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We broke up because...
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I kept hiding his duck0
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Kept forgetting I prefer bourbon.0
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Drank too much.0
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Cuddled with random animals0
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Wasn't enough of an animal.0
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Could BEARly tolerate me0
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Was too corny.0
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Liked corn on the cob buttered0
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Liked having butter spread all over him0
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Judged my eating habits0
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He had a thing for Judge Judy.0
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was to judgmental0
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Was way too competitive.0
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He couldn't keep his attention focused on me. It's always about ME.0
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Craved too much attention0
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Had bizarre cravings.0
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She thought I was pregnant0
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Too many pregnant pauses. I never knew what she was really thinking.0
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Thought she was a mind reader.,,0
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