Divorce Horror Stories....
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Don't really have a horror story, as my husband's ex has been largely good about everything and we get along great now, but I remember when my husband and his ex were still splitting up their stuff(they hadn't signed the separation agreement yet, I don't think. I was the witness on the signing. Awkward). I came home one day and opened the cupboard and ALL of our dishes were gone. That was quite a shock. Nobody mentioned that she was going to come and take the dishes. You'd think someone would have thought to mention that to me.0
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Divorced my ex and found out some years later after we got divorced that she had never divorced her previous husband so our marriage was never legal in the first place.
Same thing happened to me! And he was stilling screwing around with the other wife during our marriage. Thanks for sharing that because now I don't feel like the world's biggest sucker! I only found out during the divorce proceedings when a girlfriend of his showed up at my house trying to collect money he owed her and spilled the beans.
It turned out to be a blessing because, after I kicked him out and he realized I wasn't going to take him back, the IRS suddenly slapped a lien on my property and home. Turns out he had a huge tax debt from the years prior to our marriage that he had kept hidden from me throughout our marriage. When I was able to annul the marriage, IRS had to stop coming after me for his debts.
That was 15 years ago. I've stayed single.
that was definitely a blessing in disguise0 -
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UncleGorilla wrote: »It's illegal to marry a douchenozzle in Tennessee. It's frowned upon to marry any feminine hygiene products, really.
Now, you know that's not true! If it were, you would totally be out of business! That, or the fine Tennessee tradition of not allowing the family tree to "fork".UncleGorilla wrote: »It would apppear that way. That page was in response to numerous requests to start a blog. People like my stories.
Oddly, I'm yet to post a single story on that page. And one of the memes that went viral was a fortune cookie that simply said, "You sharted."
I saw that! I must say, I did fine some humor with some of your memes. I noticed a few of my friends liked the Elsa "Diabeetus" one. When you go viral with swag billboards and memes, and we have a "Swagfest" down here, I'll call up Stephen, and we'll have a "Swag-off". It'll be the biggest thing this area has ever seen. Guaranteed.
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Ugh. It was almost 15 years ago and it was a long, ugly, sordid story. There was my (then) wife cleaning out house and literally leaving me a kitchen table, lazy boy, stereo, and my guitars and amps. She took all the kids' bedroom furniture, then left the kids with me. They were 8 and 4 at the time. Then there was the multiple calls she made to report me to child services when the custody agreement didn't go her way. Then there was her moving to a different town and just expecting me to give her the kids, then reporting me to child services (again) and taking me to court (again) when I refused to comply (she was in violation of the custody agreement, not me). There was the phone call from her neighbour on a Tuesday afternoon when I was 3 states away for work, telling me that she was "kicking the kids out of the house, throwing their stuff out on the lawn and screaming profanity at them." She, the neighbour, had taken the kids in but didn't know what to do. The kids were 9 and 5 at the time. And the list goes on, and on, and on, and on...
there was really no sign of impending doom before you got married on this one? she seems like an obvious nut lol0 -
Sorry you had the same experience. I wish I had found out during the divorce proceedings. She raked me over the coals for years before the truth came out. I swore that I'd try marriage only once and never again if it didn't work out but not so much. Took a long time to regain trust but I managed. I'm sure you will too eventually. I just learned to be picky and to pay attention to warning signs.
Yeah, I'm sorry you did, too!! No fun to go through. Sociopaths... they're so good at what they do. It was such a lifesaver to have the girlfriend pop up with the info when she did. She even knew the other wife and took me to meet her. I got the other wife to sign a statement that they had never divorced and that cinched it for me in court.
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Well, this thread was properly terrifying.
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Sorry you had the same experience. I wish I had found out during the divorce proceedings. She raked me over the coals for years before the truth came out. I swore that I'd try marriage only once and never again if it didn't work out but not so much. Took a long time to regain trust but I managed. I'm sure you will too eventually. I just learned to be picky and to pay attention to warning signs.
Yeah, I'm sorry you did, too!! No fun to go through. Sociopaths... they're so good at what they do. It was such a lifesaver to have the girlfriend pop up with the info when she did. She even knew the other wife and took me to meet her. I got the other wife to sign a statement that they had never divorced and that cinched it for me in court.
