I'm 19 and have never had a boyfriend :(

jazzy_45

Hey everyone I need some advice. I am 19 and like I said before I've never had a boyfriend. Never, . I've tried online dating (POF and tinder) but the guys there just want to hookup and I don't want just that. I graduated high school in June and right now I am taking the semester off. I work at Kohls, so I don't really meet guys there. Next semester I'm gonna start community college, but it's hard to meet people because I live in the suburbs and everyone just wants to go home after class.
I am a bit overweight still, but I think I carry it well and I have a pretty face and a nice personality, so it's not like I'm hideous or anything. I'm honestly depressed over this. I'm just so lonely and I just want someone to watch movies and cuddle by the fire with...is that really too much to ask for?:( How can I find someone like that? I feel like I'm foreveralone...does anyone else feel this way too?

Fruitylicious03

I'm 21 and I've never had one. I've never even had a first kiss yet. So I doubt I can help.

FaithfulJewel

You won't be happy with someone else until you can be happy with yourself.

And once you're happy with yourself, you will gain confidence and that will open up doors in your life, be it love, career or other things.

Don't panic, life isn't a race.

Kristinemomof3

You're young, boyfriends are overrated. Be patient & take care of YOU. Your prince will show up when you aren't looking.

eldamiano

I am 31 and never had a boyfriend (but then I am a straight male....)

mikeshockley

FaithfulJewel wrote: »

You won't be happy with someone else until you can be happy with yourself.

And once you're happy with yourself, you will gain confidence and that will open up doors in your life, be it love, career or other things.

Don't panic, life isn't a race.

What ^^^she^^ said

jlahorn

Go out and do things that interest you. Volunteer, use Meetup for activities you enjoy, go to free lectures and concerts, First Friday art walks, etc. Do it not as a way to meet guys, but as a way to have fun. That way, you're entertaining and sometimes educating yourself, plus expanding your social circle.

dramaqueen45

Kristinemomof3 wrote: »

You're young, boyfriends are overrated. Be patient & take care of YOU. Your prince will show up when you aren't looking.

This x 10.

vamaena

Ditto to what FaithfulJewel and Kristinemomo said.

I didn't get my first boyfriend until I was 27. The relationship didn't last long because we weren't right for each other.

You're young, enjoy yourself and don't look too hard. The right guy will come along.

Charliecatesq

Most people either meet online or through friends so you need to get out there and widen your social circle if hacking through the guys that are after one thing (and nothing wrong with that!) is too much hard work. Like someone else suggested, volunteer, start a new hobby, take a fitness class and get to meet people. Boyfriends do not just fall out of the sky sadly!

k8blujay2

Don't worry about it... I didn't have a boyfriend until I was 22... Just live and it will happen... In my opinion, when focusing on finding love over all else you will never find it... focus on other things and it will smack you in the face.

VeryKatie

I wouldn't worry about it right now. Chances are you'll either meet someone in college (very common) or you'll meet someone after.

Regarding online dating - you're on sites like POF and Tinder, of course all they want to do is hook up. The people who are looking for more serious relationships pay for their memberships on legitimate dating sites. I recommend Match.com or eHarmony. Pay for a membership and only meet up with men who also pay (you can tell because you'll be able to communicate on the actual site as well as see their pictures). Make sure to read the advice those sites give on how to be safe.

mojohowitz

I think you will find community college to be a wonderful place to meet people. I discovered the people at my juco much more grounded and friendlier than the folks at the university I went to. Take a few trips to the community college and walk around, hit the bookstore, register for classes on the pc's at the college.

docklanders

I'm 21, 22 this month, and never had a boyfriend either. I know that it sucks to be alone right now, but i'm almost certain you'll find a lucky guy eventually. I know it's cliche but life is a marathon, not a sprint. The right guy is out there (hopefully for both of us!), it's all about being patient and staying positive in the meantime.

Acg67

jazzy_45 wrote: »

Hey everyone I need some advice. I am 19 and like I said before I've never had a boyfriend. Never, . I've tried online dating (POF and tinder) but the guys there just want to hookup and I don't want just that. I graduated high school in June and right now I am taking the semester off. I work at Kohls, so I don't really meet guys there. Next semester I'm gonna start community college, but it's hard to meet people because I live in the suburbs and everyone just wants to go home after class.
I am a bit overweight still, but I think I carry it well and I have a pretty face and a nice personality, so it's not like I'm hideous or anything. I'm honestly depressed over this. I'm just so lonely and I just want someone to watch movies and cuddle by the fire with...is that really too much to ask for?:( How can I find someone like that? I feel like I'm foreveralone...does anyone else feel this way too?

