So ladies, what would a short guy have to do to get you to date them?

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  • njitaliana
    njitaliana Posts: 814 Member
    edited November 2014
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    My husband is short. His sense of humor and his compassion toward others attracted me.

    PS: I wouldn't just automatically assume that "women like tall guys." It's not a fact of life. None of my friends care about how tall a man is.
  • FatFreeFrolicking
    FatFreeFrolicking Posts: 4,252 Member
    edited November 2014
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    Uhfgood wrote: »
    mainly because of social anxiety

    Before you think about dating, you NEED to get your mental health under control. You should look into cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT).
  • EmotionalEater84
    EmotionalEater84 Posts: 311 Member
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    MsHarryWinston wrote: »
    He would need to be confident enough to not think of his height as some sort of dating handicap. Confident in general really. So you're short, so what? It shouldn't even cross your mind. That's how you get it done.

    This .. If it doesn't bother him, why should it bother me?

  • zyxst
    zyxst Posts: 9,134 Member
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    Ask?
  • ladyargentum
    ladyargentum Posts: 82 Member
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    My husband is about an inch shorter than I am. I never considered it an issue at all. For me it was all about the personality/ person. Yes he is confident and has a great sense of humor which were likely what attracted me in the first pace- along with us both loving Science!
  • lorib642
    lorib642 Posts: 1,942 Member
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    ask me out? My husband is my height 5'5"
  • madrose0715
    madrose0715 Posts: 463 Member
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    As a 5'9" woman, I will say height does come into play for me as far as initial attraction goes. However, 2 of my most significant relationships were with men about an inch shorter than me, lol. I do admit to now being kinda hung up on this height thing now. It is my issue though - not any potential guy. My issue being someone who has always been the 'big' girl (not so much anymore) but my mind still associates as the amazon chick wanting a man bigger than her, physically, mentally, intellectually, etc...So, I am sad to say it would be very difficult for a man shorter than me to get my attention right now. Maybe one day that will change if I can change my own head space about it...
  • silentKayak
    silentKayak Posts: 658 Member
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    Sadly, most women are as stupid about men's height as most men are about women's weight.

    However:

    - many women are as short as you or shorter. A lot of women are uncomfortable (for some stupid reason) being with men taller than them, so short women should be fine with your height.
    - many women don't care about height one way or another
    - a few women (like me!) actually prefer short men. I don't think it's any stranger than how some men prefer larger women.
    - Be realistic. You're not perfect, and neither are most women. You will not attract a "perfect 10". However, there are plenty of women who get very little attention from men due to not being traditionally beautiful, model-thin, or whatever. You'll do just fine with the over-40-and-overweight crowd. You may need cougar repellent :)
    - focus on friendship first. Dating, romance, and physical intimacy may come later. I won't say that physical attractiveness doesn't matter. Maybe it shouldn't, but it does. But for many women, emotional and intellectual connection trumps any physical features. Be genuinely interested in women, and seek out women with the same interests as yourself.
    - There's been a few times I've dated a man who on first glance wasn't just "okay" but I actually thought was unattractive. Usually it was because he had a very strong personality, more than just "OK" but either really fun/funny, or else we really connected on a deeper level.
    - you can't control your height, but you can control your weight and fitness level. Work on the parts you can control. A man who's 5'4" and very fit will be far more attractive than a man who's 6'0" and seriously out of shape. Unfortunately, at your height, even a little extra weight makes a big difference.

    Good luck!
  • Silverdracos
    Silverdracos Posts: 110 Member
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    I've only dated one man shorter than me, the problem was lack of chemistry not height. My ExH was only two inches taller than me but our respective postures made people assume he was the shorter one. He had no shortage of female attention, but he also had an attention grabbing personality.

    I'd recommend meeting women in places outside of the bar, where you both have a reason to be there. Like volunteering in the community, or local theater (start by helping out backstage if being in front of people makes you nervous) . Also remember superficial people judge you superficially. Feel free to judge anyone who thinks you're too short to be too shallow for you to waste your time on anyway.
  • Uhfgood
    Uhfgood Posts: 128 Member
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    I tend to think that those women who've dated shorter guys that "didn't work out" had at least something to do with their height even if just slightly psychologically.

    MsHarryWinston - I like your attitude :-)

    madrose0715 - You *might* be the only honest person here ;-)

    Therealblackdahlia - I wouldn't say fixated, however there are studies showing women generally prefer taller men here's a link to a (random) forum post that links a few studies in the first post - http://www.city-data.com/forum/relationships/676363-its-fact-short-men-dont-stand.html (you can ignore the rest of the thread, as I just didn't want to place multiple urls in here)

    Silverdracos - Looked at your profile, points for Krull.

    I realize confidence is a big deal, but that's with anything really and as I said there's tons of info on what you should do to be able to date was just more curious with your perspectives on the height thing with regards to dating.

