We broke up because...

MzIrish

he complained I was always doing laundry

SojournerThirteen

She has a fettish involving laundry detergent

iTim__

Workout routine was a distraction.

SojournerThirteen

Called his deliberate advances toward me "workouts"

FabulousFantasticFifty

I'd catch him watching this ^^ video every night before Sexy time!

iTim__

Always bragging about her independence...

FabulousFantasticFifty

That's ^^^ the outfit he wore to our wedding

SojournerThirteen

She didn't tell me about the other guy

iTim__

She found my internet search history...

FabulousFantasticFifty

It involved circus clowns and Dwarfs

littlewolf3785

She ran away to the circus to be with the clowns and Dwarfs

jjinteso

She wouldn't let me go watch the circus.

MzIrish

He was too much of a clown

FabulousFantasticFifty

It was those darned clown shoes she always wears!

liftorgohome

Her car was too small for me.

FabulousFantasticFifty

I found out he drove this

LonniJay

Always had 20 guys in her vw bug

liftorgohome

She didn't like my white caddy!

FabulousFantasticFifty

He thought he was a Pimp and called me his B*tch!

liftorgohome

The B*tch wanted me to call her ho and I said no.

FabulousFantasticFifty

Had Hohohos all over town!

let_me_clip_dirty_wings

She couldn't tolerate the permanent disfigurement of my soul...

littlewolf3785

He didn't like it when I tried to imitate his New England Accent.

FabulousFantasticFifty

He always forgets I live in Maine for part of the year!

liftorgohome

I cheated on her when she would go to Maine.

littlewolf3785

He kept trying to wrestle alligators in the pool while the kids were trying to swim

ScottishRob1

We disagreed on why little wolf left the lawkeeper.

liftorgohome

She made me wear a tie everywhere.

Egger29

He carried an inflatable alligator everywhere

FabulousFantasticFifty

Dirty rotten cheat!!!