It's cuffing season so those feels are normal. And yeah tinder prob isn't the best place to start looking for a bf

agal129

Have you thought about going to church or joining a gym? Those are good places to meet people.

beardedwarriortx

My ex gf had her first kiss, first date, first bf with me. She was 23 at the time and is now turning 24. Shes smart (a teacher) gorgeous, athletic, super in shape, and everything amazing. I only broke up with her because she was a bit clingy and would text me 200 times a day. Ok, I've lost my point lol... Oh yes, my point was.... You can be everything awesome and not have that special someone yet. When the time is right, they just come along. Go out, have fun, and just let life happen.

avoidtheclapp107

The problem with being 19 is that a lot of "age appropriate" boys are ready to be boyfriends. There are so many girls that aren't looking for a relationship around to entertain them that they're not ready to settle into anything serious.
At the same time, you don't need to find a hundred boys to date...you're only looking for one. and if you want to be super serious about it, POF and Tinder are probably not the best places to meet the most serious of daters. What about How bout we?
In the end, I didn't have a boyfriend till I was 21...a month before my 22nd birthday...and in September we had our 8 year anniversary. Finding a boyfriend sucks [well, dating sucks]...but it'll be worth it and in the meantime date a lot, don't put out [if you don't want to], and use these experiences to see what you're looking for in your someday potential mate.

Good luck!

davis978

You are not alone - many people don't date until their college years or even after. It's hard to be lonely. I understand. But, you have to spend more time and energy focusing on becoming the person you want to be (and I don't mean physically), and that will make it more likely you will meet someone that wants to be with that person. As many others have said, you have to put yourself in places where other people are. But, don't think of this as waiting around to meet a guy. Put yourself in places you want to be, but happen to be social arenas (many people have given you great tips about what those places are). You are also going to have to be brave and strike up conversations with strangers. Also, continue to work on developing meaningful relationships with friends of both genders.

msf74

Just wait till you're married. Then you'll never have sex...

I kid, I kid.

Your life will have many phases. Enjoy your youth even if it is without a partner because time is your most precious gift. I get that it sucks sometimes feeling like you are by yourself but don't let that stop you living your life to your fullest right now. When you get older the thing that you will probably regret most is not whether you had a boyfriend or not but letting your life and the opportunities it presents slip through your fingers...

runner475

I don't know if this may help you. But I have daughter who is 19 years old (actually 18 turning 19 on this Sunday). She has decided to stay single until she checks off some very important things from her bucket list. She told me she likes it this way b'coz she is able to focus on herself.
Like I said I'm not sure if this will help you in anyway but thought I would share of someone your age.

LeslieB042812

I think that everyone who's said to focus on being happy with yourself are right. You can't really be happy with anyone else until you're happy on your own, with yourself. Once you find your own happiness, that will radiate out from you and will attract other people like flies to roadkill (sorry that's just the analogy that popped in my head).

With that said, it's also good to expand your circles. It will help you find what makes you happy and help you meet people.

And, one final note, while I don't know anything about tinder, I met my husband on POF, as did two of my girlfriends. Don't waste your money on the pay sites, they're no better.

Good luck!

LokomotivMordor

Try joining clubs and doing things you enjoy. You'll meet loads people with similar interests and who knows what can happen. At 19 I felt the exact same way as you, but I met a girl when I just turned 20 and least expected it.
Don't judge yourself on it, it doesn't mean you aren't worth it, just that you haven't met the right person yet.

AbbiKarper

Hi jazzy,
I'm in the same boat as you. I'm 19, about to be 20, and I haven't really had a boyfriend (only those immature things we call "dating" in high school where we say we're dating someone but only hang out with them at lunch with our circle of friends) and I've never been kissed. Sometimes I get lonely and want someone to cuddle with too, but I have faith that God will bring the right man to me when I'm ready, and I can honestly say I'm not ready yet. I still need to work on me.
Also, I learned a long time ago that the girls who've been dating since they were a freshman in high school and had their first kiss early and lost their virginity early are not as happy as those who waited until they found a person they really like. I was friends with a lot of girls that always needed to have a boyfriend, and they were constantly worrying about their looks, or what to say, or how to get a new boyfriend when their relationship ended. It was then that I realized I didn't want that for myself, so I stopped worrying as much. I'm not saying that I don't want a boyfriend: I do! I'm just saying that there are greater things in life than that. Having a boyfriend shouldn't be your life; it should add to the quality of your life.
And, last thing, don't let people tease you about never being kissed and being a virgin. I haven't been kissed and I'm staying pure until my wedding night, and that makes me so much happier even though I'm "alone". It's better to share those experiences with someone you truly love and who loves and respects you in return.
Don't give up! He's out there somewhere! Feel free to message me in case you need some moral support!