    For me my height is kind of an issue, but since I've never dated I don't know about if it would be an issue for that. People tend not to notice you (in general not just women) as much unless you're loud and obnoxious (hence napoleon complexes). Then there are things like being able to see over the heads of people in crowds. For instance movie theaters (and it's usually some big dude that sits in front of me), or watching parades (been to Disneyworld since I moved down here and watched a few). Seeing over counters (this is not totally bad, but sometimes can be a thing). Not to mention public restrooms and clothes that properly fit (exacerbated by my obesity).

    In any case thanks for the responses :-)
  • ButBurgersAreDelicious
    ButBurgersAreDelicious Posts: 60 Member
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    xfinity.comcast.net/slideshow/entertainment-lankyladieslittlelads/7/

    Tom Cruise is 5"7, a scant three inches taller than yourself.

    I prefer a taller man, because I feel freakishly tall, and my fiance makes me feel dainty. Not something I have ever felt before. Have I dated shorter? Hells yeah. Did I like dating them? Hells yeah. It didn't work because they were super duper skinny and I felt like a heifer.
  • salembambi
    salembambi Posts: 5,592 Member
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    my moms boyfriend is 4'9 I think and she is 5'3....my dad is 6'5/6'6 lololo

    the point is some women do not give a single fvck about height and you should not let it be something that holds you back :)
  • SrMaggalicious
    SrMaggalicious Posts: 495 Member
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    I'm 5ft 1, so if you can lick your own eyebrows, your height won't matter, besides, we're all the same height horizontal. If you make it a big issue, it will be. If you DGAF, it won't matter. Strutt your stuff.
  • Torontonius
    Torontonius Posts: 245 Member
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    Uhfgood wrote: »
    So quick background before I go into the topic in question: I'm 39, and 5'4" straight male, who's never been on a date in his life and probably will never be on one, mainly because of social anxiety, that said.

    We've heard about how for the most part women like taller men, it's a fact of life. You may be the exception to the rule. I'm mostly curious. I'm not interested in things that make guys datable because there is tons of info everywhere telling you how you should act and what to do. I'm talking strictly if a short male (shorter than you are) wanted to date you, what would he have to do to get you to look his way? Or if you would even consider a man shorter than you are as dating material.

    I'm mostly curious because we short guys usually get short shrift in a lot of things, that's why you have guys with napoleon complexes and short dudes who really are jerks because of their height. (I'm not one of those however, I'm usually pretty personable when around people even though I'm normally too nervous for any social interaction.)

    Dude, I have a friend who is 5'3 and picked up more women than you could possibly imagine before he got married to a really great girl - who's taller than he is.

    It's all attitude, style and confidence. Your height is only an impediment if you think it is.

  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
    edited November 2014
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    I'm 5'2". So 5'4" would not be too short for me. If the guy is himself. Confident (not arrogant). A bit funny helps (not constant). I like quirkiness. Lifting weights is good because even though you are short, you can still seem big to a short girl. My brother is not tall, but he seems really big in comparison to me because I have a very petite bone structure, and he is built up and very strong (nothing excessive, just regular strength training). We both like to dance and he can lift me like I'm a feather. Honestly, when a short guy dances and does martial arts (or even yoga) that is a real plus, but not a requirement. I like a lot of short guys that I dance with (some are slim and agile, but very strong). Being smart is good (interesting conversations happen naturally). Treating a girl well and with respect is always a plus. Pete Dinklage is very very short, and I'm sure he has no trouble with the ladies. He is quirky, artistic, confident, and sexy.
  • fitgirlandfoodie
    fitgirlandfoodie Posts: 1,014 Member
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    I'm 5'10.5 ...I've never dated anyone taller than me..not by choice or anything..tbh I've always felt like a giant beside my bf's..I don't tend to be attracted to someone by their height..personality, a beard, and a some care to their personal appearance and I'm good :)
  • mjrkearney
    mjrkearney Posts: 408 Member
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    I'm only 5'0, so I haven't met too many adult men who were shorter than me. The only ones I can think of either had a form of dwarfism or had aged to the point of shrinking. Anyway. Not helpful here.

    I like a man who can get my attention and keep it. A man who is tall enough to climb won't always be worth the effort if there is nothing going on at the top. Also, if he can't make me smile, he won't last more than a couple minutes.
  • Uhfgood
    Uhfgood Posts: 128 Member
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    A little bit more honesty, I like it. But I defer back to my original question, those of you that don't date shorter men for various reasons, what would cause you to say yes to a shorter guy? Let's assume the guy is pretty confident, funny, nice, in good shape and let's assume another all around great guy has all those things but he's taller, what would cause you to take a chance on the short guy?

    Obviously the original post is a bit of a loaded question, I wasn't so much looking for advice, but just some insight and like I said I was curious.

    I don't really have any aspirations to go dating. I would really have to get my stuff together to even think about anything like that. At the same time I would be remiss to say I wasn't interested in it at all otherwise I wouldn't have posed the question.
  • JeffseekingV
    JeffseekingV Posts: 3,165 Member
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    everyone is the same height in bed

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