Do you think it's ok to 'love your body' whatever shape?
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It is perfectly possible to be "conscious of your health" and still love your body. I'm extremely health-conscious but I still focus on body positivity.
Of course I think obese people should take control of their health, but it doesn't mean they should love themselves any less in the process. In fact, they should take control of their health BECAUSE they love themselves. "I love my body, so I'm going to treat it well like it deserves."
If you don't love yourself at any size, you will NOT start loving yourself once you lose weight. I learned that the hard way. I know MANY people (including myself) who were miserable in their body, lost weight, and surprise, were still miserable. It's about attitude and self-image, not weight. Learn to love yourself and the rest will follow.0 -
Here's an interesting angle:
What if we focused on loving ourselves for what's on the inside instead of outside? I think we are placing too much value on the outside appearance.
Healthy people have a balance between social, physical, emotional and mental health. If we work on adjusting and getting those into homeostasis, then I say things will all balance out in the end.
I believe that extremes (morbid obesity and anorexia) are not caused by someone's eating habits. They are caused by the mental/emotional imbalances and struggles of that person. Based on what is going on inside, they affect the outside (physical) health.
Let's face it -- it's not about what you're eating or not eating, it's about the underlying issues that keep you in that destructive, unhealthy state. The ONLY way to get back into balance is by dealing with the internal struggles that got you there in the first place.
Some people overeat/under eat because they are unhappy, or maybe their lives are spinning out of control, and the only thing they CAN control is the food they consume.
Some people overeat/under eat because they are masking emotional scars from childhood - again, the lack of control over the way they were raised (abuse, molestation, neglect, etc).
ONLY when those issues are dealt with will the healing begin. It's never about the food, it's about the underlying issues that have driven people to over or under consumption.0 -
I am currently what is considered "morbidly obese" (yes, even after losing 34 pounds) I certainly did not get to be this overweight by loving my body too much. I got here through years of depression and self-loathing which I "treated" with binges, and laying in bed for days on end. When I began to love my body (and more importantly, myself as a whole) is when I was able to pull myself out of that depression and take a step forward and make positive, healthy changes to "fix" my weight.
It's important to realize also, though, that just because someone is thin, does not mean that they are healthy. Just because someone is fat does not make them unhealthy. I have no health problems (other than fibromyalgia, which is certainly not something you "catch" by gaining weight), great blood pressure, no diabetes (or even pre-diabetes), my cholesterol is great, and I eat pretty dang well.
But, to many strangers on the street, I'm sure all they see is another fat person...another gross slob who just *must* go home and cram herself full of cupcakes before taking her insulin. And honestly? For years, that's why I wouldn't *dare* go for a walk or a jog outside or show my face at the gym. Because of judgmental, rude people that made me second-guess myself, and made me question my love of myself. I'm finally to a point in my life now though that my love for ME and my body and my health is stronger than the stares of strangers. Wish it could have been that way 70 pounds earlier.0 -
I am currently what is considered "morbidly obese" (yes, even after losing 34 pounds) I certainly did not get to be this overweight by loving my body too much. I got here through years of depression and self-loathing which I "treated" with binges, and laying in bed for days on end. When I began to love my body (and more importantly, myself as a whole) is when I was able to pull myself out of that depression and take a step forward and make positive, healthy changes to "fix" my weight.
It's important to realize also, though, that just because someone is thin, does not mean that they are healthy. Just because someone is fat does not make them unhealthy. I have no health problems (other than fibromyalgia, which is certainly not something you "catch" by gaining weight), great blood pressure, no diabetes (or even pre-diabetes), my cholesterol is great, and I eat pretty dang well.
But, to many strangers on the street, I'm sure all they see is another fat person...another gross slob who just *must* go home and cram herself full of cupcakes before taking her insulin. And honestly? For years, that's why I wouldn't *dare* go for a walk or a jog outside or show my face at the gym. Because of judgmental, rude people that made me second-guess myself, and made me question my love of myself. I'm finally to a point in my life now though that my love for ME and my body and my health is stronger than the stares of strangers. Wish it could have been that way 70 pounds earlier.
