Preteens eating my diet food
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What?If I am saving up a punnet of raspberries for myself and the kids ask for it, the answer is no, but they always have the choice of another kind of yummy fruit and I don't do it all the time. My mum always bought chocolate and bikkies as her 'mum' food and then wouldn't let us eat it EVER, which was one of the reasons I started binging on that kind of stuff and ended up having an unhealthy obsession with it, so I'd rather say no to the berries and have them long for that than chocolate
What, what?
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I should have mentioned - I do have a shelf of "Mom's stuff". They don't go after that at all, even though the good dark chocolate is there. And I've asked them not to eat the raspberries, but they still do, because it's kind of mixed in with everything else in the fridge. They would definitely respect a label. Just trying to decide if it's too mean.
I didn't read anything after this. It isn't mean. It is equality. Your kids or husband can have their own private treats right? You buy things especially for them that you don't consume. If they asked you to buy them raspberries you'd buy raspberries for them too. Don't feel bad about labeling some things as yours.
In my house, we split things that everyone wants to eat into equal portioned baggies and put names on them and it helps enormously to keep the (not overweight) teenager from eating everything. Everyone can add one thing to the grocery list that is just for them. I have a private stash of granola bars. There are other granola bars for everyone but these are mine. Most food in our home is free for everyone to eat as they want so I don't feel the slightest bit mean about having one item to myself.0 -
I am a mom of four. I completely understand the desire to have something...anything to yourself! I have a little guy who is a raspberry-holic. My advice- Be proud you have raised kids who crave healthy foods. Now that you know they like it so much buy extra for them and mark it with their name. Take yours and put it in an opaque container marked as something they don't like at the back of the bottom shelf behind something they don't like. If all else fails buy a mini fridge and hide it. Good luck!0
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I had a thought in the shower this morning. (I have lots of thoughts after a good swim!)
Now, my kids are grown. But I was thinking if I had wanted to reserve something as a treat for myself, I'd also want the kids to have a Life Lesson in the process, so my talk with them about it would go something like this:
"I want you to imagine I said we'd buy some ice cream and put it in the freezer. Then, after you cleaned your room, you could have a bowl. When you were cleaning your room, you'd be looking forward to that ice cream, wouldn't you?
"Now imagine that Daddy, who no-one TOLD we were saving that for something went and ate the ice cream while you were cleaning your room. While he didn't do anything bad, 'cause he didn't KNOW it was being saved, you'd still be pretty disappointed that you couldn't have that ice cream you were looking forward to, right?
"I'm trying to do something hard, and I look forward to those raspberries kind of in the same way. When you're a grown-up instead of having grown-ups arrange rewards for you, you tend to motivate yourself. So when you plan something to reward yourself, and it doesn't work out, you get disappointed. So, I'm gonna label this as my treat. But I wanted you to get the point, because you can make rewards for yourself for doing hard things, too. Give it some thought mah monkeys (I called my children my monkeys), and think of something hard you'd like to do and get a reward."
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I definitely agree with the posters who say you should be entitled to your own food.
As you've said, the kids have more than enough options to choose from! I also really liked the suggestion that they could opt to get their own fruit in lieu of their normal weekly treat.
I used to be one of those human garbage disposals as a teen...gotta love my activity and metabolism during those days! Sometimes I would be inconsiderate and eat a ton of something, but as I got older, I've realized the importance of sharing, not going overboard, and being mindful of others who were in the house.
Even now, if I go home, if I see something that doesn't look "fair game", I ask. Recently I saw mini chocolate bars in the fridge. Knowing my mom likes to sometimes put one or two in her lunch, I asked before I took one, and she said it was fine. Same with things like pizza, or dinners packed away in rubbermaid containers. I never take something without asking, since I don't know if that's been set aside for someone, or will be planned for a meal later.
Definitely a good lesson to instill in the kids; and it already sounds like they have it down pretty well! Their world won't end if they can't have mom's raspberries/strawberries/shrimp, and it's good that they are respecting the boundaries you've set so far by marking off what you want just for yourself.0 -
Sabine_Stroehm wrote: »I have two girls. I swear, one of them is going to be a dietician! She keeps talking about having "healthy snacks" and not eating certain things because they aren't healthy! LOL I keep telling her sometimes it isn't necessarily the item itself that's not healthy, but the amount of it that's unhealthy (1 cookie vs. the whole container of cookies).
