Do you think it's ok to 'love your body' whatever shape?

pluckabee

I also think here in America we are distorted on what is a healthy weight so people are ok with being a little overweight cuz they think thats normal.

People are also distorted in the other way and people are ok with being underweight or are trying to attain an underweight BMI because they think it's a healthy weight.

Also a study has shown that being an overweight BMI has slightly lowered risk of death than people of even normal weight.

http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/recipe-for-a-long-life-overweight-people-have-lower-death-risk-8434743.html

SilverLotusGirl

PLEASE DO NOT think this is an attack on overweight people. I'd like some nice friendly debate.

My friend who is at uni is obese (by Doctor's standards, not mine). In fact I'm pretty sure she may be verging on morbidly obese.

She's doing a project about how society perceives her and other people, because of the size they are. For example overweight people are seen as unattractive, and models are seen as beauty.

I love what she is doing I genuinely do, but I do see flaws in her argument. She clearly has issues with food, as one may have issues with food if they were a model - different issues.

My question is, should we be saying it is ok to love your body whatever your size, even if you could be severely undernourished by either eating too much of the wrong foods or not enough of the right ones?

My personal opinion is no. I think overweight people should be conscious of their health, just like an underweight person should be. I don't think it is ok to say love your body whatever the shape as this may enable continuation of unhealthy eating habits.

I disagree. I'm overweight, by dr standards I'm obese and I love my body. I love my body so much that I know that I need to feed it better and move it more and make it stronger. It is possible to do both and it's a lot harder to work on being healthy if it doesn't come from a place of self love. It's really really hard to take care of something you hate. And it is possible to love something while you're in the process of changing it. You don't hate a house because you remodel the bathroom and repaint the shutters.

Now do I think it's okay to be unhealthy and to continue eating junk and not exercising claiming that you love your body the way it is, not for me personally, but if that's what makes someone happy, their body, their health, their issues.

pluckabee

I think loving yourself just as you are, and continuing an unhealthy lifestyle are two different things entirely.

OP claims to not be hating on fat people but it is exactly the argument and the view she is talking about that is harmful and has totally stemmed from fat hate.

To say to someone that they aren't allowed to love themselves until they reach an allowed weight is frankly horrifying because you do realise that even if they change their habits and try to become a healthier person THEY STILL HAVE TO BE THAT OVERWEIGHT PERSON while they get there. So they have to try and look after themselves, while hating themselves until they get to a bodyweight that is acceptable. Only then can you love yourself

Can you see how ridiculous that sounds? How awful? How impossible that seems?

You can totally love and accept your body, but that doesn't mean you cant also try and be healthier or try and lose weight. It is still your body regardless so love it always and try to promote living healthily as loving your body, not loving it based on aesthetics.

Buddhasmiracle

Yes I think everyone should love their body, whatever their shape or size. However, my definition of "love your body" includes "do right by it" which includes "keep it healthy". So if someone truly loves their morbidly obese body then they will do right by it and get healthy. Even if they are focused on being healthy rather than thin (which IMO they should be) they will at least not end up being morbidly obese. Even if they don't want to be as thin as some sections of society would want them to be, they will at least end up healthy and accepting themselves for who they are, which is a lot more likely to lead to being happy as well as healthy.

Self hatred is a very negative place to start trying to get your body fat percentage into the healthy range, and if you hate yourself, I don't see how it's going to be easy to motivate yourself to become healthy. On the other hand, if you truly like and accept yourself, you have the motivation there already to get healthy. You wouldn't want anyone else that you love to carry on being unhealthy, so why do that to yourself? You don't... you love yourself enough to look after yourself properly and get healthy. I've come across many people who are very obese, hate themselves, and have no motivation to change because they hate themselves. Maybe they have to learn how to love themselves to be able to find the motivation to make whatever changes they need to to be able to get healthy.

Also I've lost count of how many people get to their goal weight and find that the body hatred doesn't go away. So they end up thinking I'll just make this change and that change, lose another 5kg and *then* I'll be happy, and *then* I'll like myself.... but it doesn't happen. And if this kind of thinking goes on indefinitely, it can lead to eating disorders and other health problems.

Many thin people are not healthy or happy, yet no-one tells them they're not allowed to love their bodies until they're healthy.

The sooner everyone learns to love their body and also to look after them well and stay healthy, the better.

very well said.

patentguru

PLEASE DO NOT think this is an attack on overweight people. I'd like some nice friendly debate.