Thank you for sharing this!
People that seem so 'concerned' for other peoples health that they judge and tell them to hate themselves need to hear stories like this.0 -
I'm curious to know what everyone thinks of the statements below. Do you agree with the perceptions out there?
If you're morbidly obese, you MUST be very lazy.
If you're extremely scary skinny, you MUST be very driven.
It fascinates me how we can all jump to certain conclusions just based on physical appearance.0 -
My everyday mantra..." I love myself I am incredible I am Amazing....thank you God for...me..:) and then everything started changing for the better...especially the body!!0
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Yes I think everyone should love their body, whatever their shape or size. However, my definition of "love your body" includes "do right by it" which includes "keep it healthy". So if someone truly loves their morbidly obese body then they will do right by it and get healthy. Even if they are focused on being healthy rather than thin (which IMO they should be) they will at least not end up being morbidly obese. Even if they don't want to be as thin as some sections of society would want them to be, they will at least end up healthy and accepting themselves for who they are, which is a lot more likely to lead to being happy as well as healthy.
Self hatred is a very negative place to start trying to get your body fat percentage into the healthy range, and if you hate yourself, I don't see how it's going to be easy to motivate yourself to become healthy. On the other hand, if you truly like and accept yourself, you have the motivation there already to get healthy. You wouldn't want anyone else that you love to carry on being unhealthy, so why do that to yourself? You don't... you love yourself enough to look after yourself properly and get healthy. I've come across many people who are very obese, hate themselves, and have no motivation to change because they hate themselves. Maybe they have to learn how to love themselves to be able to find the motivation to make whatever changes they need to to be able to get healthy.
Also I've lost count of how many people get to their goal weight and find that the body hatred doesn't go away. So they end up thinking I'll just make this change and that change, lose another 5kg and *then* I'll be happy, and *then* I'll like myself.... but it doesn't happen. And if this kind of thinking goes on indefinitely, it can lead to eating disorders and other health problems.
Many thin people are not healthy or happy, yet no-one tells them they're not allowed to love their bodies until they're healthy.
The sooner everyone learns to love their body and also to look after them well and stay healthy, the better.
^^^This. 100% this.0 -
There's another thread under "General Weight Loss . .. " > I think it's "taking responsibility for obesity" something like that. The OP posted the following link. The article, written by a Doctor, is excellent.
http://www.themonthly.com/au/issue/2013/march/1361848247/karen-hitchcock/fat-city
Not sure if copied the link correctly, but you will find it in that thread.0 -
There's another thread under "General Weight Loss . .. " > I think it's "taking responsibility for obesity" something like that. The OP posted the following link. The article, written by a Doctor, is excellent.
http://www.themonthly.com/au/issue/2013/march/1361848247/karen-hitchcock/fat-city
Not sure if copied the link correctly, but you will find it in that thread.
I read that article the other day and have never been more offended in my life. She says things like this, "She looked different from the rare very fat people I’d seen in Australia. She smelt good and her climate-controlled house meant she did not sweat. She was very well dressed. Her husband was some kind of professional; I didn’t know they even made suits that big." So, obese people are all supposed to sweat incessantly and stink? We aren't allowed to work in a professional environment?
