Do you still see a fat person in the mirror?

azwen

I'm not at maintenance yet; still trying to lose 7-10 lbs. I'm at the point where I don't look bad in clothes, but when I am undressed, I see the fat that's still there, and I'm displeased. I still have trouble accepting that I wear smaller sizes now. I actually wear the same size in jeans that I wore when I was a teenager/early 20s. (Occasionally I need to size up, depending on the style/brand.) But I don't look at myself and think I look slim, just "okay". My husband just shakes his head when I complain about the fat I still have; I have lost 20 lbs. (over 10% of my body weight) since last summer, and am fitter and stronger than I've ever been. I guess it takes time. And reasonable expectations. :-)

neveragain84

Cbefitforlife wrote: »

taking recent photos and matching them up to olds ones is a great idea.

One of the best things I did.

OP, it's easy to examine yourself and find faults. I had to teach myself to look at what I gained from my new healthier lifestyle and not what I still need. You've taken a giant leap towards loving yourself in regards to losing weight. Now you need to follow that up with positive talk about the amazing things you did. We're our own worst critic.

JeffInJax

Don't see a fat person in the mirror anymore, at least not all the time. Mentally is still a different story though and while I can seem cocky or goofy around friends, with people I do not know or haven't know a long time I still seem to slip back into how I thought everyone new viewed me back when I started, so might fight is mainly a mental thing.

dopeysmelly

melimomTARDIS wrote: »

big_lindsay wrote: »

I have lost over 30 pounds with MFP, and 78 pounds from my max overall. I am a svelte size 4-6 US and healthier than I have ever been, YET... when I see myself in the mirror I only see problems. I don't see the progress. My first reaction is to think I need to lose 10 more pounds.

I'm not acting on these thoughts. I am averaging 1500-1600 calories daily (sometimes more), which is appropriate for maintenance for me. I am active, but not working out obsessively or anything. Yet, I don't feel like I'm there yet.

Does anyone else struggle with this? I don't think I have body dysmorphia or anything. It's not that extreme. It's just a mild discontent that I wish weren't there.

No, I am really skinny now. I buy shirts in the girls department. going braless is not even an issue for me anymore (I was a 38D prior), and my jeans look like little doll pants to me.

When my mother bought me a shirt for christmas, she apologized and said the only size they had available was a women's small. "Maybe you could tuck it in?" she said.

This is me too. When I look down at myself I still see the old me, even though I've gone from 16 petite to 2 petite. BUT when I look in the mirror, I honestly see a hot, lean me, and adapted to my new clothes size pretty quickly.

Funny how we're all so different!

laineybz

When i look in the mirror i also find a negative rather than all the positives. My stomach for one!

Adc7225

You are not alone with that issue. Last night I was in a department store and passing by the boys department and I commented on a hoodie that I liked and the person with me said I could totally fit it and two men chimed that I really could. This morning I went to put on a shirt and it looked like a maternity top, then I looked at the tag it was a XS - but yet and still I see a pudgy little woman in the mirror sometimes.

FitPhillygirl

Yes. Everyone I know keeps telling me that I am skinny or too thin and say things like; "you don't have to watch what you eat" or "you are lucky because you can eat anything you want and not gain weight".... However, when I look in the mirror I'm not seeing the same thin person that they are. Maybe I just need to buy a new mirror or something, lol.

SergeantSausage

Down 50-ish from my high. Do I see a fat man in the mirror? Nope. I see abs. Glorious ripped abs!

Gr8ChangesAhead

I never noticed the weight loss in the mirror, but walking past a window one day I wondered who is that turned around no one there - it was me

pkw58

Still not use to my new size. I put on my newest best business outfit and I really didn't recognize myself in the mirror just yesterday. I was walking towards a wall I didn't realize was mirrored and I was admiring myself. serious body image issues still.

Lindsay_the_great

Im glad I'm not alone. I hope that like some of you I am able to overcome my misconceptions.
I'm happy for those of you who have never had this problem. That's awesome. But it's not really necessary to tell us so. I mean, you absolutely have a right to be proud of your achievement and to say so, but it could also be discouraging to some who really do struggle for someone to hop into a conversation that doesn't apply to them to tell everyone that it doesn't apply to them. This is a real problem and it sucks to have it.. You are so so fortunate that you don't. Food for thought.

poohpoohpeapod

Yes, I still see fat. I am 5'7 163 and still look fat down from 294 last measured weight.