My friend who is at uni is obese (by Doctor's standards, not mine). In fact I'm pretty sure she may be verging on morbidly obese.

She's doing a project about how society perceives her and other people, because of the size they are. For example overweight people are seen as unattractive, and models are seen as beauty.

I love what she is doing I genuinely do, but I do see flaws in her argument. She clearly has issues with food, as one may have issues with food if they were a model - different issues.

My question is, should we be saying it is ok to love your body whatever your size, even if you could be severely undernourished by either eating too much of the wrong foods or not enough of the right ones?

My personal opinion is no. I think overweight people should be conscious of their health, just like an underweight person should be. I don't think it is ok to say love your body whatever the shape as this may enable continuation of unhealthy eating habits.

Yes- I have been overweight, weak, injured, etc. However, whenever I looked in the mirror I saw no flaws-I liked myself and always had a positive attitude. I was able to change my diet and exercise without disliking myself. If you look negatively towards yourself (look for flaws in the mirror)-you will never like yourself as there is always better. Being depressed and not liking oneself is a miserable existence.

jennifer_417

I think it's imperative to love your body, no matte what shape it's in. Here's why: if you love something, then you do whatever you can to take care of it. People generally become overweight in the first place because they DON'T love themselves, and therefor don't put the necessary effort into caring for themselves by making sure they are healthy.

darrensurrey

My personal opinion is no. I think overweight people should be conscious of their health, just like an underweight person should be. I don't think it is ok to say love your body whatever the shape as this may enable continuation of unhealthy eating habits.

Yes, I agree on the one hand. But I have two hands... well, hooves. Ok, I have four hooves. But you get the idea.

So, on the other hoof, we should be encouraged to love ourselves, flaws and all. And because we now love ourselves, why would we then punish it by either starving it or feeding it poison? We'd cherish it like a classic car, servicing it regularly, putting the best fuel into it etc.

Vailara

PLEASE DO NOT think this is an attack on overweight people. I'd like some nice friendly debate.

My friend who is at uni is obese (by Doctor's standards, not mine). In fact I'm pretty sure she may be verging on morbidly obese.

She's doing a project about how society perceives her and other people, because of the size they are. For example overweight people are seen as unattractive, and models are seen as beauty.

I love what she is doing I genuinely do, but I do see flaws in her argument. She clearly has issues with food, as one may have issues with food if they were a model - different issues.

My question is, should we be saying it is ok to love your body whatever your size, even if you could be severely undernourished by either eating too much of the wrong foods or not enough of the right ones?

My personal opinion is no. I think overweight people should be conscious of their health, just like an underweight person should be. I don't think it is ok to say love your body whatever the shape as this may enable continuation of unhealthy eating habits.

I don't agree. I feel that you're talking about what are really two separate things, body image and disordered eating. (Probably three separate things if you include health). But I'd agree that it's difficult to pick them apart!

I don't feel it's mentally healthy to hate your body, and I don't think it's a good idea to encourage it. I've managed to lose weight without having to hate my body. I was OK with my (borderline morbidly obese) body before I lost the weight and I'm OK with it now. In fact, I think it might have been HARDER to lose weight if I'd hated my body. It would have felt like I was punishing myself and my body.

And at what point would it become OK to love your body? Obese? Overweight? Healthy BMI range? The truth is that although we see success stories here, many many people either fail to lose the weight or regain it and/or yoyo diet. Trying to lose weight isn't necessarily the healthy option, and it's statistically unlikely to succeed long-term. In the meantime, I'd rather people were happy with their bodies.

If you love your body, you're more likely to want to treat it right.

JDBLY11

Personally I don't believe fat people who say they love their body and don't want or need to change it. I think back when I was into the obese area by just a few lbs and now i've lost 30 and still overweight. When I was at my heaviest it was hard to do the basic things in life like walking up stairs. How could anyone be happy with that? Just my thought. Even anorexic people are battling their own demons inside their head so i'm sure thats hard too.

I had a different experience. When I was 200 lbs at 5'6'' I had no problems doing basic things. I could walk 4-5 miles. I had no problems with stairs. I did not have to shop in the big girl section. At around 180 I could exercise at a normal intermediate level even advanced sometimes and I had no problems with everyday activities. I was able to get pregnant. I could lift weights. I could run for a while. I hiked trails and up stairs with no problem. I could go to amusement parks and stay for hours and it was not overly exerting. I could go to the beach and stay in the water for hours. My dad is about 60 lbs overweight and he can do a lot too, but he is working to improve himself and lose weight. My grandma was a little overweight and lived to be 82 and my grandpa has a belly and is in his 80's too.

