We broke up because...

FabulousFantasticFifty

Was always taking the Lords name in Vain!

_fitness4life_

Buttered the toilet seat and then laughed when I slid off!!

FabulousFantasticFifty

Couldn't take a joke
Then sued me!

nitroalley

That dress
Played jokes on me

Wonderwomanvik

Played with himself instead of me

FabulousFantasticFifty

Let people play her
No self esteem!

Gordon_L

She only wanted sex once a day...

Wonderwomanvik

He only wanted it twice a day.

slimgirljo15

She was a gold digger

synchkat

She actually dug for gold. She'd be gone for weeks, sometimes months at a time, digging for gold

Just_J_Now

I got suspicious of the hole she was digging in the back yard. Six feet deep. ????

synchkat

There's gold in that yard I'd tell her...she was so suspicious I decided to move I to my next victim...um I mean love

Just_J_Now

I don't want to hear it, she wanted to bury me in that hole.

FabulousFantasticFifty

She went to settle up property with her ex and I never saw her again!

Kvm11628

She wanted me to settle

Michaelg235

Hit me with the Holy Bible when I was swearing

Just_J_Now

Being with me was "settling" ugh...

slimgirljo15

I wouldn't marry her...

FabulousFantasticFifty

She wouldn't come out of the closet! ;p

telcommguy

she came out of the closet!!!

FabulousFantasticFifty

He had me in there and I finally escaped!

telcommguy

she escaped my clutches.

synchkat

Made me eat weird cereal

FabulousFantasticFifty

She was in love with a serial killer!

telcommguy

didn't like my cereal!! it's killer!!

FabulousFantasticFifty

He was always thinking that fiber optics were reading his mind!

Alfit88

Wouldn't tell me what was on her mind

FabulousFantasticFifty

I gave him a piece of my mind and he bolted!

nitroalley

I wanted a piece of her heart. She gave me a finger.

FabulousFantasticFifty

He didn't like my affectionate sign language!