What's your biggest weight loss / fitness pet peeve?
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Yep, my husband just recently found this out!obscuremusicreference wrote: »concordancia wrote: »lemurcat12 wrote: »
"I also hate when people who look thinnner than me tell me how horrible they look and that they need to lose weight because they are hideous. people dont even think about how thing like that are not only self depricating which is bad enough but also inulting to me, because if you look bad you are pretty much telling me i am even more hideous."
How someone feels about their own body has absolutely nothing to do with you...
Anybody at any size can have body issues and being thinner doesn't make their feelings less important. You being bigger doesn't make your feelings more important.
I agree with this, but I also know that it's natural to assume that someone who thinks she's disgusting at 110 probably thinks it's more disgusting to be 200, even if she's way more judgmental of herself than she would be of anyone else. I've learned not to be bothered by people's expressions of body insecurity, but the real takeaway for me is to realize that others could be hurt by me going on negatively about my own body, so it's probably rude and a good thing to avoid.
It's also a good reminder not to do something that I think is unhelpful and negative, and to remind myself that I don't think that way about other people's bodies, so should not about mine. IMO, there often is a connection between how judgmental you are of yourself and the standards you apply to others, though.
I once had a friend who was slim and athletic say to myself and another overweight woman that she couldn't possibly go to the beach because she had gained five pounds and would be embarrassed to put on a bathing suit, people would think it was disgusting. I asked if she walked along the beach thinking that about other people and she said "Yes, of course!"
Perhaps what she meant was that she couldn't possibly go to the beach with us, but I still choose to believe she had some real issues.
True. And I have female relatives who make statements like that about themselves as a way to shame others. So when someone says that about themselves, I've been hard-wired to think it's a passive-aggressive slight. Whether you mean it that way or not, I assume you're negging me.
As to the mens sizing, let me assure you that a size 32"32" does not mean the same thing from brand to brand. Vanity sizing is alive and well in the mens department too.
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Mine is people opposite sabotaging me...
For instance, my mom is the one who got me on MFP, and of course I am forever grateful for that. She is maintaining right now, while I still have 13ish lbs. to lose. However, she thinks the fact that I am still losing means that I have cut treats (candy, cookies, chips, etc.) out of my diet, when in fact it is the opposite. So, for Halloween, while she sent my younger brother a care package with candy and snacks, she sent me a care package filled with Subway gift cards and cooking utensils.
Don't get me wrong, I didn't want tons of candy (or as much as my brother got at least), but it kind of sucked that she thought I would binge on Reese's cups instead of properly portioning them out like I have learned to do. I don't think she did it maliciously, but I have to keep reminding her that this is a lifestyle change and that means candy sometimes.0 -
obscuremusicreference wrote: »concordancia wrote: »lemurcat12 wrote: »
"I also hate when people who look thinnner than me tell me how horrible they look and that they need to lose weight because they are hideous. people dont even think about how thing like that are not only self depricating which is bad enough but also inulting to me, because if you look bad you are pretty much telling me i am even more hideous."
How someone feels about their own body has absolutely nothing to do with you...
Anybody at any size can have body issues and being thinner doesn't make their feelings less important. You being bigger doesn't make your feelings more important.
I agree with this, but I also know that it's natural to assume that someone who thinks she's disgusting at 110 probably thinks it's more disgusting to be 200, even if she's way more judgmental of herself than she would be of anyone else. I've learned not to be bothered by people's expressions of body insecurity, but the real takeaway for me is to realize that others could be hurt by me going on negatively about my own body, so it's probably rude and a good thing to avoid.
It's also a good reminder not to do something that I think is unhelpful and negative, and to remind myself that I don't think that way about other people's bodies, so should not about mine. IMO, there often is a connection between how judgmental you are of yourself and the standards you apply to others, though.
I once had a friend who was slim and athletic say to myself and another overweight woman that she couldn't possibly go to the beach because she had gained five pounds and would be embarrassed to put on a bathing suit, people would think it was disgusting. I asked if she walked along the beach thinking that about other people and she said "Yes, of course!"
Perhaps what she meant was that she couldn't possibly go to the beach with us, but I still choose to believe she had some real issues.
True. And I have female relatives who make statements like that about themselves as a way to shame others. So when someone says that about themselves, I've been hard-wired to think it's a passive-aggressive slight. Whether you mean it that way or not, I assume you're negging me.
As to the mens sizing, let me assure you that a size 32"32" does not mean the same thing from brand to brand. Vanity sizing is alive and well in the mens department too.
When I say that I feel like the ugliest, fattest most unattractive hambeast on the beach - i don't consider others who may weigh more than me to be worse. I don't even think about them.
