Do you still see a fat person in the mirror?
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Not a fat person...but fat, yes. Because there is still fat there.0
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I'm pretty seriously dysmophic, and I solved the problem by not looking in mirrors below my neck. It sounds stupid, but I decided to trust in results that I can measure: weight, BMI, body fat percentage, etc. Subjective things like how clothes fit tell you more about who you are than what you look like. If I didn't need the face mirror to shave, I'd ditch that too.
One other thing you might do is get some self tanner. It sounds super stupid, but there was some college study on this (I hate people who cite studies without the link, so I apologize) where they took pictures of people in swimsuits before and after exercise programs and before and after tanning, a ten percent increase in "tan" was the equivalent of a twenty-five percent increase in muscle mass by weight. I can't remember off hand how they measured it, and I remember thinking they were making the results a little more generous than they should have been, but the idea is if you want to change perception of your body without actually going past your healthy weight, darkening your skin the tiniest bit can help keep your perception in line with reality.
Be careful heading down the perception path. I got off the rails when I was seventeen and now fourteen years later still I can't get an accurate picture of what my body looks like.0 -
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It is encouraging to ME to see people say 'yeah, I had that, but I got over it'. Hope is a good thing. And that's what I'm reading.
I agree and that's what I'm saying. Some people said something to the effect of, "no I've never had that problem" and I just don't understand the point of adding that to the convo. Why go into a conversation to tell everyone it doesn't apply to you?
Anyway I'm done discussing that aspect of it. I want to go back to the topic at hand.
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I think that being a little girl in the US, you are taught or conditioned that you should look a certain way. I am at my maintenance weight, I exercise regularly, I eat healthy food and there is still a list of about 4 or 5 things that I would change about my body. I try to look at the positive differences I've made, which are many, instead of nagging myself about the remaining items. Some days it's easier to do than others. Big hug to you.0
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FoCoAlphaNerd wrote: »I'm pretty seriously dysmophic, and I solved the problem by not looking in mirrors below my neck. It sounds stupid, but I decided to trust in results that I can measure: weight, BMI, body fat percentage, etc. Subjective things like how clothes fit tell you more about who you are than what you look like. If I didn't need the face mirror to shave, I'd ditch that too.
One other thing you might do is get some self tanner. It sounds super stupid, but there was some college study on this (I hate people who cite studies without the link, so I apologize) where they took pictures of people in swimsuits before and after exercise programs and before and after tanning, a ten percent increase in "tan" was the equivalent of a twenty-five percent increase in muscle mass by weight. I can't remember off hand how they measured it, and I remember thinking they were making the results a little more generous than they should have been, but the idea is if you want to change perception of your body without actually going past your healthy weight, darkening your skin the tiniest bit can help keep your perception in line with reality.
Be careful heading down the perception path. I got off the rails when I was seventeen and now fourteen years later still I can't get an accurate picture of what my body looks like.
Haha I wish the suntan thing would work on me. When I get tan in the summer I see myself in the mirror and I don't like it at first! But maybe it's worth a try.
Fact is, I'm at the top of my "healthy" range. I could lose another 15 pounds and still be within it. And I don't really plan to. My goal is to maintain and replace about 5 lbs with muscle. I think that's reasonable. I just hope a but of toning makes me stop seeing the fat girl.0 -
profesorakrf wrote: »I think that being a little girl in the US, you are taught or conditioned that you should look a certain way. I am at my maintenance weight, I exercise regularly, I eat healthy food and there is still a list of about 4 or 5 things that I would change about my body. I try to look at the positive differences I've made, which are many, instead of nagging myself about the remaining items. Some days it's easier to do than others. Big hug to you.
Thanks. That's how I feel. I know I'll never achieve the ideal. I'm in my late 30s and I've born and nursed four kids. I'm not going to look like a swimsuit model. I know I just need to put the work in to get a more toned shape. I really hope that helps my perception.0 -
While watching a health program, they mentioned that it can take our brains up to 2-3 years to register our actual body size after losing weight. That was mindblowing to me. But I get it. I have lost 30 lbs so far, but when I look in the mirror I only see what work I have left to do.