I started buying greek yogurt, light string cheese, I'd get a certain sort of pretzels and portion them out into baggies....then my kids started eating them too. I just order more of that stuff now.
If my new habits of eating better is rubbing off on them, then I'm all for it!! LOL
I feel sad for your daughter and her relationship with food.
Why?
because caring about what goes into your body automatically equals eating disorders zohmygod call child protection services!!!11
seriously though, when kids get on a "kick" they always take it to an extreme. eventually the enthusiasm will wane a little bit, and the kid will understand they can have unhealthy foods in moderation and it's not going to kill them.
Oh really? I've learned to think about what I'm eating from an early age and have never, ever suffered from any eating disorder. And no, not all kids get on a kick and take it to the extreme. The ones that do? That's where parenting comes in.0 -
sweetdixie92 wrote: »Sabine_Stroehm wrote: »I have two girls. I swear, one of them is going to be a dietician! She keeps talking about having "healthy snacks" and not eating certain things because they aren't healthy! LOL I keep telling her sometimes it isn't necessarily the item itself that's not healthy, but the amount of it that's unhealthy (1 cookie vs. the whole container of cookies).
I started buying greek yogurt, light string cheese, I'd get a certain sort of pretzels and portion them out into baggies....then my kids started eating them too. I just order more of that stuff now.
If my new habits of eating better is rubbing off on them, then I'm all for it!! LOL
I feel sad for your daughter and her relationship with food.
Why?
because caring about what goes into your body automatically equals eating disorders zohmygod call child protection services!!!11
seriously though, when kids get on a "kick" they always take it to an extreme. eventually the enthusiasm will wane a little bit, and the kid will understand they can have unhealthy foods in moderation and it's not going to kill them.
Oh really? I've learned to think about what I'm eating from an early age and have never, ever suffered from any eating disorder. And no, not all kids get on a kick and take it to the extreme. The ones that do? That's where parenting comes in.
I think you misunderstood the sarcasm.0 -
sweetdixie92 wrote: »Sabine_Stroehm wrote: »I have two girls. I swear, one of them is going to be a dietician! She keeps talking about having "healthy snacks" and not eating certain things because they aren't healthy! LOL I keep telling her sometimes it isn't necessarily the item itself that's not healthy, but the amount of it that's unhealthy (1 cookie vs. the whole container of cookies).
I started buying greek yogurt, light string cheese, I'd get a certain sort of pretzels and portion them out into baggies....then my kids started eating them too. I just order more of that stuff now.
If my new habits of eating better is rubbing off on them, then I'm all for it!! LOL
I feel sad for your daughter and her relationship with food.
Why?
because caring about what goes into your body automatically equals eating disorders zohmygod call child protection services!!!11
seriously though, when kids get on a "kick" they always take it to an extreme. eventually the enthusiasm will wane a little bit, and the kid will understand they can have unhealthy foods in moderation and it's not going to kill them.
Oh really? I've learned to think about what I'm eating from an early age and have never, ever suffered from any eating disorder. And no, not all kids get on a kick and take it to the extreme. The ones that do? That's where parenting comes in.
The sentence just after the part you bolded kind of suggests the post was sarcastic, don't you think?0 -
I would assume that your children aren't selfish because that is how you raised them. If they did something selfish like, I don't know, eating all of the raspberries, leaving none for anyone else, how would you deal with that? Or do your children just learn through osmosis, no discipline required?.... It appears that some people have never heard of discipline? Those who think discipline is a bad idea, I sure hope *you* don't have kids. Kids are not adults, they are supposed to mind. If they don't, consequences are appropriate. Such as the consequence NoelFigart1 has proposed there.
Yes I do have a child. I also have common sense and strong family values where we share things. We aren't a group of selfish people.0 -
lol. kids eating food.
Buy food that isn't palatable for kids, done.0 -
sgthaggard wrote: »
I would assume that your children aren't selfish because that is how you raised them. If they did something selfish like, I don't know, eating all of the raspberries, leaving none for anyone else, how would you deal with that? Or do your children just learn through osmosis, no discipline required?.... It appears that some people have never heard of discipline? Those who think discipline is a bad idea, I sure hope *you* don't have kids. Kids are not adults, they are supposed to mind. If they don't, consequences are appropriate. Such as the consequence NoelFigart1 has proposed there.
