Do you think it's ok to 'love your body' whatever shape?

iwillbetinytea

PLEASE DO NOT think this is an attack on overweight people. I'd like some nice friendly debate.

My friend who is at uni is obese (by Doctor's standards, not mine). In fact I'm pretty sure she may be verging on morbidly obese.

She's doing a project about how society perceives her and other people, because of the size they are. For example overweight people are seen as unattractive, and models are seen as beauty.

I love what she is doing I genuinely do, but I do see flaws in her argument. She clearly has issues with food, as one may have issues with food if they were a model - different issues.

My question is, should we be saying it is ok to love your body whatever your size, even if you could be severely undernourished by either eating too much of the wrong foods or not enough of the right ones?

My personal opinion is no. I think overweight people should be conscious of their health, just like an underweight person should be. I don't think it is ok to say love your body whatever the shape as this may enable continuation of unhealthy eating habits.

nikilis

ho ho.... this is going to be interesting.

cjs3001

The way I see it is that if you don't love yourself a bit then you won't do anything to change it. People usually have such a low self esteem that they don't want to change so there's got to be a bit of respect for yourself and your body otherwise you'll never change. That's how I got to 265 pounds. There's obviously an argument for loving your body but I think you've got to love yourself otherwise you'll just never bother.

glitterstreet

You should love yourself enough to realize when your unhealthy and need to change. Ignorance is not bliss.

LilMissDB

The way I see it is that if you don't love yourself a bit then you won't do anything to change it. People usually have such a low self esteem that they don't want to change so there's got to be a bit of respect for yourself and your body otherwise you'll never change. That's how I got to 265 pounds. There's obviously an argument for loving your body but I think you've got to love yourself otherwise you'll just never bother.

I agree. I also think that weight or body shape is not always a good indicator of how healthy an individual's lifestyle is.

JessiBelleW

I am in two minds about this. I want to love my body, because I want to treat it with love and respect and also because even though I am over weight (according to my BMI I have just dropped from obese to overweight) I don't want to waste all my time and energy hating a part of me.
My body isn't perfect (and may never be) and it seems like I would be wasting so much time trying to have a perfect body in order to love myself and be happy

On the other hand I see where you are going with your statement. I too do not want to support the rising epidemic of obesity. However I don't think you should hate your body because it has gained some weight ((isn't that how many young people develop eating disorders?)

I think we should be encouraged to love our bodies and in a perfect world be taught how to nurture and really take care of our bodies by feeding them healthy foods. I dunno about you but I am much more likely to take care of something I care about.

Will be interesting to see where this goes

zilkram

I think 'loving your body' and 'loving yourself' are too tangled up.

I mean, when you're very overweight and society looks down on you and judges you to be lazy/ugly/smelly etc, it's a very damaging perception to your self-esteem. It often doesn't inspire you to change, but makes you retreat, hide away and double down on the comfort eating.

So I think it can be useful for someone to be fat-positive if it makes them feel better about themselves and to make the most of their lives. It's so much harder for someone to get out and about and *doing*, if they're constantly shamed for their size. A person is more likely to be able to make those changes if they have a bit of self-love.

kindasortachewy

Coming from a self-harm back ground I don't think anyone should ever hate themselves, I do think there are people out there who love every body type, and to each their own - I wish everyone loved their bodies enough to want to make them healthy but thats not the day and age we live in

---

What a hard question - I can off the top of my head think of a friend of mine who is morbidly obese, and a friend who is very low in the underweight BMI chart.. Do I love their bodies? No, do I think they should love their bodies, yes I do.

Why? Because its because they DON'T love their bodies that they are obese and underweight, if they loved their bodies they would not be treating themselves like that.

---

I am 5'11 and started my journey off at 235 pounds, I joined MFP at 213 pounds, and now I am 192 pounds. But, when I was at 235 pounds I was happy with myself, I loved how I ate, didn't mind how I looked, had great sex, and life was that. My mother asked me a week ago, how are you doing it, I mean I've tried to lose weight so many times how are you sticking with it..

