I'm 19 and have never had a boyfriend :(

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jazzy_45
jazzy_45 Posts: 101 Member
in Motivation and Support
Hey everyone I need some advice. I am 19 and like I said before I've never had a boyfriend. Never, :(. I've tried online dating (POF and tinder) but the guys there just want to hookup and I don't want just that. :( I graduated high school in June and right now I am taking the semester off. I work at Kohls, so I don't really meet guys there. Next semester I'm gonna start community college, but it's hard to meet people because I live in the suburbs and everyone just wants to go home after class.
I am a bit overweight still, but I think I carry it well and I have a pretty face and a nice personality, so it's not like I'm hideous or anything. I'm honestly depressed over this. I'm just so lonely and I just want someone to watch movies and cuddle by the fire with...is that really too much to ask for?:( How can I find someone like that? I feel like I'm foreveralone...does anyone else feel this way too?
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Replies

  • Fruitylicious03
    Fruitylicious03 Posts: 301
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    I'm 21 and I've never had one. I've never even had a first kiss yet. So I doubt I can help.
  • FaithfulJewel
    FaithfulJewel Posts: 177 Member
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    You won't be happy with someone else until you can be happy with yourself.

    And once you're happy with yourself, you will gain confidence and that will open up doors in your life, be it love, career or other things.

    Don't panic, life isn't a race.
  • Kristinemomof3
    Kristinemomof3 Posts: 636 Member
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    You're young, boyfriends are overrated. Be patient & take care of YOU. Your prince will show up when you aren't looking.
  • eldamiano
    eldamiano Posts: 2,667 Member
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    I am 31 and never had a boyfriend (but then I am a straight male....)
  • mikeshockley
    mikeshockley Posts: 684 Member
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    FaithfulJewel wrote: »
    You won't be happy with someone else until you can be happy with yourself.

    And once you're happy with yourself, you will gain confidence and that will open up doors in your life, be it love, career or other things.

    Don't panic, life isn't a race.

    What ^^^she^^ said
  • jlahorn
    jlahorn Posts: 377 Member
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    Go out and do things that interest you. Volunteer, use Meetup for activities you enjoy, go to free lectures and concerts, First Friday art walks, etc. Do it not as a way to meet guys, but as a way to have fun. That way, you're entertaining and sometimes educating yourself, plus expanding your social circle.
  • dramaqueen45
    dramaqueen45 Posts: 1,009 Member
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    Kristinemomof3 wrote: »
    You're young, boyfriends are overrated. Be patient & take care of YOU. Your prince will show up when you aren't looking.


    This x 10.
  • vamaena
    vamaena Posts: 217 Member
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    Ditto to what FaithfulJewel and Kristinemomo said.

    I didn't get my first boyfriend until I was 27. The relationship didn't last long because we weren't right for each other.

    You're young, enjoy yourself and don't look too hard. The right guy will come along.
  • Charliecatesq
    Charliecatesq Posts: 100 Member
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    Most people either meet online or through friends so you need to get out there and widen your social circle if hacking through the guys that are after one thing (and nothing wrong with that!) is too much hard work. Like someone else suggested, volunteer, start a new hobby, take a fitness class and get to meet people. Boyfriends do not just fall out of the sky sadly!
  • k8blujay2
    k8blujay2 Posts: 4,941 Member
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    Don't worry about it... I didn't have a boyfriend until I was 22... Just live and it will happen... In my opinion, when focusing on finding love over all else you will never find it... focus on other things and it will smack you in the face.
  • VeryKatie
    VeryKatie Posts: 5,952 Member
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    I wouldn't worry about it right now. Chances are you'll either meet someone in college (very common) or you'll meet someone after.

