So ladies, what would a short guy have to do to get you to date them?

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  • MsHarryWinston
    MsHarryWinston Posts: 1,027 Member
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    everyone is the same height in bed
    No. No they are very much not. Lol.
  • Uhfgood
    Uhfgood Posts: 128 Member
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    Well I'm 5'7.5" barefoot and I do like to wear heels and wedges. I wouldn't immediately diss a guy because of his height, but being tall is definitely a plus. Personality and having a connection with someone is much more important than something they can't help though.
    Good luck OP. :)

    Definitely!
  • cakebatter07
    cakebatter07 Posts: 814 Member
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    everyone is the same height in bed
    No. No they are very much not. Lol.

    That's what she said!
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
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    Op, thank you for explaining. I understand a lot better from your explanations (I didn't before). I think it's good that you are looking to understand and learn. And I do understand that this is a challenge for you. And I know this is real. Height can be a real issue for men. And, I don't know how to explain this, but you aren't alone. Lots of people have obstacles and insecurities for many reasons that aren't visible to others (but are a real challenge for them). Most people don't talk about it. But, by talking about it you can make progress getting past it.

    When we say confidence we really mean being yourself, being genuine. That really matters a lot. Trust me. There are all kinds of people in this world, with all kinds of obstacles that find a girlfriend.

    You seem like a great guy. I hope this thread will be helpful. I hope you will find what you are looking for.

    I think it starts with how you feel about yourself. And then finding the right place to meet women. And for yourself to be open to getting to know different women.
  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,003 Member
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    By not being whiny and insecure. Also a dig bick and a big bank account helps. :bigsmile:
  • MsHarryWinston
    MsHarryWinston Posts: 1,027 Member
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    everyone is the same height in bed
    No. No they are very much not. Lol.

    That's what she said!

    BAZINGA!
  • Uhfgood
    Uhfgood Posts: 128 Member
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    randomtai wrote: »
    By not being whiny and insecure. Also a dig bick and a big bank account helps. :bigsmile:

    I expect my, uhh, 'male aptitude' to be commensurate with my frame.

    I'll have to work on the bank account.
  • emdeesea
    emdeesea Posts: 1,823 Member
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    I have several thoughts but I'm going to keep my message as short as possible.

    You complain about your height, but I think your problem lies way deeper than that. I noticed on your profile that you are 39, don't drive, and live at home.

    A lot of women could look past a guy who is on the short side, because really for an intellectually mature woman a connection is way more important than height, but most women are not going to be able to look past the fact that you don't drive and live with your dad.

    If you have social anxiety, you're going to have to deal with that. I can say that because I also have horrible social anxiety and I had a few of the same problems you do. I lived at home for a long time and had never really had a serious relationship. I chalked it up to the fact that I'm not particularly conventionally attractive and there's not much I can do about that. I can lose weight and style my hair, but I can't change my nose or my big feet or my deep voice. But the thing that I could change was my attitude, so I sucked it up, dealt with the social anxiety, moved out of my parents house for good, got some education, traveled to Europe a bit on my own, etc., and I feel I've come a pretty long way. I still deal day to day with the anxiety, but I also know I can handle myself.

    I think it would be really good for you to break out of this shell you've built for yourself. Don't worry so much about the height issue because I don't think that's what's holding you back.

  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,527 Member
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    Uhfgood wrote: »
    I'm mostly curious because we short guys usually get short shrift in a lot of things, that's why you have guys with napoleon complexes and short dudes who really are jerks because of their height. (I'm not one of those however, I'm usually pretty personable when around people even though I'm normally too nervous for any social interaction.)
    In correlation, a lot of professional bodybuilders don't exceed 6 feet in height. In fact many of them are under 5'8" and majority about 5'6". Can't build tall so they build out.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    9285851.png

  • Uhfgood
    Uhfgood Posts: 128 Member
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    emdeesea wrote: »
    I have several thoughts but I'm going to keep my message as short as possible.