My answer is I've never wanted to lose weight before, If I did I would have lost it. I never wanted to lose weight more than I wanted to be lazy and eat, because I loved being lazy, I loved eating, and I loved my body the way it was.

Now I love the idea of losing weight, working out, and the compliments and I love knowing I am improving my life and heath even more, but I can honestly say there was a point I loved my 33BMI body.

neandermagnon

Yes I think everyone should love their body, whatever their shape or size. However, my definition of "love your body" includes "do right by it" which includes "keep it healthy". So if someone truly loves their morbidly obese body then they will do right by it and get healthy. Even if they are focused on being healthy rather than thin (which IMO they should be) they will at least not end up being morbidly obese. Even if they don't want to be as thin as some sections of society would want them to be, they will at least end up healthy and accepting themselves for who they are, which is a lot more likely to lead to being happy as well as healthy.

Self hatred is a very negative place to start trying to get your body fat percentage into the healthy range, and if you hate yourself, I don't see how it's going to be easy to motivate yourself to become healthy. On the other hand, if you truly like and accept yourself, you have the motivation there already to get healthy. You wouldn't want anyone else that you love to carry on being unhealthy, so why do that to yourself? You don't... you love yourself enough to look after yourself properly and get healthy. I've come across many people who are very obese, hate themselves, and have no motivation to change because they hate themselves. Maybe they have to learn how to love themselves to be able to find the motivation to make whatever changes they need to to be able to get healthy.

Also I've lost count of how many people get to their goal weight and find that the body hatred doesn't go away. So they end up thinking I'll just make this change and that change, lose another 5kg and *then* I'll be happy, and *then* I'll like myself.... but it doesn't happen. And if this kind of thinking goes on indefinitely, it can lead to eating disorders and other health problems.

Many thin people are not healthy or happy, yet no-one tells them they're not allowed to love their bodies until they're healthy.

The sooner everyone learns to love their body and also to look after them well and stay healthy, the better.

diodelcibo

It's fine to love your body no whatever it looks like but at the same time you need to understand how attractive your body is generally perceived to be; not everyone is beautiful.

nikilis

theres accepting people for who they are rather than judging them for what they look like, and the health of the individual. being overweight or underweight doesn't necessarily make the individual unattractive, but from a health standpoint, which is unrelated to this, it is not good at all.

so yes, everyone is a beautiful snowflake in a perfect PC world.

but weather or not people accept you as over or underweight doesn't change the fact that it is hazardous to your health.

shes allowed to feel good about herself, but it doesn't change the fact that your body isn't meant to weigh 250lb if you're 5'1.

that will kill yo *kitten* like a sack of potatoes.

Aweriah

I think you're right. While people should be proud of their genetic materials, the most important thing is to eat healthy and get regular exercise. Some people are overweight due to evolution (like in Tonga which is a little island, the people didn't have enough food for a long time, so they're the fattest country in the world due to evolution). I think it's really great what she's doing, but health trumps that. Models often have other problems as you say, by not eating enough. It is good to love your body, but remember that you're also a rolemodel for younger people and that health is one of the most important things.

Velum_cado

Loving your body and recognising the damage your diet is doing are two different things. If you don't love your body why would you care enough to take care of it?

healthytanya1

Personally I don't believe fat people who say they love their body and don't want or need to change it. I think back when I was into the obese area by just a few lbs and now i've lost 30 and still overweight. When I was at my heaviest it was hard to do the basic things in life like walking up stairs. How could anyone be happy with that? Just my thought. Even anorexic people are battling their own demons inside their head so i'm sure thats hard too.

healthytanya1

I also think here in America we are distorted on what is a healthy weight so people are ok with being a little overweight cuz they think thats normal.

