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We broke up because...
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I got bored0
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he spent all the money on comics0
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Didn't appreciate the comics0
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They were all hentai.0
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Her writes erotica about his close girlfriends, and didn't even include me.0
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Wanted me to write erotica about her when I knew her for less than a week and we hadn't done anything yet.0
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I offended him too often with my morbid sense of humor.0
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I looked like a man but hung like a toddler.0
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She thought beheading my Goldfish was Funny!0
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All she did was cry about what her ex did to her goldfish0
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She wanted to be the big spoon.0
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He was always Spooning the new Cute Girl!
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Didn't like cuddling with me because I always played with her hair.0
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Had a creepy obsession with my hair0
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He was always stroking.......
Other peoples
Hair
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Thought there was such a thing as a creep hair obsession. (Just let me cut some off if you're leaving) ((My precious))0
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She always made me feel ignored0
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That right there!^^^
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I wasn't good enough0
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Self esteem issues.0
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Because I was always late!0
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She kept getting pregnant by other people!0
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She couldn't commit0
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I loved her too much to put her in an asylum. And one night she ran away.0
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She tried to have me committed0
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He wouldn't commit either0
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Her idea of me committing was being like the James Caan character in the movie Misery0
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He made too many movie references0
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She didn't like movies so instead made me act them out for her in a one woman rendition then she would boo my performance.0
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He kept leaving me alone for long periods of time to go on cool trips and never took me.0
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