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We broke up because...
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she said her rolls couldn't be sampled. Had to be bought0
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He said my bubble butt was a big fat roll0
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Always chewing bubble gum. Cheap.0
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Couldn't handle my trainer collection0
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Told me I needed a trainer0
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She got a little too friendly with my Trainer...0
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Didn't like my outgoing personality0
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Ran away with the trainer
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Ran a smuggling ring0
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Wouldn't put a ring on it...0
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He thought Beyoncé was the best singer in the world0
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He was much too young for me. I have socks older than him!1
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Ev time it was Sexy time he'd randomly yell out "Let's go Mets!!!"0
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Would not let me past third base0
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He struck out three times and had to be put in the Dugout!0
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Couldn't handle my fetish for older women...0
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He had a Mama fetish1
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Hated when I called her Mamacita!0
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She'd call me Big Papi0
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Wayyy too perfect0
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We never did
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She went to bed with someone else...0
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Day after our tinder, she was my Uber driver0
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*puts hand to forehead* he threw me away
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Would never ever happen...0
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He belonged to someone else.0
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She didn't allow our dog to sleep in the bed0
..thought you were going to bed 
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