We broke up because...
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She mistook vulgar for vulva0
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Her alarm clock was the Barney song0
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He refused to use an alarm. Demanded I wake him up. I don't do demands.0
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He played Xbox too much0
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She got pissed because she was trying to use a PS4 controller with the Xbox... then said I was playing too much0
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He wouldn't make me coffee0
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She kept going to the neighbors house for coffee0
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Because you kept sharing the coffee with @Wendy0015
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Because he was jealous of my love for coffee0
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Yea, lets try tea!!!0
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she developed an obsession with kale0
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He wouldn't eat my kale smoothies1
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She put funky stuff in her smoothies.. it smelled fishy...0
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She came home smelling of other's fishy smoothies0
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Something fishy is going on here,,,,mhmmmmm0
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Told me to go sleep with the fishes0
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He was paranoid0
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She wrecked my car0
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She always kept polaroids of her ex hidden in the closet0
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He didn't teach me how to drive a stick0
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