We broke up because...

guycooks

She didn't want me to have any friends.

Kvm11628

He just stopped wanting me.

handyrunner

Oh the static cling

Kvm11628

Never did his laundry

handyrunner

Never did my laundry

Kvm11628

Expected me to do everything.

Nograce80

Everything was our friend. Just wanted her to try something new

Hey_Its_That_One_Guy

Almost killed me multiple times "trying something new." The Rattlesnake was the last straw.

Unknown

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Nograce80

Her pet snakes slept in my bed

Hey_Its_That_One_Guy

She called herself "the Snake Whisperer" then tried to sleep with all my friends.

Kvm11628

Wanted me to call him One Eyed Snake.

Hey_Its_That_One_Guy

Didn't like the Escape From ____ Movies. Snake Plisken is my hero.

Kvm11628

Only watched the movies. Never read the books.

Nograce80

Would tell me about the good old days! You know, Like before he met me!

mnshanbhag

too much big bang theory

Wonderwomanvik

She couldn't get to the point

mnshanbhag

always called me she

Kvm11628

csbnga wrote: »

Never read real books, only read on an ereader. Why, back in my day....

OMG, that cut me to the core.

She never had a point.

Wonderwomanvik

She pointed out every flaw

mnshanbhag

she was more interested in @kimvmajor

Wonderwomanvik

mnshanbhag wrote: »

she was more interested in @kimvmajor

Of course

He was jealous

Unknown

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Timshel_

Ran outa beer

mnshanbhag

never took her bra off

TTopless

He was too into women's underthings.

slimgirljo15

I had no idea if it was a he or she..

Kvm11628

She had gender confusion

FabulousFantasticFifty

She always looked at me with a judgmental look on her face

Wonderwomanvik

She was the judge in my trial. She sentenced me to death