Do you still see a fat person in the mirror?

arditarose

Not a fat person...but fat, yes. Because there is still fat there.

Khukhullatus

I'm pretty seriously dysmophic, and I solved the problem by not looking in mirrors below my neck. It sounds stupid, but I decided to trust in results that I can measure: weight, BMI, body fat percentage, etc. Subjective things like how clothes fit tell you more about who you are than what you look like. If I didn't need the face mirror to shave, I'd ditch that too.

One other thing you might do is get some self tanner. It sounds super stupid, but there was some college study on this (I hate people who cite studies without the link, so I apologize) where they took pictures of people in swimsuits before and after exercise programs and before and after tanning, a ten percent increase in "tan" was the equivalent of a twenty-five percent increase in muscle mass by weight. I can't remember off hand how they measured it, and I remember thinking they were making the results a little more generous than they should have been, but the idea is if you want to change perception of your body without actually going past your healthy weight, darkening your skin the tiniest bit can help keep your perception in line with reality.

Be careful heading down the perception path. I got off the rails when I was seventeen and now fourteen years later still I can't get an accurate picture of what my body looks like.

Lindsay_the_great

nxd10 wrote: »

[/quote
It is encouraging to ME to see people say 'yeah, I had that, but I got over it'. Hope is a good thing. And that's what I'm reading.

I agree and that's what I'm saying. Some people said something to the effect of, "no I've never had that problem" and I just don't understand the point of adding that to the convo. Why go into a conversation to tell everyone it doesn't apply to you?
Anyway I'm done discussing that aspect of it. I want to go back to the topic at hand.

profesorakrf

I think that being a little girl in the US, you are taught or conditioned that you should look a certain way. I am at my maintenance weight, I exercise regularly, I eat healthy food and there is still a list of about 4 or 5 things that I would change about my body. I try to look at the positive differences I've made, which are many, instead of nagging myself about the remaining items. Some days it's easier to do than others. Big hug to you.

Lindsay_the_great

FoCoAlphaNerd wrote: »

I'm pretty seriously dysmophic, and I solved the problem by not looking in mirrors below my neck. It sounds stupid, but I decided to trust in results that I can measure: weight, BMI, body fat percentage, etc. Subjective things like how clothes fit tell you more about who you are than what you look like. If I didn't need the face mirror to shave, I'd ditch that too.

One other thing you might do is get some self tanner. It sounds super stupid, but there was some college study on this (I hate people who cite studies without the link, so I apologize) where they took pictures of people in swimsuits before and after exercise programs and before and after tanning, a ten percent increase in "tan" was the equivalent of a twenty-five percent increase in muscle mass by weight. I can't remember off hand how they measured it, and I remember thinking they were making the results a little more generous than they should have been, but the idea is if you want to change perception of your body without actually going past your healthy weight, darkening your skin the tiniest bit can help keep your perception in line with reality.

Be careful heading down the perception path. I got off the rails when I was seventeen and now fourteen years later still I can't get an accurate picture of what my body looks like.

Haha I wish the suntan thing would work on me. When I get tan in the summer I see myself in the mirror and I don't like it at first! But maybe it's worth a try.
Fact is, I'm at the top of my "healthy" range. I could lose another 15 pounds and still be within it. And I don't really plan to. My goal is to maintain and replace about 5 lbs with muscle. I think that's reasonable. I just hope a but of toning makes me stop seeing the fat girl.

Lindsay_the_great

profesorakrf wrote: »

I think that being a little girl in the US, you are taught or conditioned that you should look a certain way. I am at my maintenance weight, I exercise regularly, I eat healthy food and there is still a list of about 4 or 5 things that I would change about my body. I try to look at the positive differences I've made, which are many, instead of nagging myself about the remaining items. Some days it's easier to do than others. Big hug to you.

Thanks. That's how I feel. I know I'll never achieve the ideal. I'm in my late 30s and I've born and nursed four kids. I'm not going to look like a swimsuit model. I know I just need to put the work in to get a more toned shape. I really hope that helps my perception.

vmsolko

While watching a health program, they mentioned that it can take our brains up to 2-3 years to register our actual body size after losing weight. That was mindblowing to me. But I get it. I have lost 30 lbs so far, but when I look in the mirror I only see what work I have left to do.

