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We broke up because...

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Replies

  • PaperDoll_
    PaperDoll_ Posts: 32,857 Member
    He only wanted to wear OshKosh B’Gosh. The hissy fits he had in the store when nothing fit was too much for me.
  • bigjuicy1234
    bigjuicy1234 Posts: 22,577 Member
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    He only wanted to wear OshKosh B’Gosh. The hissy fits he had in the store when nothing fit was too much for me.

    Did t understand it was because it rhymes with my name Josh
  • PaperDoll_
    PaperDoll_ Posts: 32,857 Member
    bigjuicy1234 wrote: »
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    He only wanted to wear OshKosh B’Gosh. The hissy fits he had in the store when nothing fit was too much for me.

    Did t understand it was because it rhymes with my name Josh

    😂 Still too small for you. They’re probably going to make you pay for all those tops you tore.
  • happimess01
    happimess01 Posts: 9,074 Member
    She wanted a mechanical bull in the living room as her bday present.
  • slimgirljo15
    slimgirljo15 Posts: 269,456 Member
    No sense of fun and adventure
  • PaperDoll_
    PaperDoll_ Posts: 32,857 Member
    She wouldn't give me her socks.
  • slimgirljo15
    slimgirljo15 Posts: 269,456 Member
    She wore better socks .. :(
  • PaperDoll_
    PaperDoll_ Posts: 32,857 Member
    Her foot fetish was too much for me. She was always staring at my socks. I have eyes!
  • happimess01
    happimess01 Posts: 9,074 Member
    When i fainted at the gym, she tried to wake me up by putting her stinking socks on my nose
  • bigjuicy1234
    bigjuicy1234 Posts: 22,577 Member
    He kept fainting at the gym. Found out it was because he farted on the treadmill and couldn't run away from it.
  • happimess01
    happimess01 Posts: 9,074 Member
    He was so vain he was looking at his muscles in the mirror as he gave CPR to an old woman
  • TheMrWobbly
    TheMrWobbly Posts: 2,541 Member
    edited November 2019
    Claimed to be giving CPR but do you do that with tongues?
  • slimgirljo15
    slimgirljo15 Posts: 269,456 Member
    He wouldn't share the cookies :(
  • PaperDoll_
    PaperDoll_ Posts: 32,857 Member
    She kept asking me to grow a beard. I told her I couldn't, and one day I woke up with hair glued to my face.
  • slimgirljo15
    slimgirljo15 Posts: 269,456 Member
    PaperDoll_ wrote: »
    She kept asking me to grow a beard. I told her I couldn't, and one day I woke up with hair glued to my face.

    She insisted on sticking a beard on her face everyday.. I found out the hair came from the Brazilian waxing job she had :D
  • Beka3695
    Beka3695 Posts: 4,126 Member
    She insisted that I Brazilian wax, too. Shaving was not enough for her 😣
  • mommabear4315
    mommabear4315 Posts: 3,424 Member
    bigjuicy1234 wrote: »
    He kept fainting at the gym. Found out it was because he farted on the treadmill and couldn't run away from it.

    Hahahahaha hahahahaha
  • mommabear4315
    mommabear4315 Posts: 3,424 Member
    jfsnr1wwv9sw.gif
  • s1im62
    s1im62 Posts: 31,200 Member
    She kept telling me hilarious jokes every time I tried to take a drink, and I thought she was trying to kill me.
  • happimess01
    happimess01 Posts: 9,074 Member
    She wanted me to learn the guitar so she can live out her groupie fantasies
  • RastaLousGirl
    RastaLousGirl Posts: 2,119 Member
    M
  • RastaLousGirl
    RastaLousGirl Posts: 2,119 Member
    My groupie fantasies. ☹
  • mindstateofamonster
    mindstateofamonster Posts: 100 Member
    She got mad I liked a lot of tongue
  • mommabear4315
    mommabear4315 Posts: 3,424 Member
    Because we were from two different worlds
  • happimess01
    happimess01 Posts: 9,074 Member
    She said it was an accident but i caught her playing footsie with my cousin at the dinner table
  • FabulousFantasticFifty
    FabulousFantasticFifty Posts: 195,832 Member
    His cousin was irresistible 😬
  • happimess01
    happimess01 Posts: 9,074 Member
    She was two hours late to our wedding :(
  • FabulousFantasticFifty
    FabulousFantasticFifty Posts: 195,832 Member
    He planned our wedding without proposing first 🤨
  • happimess01
    happimess01 Posts: 9,074 Member
    She hated beards. She even refused to perform CPR on a dying man for the same reason
  • s131951
    s131951 Posts: 3,776 Member
    happimess01 wrote: »
    She hated beards. She even refused to perform CPR on a dying man for the same reason

    That's why I carry an emergency shaving kit on my person at all times.

    He wouldn't take me to his special spot.

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