The only time I started having problems with everyday activities is when I get to like 240 and above. It really hits hard at 270. I find it hard to do everyday activities and my hips have problems.

kazzsjourney

I dont think there is anything wrong with loving your body no matter your shape...in fact I think its important too...BUT....i think its just as important if not more important to recognise health risks, body shape is aesthetics...how your body performs and how healthy it is is more important in my opinion.

LaurenAOK

It is perfectly possible to be "conscious of your health" and still love your body. I'm extremely health-conscious but I still focus on body positivity.

Of course I think obese people should take control of their health, but it doesn't mean they should love themselves any less in the process. In fact, they should take control of their health BECAUSE they love themselves. "I love my body, so I'm going to treat it well like it deserves."

If you don't love yourself at any size, you will NOT start loving yourself once you lose weight. I learned that the hard way. I know MANY people (including myself) who were miserable in their body, lost weight, and surprise, were still miserable. It's about attitude and self-image, not weight. Learn to love yourself and the rest will follow.

CrazyTrackLady

Here's an interesting angle:

What if we focused on loving ourselves for what's on the inside instead of outside? I think we are placing too much value on the outside appearance.

Healthy people have a balance between social, physical, emotional and mental health. If we work on adjusting and getting those into homeostasis, then I say things will all balance out in the end.

I believe that extremes (morbid obesity and anorexia) are not caused by someone's eating habits. They are caused by the mental/emotional imbalances and struggles of that person. Based on what is going on inside, they affect the outside (physical) health.

Let's face it -- it's not about what you're eating or not eating, it's about the underlying issues that keep you in that destructive, unhealthy state. The ONLY way to get back into balance is by dealing with the internal struggles that got you there in the first place.

Some people overeat/under eat because they are unhappy, or maybe their lives are spinning out of control, and the only thing they CAN control is the food they consume.

Some people overeat/under eat because they are masking emotional scars from childhood - again, the lack of control over the way they were raised (abuse, molestation, neglect, etc).

ONLY when those issues are dealt with will the healing begin. It's never about the food, it's about the underlying issues that have driven people to over or under consumption.

autniccole

I am currently what is considered "morbidly obese" (yes, even after losing 34 pounds) I certainly did not get to be this overweight by loving my body too much. I got here through years of depression and self-loathing which I "treated" with binges, and laying in bed for days on end. When I began to love my body (and more importantly, myself as a whole) is when I was able to pull myself out of that depression and take a step forward and make positive, healthy changes to "fix" my weight.

It's important to realize also, though, that just because someone is thin, does not mean that they are healthy. Just because someone is fat does not make them unhealthy. I have no health problems (other than fibromyalgia, which is certainly not something you "catch" by gaining weight), great blood pressure, no diabetes (or even pre-diabetes), my cholesterol is great, and I eat pretty dang well.

But, to many strangers on the street, I'm sure all they see is another fat person...another gross slob who just *must* go home and cram herself full of cupcakes before taking her insulin. And honestly? For years, that's why I wouldn't *dare* go for a walk or a jog outside or show my face at the gym. Because of judgmental, rude people that made me second-guess myself, and made me question my love of myself. I'm finally to a point in my life now though that my love for ME and my body and my health is stronger than the stares of strangers. Wish it could have been that way 70 pounds earlier.

pluckabee

I am currently what is considered "morbidly obese" (yes, even after losing 34 pounds) I certainly did not get to be this overweight by loving my body too much. I got here through years of depression and self-loathing which I "treated" with binges, and laying in bed for days on end. When I began to love my body (and more importantly, myself as a whole) is when I was able to pull myself out of that depression and take a step forward and make positive, healthy changes to "fix" my weight.

It's important to realize also, though, that just because someone is thin, does not mean that they are healthy. Just because someone is fat does not make them unhealthy. I have no health problems (other than fibromyalgia, which is certainly not something you "catch" by gaining weight), great blood pressure, no diabetes (or even pre-diabetes), my cholesterol is great, and I eat pretty dang well.

But, to many strangers on the street, I'm sure all they see is another fat person...another gross slob who just *must* go home and cram herself full of cupcakes before taking her insulin. And honestly? For years, that's why I wouldn't *dare* go for a walk or a jog outside or show my face at the gym. Because of judgmental, rude people that made me second-guess myself, and made me question my love of myself. I'm finally to a point in my life now though that my love for ME and my body and my health is stronger than the stares of strangers. Wish it could have been that way 70 pounds earlier.

