"Stop losing weight!" Uggggh.

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  • 12skipafew99100
    12skipafew99100 Posts: 1,669 Member
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    At 5'5" I was perfect at 125 to 130. I have a medium frame. Nothin wrong with that. If they ask you about your progress just tell them you are done.
    Its none of their business!
  • stellcorb
    stellcorb Posts: 294 Member
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    Ha! I'm 5'5" as well and I started getting the "you're getting too skinny" around 150 ish (which puts me at a size 8 as well). I think you're right on the fact that they're used to seeing you a certain way, so it takes adjusting. Also, not sure about you but certain parts of me get pretty boney ( my chest, collarbones and face) while others stay a bit more "padded" so I appear a bit more gaunt than I am. I would try to take what they say as genuine love and concern... give them a hug and keep on with your journey. If they say it again, assure them you're healthy and happy and not to worry
    Best of luck!
  • July
    July Posts: 239
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    I've gotten that too. It's just as rude as calling someone fat. People shouldn't comment on others' bodies. If they do say that they're worried about your health, tell them that you're working with your doctor and s/he says you're on the right track. Just keep repeating this until they get tired of hearing you say it.
  • sweetpea129
    sweetpea129 Posts: 755 Member
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    Ha! I'm 5'5" as well and I started getting the "you're getting too skinny" around 150 ish (which puts me at a size 8 as well). I think you're right on the fact that they're used to seeing you a certain way, so it takes adjusting. Also, not sure about you but certain parts of me get pretty boney ( my chest, collarbones and face) while others stay a bit more "padded" so I appear a bit more gaunt than I am. I would try to take what they say as genuine love and concern... give them a hug and keep on with your journey. If they say it again, assure them you're healthy and happy and not to worry
    Best of luck!

    YES! YES! YES! I think you are absolutely right. My face has gotten thin but my chest and collarbone are very boney. You see all of my bones in my chest and my collarbones stick out so much. But i still have this mommy tummy and some thighs/hips. They dont see that though becuase its under clothes. Maybe next time they make a comment that im too thin ill just strip naked for them :wink:
  • BrunetteRunner87
    BrunetteRunner87 Posts: 591 Member
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    I had a friend compliment me on my weight loss, then ask me if I was planning on gaining any back (this guy is known for liking what he calls "curvy" girls...what he calls curvy, not what i would call curvy). That pissed me off, not everyone likes obese women like he does, but I let it go.
    No, I worked hard to lose it, don't plan on gaining it back.
  • Nessiechickie
    Nessiechickie Posts: 1,392 Member
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    My opinion and mine only.
    a person in my family would say to me "Your too skinny gain weight"... and then if i gain weight its "when are you going back to the gym". Never happy.. and if I was really skinny that was like hell on earth because then I was skinnier then what she was at my age. Can't please everyone.. but pleasing yourself can sometimes feel way better then making sure everyone around you is happy.
    That is really weird that your sister would say that being smaller.... any jealousy?
    But best advice is do what you want.
    I think you can totally do the 15-20lbs more that you want to lose.
    But obviously the healthy way.
    I don't think I would worry about what your sister says and have a talk with your mom.
    Hope that helps.
  • AFilmer
    AFilmer Posts: 22
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    I can totally relate to that. my parents tell me all the time that I need to stop working out.

    or they say that I'm going to starve my self and they even try and sneak junk food and fat into my meals....

    they put coconut oil all over a sandwich I was going to have. (it does not taste of anything but it has a ton of fat.)

    they say that I am doing very unhealthy things to my body but I tell them all the time that I am in fantastic shape!!!

    my mom constantly nags me to eat more fatty foods or dessert and to stop exercising.
    (I have not had a soda or a coffee in almost 3 years now. and I cant remember a dessert or candy that I have had within the past month or so.)

    I really don't understand this I am in amazing shape and feel very good all the time.