Any "doctor" who speaks about people like myself in that way gets none of my respect, regardless of how many years of school they have taken, or whatever else they go on to say in the article. As soon as I read that, I immediately loathed this woman I've never even met.0 -
someone may have said this already, but I think the real question isn't about loving your body but yourself. Loving yourself enough to enjoy a healthy life style, whatever that is for each individual. I'm a firm believer that "most" people don't have weight issues. The real issues people deal with are making wise food choices and a lack of self control over food. That said, America doesn't have the best food options depending on your income range, etc... so the food supply does play some role in this, depending on your income level. All said, If a person will eat food as close to its natural state as possible (less processing) and walks or exercises 3-4 times per week for at least 30-60 minutes each time, they will have the body their genetics intended them to have and it will be a body to be proud of. If a person lives like this and still can't lose weight, then they indeed have a weight issue and should seek medical advice. This is my humble opinion and I love helping people and more especially love seeing the light come on when they realize they have the power to be healthy!0
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It's fine to love your body no whatever it looks like but at the same time you need to understand how attractive your body is generally perceived to be; not everyone is beautiful.
That's the harsh truth, regardless of whatever social construct of beauty is in place at the moment. Not everyone is beautiful, and it also shouldn't be the end of the world. No matter who you are, you will experience this one day. Even if you were drop-dead gorgeous at 20, you won't be at 40.
I think you should respect your body, appreciate your body, treat your body well, with the understanding that you have to figure out how to stand up to an often critical world.
Do the best with what you've got and move on. Disabling your body with excessive fat can never be construed as doing your best.0 -
I've reached a point in my life where to me, beauty is not described by what you look like, it is how you feel inside. So, I believe a person needs to love themselves before they can take care of that body God gave them to live in here on earth. I look forward to the day when my body shell doesn't matter. I try to look deep within myself - and yes, I have let my shell of a body get out of control. It is all about the choices we make and how we feel. I was always "big boned" as my grandfather would say - I have had a weight problem all my life. I don't know when I learned to love myself - I sometimes have a love / hate relationship with my inner being. It is at that time when I realize that I haven't let God in - I've been trying to do it myself. I can't do anything by myself, and when I try, I fail. When I talk to God, he uses other means to motivate me (like the my topics on MFP). So, can a morbidly obese person (and I truly hate that term) love their body? Yes, they can, only if they love their inner self. Is a person who says they love their body and abuse it need help? yes they do - and I hope they find the inner peace to do that. With God all things are possible. Everyone has a happy weight. My happy weight most likely still would be considered in medical terms obese. When I went in for my physical this year, my bad cholesterol was high. Overall, I was told I was very healthy - but needed to lose weight - the examination detail sheet had that word obese typed on it. The doctor never used that term. He just told me that in today's society, it is so easy to make the wrong food choices. I need to find what works for me and throw in some exercise. He didn't judge my weight, just encouraged me to do what works for me. Do I love my body right now? no - not really, but I love how I am starting to feel and in the long run, it will change my shell into a healthy dwelling place for me.0
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Yes
but if u are obese or overweight u need to do something abou t it
i lov e my fat self
but am working on a less fat self0 -
If you are obese (and I mean really obese, not obese according to the BMI chart, which is crap), I think it is pretty freaking clear that you DON'T love your body. You can talk all you want about self-acceptance and loving yourself as you are, but CHOOSING to be severely overweight is not loving your body. It is systematic TORTURE to your body. And focusing your frustration on how mean other people can be is classic psychological projection.0
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Different people have different priorities. If 'love your body' means idealize something that is obviously not ideal in order to mask a feeling of inadequacy, then no, I don't think people should delude themselves. However, if someone's body or health just isn't a priority for him or her, I don't think that's a sufficient basis for evaluating him or her as a person. Really, I'd rather see emotionally and spiritually healthy people walking around in the world than perfect physical specimens.0
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The way I see it is that if you don't love yourself a bit then you won't do anything to change it. People usually have such a low self esteem that they don't want to change so there's got to be a bit of respect for yourself and your body otherwise you'll never change. That's how I got to 265 pounds. There's obviously an argument for loving your body but I think you've got to love yourself otherwise you'll just never bother.