IM the worst. because im the one that has to live in my body. The only thing I really notice on other people is - ooh that pattern is cute, or I wish I could wear that kind of suit, or I wonder if I could get away with that yet. The only time I judge someone's appearance is when they are immodest by my standards and it's not like I'd tell them lol. Other than this, I am too distracted by my own imperfections.
I dont judge others harder than i judge myself. Im a pushover when it comes to other people. The criticizing voice in my head is a skinny shrew-like, bony fingered, bible thumping, cold souled apparition of my mother. And she doesn't know anyone else on that beach lol!
I'm sure that you (and other people who say they're not talking about others) truly mean that. When I'm feeling rational, I get that you're talking about you and not me, and that you see others in a kinder light.
But . . . I completely empathize with anyone who hears those comments and interprets them as a sly dig, because I often do too. And it's hard to let go of that way of thinking.
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"But the foods I like are high in calories. How do you still eat foods you like?" Me: '1. I find healthier ways to make them that still taste good. 2. I eat anyhing I want in moderation. I want a cheeseburger? One month isn't going to kill me or my weight loss.' Them: "sounds too hard, I'd rather starve myself then put in that time."
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Oh and "I've been eating REALLY healthy all month and I'm GAINING!" Then when I look at their diaries they've ate out all month and been over calories....0
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People that complain about their weight but never do anything about it...other than complain.0
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pscarolina wrote: »fattymcrunnerpants wrote: »bluesarah13 wrote: »A pet peeve of mine is when an instructors of a group class act like you're going to die in their class because you're overweight. Little comments in front of everyone like "you'll need to do the modification", "you can sit this one out", "don't exert yourself too much". How about you let ME decide if I need to modify an exercise or if I need to take a break. I'm in your class weekly; stop embarrassing me in front of everyone.
On that note, I hate when an instructor berates you for modifying or sitting out. One particular instructor I had to explain to him that getting in my face and being a butt does not help.
Please do not go back to a class these instructors are teaching. That is not motivation. You are paying for the service. I feel so sad just reading this!
ETA: I offer modifications during class (low impact options, maybe some options for ab work if people have a weaker back), but I would NEVER direct it towards anyone in particular. I also offer more difficult options since I have some crazy fit women who love to push themselves. Feeling challenged & successful is the goal, not letting students leave feeling defeated.
Don't worry, I didn't. it's a small town so the instructor was also the bouncer at the bar I frequent. i'm sure he had some preconceived notions about me before I entered his class. he did this during ab work, I don't have a bad back but have limited abdominal mobility due to severe scar tissue in my tummy. I chewed him out after class and told him its none of his business what or why I have physical limits, that if i'm paying for a class i'm there to work.0 -
abbeyjones1994 wrote: »Mine is people opposite sabotaging me...
For instance, my mom is the one who got me on MFP, and of course I am forever grateful for that. She is maintaining right now, while I still have 13ish lbs. to lose. However, she thinks the fact that I am still losing means that I have cut treats (candy, cookies, chips, etc.) out of my diet, when in fact it is the opposite. So, for Halloween, while she sent my younger brother a care package with candy and snacks, she sent me a care package filled with Subway gift cards and cooking utensils.
Don't get me wrong, I didn't want tons of candy (or as much as my brother got at least), but it kind of sucked that she thought I would binge on Reese's cups instead of properly portioning them out like I have learned to do. I don't think she did it maliciously, but I have to keep reminding her that this is a lifestyle change and that means candy sometimes.
My mother is a nightmare. Whenever we go to her place for dinner she makes me a special "diet" dish. Example: while everyone else gets roast pork I get steamed fish. I'm a grown woman! I've lost over 70 lbs! I want roast pork! I've told her and I've told her, but she doesn't seem to listen. The other day she came over as I was unloading groceries, and was horrified...scandalized, really...that I had bought a pack of Chips Ahoy cookies. I like Chips Ahoy! My kids like Chips Ahoy! You'd think she had caught me mainlining heroin the way she reacted. *sigh*0 -
As a guy, I think i should point out...obscuremusicreference wrote: »concordancia wrote: »lemurcat12 wrote: »
"I also hate when people who look thinnner than me tell me how horrible they look and that they need to lose weight because they are hideous. people dont even think about how thing like that are not only self depricating which is bad enough but also inulting to me, because if you look bad you are pretty much telling me i am even more hideous."
How someone feels about their own body has absolutely nothing to do with you...
Anybody at any size can have body issues and being thinner doesn't make their feelings less important. You being bigger doesn't make your feelings more important.
I agree with this, but I also know that it's natural to assume that someone who thinks she's disgusting at 110 probably thinks it's more disgusting to be 200, even if she's way more judgmental of herself than she would be of anyone else. I've learned not to be bothered by people's expressions of body insecurity, but the real takeaway for me is to realize that others could be hurt by me going on negatively about my own body, so it's probably rude and a good thing to avoid.
