We broke up because...
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She was an ex girls gone wild0
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Bc she was too clingy0
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always stuck her tongue out at me0
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Never used his tongue.
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She was too sloppy....0
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She was to neat0
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Wouldn't drink his whiskey neat. Always had to turn it into a fruity cocktail0
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She let all the guys at the bar do body shots off her0
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He was always going to the bar0
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Told me I needed barre classes. Clearly didn't like my legs.0
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Never bought me enough chocolate0
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she ate all the chocolate0
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She only liked white chocolate (bleah)0
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she didn't like white chocolate
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Said he like was against nutella0
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Said he couldn't play that funky music0
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I preferred caramel0
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Confused caramel for camel0
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always yelled the hump day camel saying0
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Pants never fit right. Camel toe, anyone?0
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she confused came toe with moose knuckles0
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Kept calling himself jaguar in bed0
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Had a kitty fetish0
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Wanted a cactus for christmas0
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Too prickly a personality0
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Kept stealing my glasses0
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Switched to contacts0
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I never got enough contact to be happy0
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Asked if I went to yoga0
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she was never satisfied0
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