We broke up because...

epr31295

He sold his Harley it was what attracted me to him!

_BlahBlah_BlackSheep_

He was so superficial and materialistic!

Bill9160

She wouldn't let me "shear" her wool 😉

Watching_The_Wheels

Monotony and routine settled in and never left...

Reckoner67

I never took anything seriously—until I did

Bill9160

He was convinced that Elvis was alive and working the Wendy's drive through

Watching_The_Wheels

My internal data failed to back up and I was no longer able to update to the newest software...

4mykidsnme

So he came and licked it off!

Bill9160

She didn't like to be licked

liftorgohome

He tried to lick a flag pole and his tongue got stuck. Too embarassing for me.

_BlahBlah_BlackSheep_

He was really embarrassed by odd things, like flagpoles. We couldn't go anywhere in public because of his phobia.

liftorgohome

She never wanted to stay at home and suggle.

AliNouveau

there wasn't enough space in the mansion for both of us

liftorgohome

She left 9 miles trailer park saying she won the lottery and bought a mansion but didn't give me the address.

slimgirljo15

He disappeared..

Why yes officer that is fresh concrete in the basement

MrSunshinez

We kept fighting over the same fireman.

Bill9160

He had an obsession with hoses

AliNouveau

He was merely a number

Tankiscool

She thought Bill was just a number a d nothing else.

Unknown

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Tankiscool

Because she tried to post at the same time as me

Bill9160

he always wanted to be first

_BlahBlah_BlackSheep_

He had trouble taking turns.

Bill9160

She had an issue with me being straight

epr31295

He wanted to live straight edge I wanted some fun and maybe a little risky business!

osche731

They'd never flex for me...

_BlahBlah_BlackSheep_

She expected me to flex all the time.

liftorgohome

S h e wasn't flexible enough

osche731

He liked his arms more than me.

liftorgohome

She didn't like being in my arms.