What's your biggest weight loss / fitness pet peeve?
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Replies
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heh, truth.
ROFL this is basically MFP in a nutshell. Ask any question, the answer is "I eat <xyz food> every day".
Question: It's so hard giving up sweets, especially ice cream. Anyone have any helpful strategies?
Answer: I eat ice cream every day!
Question: I'm having a really hard time eliminating red meat. Anything out there that tastes close to a cheeseburger?
Answer: I have cheeseburgers all the time!
Question: I just started limiting to 1200 calories a day. I'm hungry all the time. How do people do this?
Answer: I can eat 1600 calories and still lose weight!
I think some of that can be helpful, because a lot of goobs are all, ermagerds! I hafta cut out all meat until I lose 79 pounds!
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Oh here's one.
I can't work out, it's so cold out!
Go eat a pie crybaby.0 -
scuba6randy wrote: »I've learned to say "I'm watching my nutrition" or "I'm sticking to my meal plan", because if I say "I'm watching my diet" people say "you don't (look like you) need to be on a diet". I just want to say "I didn't say I was ON a diet!" Just because I don't have 50 or 100 lbs to lose doesn't mean that I don't want to watch my fitness and STAY WITHIN a healthy range.
Diabetes runs rampant in my family, I don't want to go there.
If someone is really bugging me to try something or to keep what they brought over, my husband will intervene and tell them that I am "working at eating more responsibly."
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I didn't read every post. I know a few have mentioned people writing loose instead of lose. That is annoying to me too. Along the same lines, using using weight instead of weigh. You don't weight yourself when you step on the scale. You weigh yourself. You weigh your food. Weight is how heavy you are, not the action of weighing yourself. To use weight as a verb you would be saying that you are adding heavy things to your body like "I weight myself down so I don't float". Weigh is the verb you want to use when you say "I weigh myself" or "I weighed myself" and you mean that you stood on a scale.
Other than that-
Cheat days
Food is evil.
I can't control myself.
I don't have time to cook, eat, exercise.
Not giving enough information when asking questions and getting annoyed at suggestions that won't work because xyz.
Getting solid advice and ignoring it time and again because it isn't what they want to hear.
I want to lose weight in this specific body part only.
I want to lose a clothing size in a couple of weeks.0 -
This thread is so long that I know this has to be in here somewhere, but people at the gym who use equipment and don't clean it off really tick me off. There are signs that say , "PLEASE WIPE DOWN EQUIPMENT AFTER USING!" I watch them sweat all over it and then walk away. I've said something a couple of times but usually I just grab a paper towel and spray bottle and clean it off.
It's just.... eeewwww.0 -
girlviernes wrote: »obscuremusicreference wrote: »concordancia wrote: »lemurcat12 wrote: »
"I also hate when people who look thinnner than me tell me how horrible they look and that they need to lose weight because they are hideous. people dont even think about how thing like that are not only self depricating which is bad enough but also inulting to me, because if you look bad you are pretty much telling me i am even more hideous."
How someone feels about their own body has absolutely nothing to do with you...
Anybody at any size can have body issues and being thinner doesn't make their feelings less important. You being bigger doesn't make your feelings more important.
I agree with this, but I also know that it's natural to assume that someone who thinks she's disgusting at 110 probably thinks it's more disgusting to be 200, even if she's way more judgmental of herself than she would be of anyone else. I've learned not to be bothered by people's expressions of body insecurity, but the real takeaway for me is to realize that others could be hurt by me going on negatively about my own body, so it's probably rude and a good thing to avoid.
It's also a good reminder not to do something that I think is unhelpful and negative, and to remind myself that I don't think that way about other people's bodies, so should not about mine. IMO, there often is a connection between how judgmental you are of yourself and the standards you apply to others, though.
I once had a friend who was slim and athletic say to myself and another overweight woman that she couldn't possibly go to the beach because she had gained five pounds and would be embarrassed to put on a bathing suit, people would think it was disgusting. I asked if she walked along the beach thinking that about other people and she said "Yes, of course!"