It's also a good reminder not to do something that I think is unhelpful and negative, and to remind myself that I don't think that way about other people's bodies, so should not about mine. IMO, there often is a connection between how judgmental you are of yourself and the standards you apply to others, though.
I once had a friend who was slim and athletic say to myself and another overweight woman that she couldn't possibly go to the beach because she had gained five pounds and would be embarrassed to put on a bathing suit, people would think it was disgusting. I asked if she walked along the beach thinking that about other people and she said "Yes, of course!"
Perhaps what she meant was that she couldn't possibly go to the beach with us, but I still choose to believe she had some real issues.
True. And I have female relatives who make statements like that about themselves as a way to shame others. So when someone says that about themselves, I've been hard-wired to think it's a passive-aggressive slight. Whether you mean it that way or not, I assume you're negging me.
As to the mens sizing, let me assure you that a size 32"32" does not mean the same thing from brand to brand. Vanity sizing is alive and well in the mens department too.
When I say that I feel like the ugliest, fattest most unattractive hambeast on the beach - i don't consider others who may weigh more than me to be worse. I don't even think about them.
IM the worst. because im the one that has to live in my body. The only thing I really notice on other people is - ooh that pattern is cute, or I wish I could wear that kind of suit, or I wonder if I could get away with that yet. The only time I judge someone's appearance is when they are immodest by my standards and it's not like I'd tell them lol. Other than this, I am too distracted by my own imperfections.
I dont judge others harder than i judge myself. Im a pushover when it comes to other people. The criticizing voice in my head is a skinny shrew-like, bony fingered, bible thumping, cold souled apparition of my mother. And she doesn't know anyone else on that beach lol!
You do know what we're looking at, right?
Two things, and we're usually (if normal and not maladjusted) not thinking "waddacowbro" we're thinking... god, I love the beach.
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fattymcrunnerpants wrote: »30540769"] it's a small town so the instructor was also the bouncer at the bar I frequent.
So sorry, off topic but this is awesome. Just the kind of towns I grew up in or have always lived in. Made me laugh out loud.0 -
sdavies1984 wrote: »The other day I was at the gym and this man was reading a magazine on the chest press machine for about 20 minutes. Who does that?
OMG. I see that all the time. Probably because I'm super cheap and go to Planet Fitness. There was a girl there yesterday who was wearing the tiniest little work out out fit, just sitting with a group of friends on the machines. None of them was actually working out and I'm pretty sure they never intended to because the girl had on knee high boots that looked like they were made from sweater material. Yeah, that's how I like to work out.
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0somuchbetter0 wrote: »abbeyjones1994 wrote: »Mine is people opposite sabotaging me...
For instance, my mom is the one who got me on MFP, and of course I am forever grateful for that. She is maintaining right now, while I still have 13ish lbs. to lose. However, she thinks the fact that I am still losing means that I have cut treats (candy, cookies, chips, etc.) out of my diet, when in fact it is the opposite. So, for Halloween, while she sent my younger brother a care package with candy and snacks, she sent me a care package filled with Subway gift cards and cooking utensils.
Don't get me wrong, I didn't want tons of candy (or as much as my brother got at least), but it kind of sucked that she thought I would binge on Reese's cups instead of properly portioning them out like I have learned to do. I don't think she did it maliciously, but I have to keep reminding her that this is a lifestyle change and that means candy sometimes.
My mother is a nightmare. Whenever we go to her place for dinner she makes me a special "diet" dish. Example: while everyone else gets roast pork I get steamed fish. I'm a grown woman! I've lost over 70 lbs! I want roast pork! I've told her and I've told her, but she doesn't seem to listen. The other day she came over as I was unloading groceries, and was horrified...scandalized, really...that I had bought a pack of Chips Ahoy cookies. I like Chips Ahoy! My kids like Chips Ahoy! You'd think she had caught me mainlining heroin the way she reacted. *sigh*
Exactly!! Going grocery shopping when I was home for Thanksgiving break was a nightmare. She looked at me like I had 5 heads when I said I wanted chips and salsa. I'm pretty sure she thinks I've lost 25 lbs. eating carrots and grilled chicken all day. Which is weird because, like I said, she's been on MFP too, and I lived with her during part of the time she did it so I know that she doesn't do that...just weird.
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Lalalindaloo wrote: »fattymcrunnerpants wrote: »30540769"] it's a small town so the instructor was also the bouncer at the bar I frequent.
So sorry, off topic but this is awesome. Just the kind of towns I grew up in or have always lived in. Made me laugh out loud.
Yeah, I've lived here for 10 yrs now so everyone knows everyones business. it's pretty funny.0 -
LadyAbsynthe wrote: »Not how that works, though. I did think I was disgusting at 110, but I also thought people a lot heavier than I was were honestly really beautiful.