SergeantSausage

big_lindsay wrote: »

That's awesome. But it's not really necessary to tell us so.

So ... ask us a question, and then complain about the answer when it doesn't fit what you think it should be.... How nice.

You asked about *us*.

I quote: "Do *you* still see a fat person in the mirror?"

We answered.

The world ain't about you and you personal demons/insecurities, y'know?

RebeccaChemmy

Yeah. I always see myself as a fatty. Oh well.

mewilmes

I certainly didn't mean to hurt you. There certainly is enough pain with body image/weight loss to add to it in any way.

I don't have the problem in the mirror, but in photographs yes. I just don't understand how my mind can see myself so differently. I know the camera adds ten, but in photographs I think the camera is adding all 30 pounds that I've lost. It is disorienting.

Best of luck to all of us in this journey.

xX_PhoenixRising_Xx

I've lost 156lbs. Some days I feel really thin and don't recognise my reflection if I see myself. Some days I still feel really fat. I've managed to stop going for the larger sizes on the clothing rack, and I can pick up the equivalent of a US 4 or 6 and know it will fit (I'm in Australia so our sizes are different, I'm an 8 or 10 here). It's just that I don't see myself as having that size body.

Putting photos side by side helps, like my profile pic. And if I do pretend that the "now" photo isn't me, I'm much more objective.

joann

I have lost 61 pounds and when I go to the store to look for new clothes I get in the dressing room and look at myself and think they are trick mirrors to make you look good to buy more...I know I have gone down almost 6 sizes but I do not see that I see all my faults..and have to admit I ask myself where did my boobs go hahahaha

1961dublin

I had to take a video for work a few days ago. My body was well covered up with a cardigan and loose scarf etc. I didnt look very thin or fat either, but I got a shock with my neck and chin!! I still have a big double chin, even though I am around the 24 BMI stage. That was very disappointing. It makes me look so old. It didnt help that I was looking down at some documents in the video. Anyone got a cure for fat neck? I never had this problem before, even when I was 2 stone heavier!! And even around my eyes looked fat and puffy. Yuk!!! Maybe this is what happens at 53 years old?

adamg351973

I feel you on that i lost 75 pounds bout two years ago , I still struggle looking at myself in the mirror, i tell people all the time how people treat you differently when your fat and skinny its sometimes gets hard to deal with , I did a 180 from when I was fat too now where I'm at I dress very good I've tried to work on my perception of myself, still alot of work on the perception part ,but its a double edge sword sometimes, trying to maintain that humble and confidence is a fine balance. especially of women that I used to think your way out of my league and now they think that I'm out of their league and tell me how good looking i am ,leaning to take compliments at face value has been a struggle but I digress it's all a journey so with that said I think reality is always perception so that's what I do is I try to work on my perception and hopefully change my reality

loseit62505

mewilmes wrote: »

I think I'm thin when I look at myself in the mirror but when people take photographs, oh my! I am still in the overweight category and maybe I won't ever look good in pictures. All my clothes are swimming on me, maybe if I got the right size I would see myself as heavier. So maybe if you have some of your bigger sizes around you could try them on and then look in the mirror. You'd see that you are smaller. Good luck!

ourtruelovewillneverdie

I do. My bad thoughts always seem to come when I'm bloated for the week before and during my cycle. I'm a 4/6 and 133 and even though I know I've come a long way from my heaviest of 255 I still feel like the big girl sometimes.

sadfatgirlfromstage

Hi, congrats - that's awesome! But a US 4-6 is teeny tiny! It could be a condition called Body Dysmporhic Disorder and you could benefit from talking to the doctor! Seriously! I lost 40 lbs and still wasnt happy - so I kept losing, I was wasnt seeing change in the mirror due to BDD and ended up in a clinic - oops! x

seltzermint555

mrsmuckster wrote: »

I think I have the problem more reverse- when at my heaviest- I don't think I saw myself in the mirror as "that heavy" until I saw a picture. Now, I take a selfie every once in a while, for whatever reason my perspective is different. Not sure if that makes sense.