Perhaps what she meant was that she couldn't possibly go to the beach with us, but I still choose to believe she had some real issues.
True. And I have female relatives who make statements like that about themselves as a way to shame others. So when someone says that about themselves, I've been hard-wired to think it's a passive-aggressive slight. Whether you mean it that way or not, I assume you're negging me.
As to the mens sizing, let me assure you that a size 32"32" does not mean the same thing from brand to brand. Vanity sizing is alive and well in the mens department too.
When I say that I feel like the ugliest, fattest most unattractive hambeast on the beach - i don't consider others who may weigh more than me to be worse. I don't even think about them. IM the worst, because im the one that has to live in my body. The only thing I really notice on other people is - ooh that pattern is cute, or I wish I could wear that kind of suit, or I wonder if I could get away with that yet. The only time I judge someone's appearance is when they are immodest by my standards and it's not like I'd tell them lol. Other than this, I am too distracted by my own imperfections.
I dont judge others harder than i judge myself. Im a pushover when it comes to other people. The criticizing voice in my head is a skinny shrew-like, bony fingered, bible thumping, cold souled apparition of my mother. And she doesn't know anyone else on that beach lol!that the thing though. you should. i mean if you are talking to someone, you hould consider how your words would affect them. i mean if you give a crap about them. i am not saying you should care about everyone in the universe all the time. but if you are talking to someone, and something you are saying would be indirectly insulting, even if you are directing it to yourself... you should think about them.
my original post was about my mom, who gained a lot of weight suddenly, and now she looks like i looked most of the last say 15 years... she repeatedly tells me she is hideous and horrible, and all i can think is... you have seen me my whole life, i looked almost exactly like you. how can you stand here and tell me you are hideous, and not realize you are telling me that i looked hideous for years.
but it is exactly what you are saying. "i dont even think about them" and "distracted by my own imperfections" and i dont think this has nothing to do with me, if i am part of the conversation. it is a pet peeve of mine that people are careless with their words when putting themsleves down. people SHOULD think of who they are talking to before they open their mouths, otherwise they are not talking to you at all, just bouncing their words off someone whos feelings dont matter.
the funny thing is... over thanksgiving i finally got tired of it and told her how i felt when she said things like that... and she said "but i always thought your were beautiful even when you were bigger" and i said then why cant you feel that about yourself?
its all very complicated though..with moms...
you know what - you are 100 percent right.
those of us that are not overweight, even if we see ourselves as horribly ugly monsters in our own minds long after we lost the weight, have absolutely no right to lean on our friends and family unless they are smaller than us.
If we need to lose less weight than the person we are speaking with, we can't vent about frustration with our own bodies or our own hang-ups.
If we are struggling with self-worth and self-consciousness, we should ONLY find someone skinny and/or fit to complain to.
Because unless we are very overweight, any of our own personal issues are nothing more than a creative way to go about finding new means of insulting the people we love who weigh more than us. It doesn't matter if we are sisters or best friends. Sisters and Best Friends are -N O T- the people we should lean on when we are frustrated or depressed. Only look for fit people.
AND if we are ever in a situation where a beloved family member or friend who is smaller than we are, starts talking about how they feel they are fat or hideous - we should remember that this is actually a comment about our body and not theirs. What they are saying, in all actuality, is that we are even worse than them.
Did I get it right?
If im smaller than my friends, I don't get to talk about my health and fitness? Cool.
Okay, I think it depends how and to whom you talk about it. The normative "fat talk" as in "Does my butt look fat in this?" "I'm so gross", etc., not cool, not good for any one, and yes, hard to listen to when you have a significant weight problem.
If you truly struggle with your body image and want support from someone close, that's a different story. Reach out, but be mindful of the other person. Something like, "I'd really like some help because I am really struggling with negative thoughts about my body"
this is what I was talking about. I was saying how, when Im alone at the beach, Im not judging anyone because all I can see is how awful I look and I don't think ANYONE looks worse - and I was told that those thoughts in my head are inconsiderate to the people around me, because how I look at myself, even when not comparing to them, is inconsiderate and means I dont give a crap about other people.0 -
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JadeRabbit08 wrote: »
I missed the 'Ask-holes' post but omg I love that term. haha0 -
girlviernes wrote: »obscuremusicreference wrote: »concordancia wrote: »lemurcat12 wrote: »
"I also hate when people who look thinnner than me tell me how horrible they look and that they need to lose weight because they are hideous. people dont even think about how thing like that are not only self depricating which is bad enough but also inulting to me, because if you look bad you are pretty much telling me i am even more hideous."
