We broke up because...

jrline

she eats cat food

LovingLifeInCalifornia

She ate sardines at every meal.

FabulousFantasticFifty

She was always using her smile to seduce other Lovers!

Go_Mizzou99

She was jealous of my "skinny" post count

MikeCrazy

His picture never showed up on the forums.

Spnneil06

He never even had a crush on me!

guitarrckr

She never even noticed my crush

MikeCrazy

...because she wouldn't allow it.

lborsato1

her answer to every argument we had was "I know you are, but what am I ?"

4ever420

Turns out I was just one of many on her crush list.

MikeCrazy

She wanted a group marriage...I wasn't for all that.

Spnneil06

i tried to make it just us, but he wanted to bring his kids!

MikeCrazy

she didn't like making kids...

lt3ag4s

got pissed off when I mixed skittles and m&ms together.

guitarrckr

She didn't like my kids

lborsato1

he tried to tell me he was actually "Larry the Cable Guy"...... pffftttt

Spnneil06

He called his guitars his "kids" I was expecting real children!

lawandfitness

When did we break up Spin

MikeCrazy

she wouldn't let me have any time alone, even on the pooper.

guitarrckr

Guitars are children !?!! Lol

FabulousFantasticFifty

She didnt believe that I named my kids after guitars!

MikeCrazy

She had weird names for things and people.

Spnneil06

She wouldn't let me meet her kids, said I was a bad influence on them.

MikeCrazy

She was always ignoring me.

JLopez832

she had a dick!

lawandfitness

You rated me a 3... lol

FabulousFantasticFifty

He acted like one!

lt3ag4s

she kept her beauty hidden.

Spnneil06

She said you look like a monkey and you smell like one too when she was trying to give me a compliment.

MikeCrazy

She kept smelling me...