Do you still see a fat person in the mirror?

Lindsay_the_great

I have lost over 30 pounds with MFP, and 78 pounds from my max overall. I am a svelte size 4-6 US and healthier than I have ever been, YET... when I see myself in the mirror I only see problems. I don't see the progress. My first reaction is to think I need to lose 10 more pounds.

I'm not acting on these thoughts. I am averaging 1500-1600 calories daily (sometimes more), which is appropriate for maintenance for me. I am active, but not working out obsessively or anything. Yet, I don't feel like I'm there yet.

Does anyone else struggle with this? I don't think I have body dysmorphia or anything. It's not that extreme. It's just a mild discontent that I wish weren't there.

Linzer140fit

Have you ever tried looking at your body but standing on something or angling the floor mirror so you can't see your head, only your body? I know this sounds bizarre but it tricks your brain a little because it's like you're looking at somebody elses body and I think you might find you are way less critical. Remember, everyone has problem spots, we all look "good" with our clothes on, or in good lighting.

Spiderkeys

Not anymore, something I now see someone a little too skinny, (neck, shoulders, arms, etc) but standing on my side, things looks a bit different, my stomach hasn't been too kind to me during the journey, I developed a hernia (intestines sticking out thur your stomach muscle), but now it's fixed (surgery), now it's time to concentrate on my stomach, so I can feel truely naturally thin.

Madame_Goldbricker

Yep, but I think we're naturally our own worst critics. It takes time for the brain to catch up. I'd gone to try some dresses on recently & asked the sales assistant to swap out one for a smaller size. She'd looked me up & down and seemed confused I'd taken one in that was obviously going to swamp me.. (stupid brain!)

DawnieB1977

Well, I am still fat now lol, 8 months post partum, but pre-pregnancy I was a US size 6/8 and I often thought I looked fat in the mirror, but when I saw photos I looked slim, and I'd try on clothes and still be surprised when they were loose.

zyxst

Yes, but I am fat. The only times I think I'm "thin" is when I see my shadow.

HealthyVitamins

yes, some mirrors are horribly unflattering, some I look at and think I'm doing ok. I just have to remember my waist size and know that I am smaller than I was.

triinityz

Yep, I have the same problem. Even when I buy clothes that are 4 or 6 I keep thinking they must run larger. They forget to tell you when you finally manage to lose the weight, you are just changing physically not mentally. I've been at goal since September and the only time I see the "real" me is in photos. Oh well, rather be crazy and skinny than crazy and fat like I used to be

ljdurdle

I'd start by changing my name on here, get rid of the big! It can't help your perception of yourself...

RaspberryTickleChicken

CONGRATS first of all! Awesome job!

And you are not alone. When I was heavy I did not even look in the mirror. Even after a yr & a half maintaining sometimes I still act like I'm still near 40 lbs heavier. ie. saying things like 'oh I can't pull that shirt off Im too heavy' then taking a moment for my brain to catch up to reality. lol

It just takes our brains a bit to catch up to the healthier versions. It will get there eventually.

Tuala42

I still feel like this, and I've been maintaining for a while, close to two years now. When I was a size 10 I saw myself as a size 8. For a long time even after I lost the weight (size 4 now) my head was stuck on seeing myself at that size. I've made progress, I think I see myself at around a size 6 these days. Photos really do help.

wbaumgartner1

Unfortunatly I do. I've lost 140 pounds since June (gastric bypass), I know I was good at 120# lost and still thought I needed to lose more. I am now at 160# and know it's enough weight lost. I have been in the gym since August trying to tone things up, it is working and haven't felt this good in over 30 years. But, I still see that >300# person in the miror every time I look. I know it's a slow process, but the mental images still haunt me.

Lindsay_the_great

ljdurdle wrote: »

I'd start by changing my name on here, get rid of the big! It can't help your perception of yourself...

Ha. I use that because it's a play on my last name, which literally means "big"

jrline

Yes I do. Although when I see pictures I can see I am not that big anymore. I guess it takes a while to get to seeing yourself as not fat. Congrats on your success.

mrsmuckster

I think I have the problem more reverse- when at my heaviest- I don't think I saw myself in the mirror as "that heavy" until I saw a picture. Now, I take a selfie every once in a while, for whatever reason my perspective is different. Not sure if that makes sense.

Sinistrous

Oh yeah, negative body image takes time to cure.
Eventually I'll see myself as I am, but not yet.

xcalygrl

I'm right there with you. I have been "thinner" for several years now, but my brain still hasn't caught up with what everyone else sees. When I look in the mirror, I see all my flaws and still see my old 240# body.

@linzer140fit has a good idea. I've noticed that I feel better about my body when I see just my body and not my head in my reflection. When I see just my body, I think that person is super fit and looks good. I know it's my body, but for some reason I'm less critical of just my body when I can't see my head.

Lindsay_the_great

mrsmuckster wrote: »

I think I have the problem more reverse- when at my heaviest- I don't think I saw myself in the mirror as "that heavy" until I saw a picture. Now, I take a selfie every once in a while, for whatever reason my perspective is different. Not sure if that makes sense.