How someone feels about their own body has absolutely nothing to do with you...
Anybody at any size can have body issues and being thinner doesn't make their feelings less important. You being bigger doesn't make your feelings more important.
I agree with this, but I also know that it's natural to assume that someone who thinks she's disgusting at 110 probably thinks it's more disgusting to be 200, even if she's way more judgmental of herself than she would be of anyone else. I've learned not to be bothered by people's expressions of body insecurity, but the real takeaway for me is to realize that others could be hurt by me going on negatively about my own body, so it's probably rude and a good thing to avoid.
It's also a good reminder not to do something that I think is unhelpful and negative, and to remind myself that I don't think that way about other people's bodies, so should not about mine. IMO, there often is a connection between how judgmental you are of yourself and the standards you apply to others, though.
I once had a friend who was slim and athletic say to myself and another overweight woman that she couldn't possibly go to the beach because she had gained five pounds and would be embarrassed to put on a bathing suit, people would think it was disgusting. I asked if she walked along the beach thinking that about other people and she said "Yes, of course!"
Perhaps what she meant was that she couldn't possibly go to the beach with us, but I still choose to believe she had some real issues.
True. And I have female relatives who make statements like that about themselves as a way to shame others. So when someone says that about themselves, I've been hard-wired to think it's a passive-aggressive slight. Whether you mean it that way or not, I assume you're negging me.
As to the mens sizing, let me assure you that a size 32"32" does not mean the same thing from brand to brand. Vanity sizing is alive and well in the mens department too.
When I say that I feel like the ugliest, fattest most unattractive hambeast on the beach - i don't consider others who may weigh more than me to be worse. I don't even think about them. IM the worst, because im the one that has to live in my body. The only thing I really notice on other people is - ooh that pattern is cute, or I wish I could wear that kind of suit, or I wonder if I could get away with that yet. The only time I judge someone's appearance is when they are immodest by my standards and it's not like I'd tell them lol. Other than this, I am too distracted by my own imperfections.
I dont judge others harder than i judge myself. Im a pushover when it comes to other people. The criticizing voice in my head is a skinny shrew-like, bony fingered, bible thumping, cold souled apparition of my mother. And she doesn't know anyone else on that beach lol!that the thing though. you should. i mean if you are talking to someone, you hould consider how your words would affect them. i mean if you give a crap about them. i am not saying you should care about everyone in the universe all the time. but if you are talking to someone, and something you are saying would be indirectly insulting, even if you are directing it to yourself... you should think about them.
my original post was about my mom, who gained a lot of weight suddenly, and now she looks like i looked most of the last say 15 years... she repeatedly tells me she is hideous and horrible, and all i can think is... you have seen me my whole life, i looked almost exactly like you. how can you stand here and tell me you are hideous, and not realize you are telling me that i looked hideous for years.
but it is exactly what you are saying. "i dont even think about them" and "distracted by my own imperfections" and i dont think this has nothing to do with me, if i am part of the conversation. it is a pet peeve of mine that people are careless with their words when putting themsleves down. people SHOULD think of who they are talking to before they open their mouths, otherwise they are not talking to you at all, just bouncing their words off someone whos feelings dont matter.
the funny thing is... over thanksgiving i finally got tired of it and told her how i felt when she said things like that... and she said "but i always thought your were beautiful even when you were bigger" and i said then why cant you feel that about yourself?
its all very complicated though..with moms...
you know what - you are 100 percent right.
those of us that are not overweight, even if we see ourselves as horribly ugly monsters in our own minds long after we lost the weight, have absolutely no right to lean on our friends and family unless they are smaller than us.