    You complain about your height, but I think your problem lies way deeper than that. I noticed on your profile that you are 39, don't drive, and live at home.

    A lot of women could look past a guy who is on the short side, because really for an intellectually mature woman a connection is way more important than height, but most women are not going to be able to look past the fact that you don't drive and live with your dad.

    If you have social anxiety, you're going to have to deal with that. I can say that because I also have horrible social anxiety and I had a few of the same problems you do. I lived at home for a long time and had never really had a serious relationship. I chalked it up to the fact that I'm not particularly conventionally attractive and there's not much I can do about that. I can lose weight and style my hair, but I can't change my nose or my big feet or my deep voice. But the thing that I could change was my attitude, so I sucked it up, dealt with the social anxiety, moved out of my parents house for good, got some education, traveled to Europe a bit on my own, etc., and I feel I've come a pretty long way. I still deal day to day with the anxiety, but I also know I can handle myself.

    I think it would be really good for you to break out of this shell you've built for yourself. Don't worry so much about the height issue because I don't think that's what's holding you back.

    Sorry if it sounded like complaining. I was just replying to someone that said I was making excuses. I was genuinely curious about the question I posed, nothing more than that. I wanted to post that I had social anxiety mostly so that any women who replied didn't think I was trying to use it as way to find potential 'mates' (that sounds bad to me, but you get what I mean). I was just trying to assure everyone that I wasn't really looking to get advice about dating but just was posting for fun.

    That's also why I clarified that I don't aspire to date, because I need to fix a whole lot of things about myself before I even think of anything.

    You're right I need to get my junk together, but it may or may not happen. Anyway thanks for the advice :-)
  • Uhfgood
    Uhfgood Posts: 128 Member
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    ninerbuff wrote: »
    Uhfgood wrote: »
    I'm mostly curious because we short guys usually get short shrift in a lot of things, that's why you have guys with napoleon complexes and short dudes who really are jerks because of their height. (I'm not one of those however, I'm usually pretty personable when around people even though I'm normally too nervous for any social interaction.)
    In correlation, a lot of professional bodybuilders don't exceed 6 feet in height. In fact many of them are under 5'8" and majority about 5'6". Can't build tall so they build out.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    9285851.png


    Yeah I've heard it's easier or faster for us to get bigger. I would like to do some building, but I'm not going to a gym anytime soon, and I don't have the money, or the space to buy a full weight set.

    My Dad and I are talking about getting some dumbbells because I can at least do that, especially when we tend to move quite a bit, it would be easier to move those than an olympic barbell and a power rack
  • The_Aly_Wei
    The_Aly_Wei Posts: 844 Member
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    The shortest man i have dated was 5'4". He also weighed less than me at 120 lbs and had a 19 inch waist. He was a fighter in his spare time so his build was something he chose to further his craft. What i found attractive about him was his sparkling smile and his ease to show it. He was a person that was full of joy. He made me happy to be around him, even though he did make me look larger than i wanted to in photos beside him. There are good physical and bad physical qualities to everyone. Make what you like about yourself shine (both physical attributes and non), and that is seen by others no matter who happens to be surrounding you. All others? No. The others that will be the ones that matter? Yep.
  • Mikel423
    Mikel423 Posts: 579 Member
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    I am 5'8" and while height is not really a concern of mine, I don't think I have ever dated a girl taller than myself...not opposed to it, just never have
  • shadowofender
    shadowofender Posts: 786 Member
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    So I'm 6' and I've never dated a man taller than me. I've also never dated one heavier than me.

    The shortest ex bf I've had was 5'4'' and we dated for years with no issues. I've also got an ex gf who was 5' even, still no issues.

    I don't wear heels often because I have tibial torsion and it's hard to walk with heels, but when I do pop them on I'm anywhere from 6'3'' to 6'5'' and my 5'7'' bf couldn't care less, and neither do I.

