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We broke up because...

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Replies

  • AlistairBernardNormal
    AlistairBernardNormal Posts: 999 Member
    She kept calling me 'dirty bird.'
  • _BlahBlah_BlackSheep_
    _BlahBlah_BlackSheep_ Posts: 2,148 Member
    He wouldn't take a bath.
  • terrordawg
    terrordawg Posts: 19,462 Member
    He hadn’t heard that the bird is the word
  • epr31295
    epr31295 Posts: 6,213 Member
    She said I never listened to her well I guess she was right I never heard her say we were breaking up!
  • Bill9160
    Bill9160 Posts: 8,600 Member
    he only wanted to listen to himself talk
  • craiglawanna0911
    craiglawanna0911 Posts: 24 Member
    He hid behind his shades
  • AlistairBernardNormal
    AlistairBernardNormal Posts: 999 Member
    She didn't like my sunglasses.
  • terrordawg
    terrordawg Posts: 19,462 Member
    He had too many groupies!
  • Bill9160
    Bill9160 Posts: 8,600 Member
    I found out she was a groupie for a country 🤮band
  • katerwedo
    katerwedo Posts: 1,250 Member
    His breath......
  • epr31295
    epr31295 Posts: 6,213 Member
    She insisted on kissing in the morning before brushing our teeth!
  • katerwedo
    katerwedo Posts: 1,250 Member
    He thought we were really dating
  • epr31295
    epr31295 Posts: 6,213 Member
    She always had her B.O.B. sleep between us!
  • katerwedo
    katerwedo Posts: 1,250 Member
    He was seriously warped.....kept calling me Fred and wouldn't stop wearing my clothes. Had to call the looney bin and got him picked up.
  • epr31295
    epr31295 Posts: 6,213 Member
    She kept singing these lyrics all day and night I like the song and all but her voice!

    Remember when you ran away
    And I got on my knees
    And begged you not to leave
    Because I'd go beserk
    Well you left me anyhow
    And then the days got worse and worse
    And now you see I've gone
    Completely out of my mind
    And they're coming to take me away ha-haaa
    They're coming to take me away ho-ho hee-hee ha-haaa
    To the funny farm
    Where life is beautiful all the time
    And I'll be happy to see those nice young men
    In their clean white coats
    And they're coming to take me away ha-haaa
    You thought it was a joke
    And so you laughed
    You laughed when I said
    That losing you would make me flip my lid
    Right?
    You know you laughed
    I heard you laugh, you laughed
    You laughed and laughed and then you left
    But now you know I'm utterly mad
    And they're coming to take me away ha-haaa
    They're coming to take me away ho-ho hee-hee ha-haaa
    To the happy home with trees and flowers and chirping birds
    And basket weavers who sit and smile and twiddle their thumbs and toes
    And they're coming to take me away ha-haaa
    I cooked your food
    I cleaned your house
    And this is how you pay me back
    For all my kind unselfish, loving deeds
    Ha! Well you just wait
    They'll find you yet and when they do
    They'll put you in the A.S.P.C.A.
    You mangy mutt
    And they're coming to take me away ha-haaa
    They're coming to take me away ha-haaa ho-ho hee-hee
    To the funny farm where life is beautiful all the time
    And I'll be happy to see those nice young men
    In their clean white coats
    And they're coming to take me away
    To the happy home with trees and flowers and chirping birds
    And basket weavers who sit and smile and twiddle their thumbs and toes
    And they're coming to take me away ha-haaa!
  • Bill9160
    Bill9160 Posts: 8,600 Member
    he was trying to be the next Dr Demento
  • _BlahBlah_BlackSheep_
    _BlahBlah_BlackSheep_ Posts: 2,148 Member
    He kept calling me by the wrong name
  • THS2HASPASSED
    THS2HASPASSED Posts: 1,055 Member
    she called me a bad name
  • katerwedo
    katerwedo Posts: 1,250 Member
    he didn't even know his own name
  • THS2HASPASSED
    THS2HASPASSED Posts: 1,055 Member
    she got mad that I gave her a fake name
  • terrordawg
    terrordawg Posts: 19,462 Member
    He kept making me pass out from chokeholds.. I never knew where I was half the time
  • _BlahBlah_BlackSheep_
    _BlahBlah_BlackSheep_ Posts: 2,148 Member
    She was always confused
  • epr31295
    epr31295 Posts: 6,213 Member
    I found her country music collection!
  • katerwedo
    katerwedo Posts: 1,250 Member
    its so obvious.....
  • _BlahBlah_BlackSheep_
    _BlahBlah_BlackSheep_ Posts: 2,148 Member
    She ended every sentence with, "Obviously."
  • katerwedo
    katerwedo Posts: 1,250 Member
    she always wanted to wrestle
  • Watching_The_Wheels
    Watching_The_Wheels Posts: 4,616 Member
    She subscribed to the thinking of size matters and apparently the size she was referring to was not my brain...
  • AliNouveau
    AliNouveau Posts: 36,287 Member
    He made me watch fantasy Island one too many times
  • DawnOfTheDead_Lift
    DawnOfTheDead_Lift Posts: 753 Member
    She told me her fantasy was for me to be stuck all alone on an island.
  • AliNouveau
    AliNouveau Posts: 36,287 Member
    He had barbells in every room because of his devotion to deadlifts. I ended up breaking a toe in these once a week. I ran out of toes

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