If we need to lose less weight than the person we are speaking with, we can't vent about frustration with our own bodies or our own hang-ups.
If we are struggling with self-worth and self-consciousness, we should ONLY find someone skinny and/or fit to complain to.
Because unless we are very overweight, any of our own personal issues are nothing more than a creative way to go about finding new means of insulting the people we love who weigh more than us. It doesn't matter if we are sisters or best friends. Sisters and Best Friends are -N O T- the people we should lean on when we are frustrated or depressed. Only look for fit people.
AND if we are ever in a situation where a beloved family member or friend who is smaller than we are, starts talking about how they feel they are fat or hideous - we should remember that this is actually a comment about our body and not theirs. What they are saying, in all actuality, is that we are even worse than them.
Did I get it right?
If im smaller than my friends, I don't get to talk about my health and fitness? Cool.
Okay, I think it depends how and to whom you talk about it. The normative "fat talk" as in "Does my butt look fat in this?" "I'm so gross", etc., not cool, not good for any one, and yes, hard to listen to when you have a significant weight problem.
If you truly struggle with your body image and want support from someone close, that's a different story. Reach out, but be mindful of the other person. Something like, "I'd really like some help because I am really struggling with negative thoughts about my body"
this is what I was talking about. I was saying how, when Im alone at the beach, Im not judging anyone because all I can see is how awful I look and I don't think ANYONE looks worse - and I was told that those thoughts in my head are inconsiderate to the people around me, because how I look at myself, even when not comparing to them, is inconsiderate and means I dont give a crap about other people.
Yoovie, I understand that body issues are serious and talk a lot of work to conquer, so I'm not minimizing how you feel about yourself at all, but I just wanted to mention two things:
1] your attitude is great! You participate actively here and you have made huge changes for yourself and have obtained much success already.
2] your profile pic is gorgeous and it looks like you don't even have any make-up on.
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People saying "muscle weighs more than fat" grrrr...
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when people say your too heavey and you need to lose weight and then when you lose it they say you need to gain it. Just leave me alone.0
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They're just examples. I don't think everyone does it.
ROFL this is basically MFP in a nutshell. Ask any question, the answer is "I eat <xyz food> every day".
Question: It's so hard giving up sweets, especially ice cream. Anyone have any helpful strategies?
Answer: I eat ice cream every day!
Question: I'm having a really hard time eliminating red meat. Anything out there that tastes close to a cheeseburger?
Answer: I have cheeseburgers all the time!
Question: I just started limiting to 1200 calories a day. I'm hungry all the time. How do people do this?
Answer: I can eat 1600 calories and still lose weight!
BUT someone does it at least once on every thread <g>
Oh so true. I just want to say, "good for you...now would you kindly shut the hell up?"
:P0 -
girlviernes wrote: »obscuremusicreference wrote: »concordancia wrote: »lemurcat12 wrote: »
"I also hate when people who look thinnner than me tell me how horrible they look and that they need to lose weight because they are hideous. people dont even think about how thing like that are not only self depricating which is bad enough but also inulting to me, because if you look bad you are pretty much telling me i am even more hideous."
How someone feels about their own body has absolutely nothing to do with you...
Anybody at any size can have body issues and being thinner doesn't make their feelings less important. You being bigger doesn't make your feelings more important.
I agree with this, but I also know that it's natural to assume that someone who thinks she's disgusting at 110 probably thinks it's more disgusting to be 200, even if she's way more judgmental of herself than she would be of anyone else. I've learned not to be bothered by people's expressions of body insecurity, but the real takeaway for me is to realize that others could be hurt by me going on negatively about my own body, so it's probably rude and a good thing to avoid.
It's also a good reminder not to do something that I think is unhelpful and negative, and to remind myself that I don't think that way about other people's bodies, so should not about mine. IMO, there often is a connection between how judgmental you are of yourself and the standards you apply to others, though.
I once had a friend who was slim and athletic say to myself and another overweight woman that she couldn't possibly go to the beach because she had gained five pounds and would be embarrassed to put on a bathing suit, people would think it was disgusting. I asked if she walked along the beach thinking that about other people and she said "Yes, of course!"