I think there's a connection, even if there were exceptions or even if it wasn't the case for you. I'm not judgy about bodies (or especially negative about my own, although I am realistic), but I am judgy about some other things, which also happen to be things I'm really harsh/intolerant of myself about. When I work on being more compassionate to myself, I find I also relax my standards with others.
Also, my sister is the person I was thinking of at 110, and although I believe her when she says she never thought of me as disgusting, I hear the comments she makes about other people, and the existence of exceptions for people she likes (like me) doesn't change the fact that she's extremely conscious of bodies generally, and likely to be negative about imperfections. She's not the only one I've noticed this with.
Anyway, the bigger point was the one you didn't comment on--having thought about how others might take it, I now think it's rude and an additional reason not to engage in negative self talk. That that encourages me not to engage in behavior I consider destructive (and way too expected among women) anyway is just an added bonus.
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As a guy, I think i should point out...obscuremusicreference wrote: »concordancia wrote: »lemurcat12 wrote: »
"I also hate when people who look thinnner than me tell me how horrible they look and that they need to lose weight because they are hideous. people dont even think about how thing like that are not only self depricating which is bad enough but also inulting to me, because if you look bad you are pretty much telling me i am even more hideous."
How someone feels about their own body has absolutely nothing to do with you...
Anybody at any size can have body issues and being thinner doesn't make their feelings less important. You being bigger doesn't make your feelings more important.
I agree with this, but I also know that it's natural to assume that someone who thinks she's disgusting at 110 probably thinks it's more disgusting to be 200, even if she's way more judgmental of herself than she would be of anyone else. I've learned not to be bothered by people's expressions of body insecurity, but the real takeaway for me is to realize that others could be hurt by me going on negatively about my own body, so it's probably rude and a good thing to avoid.
It's also a good reminder not to do something that I think is unhelpful and negative, and to remind myself that I don't think that way about other people's bodies, so should not about mine. IMO, there often is a connection between how judgmental you are of yourself and the standards you apply to others, though.
I once had a friend who was slim and athletic say to myself and another overweight woman that she couldn't possibly go to the beach because she had gained five pounds and would be embarrassed to put on a bathing suit, people would think it was disgusting. I asked if she walked along the beach thinking that about other people and she said "Yes, of course!"
Perhaps what she meant was that she couldn't possibly go to the beach with us, but I still choose to believe she had some real issues.
True. And I have female relatives who make statements like that about themselves as a way to shame others. So when someone says that about themselves, I've been hard-wired to think it's a passive-aggressive slight. Whether you mean it that way or not, I assume you're negging me.
As to the mens sizing, let me assure you that a size 32"32" does not mean the same thing from brand to brand. Vanity sizing is alive and well in the mens department too.
When I say that I feel like the ugliest, fattest most unattractive hambeast on the beach - i don't consider others who may weigh more than me to be worse. I don't even think about them.
IM the worst. because im the one that has to live in my body. The only thing I really notice on other people is - ooh that pattern is cute, or I wish I could wear that kind of suit, or I wonder if I could get away with that yet. The only time I judge someone's appearance is when they are immodest by my standards and it's not like I'd tell them lol. Other than this, I am too distracted by my own imperfections.
I dont judge others harder than i judge myself. Im a pushover when it comes to other people. The criticizing voice in my head is a skinny shrew-like, bony fingered, bible thumping, cold souled apparition of my mother. And she doesn't know anyone else on that beach lol!
You do know what we're looking at, right?
Two things, and we're usually (if normal and not maladjusted) not thinking "waddacowbro" we're thinking... god, I love the beach.
I do know this
but hey - my brain is still a fatty lol
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"Clean Eating" and how some people magically thing that the exact moment they starting "eating clean" they are suddenly more healthy than I am because I eat McDonalds regardless of the fact that they might be at an unhealthy weight and/or don't exercise.0
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Telling me that I should eat breakfast (or more often) to jump start my metabolism.0
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The term "jump start." Why?0
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People who put you down as you start to try losing weight and eating better, then (only after you ignore their attitudes) they ask for advice on how to start.0
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GothyFaery wrote: »courtenaymichele wrote: »Two things:
1. I've had multiple people tell me I'm "weak" for needing to eat every few hours. Um, great if you can subsist on one meal a day, but if I tried that I'd be horrifically hangry and then would pass out (for real). We're all different!
I used to be like that too. I have passed out a few times from not eating on schedule but I'm slowing working it out of me. I used to have to eat as soon as I woke up but I started pushing back breakfast little at a time and now I can fast about 12-13 hours (counting sleeping at night) before I start feeling hungry. Just saying if you wanted to you could train your body to last longer without food. Obviously whatever works for you is the way to go!
My need to eat is because of a medical blood sugar condition, so no "training" will help!0
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