We broke up because...
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He made me look bad at the gym.0
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He ate all the foodzzz, left me starving0
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She looked like she was starving....
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He drove a '70 Chevelle...but it only had a 6 cylinder engine0
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He didn’t know who Chevelle wAs0
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He dressed as Elsa from Frozen on weekends0
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She couldn't let it go.0
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She always wanted to build a snowman.0
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He wouldn't give me his carrot0
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She didn't know the difference between gin and vodka0
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The relationship was pla...tonic. *ba-dum tiss*1
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He was too punny0
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I found padded butt underwear in her closet lol0
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He was rifling through my closet1
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She was very clingy and verbally abusive0
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_BlahBlah_BlackSheep_ wrote: »He was too punny
No such thing, my friend. No. Such. Thing.
He was always sniping my ideas.1 -
He made fun of my Schecter0
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isn't it obvious.0
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She expected me to read her mind.0
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She saw my birth date on my license!0
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He kept asking to see my ID0
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She said she had to get up early the next day for High School!0
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He thought I needed to repeat high school in my mid 40s0
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She said she liked me because I reminded her of her fathers fathers father!0
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He had daddy issues0
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She kept texting my Dad at 3 AM0
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he wanted me to call him daddy0
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He agreed to be @DawnOfTheDead_Lift daddy0
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She wouldn't let anyone be @DawnOfTheDead_Lift's daddy0
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He dressed better than me0
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