Perhaps what she meant was that she couldn't possibly go to the beach with us, but I still choose to believe she had some real issues.
True. And I have female relatives who make statements like that about themselves as a way to shame others. So when someone says that about themselves, I've been hard-wired to think it's a passive-aggressive slight. Whether you mean it that way or not, I assume you're negging me.
As to the mens sizing, let me assure you that a size 32"32" does not mean the same thing from brand to brand. Vanity sizing is alive and well in the mens department too.
When I say that I feel like the ugliest, fattest most unattractive hambeast on the beach - i don't consider others who may weigh more than me to be worse. I don't even think about them. IM the worst, because im the one that has to live in my body. The only thing I really notice on other people is - ooh that pattern is cute, or I wish I could wear that kind of suit, or I wonder if I could get away with that yet. The only time I judge someone's appearance is when they are immodest by my standards and it's not like I'd tell them lol. Other than this, I am too distracted by my own imperfections.
I dont judge others harder than i judge myself. Im a pushover when it comes to other people. The criticizing voice in my head is a skinny shrew-like, bony fingered, bible thumping, cold souled apparition of my mother. And she doesn't know anyone else on that beach lol!that the thing though. you should. i mean if you are talking to someone, you hould consider how your words would affect them. i mean if you give a crap about them. i am not saying you should care about everyone in the universe all the time. but if you are talking to someone, and something you are saying would be indirectly insulting, even if you are directing it to yourself... you should think about them.
my original post was about my mom, who gained a lot of weight suddenly, and now she looks like i looked most of the last say 15 years... she repeatedly tells me she is hideous and horrible, and all i can think is... you have seen me my whole life, i looked almost exactly like you. how can you stand here and tell me you are hideous, and not realize you are telling me that i looked hideous for years.
but it is exactly what you are saying. "i dont even think about them" and "distracted by my own imperfections" and i dont think this has nothing to do with me, if i am part of the conversation. it is a pet peeve of mine that people are careless with their words when putting themsleves down. people SHOULD think of who they are talking to before they open their mouths, otherwise they are not talking to you at all, just bouncing their words off someone whos feelings dont matter.
the funny thing is... over thanksgiving i finally got tired of it and told her how i felt when she said things like that... and she said "but i always thought your were beautiful even when you were bigger" and i said then why cant you feel that about yourself?
its all very complicated though..with moms...
you know what - you are 100 percent right.
those of us that are not overweight, even if we see ourselves as horribly ugly monsters in our own minds long after we lost the weight, have absolutely no right to lean on our friends and family unless they are smaller than us.
If we need to lose less weight than the person we are speaking with, we can't vent about frustration with our own bodies or our own hang-ups.
If we are struggling with self-worth and self-consciousness, we should ONLY find someone skinny and/or fit to complain to.
Because unless we are very overweight, any of our own personal issues are nothing more than a creative way to go about finding new means of insulting the people we love who weigh more than us. It doesn't matter if we are sisters or best friends. Sisters and Best Friends are -N O T- the people we should lean on when we are frustrated or depressed. Only look for fit people.
AND if we are ever in a situation where a beloved family member or friend who is smaller than we are, starts talking about how they feel they are fat or hideous - we should remember that this is actually a comment about our body and not theirs. What they are saying, in all actuality, is that we are even worse than them.
Did I get it right?
If im smaller than my friends, I don't get to talk about my health and fitness? Cool.
Okay, I think it depends how and to whom you talk about it. The normative "fat talk" as in "Does my butt look fat in this?" "I'm so gross", etc., not cool, not good for any one, and yes, hard to listen to when you have a significant weight problem.
If you truly struggle with your body image and want support from someone close, that's a different story. Reach out, but be mindful of the other person. Something like, "I'd really like some help because I am really struggling with negative thoughts about my body"
this is what I was talking about. I was saying how, when Im alone at the beach, Im not judging anyone because all I can see is how awful I look and I don't think ANYONE looks worse - and I was told that those thoughts in my head are inconsiderate to the people around me, because how I look at myself, even when not comparing to them, is inconsiderate and means I dont give a crap about other people.