    There are a lot of things I care a lot more about than height, I'm a giant for a woman, so it's never been on my radar.
  • happysquidmuffin
    happysquidmuffin Posts: 651 Member
    edited November 2014
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    So I dated this guy who I initially wasn't that attracted to, because he was the short, chubby type. I'm 5'3", he was 5''6", so it wasn't like he was shorter than me, but I still saw him as short right off the bat. My whole life leading up to then I hadn't dated that much, but had mainly been attracted to tall guys - like 5'10" to 6'5".
    - Guess what - I've been married to this "short" guy for 2.5 years now, and I love him. Know what attracted me to him and by the end of our first date made me completely disregard his height? He exuded confidence and was funny and charming. He had a great smile and dressed nicely and smelled good. He was just himself - he wasn't a short guy trying to act like a tall guy, he was just a plain freakin awesome human being.

    *Disclaimer -Hon, if you read, this, I love you and you're not short. Or chubby. You're freakin hot :):) ;P
  • VeryKatie
    VeryKatie Posts: 5,931 Member
    edited November 2014
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    I don't see the point in trying. Unless you're tall, super confident and a bit arrogant and straight forward, women aren't interested and will make you feel as *kitten* as possible about it.

    Wow that's not true at all. I hope this was sarcastic. My boyfriend isn't tall, super confident, or arrogant. He's just kind, funny, compassionate and is very my type! He's about 3" taller than me. But there was a guy I kind of liked in the past who was 2" shorter than me. But he was nice, but arrogant and too picky about women's looks so I decided he was too shallow to seriously consider. A little awkward because I ended up working with him.

    Also, a good smile goes a long way and is attainable if you don't have one right now. I don't know. I didn't look at any pictures.
  • Megan101792
    Megan101792 Posts: 3,194 Member
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    sorry never dated a guy shorter than me. just not attracted to them
  • loribethrice
    loribethrice Posts: 620 Member
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    Uhfgood wrote: »
    So quick background before I go into the topic in question: I'm 39, and 5'4" straight male, who's never been on a date in his life and probably will never be on one, mainly because of social anxiety, that said.

    We've heard about how for the most part women like taller men, it's a fact of life. You may be the exception to the rule. I'm mostly curious. I'm not interested in things that make guys datable because there is tons of info everywhere telling you how you should act and what to do. I'm talking strictly if a short male (shorter than you are) wanted to date you, what would he have to do to get you to look his way? Or if you would even consider a man shorter than you are as dating material.

    I'm mostly curious because we short guys usually get short shrift in a lot of things, that's why you have guys with napoleon complexes and short dudes who really are jerks because of their height. (I'm not one of those however, I'm usually pretty personable when around people even though I'm normally too nervous for any social interaction.)

    There are a lot of nice and attractive short men. My issue is that I'm 5'9½ and I feel like an Amazon when I am standing near a man that is not at least 5'10 and it gives me a bad complex. I've only ever been able to date men that are my height or taller because of that. It's a mental block thing. My sister is 5'11 and her boyfriend is only 5'7 or 5'8 and they've been together for almost a decade, so a lot of taller women will date shorter guys. I've had FWB relationships with shorter guys, but I've never been in a relationship with one. There have been ones who have caught my eye, but my own issues with my height ruin any chances.
  • dbmata
    dbmata Posts: 12,951 Member
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    I'm short at 5'10".

    Be confident, the horizontal dance card will fill up quick.
  • cindytw
    cindytw Posts: 1,027 Member
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    I have never dated anyone shorter than me but I have dated a few SMALLER than me. It made me feel huge and fat an just unsexy to be bigger than my boyfriend! When my boyfriend wears jeans the size of my left thigh it really hurts my self esteem! I think height wouldn't be as much an issue as build. I am a stocky, solid build even at my best and thinnest. I would have to have a stocky guy or it wouldn't work. Dating a small, skinny man really messed with my head!