enterdanger

My best advice is to radiate confidence. I'm no Angelina Jolie and I've always been a little pudgy but never had an issue with dating (started at 14). However, I've always been happy with who I am with or without a boyfriend. People just seem to gravitate to that. Don't be afraid of making the first move, and remember that most 19 year old boys are probably a-holes anyway.

tidesong

Charliecatesq wrote: »

Boyfriends do not just fall out of the sky sadly!

Mine did! Well actually, he stepped off a plane, but that's close right?

OP: I echo what many other have said. You have to love yourself, be confident in yourself, and be comfortable in your own skin before love can bloom. Having a relationship does not make you a better person. It can complement your life, but we are not defined by our relationships. I started dating in high school. It was sophomore year until my first year in college. But while it was fun at first, we weren't meant to be and I started getting more and more miserable until I broke it off. Met someone online and moved across the country. (This was in 1997 mind you...when nobody did this.) We ended up getting married...but I was young and stupid, and he was young and even MORE stupid. He turned into a jerk and the marriage ended quite traumatically. Then I got into a relationship with ANOTHER jerk who treated me like crap. Moved back home and swore I wasn't dating anyone for a long time. That's when my now-fiance appeared in my life. We met online, too...and we dated 4 years long-distance (lots of flying!) because I was too scared to move it faster. I had been so screwed up from the bad relationships I'd had, and how badly my first marriage had ended that I was positive this was just going to end the same way. I moved out here 4 years ago, and we got engaged last year. We will marry in March. He is not the same as any of my other boyfriends/husband, thank G-d. I have had to do a lot of healing for this relationship to finally have gotten to the point where I am comfortable, and that was because I jumped into too many relationships too quickly and paid dearly for it.

But like Kristinemomof3 said: Your prince will show up when you're least expecting it. Be patient, and it will pay off. (I am 36 now, by the way. Ancient, I know....but take these words of wisdom from an old woman with too much experience in thinking I had to have a relationship to validate my own existence when I was so wrong about that....)

All my best to you. It *will* happen. When it's meant to happen. Enjoy life until then. When you are glowing from your own happiness, your prince will find you.

helenarriaza

I'm 24 and I've never had a boyfriend.

Then again, I am a lesbian.

Holly_Roman_Empire

It's easy to say this looking back, but I wouldn't make finding a boyfriend a priority right now. I got my first kiss when I was in high school, but I didn't have a boyfriend or go on a date until I was around twenty years old.

Even if it isn't by choice, own the fact that you haven't had a boyfriend yet. Do something with your life other than worrying about if you can get a man or not. Work on your confidence, and do whatever you have to do to improve your self-esteem.

I know it's all easier said than done, but once you get to my age, you'll realize how silly these sentiments were at age 19.

SpockAdventures

I had never had a boyfriend by the time I was 19. My first one was when I was 21 and that was a nightmare. I didn't have another, I went on dates but no boyfriends, and then when I was 22, nearly 23, I met this guy who seemed kind of cool - figured it would just be a date or two - and nine years later I love him more than I ever imagined I would. We were SO different - he has big tattoos, was punk rocker chic, very stylish...me? I wore a purple corduroy skirt and a polo shirt to our first date. Love will come when you least expect it, I had to stop looking to find the person I will spend the rest of my life with. In the meantime, enjoy your youth and freedom, go on dates even if you know they probably won't go anywhere, become buddies with people in your classes - even if it's under the initial pretense of studying or sharing notes or whatever. Love will happen, I promise!!!

wibutterflymagic

Seriously your 19. Enjoy being single. There is so much more to life at 19 then having a boyfriend. If you are feeling this way at such a young age then you must not feel good about yourself and feel you need someone to complete you. Go out with your friends and have fun, meet people, join social groups, volunteer. Stop focusing on finding someone to make you feel better because it won't until you feel good about yourself. Yes it can suck at times but focusing on what isn't won't make you feel any better.

yoovie

When is your deadline?