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We broke up because...

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Replies

  • MathDonkey
    MathDonkey Posts: 519
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    She had *kitten* lotion and I got an Indian burn on my "football"
  • Badger_Girl99
    Badger_Girl99 Posts: 2,220 Member
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    He had an Indian burn. Eww.
  • Spnneil06
    Spnneil06 Posts: 18,745 Member
    edited January 2015
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    We couldn't be intimate because of his burn, I need it every night.
  • mscheftg
    mscheftg Posts: 485 Member
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    She wasn't compassionate.
  • MathDonkey
    MathDonkey Posts: 519
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    She was too impatient
  • Spnneil06
    Spnneil06 Posts: 18,745 Member
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    He took forever to do anything, I was kept waiting for hours while he trimmed his facial hair JUST right!
  • mscheftg
    mscheftg Posts: 485 Member
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    She wanted everything on HER time.
  • MathDonkey
    MathDonkey Posts: 519
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    She considered 5 minutes "hours"!!!

    Again, so impatient!!!
  • Spnneil06
    Spnneil06 Posts: 18,745 Member
    edited January 2015
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    He had no sense of time, in bed who thought we were there hours when it was 5 minutes, when he's getting ready he thought 2 hours was 5 minutes!
  • RunTimer
    RunTimer Posts: 9,137 Member
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    She said it wouldn't hurt
  • mscheftg
    mscheftg Posts: 485 Member
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    He trusted his ex too much.
  • Spnneil06
    Spnneil06 Posts: 18,745 Member
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    Was a baby, whips don't hurt that bad!
  • mrsmartinez99
    mrsmartinez99 Posts: 1,255 Member
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    she kept bringing the whip out when my parents were over
  • Spnneil06
    Spnneil06 Posts: 18,745 Member
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    Her dad had a thing for me, it made her mad.
  • MathDonkey
    MathDonkey Posts: 519
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    She cheated on me with my dad. I mean, he's a charming guy, but still...
  • Spnneil06
    Spnneil06 Posts: 18,745 Member
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    I told him, i was choking, so he threw me on to the bed, removed my clothes so he could give me the hemlich and mouth to mouth, he just walked in at the wrong time!
  • mscheftg
    mscheftg Posts: 485 Member
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    He didn't like it when I called him "papi" in the bedroom.
  • RunTimer
    RunTimer Posts: 9,137 Member
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    Thought mayo was a food group
    Homer-Simpson-Drinks-Vodka-and-Mayonaisse.gif

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