The thread is too long to go back to it now, but my memory is that the genesis of this discussion is about someone going on to her fatter friend or daughter or sister (although I'd amend it to anyone else) about how monstrously fat she is and how anyone looking at her would want to vomit and how gross fat is, etc., and the fat friend/sister/daughter feeling bad and judged and then various people (including you?) jumping in and saying it's not about you, how dare you not sympathize with the thinner person feeling bad.
IMO, the speaker in that scenario (the thinner complainer) was being rude, and it's not less rude if you are insecure. It's not about the other being fatter (as you seemed to assume, although that does make it even more obviously thoughtless), because it's not less rude if your friend is average weight or thinner than you either, maybe she's also insecure and just less prone to talk about her feelings in that way (lots of people are insecure, after all). To say that your feeling bad about yourself gives you a free pass to ignore her feelings would be wrong and inconsiderate.
Obviously, however, thinking stuff to yourself isn't the issue, and I don't think anyone suggested that. Human beings think all kinds of stuff.
But, in fact, I do think that people inclined to be quite judgmental with themselves about their bodies also tend to be focused on the bodies of others as something to be critical of. If you don't feel compelled to say that, I don't think it's rude (nor do I care), and I'm sure there are exceptions, but I have noticed it to be true. (Similarly, people who think it's important to dress well often are more apt to notice or be bothered by people who are slobs in their fashion choices, people who keep their houses really clean, are more likely to judge other's housekeeping, etc.) If you don't think it's terrible to have an imperfect body, that's something to take to heart with respect to yourself, though.0 -
lemurcat12 wrote: »girlviernes wrote: »obscuremusicreference wrote: »concordancia wrote: »lemurcat12 wrote: »
"I also hate when people who look thinnner than me tell me how horrible they look and that they need to lose weight because they are hideous. people dont even think about how thing like that are not only self depricating which is bad enough but also inulting to me, because if you look bad you are pretty much telling me i am even more hideous."
How someone feels about their own body has absolutely nothing to do with you...
Anybody at any size can have body issues and being thinner doesn't make their feelings less important. You being bigger doesn't make your feelings more important.
I agree with this, but I also know that it's natural to assume that someone who thinks she's disgusting at 110 probably thinks it's more disgusting to be 200, even if she's way more judgmental of herself than she would be of anyone else. I've learned not to be bothered by people's expressions of body insecurity, but the real takeaway for me is to realize that others could be hurt by me going on negatively about my own body, so it's probably rude and a good thing to avoid.
It's also a good reminder not to do something that I think is unhelpful and negative, and to remind myself that I don't think that way about other people's bodies, so should not about mine. IMO, there often is a connection between how judgmental you are of yourself and the standards you apply to others, though.
I once had a friend who was slim and athletic say to myself and another overweight woman that she couldn't possibly go to the beach because she had gained five pounds and would be embarrassed to put on a bathing suit, people would think it was disgusting. I asked if she walked along the beach thinking that about other people and she said "Yes, of course!"
Perhaps what she meant was that she couldn't possibly go to the beach with us, but I still choose to believe she had some real issues.
True. And I have female relatives who make statements like that about themselves as a way to shame others. So when someone says that about themselves, I've been hard-wired to think it's a passive-aggressive slight. Whether you mean it that way or not, I assume you're negging me.
As to the mens sizing, let me assure you that a size 32"32" does not mean the same thing from brand to brand. Vanity sizing is alive and well in the mens department too.
When I say that I feel like the ugliest, fattest most unattractive hambeast on the beach - i don't consider others who may weigh more than me to be worse. I don't even think about them. IM the worst, because im the one that has to live in my body. The only thing I really notice on other people is - ooh that pattern is cute, or I wish I could wear that kind of suit, or I wonder if I could get away with that yet. The only time I judge someone's appearance is when they are immodest by my standards and it's not like I'd tell them lol. Other than this, I am too distracted by my own imperfections.
