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We broke up because...
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She found out I was buying Viagra for my FWB0
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Got stuck in the friendzone0
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only wears granny panties0
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He was bossy0
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She was too jealous0
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she wouldn't give up her job as a stripper0
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He didn't like to see me naked in the pool0
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She kept slipping chocolate laxative powder into my protein shakes and would laugh hysterically all night long.0
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it is just awkward in the town pool with all the families there0
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He's a bit of a exhibitionist! Loves to shock people with his nakedness!0
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you said leave the we didn't need to shut the blinds, how was I to know our neighbor was filming us?? how would I know we would become an internet sensation.0
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it was me not her...uh huh...NEXT!0
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It was him, not me.0
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she kept leaving the peanut butter with the lid off and it got all crusty0
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he used peanut butter to rub on his nipples and let the dog lick it off. Gross!0
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She doesn't like peanut butter!0
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you rubbed peanut butter all over you and let the dogs lick it off and one time that opossum we rescued0
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They didn't quite support my eating lint habit0
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I wasn't getting enough lint for myself0
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kept pulling lint out of my belly button and eating it0
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