It does. When I was over 200 lbs, I really had no idea how big I was. I knew that it didn't feel good to have to go up to a size 20 in clothes. Something in me knew I was getting into dangerous territory, but it takes looking back at photos to see how truly big I was. I was as much oblivious then as I am now. I guess our minds are really determined to fool us.

mewilmes

I think I'm thin when I look at myself in the mirror but when people take photographs, oh my! I am still in the overweight category and maybe I won't ever look good in pictures. All my clothes are swimming on me, maybe if I got the right size I would see myself as heavier. So maybe if you have some of your bigger sizes around you could try them on and then look in the mirror. You'd see that you are smaller. Good luck!

Cbefitforlife

Do you lift weights to tone up? Since you have lost quite a bit, maybe you just see that you need to firm things up. Just a thought. Great job though. That is a amazing loss, and you should be very proud of yourself.

Cbefitforlife

taking recent photos and matching them up to olds ones is a great idea.

nxd10

No. What surprised me was that for a long time I saw that fat person in my head. When I glanced in the mirror or caught my reflection in a mirror I saw a thin person I used to see 20 years ago and it always caught me by surprise.

Just like when I was heavier and would see a picture of myself it always shocked me how much fatter I was in the picture than I was in my head.

After three years, the thin person in the mirror and the thin person in my head match.

nxd10

mewilmes wrote: »

I think I'm thin when I look at myself in the mirror but when people take photographs, oh my! I am still in the overweight category and maybe I won't ever look good in pictures. All my clothes are swimming on me, maybe if I got the right size I would see myself as heavier. So maybe if you have some of your bigger sizes around you could try them on and then look in the mirror. You'd see that you are smaller. Good luck!

It's hard to buy new clothes when the ones you have fit and are in good shape. But when you buy new ones that fit BETTER, it makes a huge difference.

Go to Goodwill and buy a few things or start buying one new thing a month that looks really good. Take your measurements and figure out what your size really is. I was shocked out how much better I looked in clothes that fit (or hadn't been stretched out of shape).

paradi3s

Sadly, I do. No matter who tells me otherwise, I still see that ugly fat girl in the mirror and it sucks! It isn't that I'm proud of where I am today, it's just that I still see something I don't want to see (a bit of fat here and there), and I end up seeing 2013 me struggling to lose weight.

melimomTARDIS

big_lindsay wrote: »

I have lost over 30 pounds with MFP, and 78 pounds from my max overall. I am a svelte size 4-6 US and healthier than I have ever been, YET... when I see myself in the mirror I only see problems. I don't see the progress. My first reaction is to think I need to lose 10 more pounds.

I'm not acting on these thoughts. I am averaging 1500-1600 calories daily (sometimes more), which is appropriate for maintenance for me. I am active, but not working out obsessively or anything. Yet, I don't feel like I'm there yet.

Does anyone else struggle with this? I don't think I have body dysmorphia or anything. It's not that extreme. It's just a mild discontent that I wish weren't there.

No, I am really skinny now. I buy shirts in the girls department. going braless is not even an issue for me anymore (I was a 38D prior), and my jeans look like little doll pants to me.

When my mother bought me a shirt for christmas, she apologized and said the only size they had available was a women's small. "Maybe you could tuck it in?" she said.

cosmichvoyager

This is going to sound weird maybe but do you do anything like yoga or meditation or some other practice meant to increase your body/mind awareness? Do you ever work on like...inhabiting your body and being peaceful with it? Gratitude, acceptance, enjoyment of your body is so important and I think easy to forget to do consciously.

I go out dancing a lot and when I'm dancing I try to spend some time examining, focusing on and appreciating how my body has been changing. Like I check in with my physical self, try some movements that I am able to perceive as measures of improvement (I feel lighter on my feet, my hips are flexible, my knees and feet don't hurt). I find that this practice of consciously checking in with my body, has made me accept the changes? I still see myself in mirrors and I am not sure how I look in reality or to other people--but I am pretty sure I know how I feel in my own body and I try to focus on that.

kshadows

Honestly, I've been known (in the last several weeks) to stop as I'm walking by the mirror and think "holy dayum!" lol I still have a lot of work to go but seeing how far I've come is very motivating

Arliah

First off, congrats on your success!

I have the same issue. Some days more, some days less. I don't even need a mirror to feel that way *lol* Just walking around the office sometimes does that to me. All I see are the skinny people, and I feel like a sea cow. I am wearing a size 8, so I know it can't really be THAT bad, but still.

Just make sure you don't focus on it too much and become anorexic or bulemic. Been there, done that, definitely nothing I would recommend, but it's easy to slip into it when you have a body image that does not reflect reality.

DWBalboa

I think it’s only natural for those of us that have lost lots of weight to have that self-image that we still have work to do. But if you refer to yourself as svelte in one instance I just can't see how you would not see yourself as that always.

Sometimes the one person we have the hardest time accepting and loving is ourselves. Maybe you just need to do that, accept yourself and love yourself for who and what you are and learn to admire the reflection in the mirror.

emcmullen20

yes. it took me a VERY long time to get used to going to the mediums and not the Larges and X-Larges.

I also still see the same old me. What kind of helped me is graphing my weights . that way i can physically see a line decreasing instead of just numbers

judylatin

I look in the mirror and worry when my jawline appears to be diminishing into a double chin. I also panic when the tummy is bloated, and I can't wear the usual form-fitting pants. This is after 3 years of maintenance of a 35 LB weight loss with the knowledge my weight fluctuates 5 lbs seasonally.