"Stop losing weight!" Uggggh.

sweetpea129

So, yesterday my parents & sister had a talk with me. They told me its time for me to stop losing weight & they are worrying I'm going too far?! They asked me how much more I plan to lose & I said that my goal is about another 15-20 lbs. They were not happy & saying I'm looking too thin & gaunt. It really pissed me off.

For reference, I'm 5'5 & 158 lbs!! I wear a size 8! Far from "overdoing" it!! I know a big part is that they've always known me as morbidly obese, they've never seen me like this. My sister is freaking 5'6 & 135 lbs so I don't get it?! I try to ignore them but it really starts pissing me off.

Anyone relate? What do you say?

hkmurphy83

First of all, AWESOME weight loss so far! You are inspiring!

Second of all, yes, I've had some "You can stop now!" comments from people, and it annoys the bejeepers out of me. But like you, I know what I'm doing is healthy, and I can still continue to lose in a healthy manner. Just ignore them. You know their hearts are in the right place. And for those that are just jealous....haters are going to hate!

Keep up the good work.

staceypunk

I am getting those kind of remarks from family and many friends as well. I think that they are hearing how obsessed I am with it all and that is the concerning part for them, so it seems less healthy because it's always on my mind and I have to try so hard? I dunno. It's just my personality to obsess over something so if it weren't counting calories and exercising, it would be something else (like paying down debt or becoming a parent, both of which I rocked as well!).

I think a lot of people think that we are just trying to get as skinny as possible. It's a huge assumption. I'm trying to shape my body into a lean, tight nice looking package and to be as strong as I can be.

MinnieInMaine

i've had a few people say that to me as well and the funny part is that two of them were guys and very into fitness. Everyone has their opinions and you have to do what's right for you. I'm pretty sure what you said is right because I think it's where the comments from my folks come from - they had gotten so used to seeing you heavy that the new you seems "too skinny". It could also have to do with how you're dressing. I don't know about you but I know I hid as much as my body as I could before with longer sleeves, baggy clothes, long pants...but now I'm not as shy about wearing a bathing suit or tank tops or shorts.

It's kind of like when you see someone with a new haircut but can't quite figure out why they look different - did they get new glasses, a new outfit? Eventually they will get used to it and it won't be a big deal.

Try not to mention the weight loss to them too much and if they ask if you've lost more just give a generic answer like "not really" or "this new outift is just slimming" and/or change the subject altogether.

P.S. It may help to come up with some concrete medical related answers. Don't lie but if you have been to your doc in the past year, just relay what he/she may have said about your weight. For instance, mine was happy with my progress and agreed that I should lose another 20 or so pounds to get within the healthy BMI range for my height.

SonicDeathMonkey80

Overweight has somehow become equated with being "healthy" these days. I blame the fat acceptance movement.

crista_b

First, congrats on the loss so far!

Second, I think it's partly the idea that you mentioned where they're used to seeing you as overweight. I think for some people it's just such a difference that they think that you're doing something wrong.

It can sometimes be a jealousy thing too. People see how great you've done and are doing, and they get a little subconscious jealousy telling them that you're the one who's wrong.

Your goal weight is fine. Keep up the good work! :drinker:

confetti_blind

I completely relate to this, grrrrrrrr.

I went to my fiance's parents house this weekend and had to endure an awkward conversation with his parents about 'not taing it too far' and how I don't look like me anymore and how my face is 'too thin'. It was embarrassing and I didn't know how to respond at all...

But what I really, really, really wanted to say to his family was this: "You are too fat. You are obese. Perhaps even morbidly obese. You wouldn't have the back problems, high blood pressure and other health complaints which you constantly winge about if you didn't eat so damn much. Lose some weight. You don't look like you anymore. You look like a fat pig."

I hate how people think they have the right to comment on other people's weight loss, body image and goals.

FJcntdwn2sknyluv

I've had the same thing, my Sister this weekend was like 'I'm watching you, your didn't eat much at dinner' ... I was like 'what?' 'I ate 7 hot wings, salad and 2pieces of pizza!".. she had 2 bites of salad and 4 hot-wings... who's not eating!...

Keep on with what makes you happy, I caulk it up to jealousy ..

And congrats on the weight loss!

KateRunsColorado

I always just tell people what the healthy weight range is according to BMI, and how to relates to my goals.

For example, "According to the BMI, I can still lose another 15 lbs and be at a healthy weight range for my height."

A lot of people don't realize what a healthy weight looks like. If you have something to back it up, then it might make them understand more.

staplebug

I'm exactly where you are right now, 5'5" and about the same weight. Do they not realize that this is not yet in the healthy BMI range? Losing another 20 pounds is not dangerous at all.

Congrats, by the way, you are looking great!

tbodega

So, yesterday my parents & sister had a talk with me. They told me its time for me to stop losing weight & they are worrying I'm going too far?! They asked me how much more I plan to lose & I said that my goal is about another 15-20 lbs. They were not happy & saying I'm looking too thin & gaunt. It really pissed me off.