Very nicely said. It's not just about loving your body, but also respecting it.0 -
Yes, it's more than "ok" to love your body. Your body is more than a shape. It's more than a vessel for your vanity. It's part of who you are. You wouldn't be alive without it, and you'll have a lot more incentive to take care of it if you make eating properly and exercising part of loving it.0
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The more I think about this, the more I think I can say that I *do* love my body? Wanna know why? Because my morbidly obese legs can take me hiking up hills. They can take me down by the lake to watch the sun set over the marina. My big fat arms can lift weights, and then they can keep on lifting - and keep on working - even when they ache. My big fat stomach doesn't crave junk food anymore - and do you know why? Because my big fat heart loves my big fat body too much to let it keep on going downhill.
ETA: Just because you see someone with your eyes and they appear obese to you does NOT mean you know their story. That 250 pound girl might have been 450 pounds a few years ago. Any time you judge people based solely on what you see outside or you are doing a disservice to yourself. Everyone has their own journey and their own story. You can not make the assumption that just because someone is obese, they do not love themselves or take care of themselves or eat healthy & exercise.0 -
I think if people loved their own bodies from the get-go, they wouldn't develop food problems at either end of the spectrum. yes, societal pressure is a mind screw.0
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i think if people loved their own bodies from the get-go, they wouldn't develop food problems at either end of the spectrum. yes, societal pressure is a mind screw.0
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The more I think about this, the more I think I can say that I *do* love my body? Wanna know why? Because my morbidly obese legs can take me hiking up hills. They can take me down by the lake to watch the sun set over the marina. My big fat arms can lift weights, and then they can keep on lifting - and keep on working - even when they ache. My big fat stomach doesn't crave junk food anymore - and do you know why? Because my big fat heart loves my big fat body too much to let it keep on going downhill.
Best wishes to you! Great post.0 -
The most important thing is to love yourself. Improving yourself has very little to do with self love. Love who you are, not what you are. If you do not "like" your body, work hard to change it.0
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I think being conscious of your health and loving your body regardless of the shape are two distinctly different things.0
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When I made the decision to start this journey some time ago, I had really hit rock bottom and couldn't stand killing myself slowly anymore..I couldn't stand being unhappy and disgusted with myself on a daily basis. I was suffering with mental illness, a cigarette and food addiction and the worst of it was I wasn't spending enough time with my little girl and I didn't shower for weeks at a time.
Anyway that very day that I lost it..I cried for a very long time and I told myself that deep inside I was a good person..I just wasn't giving myself a chance. I also told myself because of being a good person with a lot to offer in life, I deserved to be happy.. so I had to start eating right and exercising to lose the weight. So do I love the way my body looks? Not yet.. but I do love myself and my body enough to treat it right and become healthy.0 -
I think it is very possible to love your body AND want to change it to be healthier.0
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I'm obese. I don't love my body image, but I accept it. Accepting what I have before me in the present was very important for the start of this journey, otherwise I simply tormented myself further.0
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I think people should love their body...whatever the shape. Because that is what will lead to good self-care and good health. A person's weight does not change how I feel about them. We all carry enough burdens. I see no need to add to another person's burdens by judging them and how they should or shouldn't feel.0
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Bodies are so very much more than our outward shell. My body has given birth to two children and kept me alive and healthy so far to raise them. Why would I hate it?
Should a veteran who lost a limb in combat hate their body because it is no longer perfect? Hell no!
I think loving your body as it is is an important part of taking ownership and starting to make changes to show more love to your body by caring for it.
NO ONE should be encouraged to hate their body, for whatever reason.0 -
Um, yes. Nobody should hate themselves because of their shape. Nobody.0
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i'm a Leo we always love ourselves!
but, YES i love myself and my body and even though i am
overweight now according to my husband of 32 years- " sexy " is my first name.
I love myself enough to care, which is why i quit smoking 24 years ago, only drink
occasionally and never to stupor. However, good southern cooking has always whooped
my *kitten*. So here i am, counting calories, doing portion control and moving more
( i used to move alot ) but life happened and i got too busy for myself, but now that
the nest is empty, its me time again.
Love yourself first, if you dont' how can you expect anybody else too.0
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