We broke up because...
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He only spoke in puns and innuendo0
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He wouldn’t take off his Santa hat.0
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He wanted reindeer instead of turkey for Christmas dinner0
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She worked out with her trainer at his house for 9 hours a day she said that was how she made her body happy!0
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He was too busy being her personal trainer. He had no time for me.0
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She was jealous of my friends0
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😯 his friends were all imaginary0
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She wouldn't let her friends near me0
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We were so perfect for each other that we could never part ways and we went bankrupt. Decided I'd rather have money!0
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He took fortune over fame0
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His imaginary friends came to life and they were like some really perverted people!0
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He was afraid of sharks0
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He kept singing Baby Shark nonstop0
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All she wanted to do was watch Sharknado movies all day and all night0
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He insisted on wearing his hat swimming0
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He wore Speedos to the polar bear plunge0
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He wanted me to do the polar bear plunge. No way!!0
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She wasn't spontaneous enough for me.0
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He was constantly scaring me and calling it spontaneity.0
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She never changed her outfit!0
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He was a total fashion diva0
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We started arguing if her dress was Black/Blue or Gold/White...then in internet got involved and we never saw one another again.0
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Didn't know his superheros0
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He started listening to Country Music!0
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He wanted to be a famous rapper...and he couldn't rhyme0
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