What Other People Think and Say... Why do you care?

SrMaggalicious

"Someone's got to like ME best!!!" - The Birdcage

jenny24012014

People care what other people think of them because that's how society works. The internet is now part of society and just because it's text on a screen that doesn't change the impact that it has.

NoelFigart1

GorillaEsquire wrote: »

Why do [we as a society] care what other people say? I truly mean anyone, but if it makes it easy to fathom, we'll limit the scope to "strangers."

Cultural attitudes. I'm fat and of a certain look. If I go into an emergency room in pain it will be automatically assumed I am doctor shopping. No medical personnel will listen to me unless I have my tall, handsome, deep-voiced husband there to tell them to check my medical records. (I've never, not once, refilled a pain prescription. In fact, I turn unused drugs back in Every. Single. Time.)

It's about the cultural attitude that because I look a certain way, other baggage is attached.

It's not about someone saying something nasty to me. If I need to (and in sober truth, I haven't since high school) I am clever enough with words and attitude to have some rude nitwit groveling on the floor sobbing for his mother in about five minutes if necessary. So, I couldn't care about that nonsense.

I DO care about whether or not a nurse will repeatedly take my damn blood pressure because no fat lady could POSSIBLY have normal blood pressure.

However, fat people are CULTURALLY CONDITIONED to think they don't deserve good things or nice treatment. Sure, sure, I'm scrappy as hell, and arrogant to boot, but fighting like an angry tiger every damn day of your life just to be treated as an intelligent, thinking, feeling human is exhausting and I don't think one should HAVE to be that way to get treated with common courtesy.

Or to get life-saving medical treatment. Or even appropriate preventative treatment.

lorib642

GorillaEsquire wrote: »

We have become a nation of 250 million individual little dictators.

"Bodyshaming" is one the latest buzz-words floating around social media, and how "horrible" and "awful" it is.

God forbid you ever say anything on a forum that someone else may disagree with, or even worse, find "offensive."

And we as a society have evolved this odd, "politically correct" fascism that promotes the idea that if you are "offended" or "hurt" by something someone says, that person shouldn't be allowed to say it at all. And, I personally find that entire premise, absolutely deplorable and repugnant.

So let's throw it out on the table.

Why do [we as a society] care what other people say? I truly mean anyone, but if it makes it easy to fathom, we'll limit the scope to "strangers."

Let's say someone calls you "too fat," or "too thin," or "too tall," or "too short," or "too healthy," or "not healthy enough" or... bla bla bla...

Why do [we as a society] care what other people think and say?

Discuss.

I don't find that at all. I find that people can be very free with their opinions and say things on-line they wouldn't say in person.

The rules change if you are a public figure. Is that what you meant?

I do think political correctness has gone too far. I was going to describe myself as a "spazz" once. but I wasn't sure if that was somehow an incorrect word now.

Why does society care? Because words have meaning. It's more than just semantics. Some words have a history of being used in a derogatory way.

I don't think society cares about me, as an individual. It is all the people in my category. And, it isn't everyone. It is people with their pet causes.


I have an example: I have a mental illness. I am okay with that term. I might even call myself "crazy" but I wouldn't refer to someone that was suffering, that way. I think they have enough to deal with without name-calling. But, mental health advocates have determined that "mental illness" is an incorrect term and we are to be called consumers. I think it is the stupidest thing. No one knows what that means. I do some speaking for education on mental illness and I use that term, but I don't like it.

I don't think society at large has an issue with the words "mental illness" or even ":insane" or "crazy". I don't like some of the words because they sound like I am out of control when I am not. But, I am not offended.

There is a push for people to stop using terms for mental illness for normal behavior: He's so bipolar, I am obsessive. I don't know how i feel about that. I think that is teetering on where things go too far. Would you have pulled back way before?

Noogynoogs

People can do and say what they want to me. I don't take anything on board. I am rather irratating in that respect. My hubby calls me " an island" .

NoelFigart1

GorillaEsquire wrote: »

NoelFigart1 wrote: »

I DO care about whether or not a nurse will repeatedly take my damn blood pressure because no fat lady could POSSIBLY have normal blood pressure.

Why?

Statistically overweight and obese people do have higher blood-pressure. The same way men are at higher risk for prostate cancer, and women are at higher risk for ovarian cancer.

It's science.

Why would you be offended that someone double-checked your medical condition to be certain you are healthy, and they are not committing malpractice?

Because statistical information about a population does not tell you much about a particular instance. I am not the whole of fat women in their forties. I am an individual patient and would like my words to be believed.

I have had doctors look at ME and not my chart and lecture me about blood pressure, too. When I tell them to look at my chart, they ignore that unless my husband is in the room.

If you argue with my reported experience, you're kinda proving my point, too. *shrugs*

Noogynoogs

Haha love it

Noogynoogs

It doesn't matter what people say or do to you, it's what you do to yourself that matters. If your internal dialogue is positive to yourself and your not pressing the " self destruct button". Namaste.

Noogynoogs

Love your humour. Are you British?

NoelFigart1

GorillaEsquire wrote: »

NoelFigart1 wrote: »

GorillaEsquire wrote: »

NoelFigart1 wrote: »

I DO care about whether or not a nurse will repeatedly take my damn blood pressure because no fat lady could POSSIBLY have normal blood pressure.

Why?

Statistically overweight and obese people do have higher blood-pressure. The same way men are at higher risk for prostate cancer, and women are at higher risk for ovarian cancer.

It's science.

Why would you be offended that someone double-checked your medical condition to be certain you are healthy, and they are not committing malpractice?

Because statistical information about a population does not tell you much about a particular instance. I am not the whole of fat women in their forties. I am an individual patient and would like my words to be believed.

I have had doctors look at ME and not my chart and lecture me about blood pressure, too. When I tell them to look at my chart, they ignore that unless my husband is in the room.

If you argue with my reported experience, you're kinda proving my point, too. *shrugs*

I think you're missing my point.

By your own words, medical staff are forming opinions based on one-of-two criteria.

A. They're doing their job as medical professionals and accounting for your weight in their diagnosis; or,
B. They're biased *kitten*-knockers.

If it's A. Great. They helped you and provided you with care and service.
If it's B. Who cares, they're an *kitten*-knocker.

B: I kinda care about the medical care I get. My delicate widdle feelings aren't the point