I had a cat like your profile pic once, but the ex got him. He lived with her for a couple of years and then ran away one day. I wonder why?0 -
giggitygoo wrote: »Well, this thread was properly terrifying.
As it should be. Some of these stories aren't for the faint of heart.0 -
I've heard this several times. I'm on my second marriage (and so is he) Does it mean we're MORE likely to get divorced because we've both been divorced before? Scary. I hope not. I think with us, having learned from past mistakes, we make more of an effort to appreciate each other. Hoping that's enough!UncleGorilla wrote: »
One of the many reasons for the following:I've heard it said by someone who really knows what she's talking about that it oughta be mandatory that couples invest in one year of pre-marital therapy to discern if they're compatible as marriage partners.
And I get the whole swept away by romance bit, I really do, as I've been blinded by it myself on a number of occasions.
But I don't think most people really know who they're getting married to until it's too late (already married, children produced from the union).
So then if you screw up the first time with picking a spouse, it's much harder the second time with the ex this and ex that and step children to deal with. Divided loyalties make it so much messier.
Anyhow, I wish MFPers the best on their quest for romance. Especially those of you who are marriage minded.
52% divorce rate for first time marriages
61% for second marriages
73% for third marriages.
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How about your husband telling you he is going to Auto Zone and never comes back? My ex did that to me. He left a week after he returned from Iraq to move in with his married mistress. He ended up terminating his parental rights so he wouldn't have to pay child support and I couldn't afford to keep fighting so I agreed. It wasn't like I was getting child support anyway. The state kept telling me they couldn't find him, even though he is a cop lol. He went on to have four more children too.0
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Divorced my ex and found out some years later after we got divorced that she had never divorced her previous husband so our marriage was never legal in the first place.
Same thing happened to me! And he was stilling screwing around with the other wife during our marriage. Thanks for sharing that because now I don't feel like the world's biggest sucker! I only found out during the divorce proceedings when a girlfriend of his showed up at my house trying to collect money he owed her and spilled the beans.
It turned out to be a blessing because, after I kicked him out and he realized I wasn't going to take him back, the IRS suddenly slapped a lien on my property and home. Turns out he had a huge tax debt from the years prior to our marriage that he had kept hidden from me throughout our marriage. When I was able to annul the marriage, IRS had to stop coming after me for his debts.
That was 15 years ago. I've stayed single.
Sorry you had the same experience. I wish I had found out during the divorce proceedings. She raked me over the coals for years before the truth came out. I swore that I'd try marriage only once and never again if it didn't work out but not so much. Took a long time to regain trust but I managed. I'm sure you will too eventually. I just learned to be picky and to pay attention to warning signs.
What doesnt kill you makes you stronger and it seems like you came out of that superman strong! Good for you to be able to trust and love again!
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20th February 2000 was the second best day of my life, the best was the 31st January 1996 (the birth of my daughter)....
I got my decree absolute on the 20th February 2000, I couldn't have been happier.... I remarried on May 2005 and I know I got it right this time round.
xXx0 -
Haha The Keith Urban song "Think I got it right this time" Was our wedding song. No joke20th February 2000 was the second best day of my life, the best was the 31st January 1996 (the birth of my daughter)....
I got my decree absolute on the 20th February 2000, I couldn't have been happier.... I remarried on May 2005 and I know I got it right this time round.
xXx
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paulawatkins1974 wrote: »
I've heard this several times. I'm on my second marriage (and so is he) Does it mean we're MORE likely to get divorced because we've both been divorced before? Scary. I hope not. I think with us, having learned from past mistakes, we make more of an effort to appreciate each other. Hoping that's enough!UncleGorilla wrote: »
One of the many reasons for the following:I've heard it said by someone who really knows what she's talking about that it oughta be mandatory that couples invest in one year of pre-marital therapy to discern if they're compatible as marriage partners.
And I get the whole swept away by romance bit, I really do, as I've been blinded by it myself on a number of occasions.
But I don't think most people really know who they're getting married to until it's too late (already married, children produced from the union).
So then if you screw up the first time with picking a spouse, it's much harder the second time with the ex this and ex that and step children to deal with. Divided loyalties make it so much messier.
Anyhow, I wish MFPers the best on their quest for romance. Especially those of you who are marriage minded.
52% divorce rate for first time marriages
61% for second marriages
73% for third marriages.