    I say do what you want its your body so you should have the decision on what to do with it.
  • dunnodunno
    dunnodunno Posts: 2,290 Member
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    I completely relate to this, grrrrrrrr.

    I went to my fiance's parents house this weekend and had to endure an awkward conversation with his parents about 'not taing it too far' and how I don't look like me anymore and how my face is 'too thin'. It was embarrassing and I didn't know how to respond at all...

    But what I really, really, really wanted to say to his family was this: "You are too fat. You are obese. Perhaps even morbidly obese. You wouldn't have the back problems, high blood pressure and other health complaints which you constantly winge about if you didn't eat so damn much. Lose some weight. You don't look like you anymore. You look like a fat pig."

    I hate how people think they have the right to comment on other people's weight loss, body image and goals.

    I had someone tell me to eat a cheeseburger the other week. I looked at them and point blank said, "I am still over 200 pounds!"
  • bullsfan22
    bullsfan22 Posts: 104
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    I feel like sometimes people want you to stay the fat friend/cousin haha... As long as you're doing it in a healthy way - keep going! Good job.

    This except its my mom who wants me to stay her fat lil baby, anytime I drop anything under 190 (happened a few times) she tells me to knock it off and eat something.
  • gigglybeth
    gigglybeth Posts: 365 Member
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    It's so funny that you bring this up, because I just was talking about this very thing this past weekend. It's like you go through a stage of everyone telling you how awesome you look. The next phase is about a pounds later everyone starts asking you, "Sooo how much more weight are you going to lose?" and comments about being anorexic and too slim start. It's like people are only comfortable with another person losing so much weight and then their perception of you starts to shift or something.
  • ellend17
    ellend17 Posts: 58
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    Firstly well done on your loss so far - good for you!
    I'm 5'7 and currently 144lbs and I definitely know how you feel! Always been bigger than my friends, and most of my family are overweight too, so when I started getting serious about wanting to lose weight and tone up, it got noticed. Now i get constant comments like 'oh you don't want to lose anymore, you're too skinny' or 'you're starting to look scrawny' but then when i treat myself to say a piece of cake (counting it in my calories and making sure i compensate with exercise) those same people tease me and say i shouldn't be eating it! SO frustrating!
    I know the comments genuinely come from concern that i'm overdoing it, but i'm not, and i love food too much to ever give it up altogether as they seem to think i will!

    I've now taken to just 'mmm'ing when someone brings it up, and when they ask how much more i want to lose i just say i don't want to lose anymore, just tone up (even though i'm aiming to lose 10 more lbs or so)

    Sorry, bit of a rant, but it's nice to know others get the hassle too, even though it's for our own good!
    Good luck with the rest of your weight loss, just keep doing what you're doing!
  • MarisaDLS2
    MarisaDLS2 Posts: 108 Member
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    I think there are common stages of weight loss we all go through.

    The amount of weight lost may vary from person to person,
    but each phase is characterized by friends/family's reactions:

    1. INITIATION - 10% (mine)
    You have lost weight but no one notices, no one comments.
    Your clothes are somewhat looser.
    You pout, you have been trying so hard!
    For me this was 20lbs.

    2. NOTICABLE CHANGE in BODY VOLUME - 18.6 % (mine)
    You have lost a significant amount of weight and are starting to look much better, much healthier.
    You have dropped several clothing sizes.
    Your face has thinned out.
    You can see your feet again! Your stomach is no longer blocking the view of your feet while you stand.
    Bones that have been encased in flesh are resurfacing.
    Why, hello knees! Hello, anklebones! Hiya, hipbones! Wristbones, you are looking sleek!
    Everyone starts to make positive comments on how good you look.
    However, you still have a significant amount of of weight to lose.
    35 lb mark for me
    (9 lbs before I get out of the obese category, still have 34 to go to be in healthy BMI).

