Is phony fatso flattery a thing?

malavika413

BZAH10 wrote: »

malavika413 wrote: »

MsHarryWinston wrote: »

malavika413 wrote: »

Same thing happens to women, too. I've had a few guy friends in the past that tell me I'm cute or pretty, but when it comes down to dating me I'm either too chubby or too ethnic for them. I'm just glad I've found the guy I want to marry, so I hopefully won't have to deal with that BS anymore.

"Too ethnic"?? What. The. Eff?

No one here wants to date an Indian girl. I have actually heard "You're cute, but I don't do darker girls" and "Don't your parents have a 45 year old lined up for you?" I think the second guy was joking, but it stings. If current relationship doesn't work out long-term, I'm moving somewhere with more diversity.

Well, I DO hope your current relationship works if you are happy, but if not, definitely move! You deserve much better treatment than that. Goodness, talk about closed-minded people...

Thank you! Honestly, I was a bit worried at first when I heard I was the only Indian person BF had ever met, but he accepts me and my culture just fine! Now, if only I can accept his...he keeps trying to get me to try mashed potatoes and gravy, haha.

arrrrjt

Yes it happens, but I have just as many skinny, or non obese, friends that need encouragement to go meet women - and I don't want to sleep with them either..

CrusaderSam

sheepotato wrote: »

CrusaderSam wrote: »

This woman is being fake with you and she is not your friend.

Fake friend = you are such a catch
Real friend= I know just the right person for you, I will bring them by later

Fake friends will just tell you they want to see you do better. Real friends want to see you do well, and will get their hands a little dirty to make it happen.

This is just silly, I will help someone move, bring them food when they are sick or watch their kid or even hold their hair while they vomit but I'm no one's pimp. If I genuinely thought two of my friends would work out I may introduce them but really I'm 31 and the youngest of my friends. Most of them are on their second marriage at this point, the only people I know that are single anymore are guys. I guess that makes me fake and a liar if I tell one of them I'd like to see them happy right?

All the guys posting so ready to jump on the women are fake train seem to miss the fact that the original poster made 'friends' with hot girls with the expectation of being more than friends. I'm sorry but I think that makes him less of a catch if he's being disingenuous with his friends. She was put in an awkward situation by someone she thought was her friend and wasn't sure how to proceed without hurting him further that doesn't mean she had lied to him. If anything it means she still cares about his feelings, because she could have flat out told him she wasn't interested instead of trying to be nice about it.

Do any of you guys actually believe what you are saying or just in the habit of bashing any woman who doesn't want to sleep with you?

Oh shut up, setting people up is not pimping them out. I said both men and women do this kind of stuff and over more then just relationships. Look I am no angle, I have told people stuff they have wanted to hear all the time to get what I want, or because it was easy. Everyone has done this stuff. He doesn't have to be friends with her if he doesn't want to be, and she doesn't have to date him if she doesn't want to.

A lot of times, we as humans cant help who we like or don't. Now what is a real *kitten* thing is trying to shame someone for liking whoever they do or don't(black, white, gay, whatever). To try and make the op feel bad for having normal human feeling...why would you do something like that.

Or did I just hit a nerve because you have a phone with 30+ friend zoned guys warming up the bench.

MsHarryWinston

CrusaderSam wrote: »

sheepotato wrote: »

CrusaderSam wrote: »

This woman is being fake with you and she is not your friend.

Fake friend = you are such a catch
Real friend= I know just the right person for you, I will bring them by later

Fake friends will just tell you they want to see you do better. Real friends want to see you do well, and will get their hands a little dirty to make it happen.

This is just silly, I will help someone move, bring them food when they are sick or watch their kid or even hold their hair while they vomit but I'm no one's pimp. If I genuinely thought two of my friends would work out I may introduce them but really I'm 31 and the youngest of my friends. Most of them are on their second marriage at this point, the only people I know that are single anymore are guys. I guess that makes me fake and a liar if I tell one of them I'd like to see them happy right?

All the guys posting so ready to jump on the women are fake train seem to miss the fact that the original poster made 'friends' with hot girls with the expectation of being more than friends. I'm sorry but I think that makes him less of a catch if he's being disingenuous with his friends. She was put in an awkward situation by someone she thought was her friend and wasn't sure how to proceed without hurting him further that doesn't mean she had lied to him. If anything it means she still cares about his feelings, because she could have flat out told him she wasn't interested instead of trying to be nice about it.

Do any of you guys actually believe what you are saying or just in the habit of bashing any woman who doesn't want to sleep with you?

Oh shut up, setting people up is not pimping them out. I said both men and women do this kind of stuff and over more then just relationships. Look I am no angle, I have told people stuff they have wanted to hear all the time to get what I want, or because it was easy. Everyone has done this stuff. He doesn't have to be friends with her if he doesn't want to be, and she doesn't have to date him if she doesn't want to.

A lot of times, we as humans cant help who we like or don't. Now what is a real *kitten* thing is trying to shame someone for liking whoever they do or don't(black, white, gay, whatever). To try and make the op feel bad for having normal human feeling...why would you do something like that.

Or did I just hit a nerve because you have a phone with 30+ friend zoned guys warming up the bench.

Ho.Lee.Cr*p. My first response to this was that you need to watch your d*mn mouth. But after a moment of a few deep breaths I'm going to rephrase that too...

You misinterpreted what was trying to be said. She posted this obviously semi-flippant choice of words in response to someone saying that if we tell a person they are a catch but don't then have someone to set them up with then we are a "fake friend". The point is that it is NOT a friends responsibility to find our friends dates! It's not our job, it's NOT a friendship requirement.
Also, does this expectation only work for hetero intersex friendships? If I tell my girlfriends they are amazing am I a fake friend if I don't then shove the perfect man in their lap?
The males on this thread are frickin rediculous. Gawd forbid a female sees that your a great person but DOESNT want to *kitten* you. How DARE she. What a fake lieing b*tch.

CrusaderSam

Its not a friends responsibility to do anything, but real friends want to see each other happy so they will make an effort to make that happen. If you are not willing to do this for a person then dont count on them to do the same for you. At that point they are just another person that you know and hang out with every so often.

I know at this point I am going off on a tangent but I wouldnt have reached my goal if I didn't have real friends. I know a lot of people that just want to go out have a good time and didnt care at all if it hurt me and set me back. My real friends understood I had to do the things I needed to do because I had to do them. You know nothing says, I care, more then making someone feel like crap for no reason. More then a work out plan, or a diet, or this site, it was my real friends that helped me, they saved my life. I would do anything for them. If you want someone to do that for you, you have to be willing to do that for someone else.

The people that tell you how great you are doing with your weight then shoving cake at you and making you feel like crap for not having some are not your real friends. A real friend wont spit in your face and tell you its just rain. If you have a friend that is a painter and you like their work you buy it, if you think it sucks you dont. If you go telling your friends how great their art is and sucks you are being fake. If you say its great but its not, and they ask you to buy it, well you are stuck. If you are a real friend, and you said it, you dish out the cash, take the horrid painting and keep your mouth shut next time. What you can't do, is say yeah its an awesome painting...you know for someone else. That is just being a fake *kitten* friend period.