A previous comment you made about how you never realized how big you were until looking back - I also feel that way. Some photos, when they were taken, I felt really good about. I was like, "Yeah, my face looks thin from that angle." Now I look at that photo and I am like, "That was a good photo?! My face was so round!!" I guess it sounds like it will just take time for all us to get used to the bodies we have worked so hard for.

trina1049

I also still see myself as fat even though I'm into size 6/8 petites, and I still have around 10 more pounds to lose after already losing 40lbs. I'm just barely on the wrong side of a healthy BMI now. My family is always telling me how much better I look, but most of the time I don't see it. I still feel like I'm huge. Rationally I know the weight is gone but it's hard to adjust to. I do love graphing my weight and looking back at the first graphs; just seeing that line going down is amazing.

Lindsay_the_great

vmsolko wrote: »

While watching a health program, they mentioned that it can take our brains up to 2-3 years to register our actual body size after losing weight.

That's actually really comforting... To know that it's somewhat normal. Thank you for that tidbit.

sweetiepatricia

I know exactly what you mean! After loosing 40 pounds and dropping 4 pant sizes I still see myself the same way. I suffered a few months last year with an eating disorder that made me stop eating for days on end. I always thought it was because of that. Glad I'm not the only one.

Icandoityayme

I see room for improvement but I don't ever expect to be perfect. I am a flawed person and that is fine with me. While I still see fat, I also see that I am in shock that I can wear a medium size top when it feels like I should still be buying my 2x's. They look awfully small to me but they fit me. I am in shock that I use to wear anything from size 16-20 in pants and now I am wearing a 12 and comfortably. I may look in the mirror and see that I still need work but the result of what I have accomplished shows me every time that everything I have been doing is working. I am a work in progress.

Sdemirel

One: I don't think you should try any crazy tricks to trick your brain into seeing your body a different way.

Two: I agree 100% that you should be doing weights.

The reason you should be doing weights is, aside from the physical benefits, the mental ones. When I lift weights, I feel more upright vs hunched and flabby looking; stronger and faster in my movements instead of slow and heavy, like one might with extra pounds; i have a higher body temperature resulting in a glowing complexion as compared with the pale or alternatively blotchy red that someone with poor eating and exercise habits...and in the combination of all of these, I feel more powerful.

It's the mindset you want. The way you feel will change what you see in the mirror.
I struggled with an eating disorder for a long time because I didn't know that. And while you might not believe it upon hearing it, the only tricks you should be using are the ones where you tell yourself you feel happy and healthy. Those are the ones that will change how you feel about yourself.



Looking in the mirror is not the greatest thing to do for me, personally. I'll never look like anyone else, and I'll never be able to change my bone structure, hair colour, skin complexion, lips, collar bones, chest bones, underbutt- whatever the heck weird thing it is that we're looking at, we have our very own and we'll always perceive it in the way we perceive ourselves compared with others. Just accept it, my love. You are one of a kind, and the best you can do is strive to be healthy and be your best you.

Sdemirel

Also, it's normal to still look at the imperfections. That's how you continue growth when you're fine tuning.
There's a fine line, though, between targeting a problem area by being aware of it, and looking at it every day like it's going to change day to day, or even week to week.

Stay realistic, stay positive.

schle009

Yes... I don't feel like I have lost much at all even though I went down from an XL to a M in shirts and 16 to a 10/12 in pants. People at work tell me I'm "so skinny" blahblahblah, but I don't see it at all. Even though my goal weight is 7 lbs away (I hit it and regained), I feel like I need to lose like, 25 lbs more.

Daiako

Sometimes.

Aviva92

I don't see a fat person in the mirror, but I don't really see a very skinny person either to match my low weight. I also still think my thighs are huge. They kind of are out of proportion to the rest of me.

SuggaD

When my weight fluctuates a few pounds, I look fat to me.

azulvioleta6

I went from 300 down to 208 I've gained back a little bit. I'm still not skinny (and never will be) but I am definitely a completely different shape now. At this point, I feel like I am well within the range of "normal" as far as body size, even though I am certainly much taller than the average woman.

It took me a LONG time to adjust. Still, I will see myself in a mirror once in a while accidentally and not recognize myself. The other day I was walking into a grocery store at night and I thought I saw myself reflected in the windows as I approached the store--turns out it was a much shorter, much fatter woman who was walking into the store from the other direction. Compared to her, I looked like a ballerina.