Yes I do have a child. I also have common sense and strong family values where we share things. We aren't a group of selfish people.
OMG another one disciplining for fruit eating! What other minor inconveniences should we have been disciplining for all these years?
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sgthaggard wrote: »
I would assume that your children aren't selfish because that is how you raised them. If they did something selfish like, I don't know, eating all of the raspberries, leaving none for anyone else, how would you deal with that? Or do your children just learn through osmosis, no discipline required?.... It appears that some people have never heard of discipline? Those who think discipline is a bad idea, I sure hope *you* don't have kids. Kids are not adults, they are supposed to mind. If they don't, consequences are appropriate. Such as the consequence NoelFigart1 has proposed there.
Yes I do have a child. I also have common sense and strong family values where we share things. We aren't a group of selfish people.
Does his child even have teeth yet to eat the raspberries with?0 -
Not disciplining for fruit eating, disciplining for not sharing. Let me break it down for you - I live in a family of four. I buy four cookies. Oldest child eats all four cookies. Oldest child gets disciplined for being a selfish git. Make sense?sgthaggard wrote: »
I would assume that your children aren't selfish because that is how you raised them. If they did something selfish like, I don't know, eating all of the raspberries, leaving none for anyone else, how would you deal with that? Or do your children just learn through osmosis, no discipline required?.... It appears that some people have never heard of discipline? Those who think discipline is a bad idea, I sure hope *you* don't have kids. Kids are not adults, they are supposed to mind. If they don't, consequences are appropriate. Such as the consequence NoelFigart1 has proposed there.
Yes I do have a child. I also have common sense and strong family values where we share things. We aren't a group of selfish people.
OMG another one disciplining for fruit eating! What other minor inconveniences should we have been disciplining for all these years?
Eat some fruit and leave some fruit for someone else. Don't be a selfish git. (edit * and yes, that goes for the OP as well)
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^ fun times ahead for you when they're teenagers =D. You're going to have to go on full lockdown when they start swarming through your kitchen like locusts!0
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It's a matter of respect. Do you want your kids and spouse to respect you enough to allow you to have a few special treats or should it be okay for them to take whatever they like, whenever they like just because? It's just that simple.
When we've had a teenager living in our house, under our house rules, the food rule was simple: either you let me or your Uncle Allen know when you eat the last one of anything or you don't eat the last one of anything. That way when an adult eats the last one of something, we will run by the store the next day and buy more, instead of someone going to get some sort of food and finding out we are out of it then. We considered it a matter of respecting each other.
We also made sure teenager had her favorite foods in stock and made sure it was clearly communicated to teenager what our favorite foods were, and if something was supposed to be someone's special snack, it was labelled as such. She could label something (and would) if it was a special snack for her - it went both ways. For example, we only drink fat free milk, but we would buy her 2% or whole fat milk because she liked it. That was HER milk and she knew we were buying it for her, because we respected her rights to have her own preference. Even if we were out of fat free, we asked before we drank her milk, and she was well within her rights to say no! She knew I hate chocolate, so the white chocolate Godiva bar that only had rare nibbles out of it was mine, and she never touched it.0 -
Heh.
How do you know a child listens well?
They have all their teeth.0 -
Maybe disguise it as something they don't like lol, put it a box or tin labelled with whatever food they really can't stand. It's difficult if it's fresh food.
Or you could just buy extra raspberries or whatever, nothing wrong with kids eating those. I always buy extra of things I like and my kids like, for example natural yogurt.0 -
It doesn't sound like they mean any disrespect by it, but merely that they don't quite understand how much importance you place on this food being available to you. If you explain what you've just told us to your kids, I think they'd understand and respect the boundaries. I don't live alone, but it is understood which food I rely on and how seriously I take it, so there has never been a problem.0
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I have two teenage boys. Somehow they manage not to eat more than their share of foods that we have in limited quantities despite their age. Though, that may have a lot to do with keeping other food in unlimited quantities on hand.^ fun times ahead for you when they're teenagers =D. You're going to have to go on full lockdown when they start swarming through your kitchen like locusts!
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