For reference, I'm 5'5 & 158 lbs!! I wear a size 8! Far from "overdoing" it!! I know a big part is that they've always known me as morbidly obese, they've never seen me like this. My sister is freaking 5'6 & 135 lbs so I don't get it?! I try to ignore them but it really starts pissing me off.

Anyone relate? What do you say?

I can absolutely relate to this! Especially at work where people feel like saying such ridiculous things are part of "small talk" and they never seem to look at themselves.

It got so bad that I recently cut off someone that I was cool with because they always made smartass comments about my food logging, choice of working out, "weird foods that I eat" , or how much weight I have lost.

juliegrey1

Well done you!5 ft 5 and 158 is fab yeah you can afford to loose another few pounds,its just they are not used to seeing you lookin so thin so they are worried!well done to you thats a huge achievement!!!!!

SarahBeth0625

I get those kinds of comments too!! Or, "you can stop working out now.."

Uh no!! Even doctors recommend 30 minutes of cardio daily, which is what I get. It's all about health for me and continued maintenance. Sure, some of it is because I want to look good, but I'm no longer losing weight, I am keeping my muscles and continuing to become stronger.

People are stupid!

MaydayParadeGirl

I disagree with everyone telling you that they are jealous, they're your family and they are worried about you. However you need to m ake sure that they understand that this isn't going to go to far. Show them the fact that you are getting yourself to healthy body weight for your height and age, because you really can't argue with facts without sounding silly. Explain to them that you LIKE what you see when you look in the mirror and maybe even go as far as to show them what somenoe who is unhealthy ACTUALLY looks like? They are just seeing you as how you have always been and they are worried. You're never going to get your parents to stop worrying, it's who they are and what they do, but you need to educate them and explain to them that whether they like it or not you are doing this and you are doing it in a healthy way, that you arent' taking it too far

mmddwechanged

I can relate. I had a talk with my mother before I started. She actually complained that someone had said something like this to her. I told her that she has done this to me time and time again. Once it even propelled me to gain all the weight back. I said that it is no ones business, that it is hurtful and a bunch of other strong words. She still makes comments and I am especially upset when she makes comments in front of my daughter. But I don't feel bad giving her an icey state when she does. She knows what she is doing. So, basically, I have made it very clear that this in unacceptable behaviour. The women in my family are all overweight with the exception of my children.

I am also very careful to keep my nose out of my children's eating habits. They both make very heathy choices and enjoy treats in moderation without my help.

sweetpea129

Thanks for all the replies!

I did being up BMI to try to shut them up but they don't believe in BMI. I actually don't really either as I know I'm not overweight. Just wish they would mind their business!

Rockstar_JILL

I hear this too, at times. it is usually from overweight people that don't look after themselves. They are either just jealous or just never knew me when I used to be thinner. They are used to seeing me a certain way and they think I look too thin now. Actually according to my BMI, I am still considered "overweight" even though I don't look it. My goal is to just get inside the upper range of weight for my BMI. I am almost there. I figure my body will stop when it is ready to stop. I feel good, and am fit and healthy, so I just dont' listen to them.

crista_b

I always just tell people what the healthy weight range is according to BMI, and how to relates to my goals.

For example, "According to the BMI, I can still lose another 15 lbs and be at a healthy weight range for my height."

A lot of people don't realize what a healthy weight looks like. If you have something to back it up, then it might make them understand more.

This is a good idea to back yourself up if they try to say something and won't let you just ignore it. You can also show them pictures of people on mybodygallery.com who are your height and shape and at your goal weight.

If they still don't like this and continue, you may just be stuck with the passive response of "I appreciate your concern" and dropping it.

wendybird5

I'm the same measurements as you and get the same comments, not from family, but from co-workers who also like to warn me I'm going to get fat any time they see me eat a cookie.

It probably is largely due to them being so used to how big you once were. My dad lost a lot of weight and at first it freaked me out because he looked almost sickly to me because seeing him so thin was so strange for me. So don't take it personally.

As long as your doctor says you're healthy, you are doing good. And you should say the same to your family.

KGill67

A lot of people don't realize what a healthy weight looks like. If you have something to back it up, then it might make them understand more.

Very good point. When I watch TV shows from the 70s, I always notice that everyone looks so trim - but that was the norm, and those people were at a healthy weight. Does anyone remember "The Odd Couple"? Oscar was supposed to be the stereotypical flabby former jock - but by today's standards, he looks normal, and Felix looks unhealthily thin. We really have grown accustomed to seeing people carrying around an extra 10 - 20 pounds.

kw85296

Congrats on the weight loss! Your goal of another 15 - 20 pounds is not unrealistic at all. It is well within the recommended weight range for your height. If this brought you down to a size 6 instead of 8 that too would not be unrealistic. I would try to play down your continuing healthy eating plan and if they say anything more maybe you could pull up a healthy weight chart for your age and show them that is all you are trying to achieve. (P.s. I am 5' 4 1/2" and weigh 127)