    Regarding online dating - you're on sites like POF and Tinder, of course all they want to do is hook up. The people who are looking for more serious relationships pay for their memberships on legitimate dating sites. I recommend Match.com or eHarmony. Pay for a membership and only meet up with men who also pay (you can tell because you'll be able to communicate on the actual site as well as see their pictures). Make sure to read the advice those sites give on how to be safe.
  • mojohowitz
    mojohowitz Posts: 900 Member
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    I think you will find community college to be a wonderful place to meet people. I discovered the people at my juco much more grounded and friendlier than the folks at the university I went to. Take a few trips to the community college and walk around, hit the bookstore, register for classes on the pc's at the college.
  • docklanders
    docklanders Posts: 31
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    I'm 21, 22 this month, and never had a boyfriend either. I know that it sucks to be alone right now, but i'm almost certain you'll find a lucky guy eventually. I know it's cliche but life is a marathon, not a sprint. The right guy is out there (hopefully for both of us!), it's all about being patient and staying positive in the meantime. :)
  • Acg67
    Acg67 Posts: 12,142 Member
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    jazzy_45 wrote: »
    Hey everyone I need some advice. I am 19 and like I said before I've never had a boyfriend. Never, :(. I've tried online dating (POF and tinder) but the guys there just want to hookup and I don't want just that. :( I graduated high school in June and right now I am taking the semester off. I work at Kohls, so I don't really meet guys there. Next semester I'm gonna start community college, but it's hard to meet people because I live in the suburbs and everyone just wants to go home after class.
    I am a bit overweight still, but I think I carry it well and I have a pretty face and a nice personality, so it's not like I'm hideous or anything. I'm honestly depressed over this. I'm just so lonely and I just want someone to watch movies and cuddle by the fire with...is that really too much to ask for?:( How can I find someone like that? I feel like I'm foreveralone...does anyone else feel this way too?

    It's cuffing season so those feels are normal. And yeah tinder prob isn't the best place to start looking for a bf

  • agal129
    agal129 Posts: 215 Member
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    Have you thought about going to church or joining a gym? Those are good places to meet people.
  • beardedwarriortx
    beardedwarriortx Posts: 238 Member
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    My ex gf had her first kiss, first date, first bf with me. She was 23 at the time and is now turning 24. Shes smart (a teacher) gorgeous, athletic, super in shape, and everything amazing. I only broke up with her because she was a bit clingy and would text me 200 times a day. Ok, I've lost my point lol... Oh yes, my point was.... You can be everything awesome and not have that special someone yet. When the time is right, they just come along. Go out, have fun, and just let life happen.
  • avoidtheclapp107
    avoidtheclapp107 Posts: 49 Member
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    The problem with being 19 is that a lot of "age appropriate" boys are ready to be boyfriends. There are so many girls that aren't looking for a relationship around to entertain them that they're not ready to settle into anything serious.
    At the same time, you don't need to find a hundred boys to date...you're only looking for one. and if you want to be super serious about it, POF and Tinder are probably not the best places to meet the most serious of daters. What about How bout we?
    In the end, I didn't have a boyfriend till I was 21...a month before my 22nd birthday...and in September we had our 8 year anniversary. Finding a boyfriend sucks [well, dating sucks]...but it'll be worth it and in the meantime date a lot, don't put out [if you don't want to], and use these experiences to see what you're looking for in your someday potential mate.

    Good luck!
  • davis978
    davis978 Posts: 103 Member
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    You are not alone - many people don't date until their college years or even after. It's hard to be lonely. I understand. But, you have to spend more time and energy focusing on becoming the person you want to be (and I don't mean physically), and that will make it more likely you will meet someone that wants to be with that person. As many others have said, you have to put yourself in places where other people are. But, don't think of this as waiting around to meet a guy. Put yourself in places you want to be, but happen to be social arenas (many people have given you great tips about what those places are). You are also going to have to be brave and strike up conversations with strangers. Also, continue to work on developing meaningful relationships with friends of both genders.
  • msf74
    msf74 Posts: 3,498 Member
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    Just wait till you're married. Then you'll never have sex...

    I kid, I kid.

    Your life will have many phases. Enjoy your youth even if it is without a partner because time is your most precious gift. I get that it sucks sometimes feeling like you are by yourself but don't let that stop you living your life to your fullest right now. When you get older the thing that you will probably regret most is not whether you had a boyfriend or not but letting your life and the opportunities it presents slip through your fingers...
  • runner475
    runner475 Posts: 1,236 Member
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    I don't know if this may help you. But I have daughter who is 19 years old (actually 18 turning 19 on this Sunday). She has decided to stay single until she checks off some very important things from her bucket list. She told me she likes it this way b'coz she is able to focus on herself.
    Like I said I'm not sure if this will help you in anyway but thought I would share of someone your age.

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