So I guess I still see myself as fatter and generally rounder than I am. It's a type of dysmorphia, I suppose, but it does get better over time.

FitOldMomma

mrsmuckster wrote: »

I think I have the problem more reverse- when at my heaviest- I don't think I saw myself in the mirror as "that heavy" until I saw a picture. Now, I take a selfie every once in a while, for whatever reason my perspective is different. Not sure if that makes sense.

That is exactly how I am also. Until I saw myself in a photograph (and then the number on the scale) I didn't feel like I looked nearly as heavy as I was. I still am that way. I've lost a decent amount of weight and it shows. I see the loss in the mirror and feel pretty good. Then I see a photo and what I see is a very large person.
Self perception is weird, lol.

nxd10

Carol - I so hear you. But a lot of that's exercise and not diet. And I have to go by that BMI and 'ideal weight too'! It's too easy to get caught up in 'never too thin'.

richmondsmith6385

Yes I used to weigh 196lbs. now I weigh 178lbs. yet I still look fat

HAS415

Yes. Yes I do and apparently that is a problem for some people and I'm not supposed to lose any more weight. I've lost 130 lbs since April 2013. Now I am supposed to be stopping. Not fun. I'd rather keep losing.

Miffylou

I have my good and bad days but not so many bad days anymore. It took me a while to stop seeing myself as the fat chick when I stopped worrying about the numbers on the scales and started concentrating more about my fitness levels. Setting my goals more around fitness rather than numbers has defenintley helped.

Lindsay_the_great

Miffylou wrote: »

I have my good and bad days but not so many bad days anymore. It took me a while to stop seeing myself as the fat chick when I stopped worrying about the numbers on the scales and started concentrating more about my fitness levels. Setting my goals more around fitness rather than numbers has defenintley helped.

That is smart. And I am sure that's what I need to be doing now. That's what my husband says too.

cassiehughes74

OMG! I thought I was crazy when I was trying to explain this to my husband. But it seems I am not alone.
I have recently lost 12 kilos (26.5 pounds) and I just cannot see it. I look and I look and I still see the same unhealthy 'fat' person I was when I started. Even though I know that my dress size has gone down and my husband can see it, I just can't!
It makes me feel like I need to lose another 30 just to be able to see it myself.

cklbrown

It's been three years since I took off nearly one hundred pounds. I know I am much thinner but I will never see skinny. I wear clothes from the kids department and don't weigh much on the scale but I still feel like I don't look good. I don't think I ever will.

Servannes

Yes, I've lost 24 pounds so far and it has been tough, I started in September 2014 and have been averaging about a pound a week. I know I'm losing weight, but when I look in the mirror, I feel like I look larger. I've been weighed on different scales, my weight loss so far is confirmed.

pkw58

Sdemirel wrote: »

Also, it's normal to still look at the imperfections. That's how you continue growth when you're fine tuning.
There's a fine line, though, between targeting a problem area by being aware of it, and looking at it every day like it's going to change day to day, or even week to week.

Stay realistic, stay positive.

Sdemirel, Thank you! It is really normal to set new goals - but make them realistic, and be positive about your approach to them. Great post.

kershaann

I still struggle with this everyday. I have lost a total of 85lbs overall. Went from a size 19 to a 9, and still only see my problem areas!

DanaHerro

HappyCampr1 wrote: »

I've lost 70 pounds and have maintained for 6 months. When I look in the mirror and see my stomach, I think I need to lose more weight. Then I look at my skinny neck, chest and forearms, remember that I'm wearing a US size 6 and medium tops, and realize that it's all in my head. I just keep doing strength training at the gym, eating what I'm supposed to and hoping that someday this will all seem normal. You are not alone, lol.

This EXACTLY. Although I've maintained 2 years now and this feeling is gone. I know KNOW I'm one of the smallest people in the room, know that I can wear a size small in almost any dress or shirt and a size 6/8 in pants. I know I'm one of the fittest people in any room and I'm no longer that fat girl.

My stomach isn't flat, but it never will be. I lost 70# and had two kids. Any time I get down under 150#, my stomach looks a little better, but the rest of me? EW. I start seeing ribs and bones way more than I'd like to and it grosses me out beyond belief. 150 is my lowest I'm comfy with for sure.

You'll get there...it takes some time. If you find it's NOT getting better after a year, I'd talk to a counselor about it. I'm sure they could be of some help!