Tysonlovesweights

There are some pretty compelling arguments FOR loving yourself at whatever size/shape you are, and there are certainly a lot of socially constructed ideas of beauty out there that need to be re-evaluated, but they tend to change every few years anyway regarding body size etc. Sometimes the ultra skinny girl is "beautiful", sometimes the kardashian assed girl with the volumptous curves is beautiful. I am a firm believer in the "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" philosophy, and realized that many people's self esteem is heavily linked to their own idea of what is considered beautiful, so in that regard having the notion that your body is beautiful is a GOOD THING.........however................I also feel that all this love your body business is as the OP stated enabling and excusing people who are in poor health and have issues with food to continue down that path because "it's okay to be me" or whatever. The rates of both obesity and eating disorders these days are staggering, and telling people that they are okay the way they are does't help all people. very complex issue to think about, talk about etc. There is clearly not a one size fits answer to the question, but I think that as long as a person is HEALTHY, and is able to enjoy their life, have self respect and self esteem, and love him or herself, loving your body at whatever size is okay by me.

nikilis

I also think here in America we are distorted on what is a healthy weight so people are ok with being a little overweight cuz they think thats normal.

yup. but if yall stopped consuming 5 times what yall actually need your economy would collapse.

AlexThreeClaw

It's not just okay, I applaud it. I do think it's best to love your body whatever it's shape. I don't want to encourage unhealthy extremes but I do think being content and comfortable in you own skin, loving your body, doing what makes you happy, is far more important than being in peak physical condition.

That said, it's not cool to make yourself ill because of the way you want to look. You could have the prettiest body in the world but that doesn't mean a thing if your heart doesn't beat right, your lungs don't work properly, your liver needs replacing, etc.

ironanimal

Define 'love' in this case.

If it means stuffing it full of cupcakes and screaming "SO WHAT IF IM FAT, IM FABULOUS" when your genitals are disappearing into the depths of your belly rolls, then no, it's not okay.

If it means "I'm okay with myself, but I need to look after it" then yes.

yuliyax

Personally I think it is wonderful to love yourself, and your body! However, I think UK is becoming "fat blind". There was a research stating that 9 out of 10 people couldn't identify an obese body and seven out of 10 of obese people didn’t know they were obese, which means that they didn't know how there weight is impacting their health. And this fat blindness is causing people to delay seeking help until they’re significantly overweight.... not good.

tinyzombie

Loving your body and recognising the damage your diet is doing are two different things. If you don't love your body why would you care enough to take care of it?

This is exactly how I feel about it. I never wanted to lose weight more than when I started loving my body.

pluckabee

I also think here in America we are distorted on what is a healthy weight so people are ok with being a little overweight cuz they think thats normal.

People are also distorted in the other way and people are ok with being underweight or are trying to attain an underweight BMI because they think it's a healthy weight.

Also a study has shown that being an overweight BMI has slightly lowered risk of death than people of even normal weight.

http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/recipe-for-a-long-life-overweight-people-have-lower-death-risk-8434743.html

SilverLotusGirl

PLEASE DO NOT think this is an attack on overweight people. I'd like some nice friendly debate.

My friend who is at uni is obese (by Doctor's standards, not mine). In fact I'm pretty sure she may be verging on morbidly obese.

She's doing a project about how society perceives her and other people, because of the size they are. For example overweight people are seen as unattractive, and models are seen as beauty.

I love what she is doing I genuinely do, but I do see flaws in her argument. She clearly has issues with food, as one may have issues with food if they were a model - different issues.

My question is, should we be saying it is ok to love your body whatever your size, even if you could be severely undernourished by either eating too much of the wrong foods or not enough of the right ones?

My personal opinion is no. I think overweight people should be conscious of their health, just like an underweight person should be. I don't think it is ok to say love your body whatever the shape as this may enable continuation of unhealthy eating habits.

I disagree. I'm overweight, by dr standards I'm obese and I love my body. I love my body so much that I know that I need to feed it better and move it more and make it stronger. It is possible to do both and it's a lot harder to work on being healthy if it doesn't come from a place of self love. It's really really hard to take care of something you hate. And it is possible to love something while you're in the process of changing it. You don't hate a house because you remodel the bathroom and repaint the shutters.