Same here. I think in my head I've always been around a size 14...whether I was really size 24 or (current) 10. It's hard to fully grasp when I look at photos and see that I was so much larger and am now smaller, because I feel very much the same most of the time.

I also still have weird moments. Seated and nude my body looks like it's still 300 lb to me as I glance down at myself. But when I am wearing skinny jeans and boots I have started to think man, maybe my thighs are really too small, and my friend was making fun of my wrists the other day (in a nicer way) saying they look like they would just snap in half because they are so tiny. It's a mindf***

Only in the past few months have I really become comfortable going into any store and shopping. 99% of stores carry my current size (especially since I live in the Midwest so I'm not shopping high end designers) but for a very long time I felt like the clerks were staring at me and thinking, "WHAT is that plus size lady doing in here!??" I guess because I was always plus sized since my teens and now in my late 30's it's hard to grasp that I don't even wear the largest size in most regular & even junior stores. I feel like somehow that just happened overnight and I didn't know how to process it for a long time.

BrittTomore87

I feel like I actually look good when I'm standing in the mirror and have clothes on but when I take my clothes off I see a totally different person. I'm not at goal yet I have 15-20 more lbs to lose but to others I look 'normal'. I feel like the insecurity I had before I started to lose is staying with me. Even If I'm having a good body-weight day I find something else to hate like my nose or hips.

Lindsay_the_great

SergeantSausage wrote: »

big_lindsay wrote: »

That's awesome. But it's not really necessary to tell us so.

So ... ask us a question, and then complain about the answer when it doesn't fit what you think it should be.... How nice.

Yes. When someone is being impolite I call them on it. I have 5 kids. I don't go for that nonsense. Being insensitive in a weight loss community is very impolite. I can't stop you from being insensitive but I can certainly tell you how I feel about it. And you can do the same. Isn't it nice how that works? No hard feelings on my side. Keep at your hard work and be proud. But maybe also consider the feelings of those for whom the journey is a little rougher?

AmigaMaria001

I think it's easier to lose the weight than to lose that "Fat Girl" complex. I know by the size of my clothes, the scale and the mirror that I am finally thin - but I still have that "Fat Girl" mentality. I caught myself cracking a fat joke about myself the other day when a cousin called me on it. Hard to break old habits, but we can do it. together.

Lindsay_the_great

sadfatgirlfromstage wrote: »

Hi, congrats - that's awesome! But a US 4-6 is teeny tiny! It could be a condition called Body Dysmporhic Disorder and you could benefit from talking to the doctor! Seriously! I lost 40 lbs and still wasnt happy - so I kept losing, I was wasnt seeing change in the mirror due to BDD and ended up in a clinic - oops! x

I really don't think I am in danger. Maybe there's a hint of BDD going on, but I am not in danger of extreme measures to get smaller. I don't want to be a stick insect. I just want to learn to see my progress and not my unmet expectations in the mirror.

nxd10

big_lindsay wrote: »

Im glad I'm not alone. I hope that like some of you I am able to overcome my misconceptions.
I'm happy for those of you who have never had this problem. That's awesome. But it's not really necessary to tell us so. I mean, you absolutely have a right to be proud of your achievement and to say so, but it could also be discouraging to some who really do struggle for someone to hop into a conversation that doesn't apply to them to tell everyone that it doesn't apply to them. This is a real problem and it sucks to have it.. You are so so fortunate that you don't. Food for thought.

I know you said it was rude for people to say they don't have this problem and they are discouraging people who do. But I can't say I agree after reading this thread.

It could also be seen as discouraging if everyone said 'me too'.

It is encouraging to ME to see people say 'yeah, I had that, but I got over it'. Hope is a good thing. And that's what I'm reading.

CarolWhoDat

It is an odd phenomenon. There was a time, while wearing a size 20, that I said to myself, "If only I was back in a size 12, I'd be happy." Now I am finally back in a 12, but I still see a very large stomach and back fat!! I will keep going until I'm in a size 10. Will I be happy then? Hmmm...I don't know. An average BMI will have to be my guide, since I can't trust my eyesight anymore!

ajnb88

Yes. Level differs day to day, with what I'm wearing, but yes. Especially naked.