We broke up because...
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When I said it was cheat day he took me literally. I meant eating food.. not the the neighbor!2
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she accused me of eating the neighbor when it was the fitness instructor not the neighbor..1
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He had so many extracurricular activities, he couldn't keep their names straight!1
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she was so worried about me getting names wrong she forgot my name!1
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He was always talking about how his Ex's ...Leaned to the right!
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He was offended by the "motivational" messages I left on the fridge0
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He ate my favorite Pie!0
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because I like pie too much... hey I really love pie!0
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The duct tape broke. Lol0
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He had a Guy duct taped to the radiator in his attic
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He didn't approve of my Musical Talents0
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Claimed he was a doctor. Turned out to be an exotic dancer.0
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Always left the house with rolls of Dollar bills0
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I have a vending machine addiction...0
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He was to perfect0
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she couldn't see my imperfections0
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He was cheating with me on his big Burly Boyfriend0
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she was mad because I rather sleep with her boyfriend0
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Was mad I dance naked in front of the TV during he's favorite show!0
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I didn't mind the Dancing, but did it have to be during The Walking Dead???!!!0
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She was always hogging the remote!!0
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I wasn't good enough for her
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He sang. I'll never un-hear it. Over!0
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Thanks anyways for the implants
Caught him in a back alley looking disheveled with a wad of dollar bills in hand 0
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