Thank you for sharing this!

People that seem so 'concerned' for other peoples health that they judge and tell them to hate themselves need to hear stories like this.

CrazyTrackLady

I'm curious to know what everyone thinks of the statements below. Do you agree with the perceptions out there?

If you're morbidly obese, you MUST be very lazy.

If you're extremely scary skinny, you MUST be very driven.

It fascinates me how we can all jump to certain conclusions just based on physical appearance.

goodtimezzzz

My everyday mantra..." I love myself I am incredible I am Amazing....thank you God for...me..:) and then everything started changing for the better...especially the body!!

ChristinaR720

Yes I think everyone should love their body, whatever their shape or size. However, my definition of "love your body" includes "do right by it" which includes "keep it healthy". So if someone truly loves their morbidly obese body then they will do right by it and get healthy. Even if they are focused on being healthy rather than thin (which IMO they should be) they will at least not end up being morbidly obese. Even if they don't want to be as thin as some sections of society would want them to be, they will at least end up healthy and accepting themselves for who they are, which is a lot more likely to lead to being happy as well as healthy.

Self hatred is a very negative place to start trying to get your body fat percentage into the healthy range, and if you hate yourself, I don't see how it's going to be easy to motivate yourself to become healthy. On the other hand, if you truly like and accept yourself, you have the motivation there already to get healthy. You wouldn't want anyone else that you love to carry on being unhealthy, so why do that to yourself? You don't... you love yourself enough to look after yourself properly and get healthy. I've come across many people who are very obese, hate themselves, and have no motivation to change because they hate themselves. Maybe they have to learn how to love themselves to be able to find the motivation to make whatever changes they need to to be able to get healthy.

Also I've lost count of how many people get to their goal weight and find that the body hatred doesn't go away. So they end up thinking I'll just make this change and that change, lose another 5kg and *then* I'll be happy, and *then* I'll like myself.... but it doesn't happen. And if this kind of thinking goes on indefinitely, it can lead to eating disorders and other health problems.

Many thin people are not healthy or happy, yet no-one tells them they're not allowed to love their bodies until they're healthy.

The sooner everyone learns to love their body and also to look after them well and stay healthy, the better.

^^^This. 100% this.

Buddhasmiracle

There's another thread under "General Weight Loss . .. " > I think it's "taking responsibility for obesity" something like that. The OP posted the following link. The article, written by a Doctor, is excellent.

http://www.themonthly.com/au/issue/2013/march/1361848247/karen-hitchcock/fat-city

Not sure if copied the link correctly, but you will find it in that thread.

autniccole

There's another thread under "General Weight Loss . .. " > I think it's "taking responsibility for obesity" something like that. The OP posted the following link. The article, written by a Doctor, is excellent.

http://www.themonthly.com/au/issue/2013/march/1361848247/karen-hitchcock/fat-city

Not sure if copied the link correctly, but you will find it in that thread.

I read that article the other day and have never been more offended in my life. She says things like this, "She looked different from the rare very fat people I’d seen in Australia. She smelt good and her climate-controlled house meant she did not sweat. She was very well dressed. Her husband was some kind of professional; I didn’t know they even made suits that big." So, obese people are all supposed to sweat incessantly and stink? We aren't allowed to work in a professional environment?

Any "doctor" who speaks about people like myself in that way gets none of my respect, regardless of how many years of school they have taken, or whatever else they go on to say in the article. As soon as I read that, I immediately loathed this woman I've never even met.

ernestbecker

someone may have said this already, but I think the real question isn't about loving your body but yourself. Loving yourself enough to enjoy a healthy life style, whatever that is for each individual. I'm a firm believer that "most" people don't have weight issues. The real issues people deal with are making wise food choices and a lack of self control over food. That said, America doesn't have the best food options depending on your income range, etc... so the food supply does play some role in this, depending on your income level. All said, If a person will eat food as close to its natural state as possible (less processing) and walks or exercises 3-4 times per week for at least 30-60 minutes each time, they will have the body their genetics intended them to have and it will be a body to be proud of. If a person lives like this and still can't lose weight, then they indeed have a weight issue and should seek medical advice. This is my humble opinion and I love helping people and more especially love seeing the light come on when they realize they have the power to be healthy!