Ditto--second time around for both and SO MUCH better! I know a lot of other couples like that too. The trick is that both people have to learn from the first time around. Too many people just keep making the same mistakes over and over again, hence the stats above. To everyone else, if you learn and change and appreciate each other, it can be better than you ever thought it could be. Good luck! 0 -
UncleGorilla wrote: »
One of the many reasons for the following:I've heard it said by someone who really knows what she's talking about that it oughta be mandatory that couples invest in one year of pre-marital therapy to discern if they're compatible as marriage partners.
And I get the whole swept away by romance bit, I really do, as I've been blinded by it myself on a number of occasions.
But I don't think most people really know who they're getting married to until it's too late (already married, children produced from the union).
So then if you screw up the first time with picking a spouse, it's much harder the second time with the ex this and ex that and step children to deal with. Divided loyalties make it so much messier.
Anyhow, I wish MFPers the best on their quest for romance. Especially those of you who are marriage minded.
52% divorce rate for first time marriages
61% for second marriages
73% for third marriages.
and this is why there will not be a third..0 -
I won't bore you with my story, but I dated a guy that had a sad story.
He had been married before and the divorce had been years before.
I asked what the divorce story was - it was a typical too young, bought her everything, she was crazy story.
About a week later I saw him and he said he had bad news. His attorney contacted him and the divorce from 5 years prior wasn't finalized and he was technically still married. He had paid her out and was afraid of having to pay her more.
All I could do was laugh. He oddly enough didn't find it funny. We broke up shortly after. Poor guy.0 -
UncleGorilla wrote: »
Funny. Paying taxes keeps you out of jail at least.0 -
[quote/]
What doesnt kill you makes you stronger and it seems like you came out of that superman strong! Good for you to be able to trust and love again!
[/quote]
Yeah, if the "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" were true, I'd be the friggin HULK!
DH#1 had an affair when baby number 3 was born. I had been a stay at home mom...quit college early on because if I didn't pay him my full attention he "strayed." (yeah...I learned)
I had the parental agreement drawn up such that things were stable no matter where he moved to. (if he was within an hour...visitation was X, if he was within 2 hours...visitation was Y ...etc. Now he lives out of country so as not to pay child support.) During the time of the divorce, I was homeschooling the older kiddos, going to college myself, and handling the home (nursing and diaper changes and appointments...gak) He called Child Protective services on me twice, once when we had an electrical fire (the power companies fault as it was thier external ground wiring that failed) and once when we had a downstairs water leak...mold...yuck...insurance involved, drywallers and carpet guys and everything from downstairs had to be moved upstairs so living conditions were tight and messy) BOTH times the claimes were listed as unfounded. He took me to court a few times saying I wasn't in compliance of the parenting plan. EACH TIME I was found innocent...the problem was his and he was told to catch up on/increase his child support. SERIOUSLY DUDE...you left...I let you go....MOVE ON and find someone else to bother already! (yeah, glad he is out of country and the kids are old enough to ignore him themselves.)
DH#2 was 8 years later...I fell more in love with his kids than with him. They blended SOOOO well with our family and now I never get to see them (contact via facebook occasionally) He had a gambling problem that he hid really well until I took out a equity loan to pay for a new furnace and some other needed home repairs...money was GONE in less than a month...came home to his stuff gone....then found the money gone. After a few months we tried to work it out...yeah...he left again...I'm still paying his gambling debt. He has a gal he has been with for the past couple of years, but he still comes around to try to get a booty call. I asked him why and he said I was better in bed...Ummm...so? Chemistry was never our problem, but I'm not into sharing and we are divorced...so no going back now.
Needless to say, there will be NO #3. (anybody have a recommendation for a new BOB? (battery operated boyfriend) Mine died...Does this make me a widow?0 -
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I never do mediation.... or collaborative law... or anything that tells me I can't go to court. But I like lawyers that do... I get their clients when mediation falls apart.UncleGorilla wrote: »Excellent. All I practice is mediation.
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Married almost 20 years now. Most of them good. Some of them the worst years of my life. True story, that is marriage.0
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The first or second time I divorced him?0
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Liftng4Lis wrote: »The first or second time I divorced him?
I'm not the only one lol. I married and divorced my ex twice. First time he left us for one woman and the second it was a completely other woman. Our second time getting divorced was much harder though.
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