    3. CLOSE to HEALTHY BMI - 38.5% (mine)
    People around you start worrying that you are anorexic, that you have an eating disorder.
    People who have not seen you since you were at your highest weight
    are afraid to bring up your weight loss
    because they think you have lost all that weight due to CANCER.
    (This happened to my husband after he lost 50 lbs).
    Your family thinks you will blow away in a stiff wind
    and start telling you to stop losing weight, to start eating "normally" again.

    They love you but secretly fear you will end up dying of anorexia like Karen Carpenter.
    (Google her, all you young 'uns!)

    My mom told me when I got to 117 at age 20, not to lose anymore because:
    "You are getting too skinny now, you won't have any figure left."

    "Gee, thanks, Mom!"

    ( I actually looked great from weight of 90 to 125 which is a healthy BMI for my height, 5'. )

    People are not comfortable with change and a lot of people don't know what a normal, healthy body looks like anymore.

    A larger percentage of people world-wide are overweight/obese than ever before. It's become an unhealthy "norm".

    My daughter was looking at my high school and college yearbooks and made the comment that everyone was "skinny".

    Most teens/college students/young adults in the 60s and 70s were within healthy normal BMI.

    Thin, healthy people are no longer the "norm".
  • emily_ebooks
    emily_ebooks Posts: 55 Member
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    I can totally relate to this. I'm 5'9 and I weigh 135 pounds—my starting weight was around 157—and if I ever bring up how I want to lose 10 more pounds my friends and family tell me to "stop losing weight" and "what, are you anorexic now?"

    It's so annoying. It's not like I'm trying to starve myself to death.
  • Tamm04
    Tamm04 Posts: 182 Member
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    I hear ya. My neighbor was telling me at that weight I looked sick, unhappy and too thin. The veins in my neck were sicking out (??). I gained a few and I'm working now to lose it and a few more. But her comments now tell me I'm obsessed, shouldn't lose more and that it's not healthy. She herself is trying to lose weight, but tells me she will NOT eat like me...and then is confused why she can't lose.

    I think everyone has their own ideas, and stubbornly share them. I try hard to block it out and do what I think is best, and check in on here to make sure. I just end up not responding to her and she moves on.
  • emily_ebooks
    emily_ebooks Posts: 55 Member
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    It's weird because almost everyone who tells me to stop losing weight is either overweight or obese. Anyone else notice this?
  • Tamm04
    Tamm04 Posts: 182 Member
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    It's weird because almost everyone who tells me to stop losing weight is either overweight or obese. Anyone else notice this?


    Yes!! I try hard to take it with a grain of salt..... I think they want company in their weight :)
  • kimmie185
    kimmie185 Posts: 550 Member
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    My aunt told me when I was 160lbs that I needed to stop losing weight because I was starting to look sick in the face.
    My ex sister-in-law told me mom that I needed to quit eating around her because it hurt her feelings when she was eating cheesburgers and fries and I was ordering salads.

    It's annoying, but I just ignore them and try to keep on progressing. I'm doing this for me not for them. :smile:
  • kimmie185
    kimmie185 Posts: 550 Member
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    It's weird because almost everyone who tells me to stop losing weight is either overweight or obese. Anyone else notice this?


    Yup!
    My ex sister-in-law is more than twice my size now and absolutely hated that I lost weight and always jumps at an oppportunity to talk smack. Must be a confidence thing or something....
  • crevices
    crevices Posts: 226 Member
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    i know how you feel. my whole family bugs me about my weight loss, i've lost 35lbs even though i wasn't really "fat" before, mostly chubby, but they still noticed. they complain about how unhealthy it looks etc. but i mean as long as you're certain that you're healthy don't worry about it.
  • mmddwechanged
    mmddwechanged Posts: 1,688 Member
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    It's really hard. The first time I got these comments ( from overweight family members) I gained it all back again.

    Now I am older. I told them once that it was very unhelpful. I still get remarks but I am very good at disregarding them now:) I just know that it's ok to understand that their unhelpful comments are only negatively sabataging something that is important to me now. It is ok to put me first in this regard:)

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