I dont judge others harder than i judge myself. Im a pushover when it comes to other people. The criticizing voice in my head is a skinny shrew-like, bony fingered, bible thumping, cold souled apparition of my mother. And she doesn't know anyone else on that beach lol!that the thing though. you should. i mean if you are talking to someone, you hould consider how your words would affect them. i mean if you give a crap about them. i am not saying you should care about everyone in the universe all the time. but if you are talking to someone, and something you are saying would be indirectly insulting, even if you are directing it to yourself... you should think about them.
my original post was about my mom, who gained a lot of weight suddenly, and now she looks like i looked most of the last say 15 years... she repeatedly tells me she is hideous and horrible, and all i can think is... you have seen me my whole life, i looked almost exactly like you. how can you stand here and tell me you are hideous, and not realize you are telling me that i looked hideous for years.
but it is exactly what you are saying. "i dont even think about them" and "distracted by my own imperfections" and i dont think this has nothing to do with me, if i am part of the conversation. it is a pet peeve of mine that people are careless with their words when putting themsleves down. people SHOULD think of who they are talking to before they open their mouths, otherwise they are not talking to you at all, just bouncing their words off someone whos feelings dont matter.
the funny thing is... over thanksgiving i finally got tired of it and told her how i felt when she said things like that... and she said "but i always thought your were beautiful even when you were bigger" and i said then why cant you feel that about yourself?
its all very complicated though..with moms...
you know what - you are 100 percent right.
those of us that are not overweight, even if we see ourselves as horribly ugly monsters in our own minds long after we lost the weight, have absolutely no right to lean on our friends and family unless they are smaller than us.
If we need to lose less weight than the person we are speaking with, we can't vent about frustration with our own bodies or our own hang-ups.
If we are struggling with self-worth and self-consciousness, we should ONLY find someone skinny and/or fit to complain to.
Because unless we are very overweight, any of our own personal issues are nothing more than a creative way to go about finding new means of insulting the people we love who weigh more than us. It doesn't matter if we are sisters or best friends. Sisters and Best Friends are -N O T- the people we should lean on when we are frustrated or depressed. Only look for fit people.
AND if we are ever in a situation where a beloved family member or friend who is smaller than we are, starts talking about how they feel they are fat or hideous - we should remember that this is actually a comment about our body and not theirs. What they are saying, in all actuality, is that we are even worse than them.
Did I get it right?
If im smaller than my friends, I don't get to talk about my health and fitness? Cool.
Okay, I think it depends how and to whom you talk about it. The normative "fat talk" as in "Does my butt look fat in this?" "I'm so gross", etc., not cool, not good for any one, and yes, hard to listen to when you have a significant weight problem.
If you truly struggle with your body image and want support from someone close, that's a different story. Reach out, but be mindful of the other person. Something like, "I'd really like some help because I am really struggling with negative thoughts about my body"
this is what I was talking about. I was saying how, when Im alone at the beach, Im not judging anyone because all I can see is how awful I look and I don't think ANYONE looks worse - and I was told that those thoughts in my head are inconsiderate to the people around me, because how I look at myself, even when not comparing to them, is inconsiderate and means I dont give a crap about other people.
The thread is too long to go back to it now, but my memory is that the genesis of this discussion is about someone going on to her fatter friend or daughter or sister (although I'd amend it to anyone else) about how monstrously fat she is and how anyone looking at her would want to vomit and how gross fat is, etc., and the fat friend/sister/daughter feeling bad and judged and then various people (including you?) jumping in and saying it's not about you, how dare you not sympathize with the thinner person feeling bad.
IMO, the speaker in that scenario (the thinner complainer) was being rude, and it's not about the other being fatter (although that does make it more obviously thoughtless), and it's not less rude if you are insecure. Among other reasons, it's not less rude if your friend is average weight or thinner than you either, maybe she's also insecure and just less prone to talk about (lots of people are insecure, after all). To say that your feeling bad about yourself gives you a free pass to ignore her feelings would be wrong and inconsiderate.
Obviously, however, thinking stuff to yourself isn't the issue, and I don't think anyone raised that.