Now do I think it's okay to be unhealthy and to continue eating junk and not exercising claiming that you love your body the way it is, not for me personally, but if that's what makes someone happy, their body, their health, their issues.

pluckabee

I think loving yourself just as you are, and continuing an unhealthy lifestyle are two different things entirely.

OP claims to not be hating on fat people but it is exactly the argument and the view she is talking about that is harmful and has totally stemmed from fat hate.

To say to someone that they aren't allowed to love themselves until they reach an allowed weight is frankly horrifying because you do realise that even if they change their habits and try to become a healthier person THEY STILL HAVE TO BE THAT OVERWEIGHT PERSON while they get there. So they have to try and look after themselves, while hating themselves until they get to a bodyweight that is acceptable. Only then can you love yourself

Can you see how ridiculous that sounds? How awful? How impossible that seems?

You can totally love and accept your body, but that doesn't mean you cant also try and be healthier or try and lose weight. It is still your body regardless so love it always and try to promote living healthily as loving your body, not loving it based on aesthetics.

Buddhasmiracle

Yes I think everyone should love their body, whatever their shape or size. However, my definition of "love your body" includes "do right by it" which includes "keep it healthy". So if someone truly loves their morbidly obese body then they will do right by it and get healthy. Even if they are focused on being healthy rather than thin (which IMO they should be) they will at least not end up being morbidly obese. Even if they don't want to be as thin as some sections of society would want them to be, they will at least end up healthy and accepting themselves for who they are, which is a lot more likely to lead to being happy as well as healthy.

Self hatred is a very negative place to start trying to get your body fat percentage into the healthy range, and if you hate yourself, I don't see how it's going to be easy to motivate yourself to become healthy. On the other hand, if you truly like and accept yourself, you have the motivation there already to get healthy. You wouldn't want anyone else that you love to carry on being unhealthy, so why do that to yourself? You don't... you love yourself enough to look after yourself properly and get healthy. I've come across many people who are very obese, hate themselves, and have no motivation to change because they hate themselves. Maybe they have to learn how to love themselves to be able to find the motivation to make whatever changes they need to to be able to get healthy.

Also I've lost count of how many people get to their goal weight and find that the body hatred doesn't go away. So they end up thinking I'll just make this change and that change, lose another 5kg and *then* I'll be happy, and *then* I'll like myself.... but it doesn't happen. And if this kind of thinking goes on indefinitely, it can lead to eating disorders and other health problems.

Many thin people are not healthy or happy, yet no-one tells them they're not allowed to love their bodies until they're healthy.

The sooner everyone learns to love their body and also to look after them well and stay healthy, the better.

very well said.

patentguru

PLEASE DO NOT think this is an attack on overweight people. I'd like some nice friendly debate.

My friend who is at uni is obese (by Doctor's standards, not mine). In fact I'm pretty sure she may be verging on morbidly obese.

She's doing a project about how society perceives her and other people, because of the size they are. For example overweight people are seen as unattractive, and models are seen as beauty.

I love what she is doing I genuinely do, but I do see flaws in her argument. She clearly has issues with food, as one may have issues with food if they were a model - different issues.

My question is, should we be saying it is ok to love your body whatever your size, even if you could be severely undernourished by either eating too much of the wrong foods or not enough of the right ones?

My personal opinion is no. I think overweight people should be conscious of their health, just like an underweight person should be. I don't think it is ok to say love your body whatever the shape as this may enable continuation of unhealthy eating habits.

