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We broke up because...
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He didn't understand that hunger is an emotion.0
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When she said she hungered for me, I misunderstood what it was she was saying...0
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He got unreasonably upset when I asked for fava beans and a nice chianti0
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Called me "Clairice" during sexy time.0
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kept calling me the wrong name....0
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told me I was not allowed to look her in the eyes or even speak her name0
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was a mute0
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Expected me to learn lip reading on the first date0
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tried to always prove she was the tongue wrestling champ!0
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Wouldn't let me kiss her nonstop. She wanted to stop and breathe, or something.0
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It was hard to talk to her when we were in constant lip lock......0
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Asphyxiation was her only foreplay0
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he required too much foreplay0
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She was so serious. No fun and games!0
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I don't remember why we broke up? It's fun being old i forget things and get new adventures every day!1
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He constantly complained about tearing his shirts, but always bought them two sizes too small.0
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His falsetto voice gave me nightmares0
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She hated when I sang the Bee Gees to her0
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He was always singing to some other girl0
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She secretly liked her boobs being admired...so get annoyed when I’d try and look into her soul through her eyes...0
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I found out he had a collection of Souls!0
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Every time he looked at me, he poked me in the eye0
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Our height difference was to much of a challenge!0
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He carried a step stool everywhere we went0
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She objected to my favorite platform shoes with the goldfish in the heels0
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He stole my shoes!0
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She told me she wanted to see other people, kicked me out of the car, left me standing on the side of the road in the rain--all over some shoes. At least I kept the goldfish. Still, I miss my car.0
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He was late coming home with some excuse about shoes, carrying random goldfish.0
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Was too gullible0
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Never, ever on time0
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