But, in fact, I do think that people inclined to be quite judgmental with themselves about their bodies also tend to be focused on the bodies of others as something to be critical of. If you don't feel compelled to say that, I don't think it's rude (nor do I care), and I'm sure there are exceptions, but I have noticed it to be true. (Similarly, people who think it's important to dress well often are more apt to notice or be bothered by people who are slobs in their fashion choices, people who keep their houses really clean, are more likely to judge other's housekeeping, etc.) If you don't think it's terrible to have an imperfect body, that's something to take to heart with respect to yourself, though.
this is yes what i meant. i like to think of it this way.
if i wouldnt say something about a random strangers looks... like if a larger person walked past me and a friend... i wouldnt turn to my friend and say what a fat cow. because it would be rude. and i dont talk about people like that. and if my friend has extra weight even worse because of course she/he will think i think the same about them.
so why would i say it to my friend about myelf. "i am a fat cow" it is equally rude.
and really it does nobody any good anyway. if you want to talk to me about your weight or mine i am happy to talk about it in a constructive way without any fat shaming of either yourself or someone else... its not about not talking about problems. its about talking about problems without shaming people.
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I can totally relate to the peeve about helpful people offering apples (or other "healthy" snacks).
I once had an acquaintance out on a camp-out together offer me a huge bag of sugar-free candies to keep me company, thinking she was being so helpful. I checked the label, second ingredient glucose. I turned it down. She was deeply offended.
Stop getting offended at my food rejections, people! It's my body!0 -
My pet peeve is my mother's view on "dieting"...to her, she will eat less than 500 calories and 400 of that is coffee creamer and thinks it is healthy. On top of THAT she will walk 5-10 miles every day. Yeah that is great exercise but if you don't have any fuel in the tank, you will crash and burn eventually.
And I hate when people talk crap about MyFitnessPal, how being online does not help you lose weight. Ummm no not if you play in the forums all day but it sure helps logging calories, logging exercises and having a support system.0 -
ElizabethObviously wrote: »My pet peeve is my mother's view on "dieting"...to her, she will eat less than 500 calories and 400 of that is coffee creamer and thinks it is healthy. On top of THAT she will walk 5-10 miles every day. Yeah that is great exercise but if you don't have any fuel in the tank, you will crash and burn eventually.
And I hate when people talk crap about MyFitnessPal, how being online does not help you lose weight. Ummm no not if you play in the forums all day but it sure helps logging calories, logging exercises and having a support system.
even playing in the forums all day doesnt hurt your weight loss... in fact it can keep you motivated. i have a lifestyle where i sit on the computer a LOT. but then i get up and take 10,000 or so steps a day or go to the gym and run 5k or lift weights... i can sit a lot and still burn a lot of calories.... and not eat too many. people who say being online does not help are those same people who think dieting is 500 calories of coffee creamer...
personally i like sitting around on the computer and probably will always... so that is the life i choose and get to be fit too... when i get up. in fact being online is probably a big draw for me staying ON my plan.
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This may have already been said (not going back through 18 pages of replies) but my biggest pet peeve is that food has calories. And that I can eat 600 of them and feel like I didn't eat anything.0
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They're just examples. I don't think everyone does it.
ROFL this is basically MFP in a nutshell. Ask any question, the answer is "I eat <xyz food> every day".
Question: It's so hard giving up sweets, especially ice cream. Anyone have any helpful strategies?
Answer: I eat ice cream every day!
Question: I'm having a really hard time eliminating red meat. Anything out there that tastes close to a cheeseburger?
Answer: I have cheeseburgers all the time!
Question: I just started limiting to 1200 calories a day. I'm hungry all the time. How do people do this?
Answer: I can eat 1600 calories and still lose weight!
BUT someone does it at least once on every thread <g>
Oh so true. I just want to say, "good for you...now would you kindly shut the hell up?"
:P
CICO - just do it! I actually really hate it when people say this in response to a question like that. I know that it's a fundametal principle but in reality there are a million different ways to create a deficit and a million different tips for doing it in a sustainable healthy way. If it was as easy as just doing it everyone would be slim. Hormones, emotions, cravings etc. all play a part.0
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