Yes- I have been overweight, weak, injured, etc. However, whenever I looked in the mirror I saw no flaws-I liked myself and always had a positive attitude. I was able to change my diet and exercise without disliking myself. If you look negatively towards yourself (look for flaws in the mirror)-you will never like yourself as there is always better. Being depressed and not liking oneself is a miserable existence.

jennifer_417

I think it's imperative to love your body, no matte what shape it's in. Here's why: if you love something, then you do whatever you can to take care of it. People generally become overweight in the first place because they DON'T love themselves, and therefor don't put the necessary effort into caring for themselves by making sure they are healthy.

darrensurrey

My personal opinion is no. I think overweight people should be conscious of their health, just like an underweight person should be. I don't think it is ok to say love your body whatever the shape as this may enable continuation of unhealthy eating habits.

Yes, I agree on the one hand. But I have two hands... well, hooves. Ok, I have four hooves. But you get the idea.

So, on the other hoof, we should be encouraged to love ourselves, flaws and all. And because we now love ourselves, why would we then punish it by either starving it or feeding it poison? We'd cherish it like a classic car, servicing it regularly, putting the best fuel into it etc.

Vailara

PLEASE DO NOT think this is an attack on overweight people. I'd like some nice friendly debate.

My friend who is at uni is obese (by Doctor's standards, not mine). In fact I'm pretty sure she may be verging on morbidly obese.

She's doing a project about how society perceives her and other people, because of the size they are. For example overweight people are seen as unattractive, and models are seen as beauty.

I love what she is doing I genuinely do, but I do see flaws in her argument. She clearly has issues with food, as one may have issues with food if they were a model - different issues.

My question is, should we be saying it is ok to love your body whatever your size, even if you could be severely undernourished by either eating too much of the wrong foods or not enough of the right ones?

My personal opinion is no. I think overweight people should be conscious of their health, just like an underweight person should be. I don't think it is ok to say love your body whatever the shape as this may enable continuation of unhealthy eating habits.

I don't agree. I feel that you're talking about what are really two separate things, body image and disordered eating. (Probably three separate things if you include health). But I'd agree that it's difficult to pick them apart!

I don't feel it's mentally healthy to hate your body, and I don't think it's a good idea to encourage it. I've managed to lose weight without having to hate my body. I was OK with my (borderline morbidly obese) body before I lost the weight and I'm OK with it now. In fact, I think it might have been HARDER to lose weight if I'd hated my body. It would have felt like I was punishing myself and my body.

And at what point would it become OK to love your body? Obese? Overweight? Healthy BMI range? The truth is that although we see success stories here, many many people either fail to lose the weight or regain it and/or yoyo diet. Trying to lose weight isn't necessarily the healthy option, and it's statistically unlikely to succeed long-term. In the meantime, I'd rather people were happy with their bodies.

If you love your body, you're more likely to want to treat it right.

JDBLY11

Personally I don't believe fat people who say they love their body and don't want or need to change it. I think back when I was into the obese area by just a few lbs and now i've lost 30 and still overweight. When I was at my heaviest it was hard to do the basic things in life like walking up stairs. How could anyone be happy with that? Just my thought. Even anorexic people are battling their own demons inside their head so i'm sure thats hard too.

I had a different experience. When I was 200 lbs at 5'6'' I had no problems doing basic things. I could walk 4-5 miles. I had no problems with stairs. I did not have to shop in the big girl section. At around 180 I could exercise at a normal intermediate level even advanced sometimes and I had no problems with everyday activities. I was able to get pregnant. I could lift weights. I could run for a while. I hiked trails and up stairs with no problem. I could go to amusement parks and stay for hours and it was not overly exerting. I could go to the beach and stay in the water for hours. My dad is about 60 lbs overweight and he can do a lot too, but he is working to improve himself and lose weight. My grandma was a little overweight and lived to be 82 and my grandpa has a belly and is in his 80's too.

The only time I started having problems with everyday activities is when I get to like 240 and above. It really hits hard at 270. I find it hard to do everyday activities and my hips have problems.

kazzsjourney

I dont think there is anything wrong with loving your body no matter your shape...in fact I think its important too...BUT....i think its just as important if not more important to recognise health risks, body shape is aesthetics...how your body performs and how healthy it is is more important in my opinion.