also been a fighter for 27 years.

    I conduct divorce mediations like boardroom negotiations in hostile corporate takeovers.

    There is no footsie.

    I'm one of the most successful mediators in the state for this very reason. I encourage the lawyers in my cases to do what they do best... Negotiate with balls-to-the-wall momentum and tactics.

    But you are correct. No judge makes decisions in my cases, unless the case impasses. The expansive power to determine a case's resolution is exclusively in the hands of the litigants and lawyers, rather than a third party who is unfamiliar with the case, the litigants, the children and the facts in the matter.

    Also different from trial... we provide snacks. ;)

    I've had many old-school lawyers such as yourself say the same thing about mediation vs litigation. In fact, I've had several say worse, in my presence, on the record, in open court.

    After one of my cases, virtually all change their mindset.

    Especially when their very satisfied, post-settlement clients start referring friends and family by the truckload.

    The only guarantee I make as a mediator that has settled thousands of cases (beyond those required by statute)... You will know the strengths and weaknesses of your case exponentially better when you leave, than you did walking in.

    All that said, if you're winning every domestic trial for which you have been retained, and every client you have is doing naked cartwheels down the courthouse steps as the plaster social media about their amazing lawyer... Keep on, keepin' on.

    If not, you might want to find someone like me in your area, and give it a second chance.

    If all that is true, you are not a 35 year old female like your profile says.... :) Not that I ever thought for a minute you were....

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