A previous comment you made about how you never realized how big you were until looking back - I also feel that way. Some photos, when they were taken, I felt really good about. I was like, "Yeah, my face looks thin from that angle." Now I look at that photo and I am like, "That was a good photo?! My face was so round!!" I guess it sounds like it will just take time for all us to get used to the bodies we have worked so hard for.0 -
I also still see myself as fat even though I'm into size 6/8 petites, and I still have around 10 more pounds to lose after already losing 40lbs. I'm just barely on the wrong side of a healthy BMI now. My family is always telling me how much better I look, but most of the time I don't see it. I still feel like I'm huge. Rationally I know the weight is gone but it's hard to adjust to. I do love graphing my weight and looking back at the first graphs; just seeing that line going down is amazing.0
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I know exactly what you mean! After loosing 40 pounds and dropping 4 pant sizes I still see myself the same way. I suffered a few months last year with an eating disorder that made me stop eating for days on end. I always thought it was because of that. Glad I'm not the only one.0
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I see room for improvement but I don't ever expect to be perfect. I am a flawed person and that is fine with me. While I still see fat, I also see that I am in shock that I can wear a medium size top when it feels like I should still be buying my 2x's. They look awfully small to me but they fit me. I am in shock that I use to wear anything from size 16-20 in pants and now I am wearing a 12 and comfortably. I may look in the mirror and see that I still need work but the result of what I have accomplished shows me every time that everything I have been doing is working. I am a work in progress.0
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One: I don't think you should try any crazy tricks to trick your brain into seeing your body a different way.
Two: I agree 100% that you should be doing weights.
The reason you should be doing weights is, aside from the physical benefits, the mental ones. When I lift weights, I feel more upright vs hunched and flabby looking; stronger and faster in my movements instead of slow and heavy, like one might with extra pounds; i have a higher body temperature resulting in a glowing complexion as compared with the pale or alternatively blotchy red that someone with poor eating and exercise habits...and in the combination of all of these, I feel more powerful.
It's the mindset you want. The way you feel will change what you see in the mirror.
I struggled with an eating disorder for a long time because I didn't know that. And while you might not believe it upon hearing it, the only tricks you should be using are the ones where you tell yourself you feel happy and healthy. Those are the ones that will change how you feel about yourself.
Looking in the mirror is not the greatest thing to do for me, personally. I'll never look like anyone else, and I'll never be able to change my bone structure, hair colour, skin complexion, lips, collar bones, chest bones, underbutt- whatever the heck weird thing it is that we're looking at, we have our very own and we'll always perceive it in the way we perceive ourselves compared with others. Just accept it, my love. You are one of a kind, and the best you can do is strive to be healthy and be your best you.
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Also, it's normal to still look at the imperfections. That's how you continue growth when you're fine tuning.
There's a fine line, though, between targeting a problem area by being aware of it, and looking at it every day like it's going to change day to day, or even week to week.
Stay realistic, stay positive.0 -
Yes... I don't feel like I have lost much at all even though I went down from an XL to a M in shirts and 16 to a 10/12 in pants. People at work tell me I'm "so skinny" blahblahblah, but I don't see it at all. Even though my goal weight is 7 lbs away (I hit it and regained), I feel like I need to lose like, 25 lbs more.0
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Sometimes.0
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I don't see a fat person in the mirror, but I don't really see a very skinny person either to match my low weight. I also still think my thighs are huge. They kind of are out of proportion to the rest of me.0
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When my weight fluctuates a few pounds, I look fat to me.0
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I went from 300 down to 208 I've gained back a little bit. I'm still not skinny (and never will be) but I am definitely a completely different shape now. At this point, I feel like I am well within the range of "normal" as far as body size, even though I am certainly much taller than the average woman.
It took me a LONG time to adjust. Still, I will see myself in a mirror once in a while accidentally and not recognize myself. The other day I was walking into a grocery store at night and I thought I saw myself reflected in the windows as I approached the store--turns out it was a much shorter, much fatter woman who was walking into the store from the other direction. Compared to her, I looked like a ballerina.
So I guess I still see myself as fatter and generally rounder than I am. It's a type of dysmorphia, I suppose, but it does get better over time.
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mrsmuckster wrote: »I think I have the problem more reverse- when at my heaviest- I don't think I saw myself in the mirror as "that heavy" until I saw a picture. Now, I take a selfie every once in a while, for whatever reason my perspective is different. Not sure if that makes sense.
That is exactly how I am also. Until I saw myself in a photograph (and then the number on the scale) I didn't feel like I looked nearly as heavy as I was. I still am that way. I've lost a decent amount of weight and it shows. I see the loss in the mirror and feel pretty good. Then I see a photo and what I see is a very large person.
Self perception is weird, lol.
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Carol - I so hear you. But a lot of that's exercise and not diet. And I have to go by that BMI and 'ideal weight too'! It's too easy to get caught up in 'never too thin'.0
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